<the lights fade in on two figures in a cave, staring at a computer
screen. the one on the left is a thin girl with blue hair and a sword in
a scabbard on her hip, the one on the right, a thoughtful-looking guy with
shiny black hair and a staff. both stare intently at the monitor.>
(The scene opens on a theater, with Flashman and Sakura sitting in
the foreground and a table that holds the decimated remains of what
must have been a gigantic Thanksgiving dinner. The two of them are
holding their bellies and both sigh in contentment.)
Willow: Oh yeah, been there. Whoo. Once again, you are the master, Jonas.
Jonas: Why, thank you.
Flashman: I'm stuffed.
Sakura: I think (holds her hand over her mouth as she burps) I could
get to like this "Thanksgiving".
Flashman:(Smirks) Told ya. (Looks around) Where's Trident?
Sakura:(Shrugs) Got me.
Flashman: You didn't let him have any of the Death By Chocolate...
did you? You KNOW what chocolate does to him.
Sakura: Uh oh.
Jonas: 'Uh oh?' This could be interesting...
(Trident comes in and back flips all throughout the theater.)
Trident:(Singing) I am the very model of a cartoon individual! I'm
comical, unusual and also rather whimsical.
W & J: <sweatdrop>
(Trident continues singing as Flashman and Sakura stare at him and
when Trident reaches the far back of the theater...)
Trident: HALF TIME! (He collapses to the floor and starts snoring.)
Flashman: (Shaking his head) Alcohol doesn't do a thing to him, but
give him the tiniest piece of chocolate and he falls apart.
Willow: Must be that hormone or enzyme or whatever in chocolate that makes
you feel good...
Jonas: You can't be serious.
Willow: Here. <dumps a stack of scientific papers in Jonas' lap> and
have fun.
Sakura: Guess this means we're not reviewing tonight.
Flashman:(Grumbling under his breath) Not like there's many good
pickin's. RPM.... grrrrrr.
Sakura: Want to work on TRIO? I'll help, especially with the fight
scenes.
Flashman: Okay.
Willow: More TRIO? When?
(Flashman pulls out a remote and turns on the screen. However,
something other then TRIO pops up.)
Flashman: What the...
Sakura: What's this?
Flashman: I don't... wait a minute. I remember this, I was working
on TRIO and one day got stuck on something in it and wrote this.
Sakura: Hmmm... ANOTHER SM/R1/2&DBZ fusion?
Jonas: anything else you think you can throw in there?
Flashman:(Shrug) So sue me. I thought it would be cute.
Sakura: You know, this is pretty good. How about we continue it?
Flashman:(Shrug) Why not? Sounds like fun... and who knows... maybe
this will earn me more respect from the FFML and earn me SOME respect
>from the RRML. Maybe this will earn me....
Sakura: ...MST's?
Flashman:(Coughs) Sure... those too. (Aside) How does she always see
through me like that?
Willow: It's easy if you know how.
Jonas: <blinks> Wait a minute, you don't mean...?
Willow: <smiles knowingly>
The Flashman
May The Spirit Preserve You!
Willow: Speaking of preserves, what else is in your cellar, Jonas?
Jonas: <groans> How can you even think about eating?
_________________________________
DRAGON MOON 1/2
It was raining in Nerima. This was a normal event. People
opened their umbrellas and continued on their way. This was also
normal. Suddenly, loud explosions could be heard coming from down
the street. This would become normal.
Willow: Normalacy is a fallacy. Especially in Nermia.
Two forms, one a red headed girl in an orange karate gi, the
other a panda bear, dropped down from the sky and landed in the
middle of the street, "Listen pop," the girl said, "For the last time
I am NOT getting married to some girl I've never even met before!"
Jonas: Because that would create a situation not unlike the one in the
show Ranma 1/2...
Willow: <muttering> Why? Why does it have to be me?
The bear tried to say something but it came out as grumbling.
"I don't have time for fiances," the girl continued, "I have to get
back to China... and it can be around you or THROUGH you!"
Jonas: Hey, she's a girl, she can do that "seeing right through you"
thing too! So why doesn't she just use it to get past the big 'ol panda?
Willow: <just shakes her head>
With that the girl let out a roar of anger and with a gold flash
of light, the red head was a blonde. The panda looked at the girl
for a second before it let out a roar of its own and the black hair
that was on it became blond as well.
Willow: <in a Valley Girl voice> Like, Oh my God! Who brought the, like,
peroxide and stuff?
