You've already written this thing out, haven't you?  Unless you
decided to write two chapters before releasing the first one to the
FFML...
Don't know why anyone would want to do that though ... *sweatdrop*

      "In the hands of a mortal."  Tomoe said quietly.  "There are 
things in heaven and earth not dreamt of in your philosophy, 
Henry."  He laughed.  "I've always wanted to say that."

	The original quote is "There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."  Applying a bit of
creative manipulation, there should be, at least, a "more" between
'are' and 'things'.  Feel free to ignore me though, I'm sure you
already thought of that when you wrote it.

       Arcadia woke up with something warm and heavy on her 
chest.  A quick peek revealed it wasn't Marcus, much as part of her 
hoped it might be, but was instead a little blue-haired munchkin in 
green pajamas.  

	"Hoped it might be"? She sure took quick to that kid if she's hoping
he's in bed with her.. :)

 

***************
Nemesis,  Royal Palace, DY (Demand Year 305)

	I see our normal "translations" of the current year are absent here.
Gee, what could that mean?

       Prince Demand frowned.  "Are you sure, Wiseman?  We can't 
afford another fiasco like what happened to King Hari at Belkin 
Ridge."  He shuddered at the thought.  Serenity's army had been so 
huge.  Albernia had been the greatest power on Earth, not counting 
the Winter Queen's vast hordes, when Serenity came.  King Hari had 
thought he could easily take down Serenity once she was exhausted 
from battling the Winter Queen.  Hari had been an ignorant fool, fat 
with unearned pride.  He had ignored the prophecy at his cost.  
Serenity had swatted down Belkin without even noticing.  She 
hadn't even bothered to kill a single one of his warriors.  She

hadn't 

bothered to stop their flight to Nemesis.  They were only the first

of 

those who had fled.  

	So, lets review.  There's a Wiseman who a badguy with Demand and such,
a Dr. Wise who's with Tomoe and Hotaru, and a Dr. Weissman who's about
to go the way of the Dodo.  Interesting, or no? Or am I being a
"wise"-ass?
 

       "Nine tenths of what would be done by servants or janitorial 
staff does itself, or can easily be done by a skilled mage in

seconds.  

My powers are feeble, but even I can clean up most messes, at least 
inside the Palace."  Everything was spotless, Arcadia realized. Even 
her mother, the biggest neat freak in the history of mankind, 
couldn't have found anything to critique.  "Food cooks itself, 
bathrooms clean themselves, laundry does itself.  We do hire 
caterers for special events, though.  Humans do a better job than 
magic on food.  We also keep gardeners, because people change 
their minds too often to leave it to automatic magic, and the 
hospitality staff escorts visitors around and makes sure their needs 
are met."  

	Closer to Utopia than most Fic's I've read.  At least you continuously
remind the reader that there is a price for everything though, kinda
gives it that eerie feel that they must be giving up something, but
what?
 
 

******************

Earth,  Angelica's Needle, 2365 AD (Serenity Year -627, 3116 Years 
after the founding of Rome, Juraiian Year 22529, Federal Year -
1619)

	I'm wondering, what significance does the Founding of Rome have to do
with this?  Surely you picked these methods of telling time for a
reason, why Rome? And what's 'Federal Year'?


Adam Chris Leigh
Omicron@sprynet.com
--== Did I mention, Good Job? Cause I meant to, every step of the way
==--