[A mysterious figure, dressed in all black, is huddled up in front of the
computer, hacking and coughing.  The figure sighs]

David (blowing his nose):  I ended my girlfriend's ban on dates by
finishing 'The Second Charlotte Cup' for her, and now I've got the flu or
something.  (sighs again) I guess I have nothing better to do than review
fanfics- maybe do my first MST... Hmm, Lord Archive released something, and
he MST's my work, so let's return the favor.  Can't do this alone, however,
so lets bring in some people who won't be too worried about catching my
cold.  [With a flash of blinding light, Ranma and Akane appear suddenly. 
They are kissing.  Akane, who's gi top is open and half off, is loosening
the drawstring on Ranma's pants, who's red silk shirt is unbuttoned and
half off as well.  David blinked.]  Ahem...

[Ranma and Akane quickly seperate, fixing their clothes before David can
blink.]

Akane (tying her gi closed):  Kuso!  (looking up)  Who are you?  What's
going on here?

Ranma (studying David intently):  Wait a minute... didn't you write 'The
Second Charlotte Cup?'

David:  Uh... yeah.

Ranma:  WHY DID YOU BRING US HERE, BAKA!  WE WERE ON OUR HONEYMOON!

David (gulping):  Er... you were on your honeymoon?

Akane (blushing):  Well, you never wrote one for us... so we kinda decided
to have one on our own.

David (apologetic tone):  Uh, sorry... I didn't think you'd be... uh...
busy.

Ranma:  Well, you killed the mood, so we might as well do whatever you were
bringing us here to do, anyways.

David:  Well, I figured I'd get you two to help me review this chapter of
Lord Archive's 'The Insanity Continues' fic.  After all, he got you two to
review my 'The Second Charlotte Cup.'

Ranma (brow furrowed):  Wait a minute... Why are you reviewing this? 
Didn't you preread this story for him?

David:  Uh, yeah... but I haven't seen how it came out yet...

Akane (grabbing Ranma's shoulder):  Okay, we'll help you out.

David:  Thanks... I think I'll brink a couple of others here, too, though-
just for fun.  [Another blinding flash of light appears, and Desaix,
heavily bandaged, and Buriko, in her more modest outfit, appear]

Desaix:  Huh?  Why are we here?

Ranma:  You're here to help us review a fanfic.

David:  Yeah.  Well, I figured that, since I have no future plans for the
world I placed you two in, Dez, that I'd get you and Buriko to become my
full-time reviewing partners. [David shrugs] But we've spent enough time
here- lets get to the fic.

Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues

Ranma (grabbing his head):  Please, make it stop!  I've had enough insanity
in my life!

Akane (massaging Ranma's back):  Relax, Ranma.  Its just the title- how bad
could it be?  [David gulps]

The series may be considered lemon scented as it will have some
references to certain characters having sex 'off screen' and fair amount
of sexual innuendoes. Actual descriptions of sexual acts will be kept in
side stories, and will not be necessary to read. (A message will appear
where the scene(s) take place.)

Ranma:  Lemon-scented?  Hmm...

Akane (thwapping him lightly):  Hentai.

Characters are copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi, Viz Video, and a bunch of
other companies and are being used without permission. I am only
borrowing them. I will return them. (Well, maybe not Ukyou ;)

Ranma:  What are you doing with Ukyo, anyway, Lord Archive?

------------------------------
Akane's Diary Entry for:
Thursday, January 7th.

Dear Diary,
	That baka still won't say it. It's been a month since the bombed
wedding, and he still hasn't told me that he loves me. I know he does,
diary, but why he can't admit it? I'm not going to tell him how I feel
until he does. 
	The jerk still protects me like I'm some porcelain doll, and it
annoys me to no end! So what if I nearly died twice in China, he thinks I
can't protect myself. I can take care of myself. He didn't have to stop

Buriko (vehement):  What is it with men thinking they have to be our
guardians all of the time?  Sexist pigs, all of them!

David, Ranma, and Desaix:  Um...

