[Lurker and Hikaru are lounging in the theater. Both look rather
bloated, and are occassionally belching. A half-empty glass of punch
sits beside Lurker, while an empty glass and a pitcher sit beside
Hikaru. They are occassionally passing a bottle of Pepto back and
forth between them.]

Lurker: <belches mightily> Eh? What've we got here...?

Hikaru: <peers at the screen> Something "experimental" by Flashman. 

Lurker: Hmmm. Well, might as well take a look, ne?

Hikaru: <burps, and manages to make the act of burping seem kawaii>
Hai!

Flashman: I'm stuffed.

Lurker: Ah. That would be the Curse of the Turkey You Have Just
Consumed. You now know exactly how the turkey felt. 

Sakura: I think (holds her hand over her mouth as she burps) I

could 

get to like this "Thanksgiving".
Flashman:(Smirks) Told ya. (Looks around) Where's Trident?
Sakura:(Shrugs) Got me.
Flashman: You didn't let him have any of the Death By Chocolate... 
did you?  You KNOW what chocolate does to him.

Hikaru: Death by Chocolate? Sounds fun!

Lurker: <nods> Yeah. Almost sounds as good as Mississippi Mud cake...

Hikaru: <giggles> Oooh, that was *good*.

(Trident comes in and back flips all throughout the theater.)

Trident:(Singing) I am the very model of a cartoon individual!  I'm

comical, unusual and also rather whimsical.

Lurker, Hikaru: O_O <stare at Trident> ... <exchange glances> COCOA
HIGH!

(Trident continues singing as Flashman and Sakura stare at him and 
when Trident reaches the far back of the theater...)

Trident: HALF TIME! (He collapses to the floor and starts snoring.)
Flashman: (Shaking his head) Alcohol doesn't do a thing to him, but

give him the tiniest piece of chocolate and he falls apart.

Lurker: <snicker> 

Hikaru: <giggle>

Sakura: Want to work on TRIO?  I'll help, especially with the fight

scenes.
Flashman: Okay.

Lurker: Work on TRIO would be nice....very nice...extremely nice....

(Flashman pulls out a remote and turns on the screen.  However, 
something other then TRIO pops up.)

Lurker: Eh?

Flashman: What the...
Sakura: What's this?
Flashman: I don't... wait a minute.  I remember this, I was working

on TRIO and one day got stuck on something in it and wrote this.
Sakura: Hmmm... ANOTHER SM/R1/2&DBZ fusion?
Flashman:(Shrug) So sue me.  I thought it would be cute.

Lurker: Hmmm, what do we have here....?

Sakura: You know, this is pretty good.  How about we continue it?
Flashman:(Shrug) Why not?  Sounds like fun... and who knows...

maybe 

this will earn me more respect from the FFML and earn me SOME

respect 

from the RRML.  Maybe this will earn me....
Sakura: ...MST's?
Flashman:(Coughs) Sure... those too. (Aside) How does she always

see 

through me like that?

Lurker: <snicker> 

DRAGON MOON 1/2


     It was raining in Nerima.  This was a normal event.  People 
opened their umbrellas and continued on  their way.  This was also 
normal.  Suddenly, loud explosions could be heard coming from down 
the street.  This would become normal.

     Two forms, one a red headed girl in an orange karate gi, the 
other a panda bear, dropped down from the sky and landed in the 
middle of the street, "Listen pop," the girl said, "For the last

time 

I am NOT getting married to some girl I've never even met before!"

Lurker: <blinks> Hey, wait a sec...I've seen this before...

Hikaru: <rolls her eyes> Most alternate-reality Ranma fics start like
this.

Lurker: <shakes head> No, no...I mean, this particular one...I
recognize it.

     With that the girl let out a roar of anger and with a gold

flash 

of light, the red head was a blonde.  The panda looked at the girl 
for a second before it let out a roar of its own and the black hair

that was on it became blond as well.  The two charged each other

and 

traded a flurry of blows.  Suddenly, the panda disappeared and the 
girl looked around for it as she exclaimed, "Now where did he...."

