matter. I'll find out to whom this duck belongs, if anyone, and
negotiate to purchase it. If Azusa wants it, she will have it."

       "I take it your daughter is... special? What they call
autistic?"

Ryoga:  Definitely a good question.  Definitely.

Ranma:  Yeah. I'm an excellent skater. Definitely an excellent skater.

       "My dear, I assure you that no child of Shiratori Hideki is any
such thing. Azusa is just Daddy's little girl. Isn't that right, honey?"

       Azusa giggled. "Right, Daddy."

       "It's late. I ought to be going." Ryoko stood up, stumbling a
bit as she moved toward the door. "Oh! That sake of yours was very good.
I must have had a little more of it than I thought."

Ryoga:  I thought she had water.

Yoiko:  No, it only said drinking glass.  Didn't say what was in it. ^_^
You guys just always worry about water, though, don't you?

Ranma:  Tell me about it.

       "Azusa, would you show Ryoko to one of the guest rooms?" Hideki
said. "She seems to have had too much to drink."

       "I don't want to impose on you..." Ryoko said.

Ranma:  I bet she does, too.

       "No trouble at all, my dear. My home is your home."

Ryoga:  Mi casa es su casa.

Yoiko:  Que sera, sera.

Ranma:  *rolling eyes*  Whatever.

       "Thank you." Ryoko followed as Azusa scampered out of the room.

                                ______


       Ryoko quickly glanced around as she walked down the corridor.
Each part of the house was decorated in a different style, apparently
chosen at random. Paintings, books, and shelves filled with other
assorted knick-knacks cluttered up the walls. Some of the things looked
valuable, but most didn't.

       If Azusa was a collector, Ryoko thought, she wasn't the only one
in the family who was.

Yoiko:  Scary thought.  There might actually be others.

Ryoga:  Don't even THINK it!

       Azusa stopped and swung open a door. "Here you are!"

       "Thanks, Azusa," Ryoko said. "I'm sorry about what I said
before. I wouldn't want to cook Claudette."

Ranma:  No, she'd rather have some nice, juicy pork chops...

Ryoga:  *hair standing on end*  SHUT UP!

       "Azusa-chan won't let anything happen to her friends, will she?"
She embraced the groggy-looking duck.

       "I believe you, Azusa." Ryoko moved around to the door. "You've
been collecting... friends... a long time now, have you?"

       "Daddy sent me to school. The other kids there didn't like me.
So I looked for different friends to play with. I learned how to skate
later. Then everybody liked me."

Ranma:  Except Mikado.

Yoiko:  Well, he tolerated her.

Ryoga:  That's saying a lot.

       Ryoko entered the guest bedroom. "Well, Goodnight, Azusa. See
you tomorrow!" Azusa bounded off down the corridor as Ryoko closed the
door.

       She smiled to herself. Hideki had believed her story about the
magazine article. Everything was going according to plan.

Ranma:  Ha!  I knew she was a sneak!

                                ______


       "This is your home now, Claudette!"

Ryoga:  Poor Mousse.

Ranma:  You say that a lot.

Ryoga:  I can relate.

*snipped the description of the room*

       Stephanie was a plaque, colored bright sky blue. Graceful
pictures of birds in flight adorned it. Mousse read the words on it. *If
you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If not,
it never was.* With the heavy leash chafing against his neck, Mousse was
not pleased by the irony.

Yoiko:  He's picking up on a lot of irony in this story.  I think usually
he's kind of blind to that sort of thing.

Ryoga:  I think usually he's just kind of blind.

Ranma:  Ironic, isn't it?

       Azusa giggled. "Those birds on Stephanie are so cute, aren't
they!" She flipped a deadbolt into place, locking her room shut.

       Mousse noticed that one of the shelves was empty except for a
small velvet pillow. "This is Michelle's place," Azusa said. "She was
one of my best friends until she got lost. Isn't that sad, Claudette? I
hope someday she'll come back. I miss her and worry about her."

Ranma:  Where's Charlotte's place?

