So, shall I torture you all by not posting final round for a few days? :)
-=-
SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
(http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
PRESENTS...
Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Fighting Tournament BETA :
Round 4 Results
A Street Fighter / Darkstalkers / Toshinden / Ranma 1/2
Samurai Showdown / Groove On Fight / Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles / And Many Others Reader-Voting
Tournament Fanfic
by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
(All characters copyright other people, obviously. If I
ever even considered claiming that these were my own
characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where
I'd be forced to eat my own super combos to live.)
-=-
AUTHOR'S NOTE : First of all, I know this is being released
prematurely. However, we got about a hundred votes in, everybody
was winning in landslides, and things had trickled off... and I
just know you're all sitting on edge waiting to see what happens
next. Here's what happens next. Share and enjoy.
I'm proud to wrap this sucker to a close, and I'm very thankful
for everybody who participated. I've got big plans for the
future, having found a particularly fun little niche to inhabit
in the fanfic community, and you can expect future wildness to
occur after the posting of Final Round... which is typed, done,
and coming soon. I've decided to torture you all by waiting a
day or two before posting it. >:) OHOHOHOHO!! ...try not to pee
in your pants in anticipation or anything.
-=-
MATCH 1 : KASUMI vs. MARIO/NARU
Virtual pets are everywhere. You'll find them on keychains,
on necklaces, on bracelets, hidden in office desk drawers, and so
on. They're cute little things that beep you every now and then
adorably for food.
Pichi, Kasumi's Tamagotchi, was beeping. But since it was
on the scale of most grizzly bears and had manifested itself in
reality, when it beeped, it wanted to eat something bigger than a
stupid loaf of bread.
Something the side of Nario, to be specific.
Pichi licked its lips, as Mario and Naru did the Boolean
Polygon Union method, merging into the weird-assed swordsman
known as Nario. Fresh meat for its digital stomach, Pichi
thought, although in its head this was translated into 'beep beep
beep beep.'
Kasumi cheered her tamagotchi on, because Pichi was a big
softie really. Pichi tested Nario's bounds, waving his big
pixellated arms at Nario, who batted them away with hir sword.
"Beat it, you dot matrix freak!" Nario taunted. "We're 3-D
and you're not! NYAH!!"
Pichi began to cry. ;_;
"Oh, no," Kasumi said on a downbeat. "You made him all sad.
See? The little skull is flashing."
This was unexpected. "Uh..." Nario offered, scratching hir
head. "Sorry?"
Pichi accepted the apology by biting Nario in half. Before
Nario's legs could start to panic, the virtual pet ate those two.
It burped digitally, then waddled around, content and fed.
[RESULT : KASUMI (92 votes), Mario/Naru (30 votes).]
Kasumi cleaned up the little digital puddles of Tamagotchi
poo with a pooper scooper. She was a tidy virtual pet keeper.
Mario and Naru popped out of one of the larger digital
turds, coughing and sputtering.
"That was-a hands down the most DISGUSTING thing I've-a ever
experienced," Mario said bitterly.
MATCH 2 : SAKURA vs. UKYOU
The way of the warrior is one of inner peace combined with
strength of spirit. It is a noble art worthy of respect, a fine
control of power which lends itself to inner harmony.
Then there's the 'catfight', which basically involves two
pissed off girls clawing at each other and pulling hair and
tussling on the ground, which is what Sakura and Ukyou were
involved in. The way of the warrior gets tossed on its ear in
favor of good old fashioned down and dirty brawling.
Both girls had basically forgotten what the fight was about,
and now were only concerned with poking each other's eyes out.
It wasn't pretty.
"Stop it, stop it!" Anita begged, hugging her doll.
"Please... can't we all just get along?"
"TART!"
"TOMBOY!"
Anita muttered. "Fine, we do this the direct way," she
said, flaring up pink with an aura. She telekenetically yanked
Ukyou and Sakura apart, bonked them against the arena floor once
or twice to clear their heads, and set them down.
Ukyou rubbed her head painfully. "You didn't have to hit so
hard, Anita-chan..."
"Look, this fight is petty," Anita said. "Look at you two.
Like a couple preschoolers! Over what? A misunderstanding and a
cheap insult. You're better than that!"
"It's true," Sakura nodded. "I've been a real jerk."
"Me too!" Ukyou agreed.
"Right," Anita smiled. "Now, shake hands, and beat the snot
out of each other like civilized people."
The two girls shook hands, then started exchanging perfectly
acceptable punches, kicks, fireballs and spatula strikes until
Ukyou won.
[RESULT : UKYOU (66 votes), Sakura (56 votes).]
"Ow," Sakura stated for the record.
EXHIBITION MATCH 1 : URD vs. SEPHIROTH
o/~ Bad Boys Bad Boys, whatchoo gonna do... o/~
[COPS, in HEAVEN. Filmed with the men and women of law
enforcement. All suspects are guilty until proven innocent in a
court of law.]
[Two officers, cruising in a patrol minivan through Heaven's
streets. 8:13pm.]
OFFICER MIYUKI : You hit a lot of problems in Heaven, actually.
Sometimes you'll get a fistfight over who's a more righteous
saint, or if someone took the last bagel at Joe's... yeah, you
get some problem elements. But that's what we're here for.
OFFICER NATSUMI : Yeah, especially with this tournament in town.
There's a lot of tourists, and an atmosphere of violence... it's
to be expected.
RADIO : One adam 12, one adam 12, possible domestic dispute at
apartments at 413 Angel Way, please respond.
[The patrol mini pulls up to a townhouse on Angel Way. Officers
head upstairs, to Urd's flat, where most of the furniture (and
the roof) have been annihilated by attack spells.]