Kuno for me this morning, I can do that all by my self. But it does say
one thing about him though... he cares about me.
	I just wish I could get some time alone with Ranma and be able to
talk about our relationship. I doubt it will happen, though, as someone
always interrupts us.

Ranma:  Isn't that the truth?  Whenever Akane and I get a moment alone
together, our parents burst in, or a fiancee attacked, or an idiotic fanfic
author grabs us and transports us to his world...

David:  Erk!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 - The Gem.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Small snip]

As a soaked panda goes to his seat, Kasumi entered with breakfast,
asking, "Does anyone know where Happosai is? I haven't seen him in days."

"Maybe he finally decide to leave us," replied a hopeful Soun.

"Naa, the old freak tried to grope me yesterday morning. So I tossed him
into a bag, attached some rocks, and chucked him into the river," offered
a somewhat smug and yet sore Ranma.

Buriko (pulling out a Mallet o'Chi):  How dare you hurt Happosai-chan,
Ranma!

[Buriko attempts to smash Ranma, but is blocked by Akane.]

Akane:  HEY!  I'm the only one who gets to mallet Ranma!

Desaix (looking curiously at Buriko):  Besides, I thought you were over
Happy!

Buriko:  Uh, well, that was a powerful potion he put me under.  I don't
think I'm completely over it yet...  [smiles at Desaix]  You are helping,
though, Dez-chan...  though I CAN think of ways you could make it go
faster...

David (looking at Buriko curiously):  Which form are you in, anyway? 
[Buriko smiles slyly]

[snip]
 

Ranma turned around to see his fiancée "A..A..Ak..Akane, wh..what
happened to your clothes?" Ranma asked and quickly began examining the
floor to avoid looking at her.

"IIIIIIIEEEEE!" screamed a very embarrassed Akane.  She noticed that
Ranma was naked as well... though, unlike her, he was doing his best not
to peep.  <At least the pervert has the decency to look away!> she

Ranma (to Akane):  And you call ME a hentai?

Akane (innocently):  I never said you were more of a hentai than I am...
[thinking] besides, it isn't really me...

Ranma was still looking away. "I guess so... um, do you have any idea of
how to get out of here?" He closed his eyes. <I don't need this... I'm
trapped, with no clue how to escape from here. I hope Akane doesn't
think I'm some pervert that wants to take advantage of this situation.> 

Akane:  Right now, I don't think I'd mind... [Ranma blushed]

Buriko:  You're starting to sound like my B.B. form, Akane!

(snip)

She moved toward him. "Ranma?" she began.

"What?"

"I don't think your fists are enough to get us out of here. I guess we
are just going to have to be patient, and wait for them to get us out of
here."

Ranma:  What?  Akane, you're asking me to rely on our PARENTS to get us out
of here?

Akane (embarassed):  Well, this isn't ME, this is an alternate me...

Ranma's voice filled with frustration, "I can't just sit here and wait." 

"We don't have a choice. If you can't break this out of here, no one
can."

Ranma:  Wow!  You really think that way about me, Akane?

Akane (thinking):  I guess he just isn't getting it- this ISN'T me...
[sighs][speaking] Don't let it go to your head, Ranma.

"I hate being trapped."

"I don't like it either, but it is only temporary. We can take this time
and talk alone, without fear of someone barging in or trying to listen
in. And if you don't resort to name calling, I won't hit you."

David:  What?  Ranma CAN avoid calling Akane names?

Ranma:  Hey!

<It wouldn't hurt to try to talk to her. If I can keep from insulting
her, I might get out this unhurt,> Ranma thought, finally answered, "I
guess we could talk. Uh, what do we talk about?"

David:  What, you honestly think that Akane won't take something you say
the wrong way and bash you anyway?

Akane:  Hey!

"Do you like your life?" Akane asked.

Desaix:  Akane, when did you become a philosopher?  [Akane sighs]

Ranma cocked his head, though he still kept his eyes off of Akane's
nudity. "What kind of decisions?"

