Okay, folks, this is the only salvageable thing I found in my cancel
folder. 
I gotta tell ya...Homeward Bound it ain't.
And anyone who catches the fic reference in this one wins a cookie. 

Anyone who wants to take this and continue it, be my guest. Alter it
any way you want, continue it any way you want. I think it's obvious
what's meant to happen, though. ^_^

Prologue

 Ryouga had no desire to be anywhere near Nerima anymore.

 It had started off as an ordinary enough lazy summer evening.
Finally making it back to town, Ryouga had taken the first
opportunity to turn into a pig, and managed to find his way into the
Tendou dojo and up to Akane's room without getting lost too much. The
door was locked, so he had needed to come in through the window,
which he found with only another fifteen minutes of searching.
 As he approached the partially open window, he had heard noises from
inside, as if from a fight. He charged through the open window,
prepared to scratch and bite at whoever was hurting Akane. He was
completely unprepared for the sight that met him, however.
 Akane was on her bed. This in itself was normal. What wasn't normal
was the fact that Ranma was also on Akane's bed. Ryouga's eyes
widened and his snout threatened to explode as he watched them kiss
passionately, realized they were both naked, saw their bodies moving,
trying to melt together, saw Ranma sroking Akane's...
 Ryouga turned, jumped out the window, and got the hell out of there.

 Now he wandered the streets aimlessly, still in pig form, not
knowing or really caring where he wound up. Eventually he found
himself on some wet grass, slipping and sliding towards a river. He
scrambled to gain purchase but it wasn't happening, and he was
introduced to high-speed transit via water, without benefit of a
watercraft.


 Shampoo landed her bicycle on the fence as usual that morning, ready
to meet her future husband on his way to school.
 "Nihao Ranma! Take Shampoo to date today yes?"
 Something was wrong. Shampoo could sense it. As usual, the tomboy
was glaring. But at HER, not at Ranma. Usually she glared at him or
at both of them.  Today Shampoo was the only one being impaled on her
eyes. 
 She also noticed with a start that Ranma had just flung her off of
him, and she was lying on her butt on the sidewalk. "Aiyah! Ranma,
what you do that for?"
 Ranma's voice was glacial. "Go away, Shampoo. I'm sick and tired of
you."
 "What husband talking?" Shampoo narrowed her eyes. "Violent girl put
spell on Shampoo husband! Shampoo kill!" She charged Akane. The next
thing she knew, Ranma had landed on her head and was driving her into
the pavement.
 Akane reached down and picked her up by her hair, and growled into
her face, "Listen, bimbo. Ranma is NOT yours. Got it? Do us all a
favor and die or something!" With that, she brandished her
dimension-hopping implement of doom, known to most as Akane's Mallet,
and with a golf swing, sent Shampoo into the river running along the
other side of the fence.

 Shampoo was unconscious for most of her trip downstream. When she
came to she realized she was freezing, soaked, a cat, and more
importantly, moving swiftly towards...somewhere. Someplace FAR away.
"Not THIS again," Shampoo growled to herself. The last time she'd
been in this situation she'd had to fight for her life
alongside...she didn't want to think about that. That had been a very
strange time in her life.
 She sighed and hoped the water ride would end soon.

 Chapter 1: Homeward Bound? Not Likely

 Even in his state of depression and dolor, Ryouga had to be proud of
his resourcefulness. Upon finally washing ashore at the river's
outlet, he'd managed to find enough dry driftwood scattered on the
tiny piece of beach, and dragged it all into a pile behind some
rocks. After doing so, he realized there was no way in hell he could
light a fire. Then he decided to see if maybe he could channel his
chi, and try a porcine variation of the shishihoukoudan. 
 He was more than depressed enough for it, and now there was a
fair-sized, cheery campfire blazing merrily before him.
Unfortunately, he hadn't found anything to make a shelter out of, or
anything he could heat water in, but he decided that anything he got
right was a small victory.
 He'd been warming himself by his fire for about three hours when
something else washed up on the beach. Curious, he went over to have
a look. The new arrival dragged itself to four feet, shook out a lot
of excess water, and dragged itself up the beach a short distance. It
was still too far away for him to know what it was. He called out,
"Hey! You need some help?"
 The figure turned, and replied in a cat's voice, "Who's there?"
 Ryouga trotted in the direction of the cat. "C'mon over here, I've
got a warm fire..." 
 The cat shot him a strange look. "A fire? You're a pig."
 "Yeah well, I'm a...a very smart pig." He got close enough now to
have a good look at the cat. It was a female, and she had white fur
tinged lavender, with purple fur on her paws and head. She looked
familiar...
 The cat shook her head and laughed. "Whatever. Look, I gotta get
moving. That damn river took me a LONG way from home, and I don't
want great-grandmother to worry any more than she has to."
 "Great-grandmother?" Ryouga frowned. That sounded familiar...then he
placed the cat. "Sh--Shampoo!?"
 Shampoo looked up, startled, snapping her head around. Then she
realized it was the pig who had said her name. Moving in closer, she
took a good look at the black piglet, with the distinctive
bandana..."Ryouga?"
 Ryouga nodded. "Yeah, it's me...what the heck are you doing way out
here Shampoo?"
 Shampoo's head dropped. "The damn tomboy knocked me into the river."
 Ryouga flinched visibly at that. Then he recovered and said, "C'mon,
you're soaking wet. You're gonna get a cold and die if you don't warm
up." Amazingly, he managed to lead her right back to his little fire.

 Shampoo was impressed to say the least. "How on earth did you build
a fire without changing back?" she asked.
 Ryouga grinned. "Let's just say the shishihoukoudan comes in handy
for more than blowing people away," he said. Shampoo raised a feline
eyebrow at that.
 "You can DO the roaring lion bullet in that form?" 
 Ryouga nodded. "Yeah, but I have to be more depressed than usual to
pull it off."
 "Oh." She frowned. "So...you're really depressed...what happened?"
 Ryouga sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it." Then he looked up.
"So Akane beat you up? I didn't think she was good enough to knock
you out."
 "She isn't. She had help." Ryouga shot her a curious glance. Shampoo
heaved a sigh, and flattened her ears back. "I don't want to talk
about it."
 Ryouga couldn't help but chuckle dryly. "Gods, we sound almost alike
today don't we?"
 Shampoo raised her head. "Actually, yeah. That's kinda scary." With
that, she laid her head back down and drifted off to sleep. Ryouga
wasn't far behind her in dozing off.

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You know you're eating at a bad Italian restaurant 
when there's something Roman in your meal.
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/9502

Atama karappo no hou ga yume-tsume komeru
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