OFFICER MIYUKI : Excuse me, what's the probl--
URD : We're going to the MOVIES, dammit!
SEPHIROTH : I am a will onto myself. I change for no one.
URD : Then your whitehaired butt isn't going out with me!
Officer, this pig says he won't go to the movies with me unless I
defeat him. I--
SEPHIROTH : The hysterical woman is clearly not thinking.
Chocobo races are an official future god of the Planet approved
activity and thus she must partake in them.
URD : Quit calling yourself that. You're not god, you're a movie
of the week! You're a t-shirt, at best!
OFFICER NATSUMI : Uh... you're the goddess Urd, right?...
URD : That's right.
[Officers Miyuki and Natsumi run away, get in their car, and peel
out.]
OFFICER MIYUKI : Are we out of the blast radius?
OFFICER NATSUMI : I think so.
OFFICER MIYUKI : [to the camera] You may think that was an act
of cowardice, but I'd have to differ. Urd has a past history for
this kind of thing. I'd call it more of--
[A TREMENDOUS EXPLOSION rocks the city block. A pillar of smoke
slowly rises from the spot where Urd's apartment used to be.]
OFFICER MIYUKI : ...an act of self preservation.
OFFICER NATSUMI : The paperwork on this one's going to be pretty
bad, I think...
OFFICER MIYUKI : Who do you think won?
[Down the block, a singed Urd drags an unconscious Sephiroth out
of the burning building, tosses him into a taxi chariot, and they
peel out.]
OFFICER NATSUMI : I think that answers your question...
[RESULTS : URD (75 votes), Sephiroth (47 votes).]
EXHIBITION MATCH 2 : RUMIKO vs. OTOMO
The manga artist and the movie director circled each other,
one *FOOT* thank you very much Mr. Spellchecker who doesn't catch
ridiculous but correctly spelled errors such as these long blades
ready to disembowel each other.
Thankfully, wiser heads prevailed, as a number of Otaku ran
up to intercede, placing themselves between the two. After a few
of them accidentally got gutted in surprise, things settled down.
"You shouldn't do this!" they proclaimed, in unison, as
Otaku are wont to do. "It's wrong. You're both very talented
and well loved by us. Why destroy each other over a simple
argument?"
"They're right," Otomo nodded. "I've been a right bastard.
Come on, Rumiko, I'll buy you an Orange Smoothie."
"Oooo," Rumiko smiled.
"Right," the Otaku smiled. "Now, don't worry. We'll fight
this battle for you. LEGIONS HO!!!!"
And with that, the thundering herd of otaku all fixed
bayonets and, in scores of scores of droves, charged each other
on a battlefield. It looked kind of like a scene out of
Braveheart; limbs were hacked off, blood was spilled, and fanboys
died by the dozen. War cries were uttered, banners with Ranma
and Noa Izumi were waved, and smoke filled the air, obscuring
most of the horrendous carnage. It was brother against brother,
fan against fan, and only the strong would survive.
But in the end, the armies of Rumiko had broken through the
front. Otomo Otaku lie twitching in pools of their own internal
organs. The war was over; the Takahashis had won.
[RESULT : RUMIKO (78 votes), Otomo (43 votes)...
They should kill each other (1 vote),
Not touching that one with a 6.2 light year pole (1 vote).]
"What a senseless waste of human life," Rumiko commented,
sipping her refreshing beverage from somewhere far away.
"Short round," God commented.
"Hai, Mr. Jones?" Short Round piped in with.
"No, not you. I meant the fighting," the Lord replied.
"So... it'll be Ukyou versus Kasumi in the finals, is it?"
Belldandy nodded. "That's how it turned out."
"Okay... day of rest declared, in my saving grace and
wisdom, yadda," God said. "The REAL fun starts day after
tomorrow, Bell-chan. Get CNN on the line. We're going global."
AND SO, AFTER ROUND FOUR, THE RESULTS ARE :
ROUND ONE ROUND TWO ROUND THREE ROUND FOUR FINAL
Dan \_Dan_________
Michelangelo / \_Kasumi______
Kasumi \_Kasumi______/ \
P. Toadstool / \_Kasumi______
Popura \_David_______ / \
David / \_Splinter____/ \
Birdie \_Splinter____/ \
Splinter / \__KASUMI
C. Jones \_C._Jones____ /
M.A.D. / \__C._Jones___ /
Kuroko \_Kuroko______/ \ /
Kunou / \_Mario/Naru__/
Mizuki \_Mario_______ /
Mario / \__Mario/Naru_/
Luigi \_Naru________/
Naru /
SD-Sakura \_Nicotine____
Nicotine / \_Evil_Sakura_
Sakura \_Sakura______/ \
L. Raptor / \_Sakura______
Chin \_Vermillion__ / \
Vermillion / \_B.B._Hood___/ \
S. Kensou \_B.B._Hood___/ \
B.B. Hood / \__UKYOU
SD-Akuma \_SD-Akuma____ /
Athena / \_Ukyou_______ /
Anita \_Ukyou_______/ \ /
Ukyou / \_Ukyou_______/
Kiyone \_Kiyone______ /
Remi / \_Kiyone______/
Mihoshi \_Mihoshi_____/
Devilot /
Will Ukyou be able to fight and defeat Kasumi?
Will Devilot's master plan FINALLY come to fruition?
Will there be a secret Final Boss like there always is in these things?
Will the saga that is Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Fighting
Tournament Beta REALLY come to a complete end?
All these questions and more, answered, when THE FINAL ROUND of
Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Fighting Tournament BETA arrives at
a newsgroup, mailing list or website near you.