Ryoga:  Shut UP!

       Azusa took a large blanket from a closet. Folding it over twice,
she set it down in a corner. "You can stay here tonight, Claudette." She
unhooked the leash from around Mousse's neck. "Tomorrow I'll get you
somewhere better to sleep. Goodnight!" She turned out the light and
slipped into her bed.

       Mousse sat on the blanket and waited. He would leave when the
time was right.

Ryoga:  Heh, good luck.  It's not as easy breaking out of that place as
you'd think!
                                ______

       Hours passed. The pale rays of the moon shone through the single
window in the room, casting a stream of light on the adjacent wall.

       Mousse looked at Azusa. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
Her breathing was so soft that Mousse had to listen closely to hear it.

       He examined the window. It was a single pane of thick glass,
with no opening mechanism. He thought for a moment. He could smash
through the glass, but that would probably wake Azusa. It would be
easiest to simply leave through the door.

Ryoga:  Tried that.  That wakes her up, too.

Ranma:  So how DID you get away?

Ryoga:  You don't want to know.

Ranma:  Did it have something to do with bath time?

Ryoga:  SHUT UP!

       Waddling past Azusa's collection of cute things, he wondered
whether Shampoo would like it if he were to give her something like
them. Probably not. Nothing he gave her or did for her ever seemed to
make her happy.

Ryoga:  Poor...

Ranma:  Yeah, yeah, poor Mousse.  You've said that already.

       Mousse was obviously too short in his duck form to reach the
doorknob from the floor. He flapped his wings and propelled himself
upward, hoping that Azusa wouldn't wake up. Gripping the deadbolt in his
bill, he managed to slide it open.

Ryoga:  Being able to fly sure comes in handy.

Ranma:  Yeah, you'll never know, will you?  Unless pigs fly!  Hahaha!

Ryoga:  Watch it, Ranma!

       The same thing wouldn't work for the doorknob, he realized; not
enough leverage to turn it. Noticing a small wooden chair in the room,
he flew down to it. He slowly pushed the chair along the floor, as
quietly as possible, until it was adjacent to the door on the side with
the knob.

       From atop the chair, Mousse leaned over to grab the doorknob in
his bill. He hung precariously in the air, supported by the bad-tasting
knob in his mouth and the wobbly chair at his feet. Kicking away from
the chair, he let gravity swing his body downwards, thereby turning the
knob with his mouth.

       The knob was turned enough to allow the door to open. Mousse
stretched his leg over to push off of the wall. The door swung back. He
let go of the knob and fell to the floor.

Ranma:  Freedom!

Yoiko:  Reminds me of a George Michael song...

Ranma:  PLEASE don't do it!

Yoiko:  I didn't say I wanted to sing it!  Just that it reminds me of a song.

Ranma:  Whew!

Yoiko:  Don't push your luck, Ranma...

       Mousse stepped out the door into the hallway. Now he just had to
find a window that opened, and he would be free to go; although as to
*where* he would go, he had no real idea.

Ryoga:  Away from Azusa is a good start...

       There was an old saying, *life is what happens to you while
you're making other plans.* That was certainly true for Mousse's life.
Perhaps some of the Gods were punishing him for something, he mused. Why
else would they make Shampoo so perfect for him, and then arrange things
so that nothing he did could possibly win her love? Were they trying to
teach him a lesson? If so, he couldn't see what it was.

Ranma:  Not surprising, on account of he can't see...

       One of the other doors opened.

Ranma:  It's the sneak again!

                                ______


       Ryoko stepped into the darkened corridor, quietly shutting the
door behind her. Now that everyone had gone to bed, she could search the
house. She walked silently down the corridor, keeping one hand on the
wall, flashlight at the ready.

Ryoga:  You were right!

Yoiko:  Every once in a blue moon, he gets to be right.

Ranma:  Oh, gimme a break.  I just happen to be a good judge of character,
is all.

Yoiko:  Kodachi being a perfect example, I suppose.

