[The theater is dark, concealing everything except the silhouettes of
two heads. A female voice is giggling, and making other noises
of...amusement. Another voice of indeterminate gender is whispering,
far too quietly to understand. The lights suddenly come up, and we
see that the two figures are Lurker and Hikaru. The two yelp, and
suddenly pull apart from one another, quickly enough that all traces
of what they were doing before are gone before the lights are fully
on. Hikaru's face is the same color as her hair, and Lurker's not in
much better shape.]

Lurker: Ahem. Ah, yes, well...let's see....ah! Look, Hikaru-chan!
It's a fic!

Hikaru: <nods> Yes, yes, it's definitely a fic.

Lurker: <chuckles nervously> That's right, a fic. Well...

Hikaru: Maybe we should *read* the fic? 

Lurker: <nods, grinning sheepishly> Hai, hai, let's do that.
<collecting himself> Well, since we've already reviewed the first
half of this, let's skip to the new sections...

<massive ssssssnnnniiiiiiipppppp>

With seven Senshi, four Shieldsmen, and three chi-wielding martial

artists

in residence, the life of a practice dummy in the palace was a lot

like

that of a peasant in the middle ages - that is, nasty, brutish, and

short.

Lurker: You left out piss-poor.

Hikaru: <giggle>

"He was a pretty cold fish for a guy who is supposed to like us,"

Ranma

said snidely, and then faltered under Urd's deadly glare.  "Gomen,"

he said

lamely.

Lurker: Amazing. Ranma's almost learned when to keep his trap shut.

Urd walked over to the pile of debris and picked up a piece of

crystal. 

Hikaru: Crystal?

Lurker: What else would they make practice dummies out of in Crystal
Tokyo?

Hikaru: ...point.

Shrugging, Ranma walked up to the dummy and gathered a ball of chi

into his

hands.  "Moko Myaku Dan," he said softly, as if reciting a mantra. 

The

ball in his hands began to pulse with light, throwing off small

balls of

chi that flew into the dummy and blasted it apart.  Wielding the

stream

like a hose, Ranma turned the dummy into dust in moments.

Lurker, Hikaru: <clapclap>

The men stared at the statue Urd had created in silence, and didn't

turn as

she suddenly chuckled.  "I've said enough for now, boys, I think

you're

going to have some explaining to do."  The men turned and saw three

very

angry Senshi standing near the door.  Urd nodded to the women as

she walked

out.

Lurker: Uh-oh!

"Ranma-kun," Hotaru said calmly, the fire in her eyes belying the

steady

tone of her voice.  "Who exactly is Akane?"

"And Kaori?" Minako added, glaring at Andrew.

Ami walked up and locked eyes with Tarou, and it was all he could

do to

avoid flinching.  "Yes, Tarou-kun, who is Ukyo?"

Hikaru: <wince> They're in for some pain...

Lurker: <nod>

"Is my Usako feeling sorry for herself again?" Endymion asked,

coming up

behind his wife and wrapping his arms around her.  Serenity smiled

lightly

and snuggled into his embrace, making small noises of contentment.

<Hikaru shifts uncomfortably>

Endymion reluctantly released his wife and turned to the newcomer. 

"Why

Usagi?" he asked sharply.  "Why is she the only one you can trust

in this

matter?  There are a score of people whom are better trained and

more able.

 Why must our daughter be the one put at risk?"

Hikaru: <Belldandy voice> Because it's a convenient plot device.

Lurker: <snicker>

"You don't remember it because it..." Belldandy began, then frowned

in

concentration,"...because it has not yet happened."  She grimaced

in

distaste.  "I suddenly understand why Oniichan hates temporal

mechanics. 

Mortal languages don't have quite the right tenses for it."  

Lurker: No kidding.

"Figures," Belldandy muttered under her breath, yet the other two

heard her

words anyway.  "She takes credit for OUR work."  She raised her

voice to

speak to the monarchs.  "There is a second reason.  Simply by

virtue of her

being there, she makes this future more likely." She looked

knowingly at

the couple.  "I distinctly remember two people becoming MUCH closer

upon

finding out a particular pink-haired angel was their daughter." 

Her

statement was rewarded by a pair of blushes.

Hikaru: <giggle>

Endymion put his hand to his forehead, he felt a headache coming. 

"I still

don't like this, Belldandy-sama," he insisted.  "I don't want her

going

back to the past alone again."

Belldandy smiled slyly.  "Oh, I wouldn't say she's going to be

ALONE..."

Lurker: Aha! 

"We destroyed them," Skuld whispered, and her voice grew thick with
emotion.  "We just wanted to play a centennial birthday joke on

Chris.  You

know, turn Rachel's hair purple, or play around with Ami's

measurements. 

They were Valkyries then, it should have been easy.  But we didn't

count on

a bug showing up.  It attacked the process we were running during

the final

write.  Instead of writing the data changes...it erased the files."

Lurker: I still say that's a hell of a cruel thing to do just as a
birthday prank.

Hikaru: <nods>

Washu gasped in horror.  "Dear Kami-sama," she breathed.