     She was cut off as the panda whacked her on the back of the

head 

with a stop sign.

Lurker: Ouch.

     Soun wept for joy as he read the card from his dear friend. 

It 

said,
<Coming soon,

Bringing son.

Your friend,
Goku>

Hikaru: <raises an eyebrow> This could get interesting...

     Soun stood and ran to gather his daughters.

Lurker: Roll call!

     "Kasumi!"
     "Nabiki!"
     "Akane!"

Hikaru: Yep, that's every...one...what the...!?

     "Usagi!"

Hikaru: O_o

Lurker: <snorts> Figures.

     The door opened and Usagi walked in as she cried, "I'm home!  
Sorry I'm late but the teacher gave me deten..." Usagi tripped on a

crack on the floor and fell on her face, "OW!  WHHHHAAAAAA!!!!"

     "...now," Nabiki finished.

Lurker: <snicker>

Hikaru: <giggle>

     "Hey," Nabiki finally said when the shock had worn off, "maybe

we shouldn't take this so hard.  This Gohan might not be such a bad

guy."

     "Is he my age?" Kasumi asked, "Younger men are so.... YOUNG."

     "Is he cute?" Nabiki asked.

     "Hey," Usagi exclaimed, "That's MY line.  Aren't you supposed

to 

ask if he's rich?"

(Sorry SKJAM, that line can be used in more then one reality

right?)

Lurker: <snicker>

      Alarm bells rang in all four girls heads and they all looked

at 

each other with "oh BOY" looks.  Suddenly, the sound of a door 
opening and someone yelling, "PUT ME DOWN" was heard.

     Soun leaped to his feet and exclaimed, "That must be Goku and 
Gohan now!"

Lurker: Gee, wonder what gave him a stupid notion like *that*...

Hikaru: <giggle>

     Something about Gohan, Soun noted, didn't feel right.  He 
stepped back and took a look.  A red headed girl in an orange

karate 

gi looked back.  "Dad," Nabiki pointed out, "Gohan is a GIRL!"

     The lights went out for Soun.

Lurker: Shoulda paid that power bill...

     Gohan nodded and walked out.  Usagi and Akane soon went up to 
their rooms as they chatted and gossiped about school mates and

other 

such things.  Kasumi went back to cooking and Nabiki went to go

check 

her business holdings.  As soon as they were gone, Soun heard a 
familiar voice behind him say, "Hello old friend."

Lurker: Surprise, surprise!

     Nabiki knew Gohan was still in the bath but still, Usagi 
embarased so easily sometimes and it was so funny when she did so. 

Usagi went down the hall and into the bathroom.  She undressed in

the 

changing area, grabbed her towel and walked in...

     Only to see a naked man coming out of the tub.  A....

completely.

.... 100%.... naked.... MAN!

Lurker: <cackles>

     "There's a PERVERT in the bath room," Usagi exclaimed, her

eyes 

wide in fear.

     "Someone trying to scare my little sister?!" Akane thought, 
"KILL!!!!!!"

     Aloud she growled, "I'll drown him in the bath tub!!!"

Lurker: Bitch mode *ON*!

Hikaru: <giggle>

     The four sisters stood there stunned.  The table fell with a 
whump onto Akanes head.  "Calm down please," Soun said, "I can 
explain everything."

Lurker: Bitch mode *off*.

	The two small space ships landed on the planet.  The ships looked 
like giant baseballs with glass portals on them.  They opened and

the 

beings inside stepped out.  "At last," the being from the ship on

the 

left said, "Earth!"

	The other one replied, "This doesn't look like how you described 
Earth.  In fact, this looks like a planet in the Proxima System."

Lurker: Hmmm...could it be...?

	The two of them were stark contrasts to each other.  The one on

the 

left was at least six foot, with short cropped brown hair, a cat

like 

face with a confused expression and wearing armor of some kind with

a 

yellow top and black pants.  "Rei," he said as he turned to his 
partner, "this HAS to be the right place."

	A small, non discript alien wobbled over to them and said,

"Welcome 

to Proxima 3."