The two charged each other and
traded a flurry of blows. Suddenly, the panda disappeared and the
girl looked around for it as she exclaimed, "Now where did he...."
She was cut off as the panda whacked her on the back of the head
with a stop sign.
Willow: <smacks Jonas on the back of the head>
Jonas: Ow! Wadidja do that for?
Willow: It needed a sound effect.
Meanwhile, at the Tendo Dojo......
Soun wept for joy as he read the card from his dear friend. It
said,
<Coming soon,
Bringing son.
Your friend,
Goku>
Soun stood and ran to gather his daughters.
Willow: Attention, troops! Roll Call!
Jonas: You can take the mage out of the army, but you can't take the army
out of the mage.
"Kasumi!"
A young woman stopped her cooking and looked up at her father.
"Nabiki!"
A girl in her room stopped reading the stock reports and looked
up at her father.
Jonas: Wait, if she's in her room, how can she look at her father?
Willow: Remember, women can see right through things.
Jonas: Ah.
"Akane!"
A girl in the dojo stopped breaking bricks and looked up at her
father.
"Usagi!"
W & J: WhAt?
No answer.
Willow: Typical.
"Usagi? Now where could that girl have gotten to?"
"If you're looking for Usagi," Nabiki said, "she should be home
right about...."
The door opened and Usagi walked in as she cried, "I'm home!
Sorry I'm late but the teacher gave me deten..." Usagi tripped on a
crack on the floor and fell on her face, "OW! WHHHHAAAAAA!!!!"
Jonas: <looks sidelong at Willow> Is it just me, or did the author
combine all of the usual SM pratfalls into one?
Willow: Looks like it.
"...now," Nabiki finished.
"What is it you wanted us for father?" Kasumi asked after she
had soothed Usagi with a batch of fresh baked cookies.
Willow: Shouldn't Usagi be slobbering and making munching noises here?
"I have wonderful news," Soun exclaimed, "I've told you many
times about my training with my oldest and dearest friend Son Goku,
have I not?"
"Only about a thousand times," the two youngest Tendo siblings
(Akane and Usagi) said at the same time.
Jonas: Oh geez, they're perfect for eachother.
Willow: But you've got to wonder how many times Akane's beaten Usagi to a
pulp for being such a wuss.
Jonas: Good point.
"Well, he's coming here after a training trip to China and he's
bringing his son, Gohan with him."
W & J: And the plot thickens.
"So?" Usagi asked as she bit into another cookie.
"As you also know, our two styles, The Magical Girls School,
which one of you will inherit one day from your dearly departed
mother, and the Saya-Jin School have had a history of cooperation."
"To quote sis," Akane said, "So?"
"One of you is going to marry Gohan."
Willow: Usagi or Akane?
Jonas: Sorry, I'm not a gambler.
"WHAT???" Three of the four sisters exclaimed. (Kasumi of course,
being the exception)
Jonas: Hmm, maybe they should ditch the () and just make that part of the
previous sentence.
"Hey," Nabiki finally said when the shock had worn off, "maybe
we shouldn't take this so hard. This Gohan might not be such a bad
guy."
Willow: In other words, Maybe he's hot.
"Is he my age?" Kasumi asked, "Younger men are so.... YOUNG."
"Is he cute?" Nabiki asked.
Willow: She's asking her father? Like he'd know. Guys don't know if
other guys are cute.
Jonas: Hey, don't stereotype us!
Willow: Well, Mister I'm-Not-Your-Average-Guy, tell me one guy you think
is cute.
Jonas: Ummmmmm...
Willow: I rest my case.
"Hey," Usagi exclaimed, "That's MY line. Aren't you supposed to
ask if he's rich?"
(Sorry SKJAM, that line can be used in more then one reality right?)
Jonas: Only if it doesn't alter the fabric of space and time.
Willow: Speaking of which, I need to see my tailor one of these days...
"Yeah dad," Akane interjected, "what IS this Gohan like?"
"I don't know," Soun answered, "I've never met him."
Alarm bells rang in all four girls heads and they all looked at
each other with "oh BOY" looks. Suddenly, the sound of a door
opening and someone yelling, "PUT ME DOWN" was heard.
Willow: Well, gee, I wonder who that is?
Jonas: Timing is everything.
Soun leaped to his feet and exclaimed, "That must be Goku and
Gohan now!"
