After reading "Quentin Tarantino's Ranma 1/2"  at work while 
allegedly fixing bugs :) for the x-dozen'th-time, I came up with this 
Reservoir Dogs spoof scene a while back. I may or may not use it, so 
in case I don't, here it is...



Meanwhile, at a nearby coffee shop, five men were engaged in 
conversation.

"But what's wrong with the Flash version?" asked Mr. Black.

"I don't like the new character designs," replied Mr. Green. "The old
Kei and Yuri were much better."

Mr. Red cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but what was I saying?"

"You were saying that Sailor Moon was horribly mangled during
adaptation for American TV, but that Bastard was a metaphor for
deadbeat dads," Mr. Purple reminded him.

"Oh, yeah. Anyway, this wizard guy's lived for centuries, and he's
been sleeping with chicks left and right. Chicks chicks chicks chicks
chicks chicks chicks," said Mr. Red.

"How many chicks is that?" asked Mr. Purple.

"A *lot*," said Mr. Green.

"And you know that evil sorcerors don't bother with birth control, so
he's been leaving kids lying around all over the place," continued Mr.
Red. "He's been creating life, like God. But he's been destroying them
emotionaly by leaving them in the dark about who their dad is. Hence,
'Bastard! Destructive God of Darkness.'"

The rest of the men stared at him and shook their heads.

"Have you guys been watching the Speed Racer reruns on Cartoon Network
lately?" asked Mr. Yellow.

"I *love* that show," said Mr. Black. "The last part of the Alpine
Race, with the Car Acrobatic Team, was on yesterday."

"Oh, yeah, I watched it, too," agreed Mr. Green. "You know, I didn't
realize until that episode, that Racer X is Speed's older brother."

"What?" asked Mr. Yellow. "They only say it every *five minutes* or
so!"

"Look, I said, I didn't *know*!" responded Mr. Green.

"Alright," said Mr. Black. "Everybody chip in so we can rent the new
Ranma tape tonight."

Everyone but Mr. Red put down fifty cents.

"What's wrong?" asked Mr. Black, looking at him.

"I don't watch dubs," responded Mr. Red. "Especially crap by Viz."

"He don't watch dubs," repeated Mr. Black in disbelief.

Mr. Yellow's face got angry, and he pointed his finger at Mr. Red.
"Now, look. Dubs offer the maximum profit for video tape rental
stores, encouraging them to stock more titles and increasing
mainstream exposure of anime. And they're more accessible to
entry-level fans."

"You see this?" asked Mr. Red, pointing at his face. "This is the
river of tears I'm crying just for the video stores. And as far as
that 'accessibility' crap goes, I've got four words: learn to fuckin'
read subtitles."

"You don't watch *any* dubs?" asked Mr. Purple.

"OK, if it's a *good* dub, and they don't trash the script, and the
voice actors really put some effort into it, I'll watch it," answered
Mr. Red. "But what I won't do, is play ball."

The bald man walked up to the table and looked at the pile of coins.
"Who didn't chip in?" he demanded.

"Mr. Red. He doesn't watch dubs."

"You don't watch dubs?"

"I don't watch dubs," said Mr. Red.

"We're watching it at my house! You'll watch what I say!"

Mr. Red grudgingly produced a pair of quarters and placed them on the
table. "OK, since we're watching it at your place, I'll put in. But
ordinarily I wouldn't do this."

"Never mind what you *ordinarily* do!" growled the bald man. "Now,
let's go to work."

"What about the tip?" asked Mr. Green.


Hassheen!