Lurker: nondescript

	Rei snarled, "I should have known better then to let YOU set the 
ships coordinates Ryoga," as she blasted the alien with a small

fire 

blast.

Lurker: I KNEW IT!

Hikaru: <giggles>

	Rei was a woman with black hair that spilled down to her waist, 
wearing a white shirt, with a red bow on her chest as well as an 
unreasonably short red colored skirt, a sneer perminantly attached

to 

her face.  The only thing the two had in common was that both of

them 

wore devices over their right eyes.  The devices were Scouters,

small 

machines with the ability to gauge a life forms power level.  Right

now, the two of them were scanning the terrain.  "Hmph," Rei

muttered,

 "might as well get some exercise while we're here.  What do you

say?

"

Lurker: Shouldn't the bow on her chest be purple...?

	Ryoga grinned, "Why not?"

	The two of them lifted off the ground and went flying off to cause

some damage.

Lurker: Heh. They know how to party!

Hikaru: <groans> Wonderful. <mutters> Leave it to me to wind up with
a half-breed Saiyajin...

	The two leaped forward and clashed in mid air.  They traded a

furry 

of blows and then Gohan hit a sharp kick to Gokus chest that sent

him 

down towards "Spring Of Drowned Slug" but Goku was able to use his 
flying ability to avoid an unnecessary bath.  "Oh," the guide

noted, 

"they fly.  Not so tragic then."

Lurker: Yeah, right...

	Nothing happened for long moments and then, up came a giant panda 
bear.  Gohan looked on slack jawed as the panda suddenly roared and

the black hair on it became golden.  The teenager turned towards

the 

guide and stammered, "W-w-what the hell is THAT?!!"

Lurker: It's...

Hikaru: It's?

Lurker: It's...

Hikaru: Yes? It's...?

Lurker: It's...a SUPER PANDAJIN!!!

Hikaru: <facefault>

	Gohan-chan gasped for breath as she sat in the spring and then she

looked down at her gi and noticed that the chest portion was

sticking 

out farther then it should have.  With a sick feeling, she opened

the 

gi and screamed when she saw that....

	She.... had.... BREASTS!!!!!!!

	"See," the guide concluded, "Now you girl."

Lurker: Hmmm....this bears closer examination...

Hikaru: Lurker no HENTAI! <bashes him with her sword>

Lurker: I...tai...

	Goku-panda grumbled something in response and Gohan-chan shrieked,

"AND STOP TRYING TO TALK WHEN YOU'RE A PANDA!  DIDN'T THAT GUIDE 
TEACH YOU THAT SIGN TECHNIQUE!!!!"

Lurker: <snicker> 

	Goku-panda pulled out a sign from behind his back that read,

<Boot, 

I haven't gnat the hinge of it yak.>

Lurker, Hikaru: <ROFL!>

	With that, the two cursed, Saya-Jin School Of Martial Arts

masters, 

flew up into the air, powered up and collided in a violent battle. 

"Well," Akane said, not completely able to hide the satisfaction in

her voice, "I guess this means no fiances."

	"I wouldn't say that sis," Usagi replied in a whisper, "we know

Papa 

better then that."

Lurker: <cackle>

	The silent explosion of the planet brought a rare smile to Reis

face 

as she watched along with Ryoga onboard their ships.  "Nice shot," 
Ryoga complimented, "I bet they never saw that one coming."

	"Why thank you," Rei replied, "now, shall we try for Earth again."

	"Sure.  I'm certain I've got the coordinates right this time."

	"You'd better."

	A few hours later....

	The ships opened.....

	"AHHH!  Earth at last!"

	"This ISN'T Earth."

	"WHERE IN THE COSMOS ARE WE NOOOOOWWWWW?!!!!!!!"

Lurker: <ROFL!>

Hikaru: <giggle>

Lurker: Not bad, not bad at all. Worth continuing, for the sheer
humor value alone. Although, I really can't see Gokou acting quite
this way...but then, it's an alternate-reality fic, so it doesn't
matter. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------
You know you're eating at a bad Italian restaurant 
when there's something Roman in your meal.
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/9502

Atama karappo no hou ga yume-tsume komeru
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