Nabiki and Usagi, their curiosity overtaking them, followed
their father down the hall. Two seconds later, the three of them
came running back as a giant panda bear with a person over its
shoulder walked into the house. "Pop," the person exclaimed, "Cut it
out! Can't you see you're scaring them spitless!"
Willow: You know, chewing gum can help that.
The panda placed its burden down and stood back. "I..." the
girl said, "I'm Son Gohan.... sorry about this."
As soon as the surprise wore off Soun grabbed Gohan and hugged
as he said, "I'm so happy you've arrived!"
Jonas: He won't be quite as happy when he realizes what Gohan really is...
Something about Gohan, Soun noted, didn't feel right. He
stepped back and took a look. A red headed girl in an orange karate
gi looked back. "Dad," Nabiki pointed out, "Gohan is a GIRL!"
W & J: Whoopsy!
The lights went out for Soun.
Later.......
Soun awoke to see Kasumi, Nabiki and the panda looking down at
him. He groaned as he awoke and sat up. "Dad," Nabiki scolded, "how
could you have told us that Gohan was a boy?!"
Jonas: Isn't misinformation a drag?
"I assumed," Soun explained, "that Gokus SON would be a boy."
Willow: That's how it usually works, you know.
The panda seemed flustered by this for some reason and shuffled
for the bathroom. Meanwhile, exclamations came from the dojo. The
group looked up to see Gohan, Usagi and Akane coming back after they
had promised Kasumi to show their guest around. "You should have
seen it," Usagi blabbed, "Akane asked if Gohan wanted to spar and
Gohan said yes and then... it was so FAST! Gohan just avoided Akanes
punch and..."
"Sis," Akane interrupted, "you don't have to rub it in."
"Sorry," Usagi blushed.
Willow: But you're not REALLY sorry, are you?
Jonas: Sheesh, calm down.
"If you don't mind," Gohan said, "I'm going to take a bath."
Jonas: Be sure to clean the hair out when you're done.
"Go right ahead," Soun said, "You're a guest and thus are
allowed all the privileges of one."
Gohan nodded and walked out. Usagi and Akane soon went up to
their rooms as they chatted and gossiped about school mates and other
such things. Kasumi went back to cooking and Nabiki went to go check
her business holdings. As soon as they were gone, Soun heard a
familiar voice behind him say, "Hello old friend."
A little later.....
Nabiki knocked on Usagis door and the youngest Tendo sister
looked out. "Yes sis?" she asked.
Nabiki smiled at her sister and said, "Your bath is ready... and
by the way, do you know who that guy dad's talking to is?"
"What guy?"
Willow: You know, that guy.
Jonas: What guy?
Willow: That guy over there talking to their father.
Jonas: Who?
"Never mind."
Willow: Thank you for saving me the trouble.
Nabiki knew Gohan was still in the bath but still, Usagi
embarased so easily sometimes and it was so funny when she did so.
Usagi went down the hall and into the bathroom. She undressed in the
changing area, grabbed her towel and walked in...
Willow: ...Just in time to join the orgy...
Jonas: Please get your mind out of the gutter.
Only to see a naked man coming out of the tub. A.... completely.
.... 100%.... naked.... MAN!
Willow: <in Kasumi voice> Oh my.
Usagi closed the door, put her clothes back on, walked out of
the changing area... and screamed.
Jonas: Ah, I was just waiting throughout that paragraph for the scream.
All the people in the living room looked up at the scream and
watched Usagi as she raced in and hid behind Akane. "What is it?"
Akane asked in concern.
"There's a PERVERT in the bath room," Usagi exclaimed, her eyes
wide in fear.
Willow: Happousai? Rei's grandfather? How'd they get there?
"Someone trying to scare my little sister?!" Akane thought,
"KILL!!!!!!"
Jonas: She's worried about someone trying to scare her sister?
Willow: Yeah, I'd go kill the guy for trying to take advantage of her.
Jonas: But he didn't.
Willow: This is Akane, remember?
Jonas: Oh, yeah, forgot for a second there.
Aloud she growled, "I'll drown him in the bath tub!!!"
Akane grabbed the table and hefted it over her head. At that
moment a boy with black hair, wearing the same gi the girl had been
wearing before, walked into the room. "Who are you?" Kasumi asked.
Willow: Doesn't take a detective to figure that one out.
"I..." the boy said, "I'm Son Gohan.... sorry about this."