Akane (getting angry):  What, don't like what you see?

Ranma:  Er... [thinking] Is there any answer I can give that won't get me
pounded?

Desaix:  Hey, Ranma was just trying to be polite!

[snip]

Ranma thought, <She hasn't asked me to choose between her and Ukyou. I
don't know how to choose between them. Ukyou is a good friend and I like
her a lot... I'd rather be with Akane, though. But is Akane better off
with me? I seem to make her angry all the time, and all I want to do is
make her happy. Why does she have to take my jokes so seriously? Maybe
if...>

Akane (teasingly):  Oh, I'm pretty sure my life is better off without you,
Ranma... but that doesn't matter.  I love you anyways!  (hugs Ranma as
everyone else laughs)

Ranma (thinking):  'My life is better off without you?'  Ouch!

[snip]

Akane smiled, "Well, I suppose I can understand that.  Maybe... maybe I
can help explain.  Love is... love is... well, love is when you can't
imagine what life is like without him or her. If you can imagine it, you
feel an extreme pain in your soul. When you think of the future, you
think of being with the person you love. Um... otherwise, it's a hard to
describe. It's sort of an odd feeling. You feel you need to be with the
person, to help them, to support them, make them happy when they're sad.
Um... does anything I say make sense?"

Ranma looked at the floor, saying meekly, "In a way it does. I guess
Ucchan really is in love with me." 

Akane frowned, "Do you love her?" 

"If she were to leave, I would miss her terribly, but it is not to hard
to imagine not having her around. I might be, I don't know."

"What about Shampoo?"

"Part of me would be glad to see her go, but I would miss her also. But,
I guess I don't."

"Kodachi?"

"Hell no! I even told her that I not only didn't love but I didn't even
like her."

"What about m-me?" Akane asked nervously.

"Um..."

<Maybe... maybe if I give him a hint at how I feel... he'll finally tell
me,> she thought. "Well," Akane hesitated, "I'll... tell you something.
I... I... I have trouble thinking of life without you.  Can... can...
well, can you imaging life without me?"


"Yeah...a dull, boring and lonely one," Ranma said carelessly.

Desaix:  In that case, may you live in interesting times, Ranma.

David:  Isn't that a Chinese curse?

Desaix (smiling):  Yep.  And, considering Akane, I'll bet it'll become a
Japanese curse before too long.

Akane:  Buriko, may I?  [Buriko nods]  DESAIX NO BAKA!  [Akane Chi-Mallets
Desaix]

[snip]

"Yeah, but of course someone would have made their presence known to us
before we got around to talking about love."

Akane jokingly added, "Our dads falling through the door..."

Ranma continued, laughing, "Or Nabiki's microphone short circuiting,.." 

Akane laughed, "Or Kuno challenging you or begging us for dates..."

"Ryoga screaming, DIE Ranma..."

Akane:  Or a fanfic writing pulling us away from her honeymoon...

David:  Look, I said I was sorry- what more do you want me to do?

Ranma:  Nabiki owes us a favor or two, still... maybe she can give us some
suggestions...

David:  Urk...

[snip]

"He can't be P-Chan... I was joking, but... but..." she said as the idea
of one of her friends and her pet being one and the same started to form
into her head. When the connections were made, she screams, "MY GOD! Why
didn't I notice it before! The bandanna! That stupid bandanna. All the
times he transformed near me and I didn't notice... wouldn't let myself
notice."  She proceeded to stare at the floor for the next several
minutes. Ranma looked at her with a lot of  concern and was more than a
little afraid she might carry out her threat.

Desaix:  Yes, why didn't you notice the bandanna before, Akane?

Akane:  Urm...

[snip]

"I don't know," he mused, "Maybe more fiancées, he's pissed off some
demon that wants revenge, or some family curse. You know stuff that if I
found out about, I would pound him into the ground for."

Akane:  And I married into your family?  What am I in for?

Ranma:  Well, I was kinda hoping I married into yours...

David:  You two married into each others family, so any curses or demons
seeking revenge will be after you, regardless.