       She had checked into Hideki's financial records. The balance in
his bank accounts was far lower than it should have been. He had to be
keeping a secret hoard somewhere. She was going to find it.

       As Ryoko took a step, she felt something beneath her feet. A
noise came from whatever she had stepped on.

       "KWAK!"

Ranma:  That's gotta hurt, too.

       She moved quickly back. Finding the door to the guest room, she
opened it and ran back in.

                                ______


       "KWAK!"

       Mousse felt something step on his left wing.

Ryoga:  He ought to know it was Ryoko.

Ranma:  This is Mousse we're talking about.  He didn't SEE anything!

Pain shot up and
down it. He heard the sound of footsteps moving away, and a door opening
and closing.

       A light came on. "Claudette?" Azusa stepped out into the
corridor. "Oh no, you've hurt yourself, haven't you?"

       Mousse pointed with his other wing to the direction whoever had
stepped on him had run to. "Kwak! Kwa kwak!"

Ranma:  It wasn't my fault!  It was that duck-stomping maniac!

       Azusa scooped him up. "I'm sorry, Claudette. I'll have to keep
you on your leash from now on."

Ryoga:  Ouch.  This brings back some bad memories...

       Mousse lay back on the blanket Azusa had set out for him. The
leash around his neck constrained him, its other end tied to a bedpost.
He knew that he could get loose if he worked at it; but he was tired,
and for now this was as good a place to sleep as any.

       He drifted off to sleep. The pain in his arm prodded him awake.
He rolled over as much as he could, hoping a change in position would
help.

Yoiko:  His arm?

Ryoga:  Wing.

Ranma:  Whatever.

       Sleep eventually came. Shampoo fought her way into Azusa's
house, past Danielle and Delphine and all the other guards, to rescue
Mousse. He collapsed into her arms as she said "Mousse, I no mean it. I
no mean all things I say to you." They went back to China together as
she helped him deal with the trauma he had suffered.

Ranma:  Poor guy.  He has no clue that this is the exact opposite of what
Shampoo wants.

Yoiko:  Are you implying that Shampoo wants to be a damsel in distress?

Ranma:  No, but she doesn't want to be the only strong one either.

Yoiko:  Ok, that makes sense.  But it's not really the exact opposite, you
realize.

Ranma:  Sorry.  *rolling eyes*  English majors...

       Light brought Mousse back to consciousness. He struggled to
remember where he was, to comprehend the scene he was looking at.

Ranma:  How hard could it be to remember a night at Azusa's?

Ryoga:  *shudder*  I'm still trying to forget...

       He was still a duck, tied to a leash. His arm still throbbed,
but not as much as before. Using his other wing, he pushed his glasses
into place.

Ranma:  So is it a wing, or an arm?

Ryoga:  Is it live, or is it Memorex?

       Azusa stood stretched out in front of her collection of
"friends", as if shielding them. In front of her was the woman Mousse
had seen downstairs the day before. She spoke into a cellular phone
tucked between her shoulder and chin. "That's right. What we're looking
for is in this room. Get here as soon as you can."

       "You can't have my friends!" Azusa backed up as she and the
woman glared daggers at each other.

Ryoga:  Wonder if that hurts their eyes?

       The doorbell rang. The two women continued their standoff.

       Footsteps and voices came up the stairs. "Search where you like,
gentlemen. I've nothing to hide." Azusa's father walked into view,
surrounded by men in cheap-looking suits.

Ryoga:  It's the Men in Black!

Yoiko:  It's the Blues Brothers!

       The men headed straight into Azusa's room, and began examining
her collection.

       "You stop that! These are *Azusa's* friends!" Azusa started
hitting one of the men. Ignoring her, he moved aside with her, blocking
her from the others. "No!"

Ranma:  That's got to be one strong man.  I mean, keeping Azusa away from
her friends???

       "They're here." One of the men took a small cylindrical object
with an intricate symbol carved on one end from Odette.

       "What's that?" Azusa asked, putting down the chair she was about
to hit the man with.