The four sisters stood there stunned. The table fell with a
whump onto Akanes head. "Calm down please," Soun said, "I can
explain everything."
Jonas: Nice detail with the table.
He indicated the man on his left, who was attired the same as
Gohan but his hair was longer and more frazzled looking and said,
"This is my old friend, Son Goku..."
"...and this," Goku said, "is my son."
"Gohan," Gohan finished.
Willow: Isn't this where everyone facefaults?
Usagi just stared at him as Akane growled threateningly.
"You're probably wondering what's going on," Goku continued, "well,
I'll explain. It all started with a training trip to China...."
Jonas: Oh boy.
Meanwhile, somewhere in deep space......
Willow: Long, long ago, in a place far, far away...
The two small space ships landed on the planet. The ships looked
like giant baseballs with glass portals on them. They opened and the
beings inside stepped out. "At last," the being from the ship on the
left said, "Earth!"
The other one replied, "This doesn't look like how you described
Earth. In fact, this looks like a planet in the Proxima System."
Willow: This sounds like someone we know...
The two of them were stark contrasts to each other. The one on the
left was at least six foot, with short cropped brown hair, a cat like
face with a confused expression and wearing armor of some kind with a
yellow top and black pants. "Rei," he said as he turned to his
partner, "this HAS to be the right place."
Jonas: Lucky they didn't end up in a black hole or something...
A small, non discript alien wobbled over to them and said, "Welcome
to Proxima 3."
Willow: May I take your order please?
Rei snarled, "I should have known better then to let YOU set the
ships coordinates Ryoga," as she blasted the alien with a small fire
blast.
Willow: Would you like to be fried with that?
Rei was a woman with black hair that spilled down to her waist,
wearing a white shirt, with a red bow on her chest as well as an
unreasonably short red colored skirt, a sneer perminantly attached to
her face. The only thing the two had in common was that both of them
wore devices over their right eyes. The devices were Scouters, small
machines with the ability to gauge a life forms power level. Right
.now, the two of them were scanning the terrain. "Hmph," Rei muttered,
"might as well get some exercise while we're here. What do you say?"
Ryoga grinned, "Why not?"
The two of them lifted off the ground and went flying off to cause
some damage.
Willow: Sounds like fun!
Jonas: Maybe *I* should hold that sword...
Flashback....
{Two months ago, Jusenkyo China}
"Here sirs," the guide said in his broken Japanese, "is legendary
training ground, Jusenkyo. Over two thousand spring, each with own
TRAGIC story."
Jonas: Why is the story always tragic? Why couldn't it be a happy story
for once?
Goku looked around and said to his son, "This is the place. Ready
Gohan?"
Gohan also looked around and replied, "Whenever you are Father.
This place isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be."
Willow: I was expecting, you know, pillars of flame, little guys with
pitchforks, that sort of thing.
With those famous last words, the two martial artists each leaped up
onto one of the poles that stuck out of the various pools. "Please
sirs," the guide said, "What you doing?!! Very bad you fall in
spring!"
Jonas: What if you fall in Winter? Or fall in Fall?
"I won't hold back Gohan," Goku declared.
"Neither will I," was the reply.
The two leaped forward and clashed in mid air. They traded a furry
of blows and then Gohan hit a sharp kick to Gokus chest that sent him
down towards "Spring Of Drowned Slug" but Goku was able to use his
flying ability to avoid an unnecessary bath. "Oh," the guide noted,
"they fly. Not so tragic then."
Willow: But it's Jusenkyo. It's *always* tragic.
Unfortunately, the guide was quickly proven wrong as Gohan hit Goku
with a flying body press and sent him down again. This time, Goku
did splash into one of the springs.
Nothing happened for long moments and then, up came a giant panda
bear. Gohan looked on slack jawed as the panda suddenly roared and
the black hair on it became golden. The teenager turned towards the
guide and stammered, "W-w-what the hell is THAT?!!"
"Your father," the guide explained, "fall in 'Spring Of Drowned
Panda' very tragic story of panda who drown in spring 500 year ago."
Unfortunately for Gohan, his lapse in concentration was enough for
Goku-Panda to deliver a hard right paw to Gohans jaw. The teenager,
already disoriented by the events of the past minute, fell out of the
sky and into one of the springs. "Oh dear," the guide moaned, "you
fall in 'Spring of Drowned Girl'. Very tragic story of girl who
drown in spring 2,000 year ago. Now, whoever fall in spring, take
body of young girl."