Ayeka and Ryoko exchanged looks of confusion.  "Erasing the files

is bad?"

Ryoko asked.

"Yes," Washu replied.  "Was they did was beyond death, they..."

Lurker: Ack! "What they did"... (How did I miss that earlier?)

"We wiped their souls out of existence," Skuld overrode her

angrily, but

her anger was directed at herself.  "And Chris saw it happen.  He

saw them

just..disappear."  She paused, and her voice was a whisper.  "Chris

seemed

to take it well.  He grieved for their loss and moved on, or so we

thought.

 It was almost a decade later that we found out he was trying to

reboot

Yggdrasil."

Lurker: If anyone makes even the *slightest* Win95 joke about
this...<eyes flash purple>

Hikaru: <giggle>

"He couldn't have!" Washu yelled.  "Rebooting Yggdrasil would cause
Ragnarok, and everything would have ended..." she trailed off as
realization hit her.  "He was trying to commit suicide."  Ryoko

shook her

head in negation, and Ayeka made a small sound of dismay.

Lurker: And genocide, and deicide, and solicide, and galacticide, and
every other kind of 'cide...

Hikaru: <nod>

"Hey, Skuld, have you seen Ami?"  Chris asked, walking into the

room

followed by the taller of the Valkyries.  "She's hiding on me

again."  He

noticed the others in the room staring at him and began to fidgit. 

"What?"

Lurker: Another one I missed earlier. "fidget". 

 Not getting any response, he shrugged and grabbed the Valkyrie by

the

shoulders, and have her a long, deep kiss.  After a moment, he

released

her.

Hikaru: <giggle>

The woman gasped for breath, and looked at him with a little shock,

her

dark brown hair a bit disheveled.  Since the armor she was wearing

was

little more than a chainmail bikini, it was clear she was

developing a full

body blush.  "What was that for?"

Hikaru: <glares at Lurker> 

Lurker: What...?

Hikaru: Just in case you're thinking of saying something hentai,
don't.

Lurker: <shrugs> I wasn't going to say anything. <slow grin> Other
than...

Hikaru: <groans> Other than *what*?

Lurker: <evil grin> Other than I just got the perfect idea for a
Christmas present for you...

Hikaru: <blinks> Wha--? <eyes widen> ... <deep blush>

Lurker: <chuckle>

"My mother?" Ayeka wondered, and then the frowned.  "One moment,

wasn't

Lurker: Gah...lose the "the" in there.

"So Skuld," Ryoko began, a grin on her face.  "Which one is you?"

"Ami," Skuld said, and blushed.

Lurker: Kinda gives a whole new meaning to the term 'incest', doesn't
it?

Hikaru: <giggle>

"Now for the important question," Ryoko continued.  "Is he any good

in

bed?"

Lurker, Hikaru: <ROFL!>

"Wait a second!" Kesshu yelled.  He banished his terminal and

turned to his

brothers.  "I'll help you on one condition."  At the two men's

quizzical

look, he got a manic grin on his face.

"If you wouldn't mind, PLEAASE," he whined in a childish voice,

"call me

Oniichan?"

Lurker: Yep...he's definitely got some of his mother's
characteristics...

"Sure," Kesshu said, and called over Akuma's shoulder. 

"Christopher-sama,

can we go with Usagi-hime?"  Akuma dropped Kesshu and whirled

around, to

stare in shock at the smirking god.  A few feet away, Toraneko was

sitting

on the floor, helpless with giggles.

Lurker: Heh, poor girl...she's gonna split a side if she keeps that
up.

Hikaru: <giggle>

Lurker: <groans> It's an epedemic...

"You know, I'm going to hate to see how you five resolve this love

tangle,"

he said with a sigh.  "Why not?  I'd have to beat you off with a

stick

anyway."  He held up his hand to forestall Toraneko's thanks.  "I

will warn

you, it may be harder on you than it is on the others.  As far as I
remember, your mother can barely speak during the periods you will

be

visiting."

"That's all right," Toraneko replied cheerily as she ran off.  "I

speak

Cabbit!"

Lurker: <snicker>

Hikaru: <giggle>

"The timeline WILL be changing," Chris explained while the

goddesses

chanted.  "This will make the adjustment easier on you.  Instead of

just

having your memories re-written, which some of you may have already
discovered is a rather unpleasant experience, you can watch their

actions,

and you will 'remember' things as they change."  The image on the

floor

snapped into focus and the goddesses slumped.  "Now, we watch."

Lurker: And that's the end of the prologue! 

Hikaru: Good work, God-boy-kun!

Lurker: <nods> Very good job. Till next time!

<the lights fade out. After a moment, the hushed sounds from before
begin again. The sounds abruptly stop, and a violet glow erupts from
the center of the theater.>

Lurker: WILL YOU GET LOST ALREADY! <the violet glow fades out, as
does everything else>

--------------------------------------------------------------------
You know you're eating at a bad Italian restaurant 
when there's something Roman in your meal.
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/9502

Atama karappo no hou ga yume-tsume komeru
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