[snip]

Akane screeched, "Days! I hope not, what do we do about food."

Ranma calmly replied, "I doubt we have to worry about that."

"Why?"

"I'm not hungry. If we've been here hours, I should be hungry, but I'm
not."

Akane:  Ranma?!  Not Hungry?  Is that possible?

Ranma:  Hey!

[snip]

She smiled, thinking, <I can't believe this is happening. He's told me
that he loves me. ME! We even set the wedding date." She pinched herself
and she continued her thoughts, "It is not a dream!" She looked down onto
herself and had another thought, "Hmm... We're alone, naked, and no where
to go... this sounds like a plot our fathers would come up with to
attempt to get me and Ranma to have sex... That doesn't sound like such a
bad idea. I've fantasized about doing this for some time now. Why
shouldn't we have sex? We love each other and we're engaged. I know he is
at least some what into the mood.> She glanced over at him with a devious
grin. A muted part of her mind wondered if Happosai's stay in this prison
had any part of her current line of thought.

Ranma:  You've fantasized about me, Akane?

Akane (quietly):  Er... yeah...

Akane shock her head, thinking, <Guess I have to be as subtle as an
Amazon.> She sighed, "Think Ranma. As I said before: we're alone, naked,
and have no where to go. The trigger might for us... to... um... have
s-sex."

Buriko:  Hmm, if so, I think my B.B. form might like that stone, when you
two are done with it... [Akane and Ranma blush, Desaix frowns]  I think she
might wanna use it on ol' Dez-chan over here!

[Buriko chucks Desaix under the chin.  Desaix blushes]

"You can't be serious!?" Ranma screeched in shock.

She looked down and meekly said, "I-I am serious, besides we're
officially engaged now, our parents have absolutely no objections what so
ever to us doing it."

"This is not how I planned on this happening. I wanted it to be more...
special."

"Just doing it with you makes it special for me," she said with a grin as
she moved closer to Ranma.

David, Desaix, and Buriko:  Aww!  [Ranma and Akane blush even deeper]

[small snip]

"D-Did we really do it?" Ranma stammered.

"Do what? Profess love to each other, set a wedding date, or have sex?"
she asked with a grin.

"Um, all of those," Ranma answered. He wasn't sure that this was some
dream.

She hugged him tightly and answered, "Yes, yes, and yes!" She said each
'yes,' with more enthusiasm, and hugged him even tighter.

Ranma:  What!  You mean we're reviewing a fic where I and Akane have...
before we even... and we haven't yet outside of this fic?!

David:  Um, well... sorry.  This chapter's almost over, and then you two
can head back to your honeymoon and...

Akane:  Shut up and lets get on with it.

"Well I know a couple ways of distracting you from thinking about being
trapped in here." Akane grinned devilish.

Buriko:  If you run out, Akane, I can give you some... [Desaix and David
laugh as Ranma and Akane blush]

Thanks to Brent T Neef, David A Tatum, and Rea Konecki for pre-reading
this story. If you also want to be subjected to bad really bad grammar
(Akane's cooking bad) and help me with the future chapters as a

Ranma(jokingly):  Hey, Akane's cooking isn't that bad!

David:  I dunno if that's complementing Akane's cooking, or insulting Lord
Archives grammar.  But you forget, Ranma, that Akane cooked something you
liked in 'The Second Charlotte Cup.'

Ranma (looking at Akane glowing):  Uh... well... of course... that's...
what... I... meant... originally... Akane has improved to the point where
its even better than his grammar...

Desaix:  You know, that could still be a bit insulting... to Akane...

Ranma:  Uh... uh... I didn't mean... Its just that... Oh, just hit me now! 
[Akane pulls out her Mallet o'Chi and flattens him]  Ohhh...

David:  For your sake, Akane, I hope he recovers from that quickly...

Akane:  Why?

David:  Because I'm done reviewing, and so you two are heading back to your
honeymoon...

[In a blinding flash, all the anime characters disappear]