Willow: Well, I guess I can put that money I'd saved for the sex-change
operation toward my college education instead.
Gohan-chan gasped for breath as she sat in the spring and then she
looked down at her gi and noticed that the chest portion was sticking
out farther then it should have. With a sick feeling, she opened the
gi and screamed when she saw that....
She.... had.... BREASTS!!!!!!!
"See," the guide concluded, "Now you girl."
Jonas: Well, isn't that obvious?
Willow: Yeah, I thought he was a penguin.
Jonas: Wrong spring.
Back to the Tendo Dojo (Present day).....
Gohans hands tightened into fists as Goku finished the tale.
Jonas: That should have an apostrophe, like 'Gohan's hands.'
The
Tendos just sat there in shock and after several minutes, Soun
finally said, "So, the legendary training ground of Jusenkyo. It's
true horror has been reveled at last."
"TRUE HORROR!!!" Gohan roared as he turned towards his father, "You
never said anything about any 'true horror'!!!"
Willow: Of course he didn't. Otherwise you'd have never gone along with
it.
Goku lowered his head as he muttered, "I didn't know."
"I'm not surprised," Gohan angrily replied, "we just HAD to go to
Jusenkyo, even though you didn't speak a WORD of Chinese!"
W & J: DOH!
Goku, though slow to anger, finally had enough, "Gohan," he growled,
"you sound like a GIRL!"
With that, he grabbed the younger Son by the collar and tossed him
into the small pond that was in the Tendo back yard. Gohan-chan rose
up and grabbed a bucket by the side of the pond. She filled it up
and then raced over to his father. When she was near enough, she
splashed the contents over Goku. "You should be one to talk," Gohan-
chan said, "My Pop's a PANDA!!!"
Goku-panda grumbled something in response and Gohan-chan shrieked,
"AND STOP TRYING TO TALK WHEN YOU'RE A PANDA! DIDN'T THAT GUIDE
TEACH YOU THAT SIGN TECHNIQUE!!!!"
Jonas: Shouldn't there be question marks there?
Goku-panda pulled out a sign from behind his back that read, <Boot,
I haven't gnat the hinge of it yak.>
W & J: o/~ Yakety-yak, don't talk back!
Gohan-chan suddenly seemed calm as she said in a quivering whisper,
"Excuse us for a moment Mr. Tendo. Dad and I need to work out a few
things."
Willow: When the carnage is over, we'll call you.
With that, the two cursed, Saya-Jin School Of Martial Arts masters,
flew up into the air, powered up and collided in a violent battle.
"Well," Akane said, not completely able to hide the satisfaction in
her voice, "I guess this means no fiances."
Willow: <scoffing> Yeah, that'd be the day.
"I wouldn't say that sis," Usagi replied in a whisper, "we know Papa
better then that."
Soun looked at his daughters nervously and said, "We can figure this
whole thing out in a little bit, but let's give them a few minutes to
come back to themselves."
Back in deep space.....
The silent explosion of the planet brought a rare smile to Reis face
as she watched along with Ryoga onboard their ships. "Nice shot,"
Ryoga complimented, "I bet they never saw that one coming."
Jonas: And it's not like they'll see anything else...
"Why thank you," Rei replied, "now, shall we try for Earth again."
Jonas: I hate to be nitpicky...
Willow: No you don't.
Jonas: ...But that should be a question mark.
"Sure. I'm certain I've got the coordinates right this time."
"You'd better."
A few hours later....
The ships opened.....
"AHHH! Earth at last!"
"This ISN'T Earth."
"WHERE IN THE COSMOS ARE WE NOOOOOWWWWW?!!!!!!!"
TO BE CONTINUED.....
Willow: Sounds interesting.
Jonas: At the very least, I'd like to find out where the whole Rei/Ryoga
thing is going.
Willow: Keep it going!
Jonas: So, until later...
W & J: See ya!
<the lights in the cave fade...>
this was my first MST. well, my first one posted to the FFML, at least.
any comments welcome.
elsetime,
nem0
Mr. O'Neil: Let's all pledge to help make Daria's dream come true!
Daria: You mean the one where people walking down the street burst into
flames?
visit the newly renovated DreamLand!
<=http://www.angelfire.com/mt/dland/index.html=>
kiss the ground, run my fingers through the earth... yes, it feels so good
to be alive... -- Luscious Jackson