Ranma:  Whoa.  She's putting DOWN the chair?  Without bashing a few heads a
few hundred times first?

       "It's a bank sigil," the woman answered. "Your father uses these
to access money under a false name to avoid taxes. Isn't that right, Mr.
Shiratori?"

       Azusa's father turned. "Then you are...."

       "Tax inspector Itakura Ryoko, sir. I'm afraid you're under
arrest for income tax evasion."

Ranma:  So she wasn't really a sneak?

Ryoga:  Excellent judge of character, my foot...

       Mousse watched quietly. All of this had nothing to do with him.
He started looking for a way to undo his leash. He would wait his chance
and leave as soon as he could.

Yoiko:  Wait for his chance.

       Mr. Shiratori looked around the room. "Ah well, such are the
risks of the game. Well-played, my dear inspector." He turned to his
daughter. "Azusa, to you I am truly sorry. I shall try to return to you
when I can." He looked back at the agents. "Shall we go now?"

       One of the agents escorted Mr. Shiratori out of the room.
"Collect all this evidence," Ryoko said to the others.

       "No!" Azusa cried. "You can't take my friends!" She snatched
Lucia away from one of the agents. Two others grabbed Azusa, each taking
hold of an arm. She began kicking. "NO!" More agents took hold of her
legs.

       "Look, Azusa, I don't like doing this," Ryoko said, a bit
angrily.

Ryoga:  Why should she be angry at Azusa?  She just lost her family and her
"friends" all in one fell swoop.  I think she's entitled to be upset.

Ranma:  She's a pain in the neck, and you know it.

Ryoga:  I still think she has a good enough reason.

"Your father has been hoarding money that other people need to
survive. Japan needs to provide jobs, medical care... can you understand
me, Azusa?"

       Azusa screamed as she struggled wildly. "GIVE ME BACK MY
FRIENDS!"

Ryoga:  Poor kid.

Ranma:  Didn't expect to be feeling sorry for AZUSA in this story, did ya?

Ryoga:  Shut up.

Ranma:  Me neither.

       Mousse couldn't help feeling sympathy for Azusa as he watched.
Everything that she cared about was being taken away from her, because
of her father's mistakes.

Ryoga:  Does she lose the house, too?

       "Sorry, Azusa." Ryoko said. She and the agents carried most of
Azusa's collection downstairs. The other agents set Azusa down carefully
and followed.

Ranma:  They had to set her down carefully.  She could still explode.

       Azusa got up and surveyed the remains of her collection. There
were only a few items left, things that obviously couldn't hide
anything. And Mousse. "Claudette! They took Kristina! They took Cynthia!
They... they took..."

       She looked down with big tear-stained eyes. "Claudette, they
took Daddy!"

       Mousse searched for something to say that would help, something
to make Azusa feel better. "Kwak," he said.

Ranma:  Aw, geez...

Ryoga:  What's your problem?

Ranma:  This almost sounds like a conversation with Akane and P-Chan.
Except there's quacks instead of repulsive grunts and squeals.

Ryoga:  Hey!  Ranma, that does it-!

Yoiko:  Not yet!

       "Claudette, you don't want to leave me, do you? I'll get you a
nice bed, and some fish... I'll get you whatever you want."

Ryoga:  Do ducks eat fish?

Yoiko:  I dunno.  I know they eat cracked corn...and the plants at the
bottom of lakes...  I don't know about fish, though.

       Mousse saw another reflection.

       "Please.... You're all I've got left, you and Stephanie and...."

       Azusa looked at the plaque. For perhaps the first time, her eyes
focussed with comprehension on the words. *If you love something....*

       She looked at the duck bound by the leash.

       "I'm sorry, Claudette." She choked on the words as she loosened
the leash. "You can go now." She fell into a silent sulk.

Ryoga:  Hm.  She's growing up a little.

Ranma:  Unlike you, right, Ryoga?

Ryoga:  SHUT UP!!!

Yoiko:  You're just TRYING to start a fight, aren't you?

       Mousse could go. But to where?

Ryoga:  Egypt is nice this time of year.

       Shampoo was gone. He had to let her go. And he knew that she
wouldn't be back, that she would never be his. She never was.

       On the other hand, here was someone who was hurting; someone who
he might be able to help.

Yoiko:  I'd drop the "who."

       Mousse quacked to get Azusa's attention. He gestured with his
uninjured wing.

       "What's that, Claudette? You want me to come with you?"

Ryoga:  What's that, Lassie?  Timmy fell down the well?

       The duck went into the upstairs bathroom. Azusa followed. Mousse
grabbed the hot water faucet with his bill, and turned.

       Azusa stared with big eyes at the long-haired man in the Chinese
robes covering himself with a hastily-grabbed towel. "Oh, Claudette!"

Ranma:  If he's in his robes, why is he covering himself with a towel?

Yoiko:  He's very shy. ^_~

       "Ah, hello Azusa... er, my name's not Claudette. I fell into a
cursed spring that turns me into a duck when I get wet. I'm Chinese, not
French, so of course I wouldn't have a French name. My name is Mousse."

       "I'm very sorry for keeping you tied up... Mousse."

Yoiko:  She's handling that pretty well.  No screams or anything.

Ranma:  Maybe she's seen a transformation like that before, eh, P-Chan?

Ryoga:  Shut up!!!

       "That's okay. You couldn't have known. Besides, I had a lot on
my mind anyway. I'm sorry about your father, and all of your, uh,
friends."

       "My friends are all I have." Azusa sighed. "I'll just have to
look for new ones."

       "Um, look, I'll be your friend. If it'll help, I mean."

       "Really?" Azusa smiled. "I'm happy you're my friend, Mousse.
You're cute!"

       "Cute?! Why... er... uh..." Mousse looked around
self-consciously.

Ranma, Ryoga, and Yoiko:  Awwwwwww....

       "Mousse is Azusa's favorite friend." She giggled. "Better even
than Michelle!"

       "Who is Michelle, anyway?" Mousse asked, idly curious,
remembering the empty space on Azusa's shelf.

       "Michelle was a little cloth doll, with yellow string hair and a
red dress. I took her to school a long, long time ago. Everybody liked
Michelle. They all told me how cute she was, even the ones that didn't
talk to me before that. I miss her."

       Mousse reached inside.

       He remembered all the presents he had given to Shampoo, the ones
that she always threw back in his face.

       Azusa's face lit up with a wide smile as she joyfully embraced
the doll that Mousse handed her. "It's Michelle! Oh, thank you! Thank
you! Mousse is wonderful!"

Yoiko:  Pretty cool.  I like the contrast with Shampoo.

       *Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.*

       Somehow that didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore.

                                ______


       Mu Si parked his bicycle and went into the skating rink. He saw
Azusa on the ice and waved as he entered.

       Azusa leapt into the air, doing a complicated spin and landing
gracefully as Mu Si watched. Soon she might even be ready for the
Olympics. She was beautiful when she moved; not in the same way that
Shan Pu was, but that didn't matter.

Yoiko:  She's given up pairs skating?

Ranma:  Probably a good thing, for the health of the guy skaters.

       Mu Si knew that he would have to leave soon, to help the people
he grew up with. He hoped Azusa would be all right without him.

       He wondered whether that tax inspector had been right when she
had called Azusa autistic. Maybe it was true.

       But even autistic people needed love. And they were capable of
giving it.

Yoiko:  Nice closure there.  All in all, I liked it.  This is my favorite
of the HaM series so far. ^_^

Ryoga:  I liked it, too.  It was depressing, but it ended up nicely.

Ranma:  Now?

Yoiko:  No.  Say something relevant about the fic first.

Ranma:  Um...It's over!

Ryoga:  And now you'll pay!  *fight ensues*

Yoiko:  And that's it for this one, folks!  Hope you enjoyed it!

^_^

Yoiko