Nikholas F. Toledo Zu
presents
A Spur of the Moment Fanfic
by Nikholas 'Rain Man' F. Toledo:
The Adventures of Mousse - God of Thunder!!!
Note: Ah-HA!!! Someone pointed out a boo-boo that I made in the teaser.
Ahem, ahem, that line "Trunks was puzzled" should read "Mousse was
puzzled." Switch and I had just finished breakfast after a late-night
semi-writer's workshop, and we were both kinda groggy while I whipped up
the idea of the 'fic. Actually, it was based on some ideas we came up
with while discussing 'Switch' (by Switch, of course) involving our
favorite ultra-short-sighted master of hidden weaponry. Some of my
suggestions were, how should I put it... slightly less than sober =P
and they didn't really fit into the frame of 'Switch.' So, I thought,
"Hmm... gee, what could I write about Mousse... Ah-HAH." And well, the
rest followed naturally. Now, there were a few things brought up in a
letter sent to me in response. Thanks again! You know who you are.
'Nyway, a question that arose: why hadn't Mousse seen Akane's mallet
technique before? Well, dear people, if you read the manga or watch the
anime, you will notice that she doesn't use her patented hammer of
justice thingee on Ranma nearly as often as you may be led to believe by
reading lots of the Ranma fanfics or watching the movies. In addition,
even if she did use it that often (which, I repeat, she didn't - more
often it was her foot or her fist), just how often do you see Mousse at
the Tendo dojo, eh? I mean in the manga or anime. Anyhow, I hope that
cleared up any questions about why Mousse was suddenly depressed upon
witnessing her do it.
Ah, heh-heh... um. Also, I realize that it's been a long while
since the teaser was released. <Shrug>. Been busy. What can I say?
And NOW.... On with the SHOW:
Part 3 (Yup, part 3): So now you're a God...
"I can't believe it. I still LOST. Saotome must have cheated
somehow..."
The tall, stately, dusky-skinned woman sighed. "Of course he
did..."
"You don't believe me?" Despair etched his face in harsh lines.
There were lines and shadows now that weren't there the first time she'd
seen him. "Oh, what's the use? I'll never beat him. I'll never win
Shampoo's hand. What's the use of being a god..." He turned a
suspicious eye on her as he spoke, "if I even really am one..."
She sighed again, pushing her almost silver mane of long, lustrous
white hair behind her shoulders. Her voice was a little slow, the
boredom in it dragging at the syllables - as though she'd repeated this
many times before. "Yes, Mousse, you are indeed a god now. The computer
said so, and what it says, goes. You have the programming code in the
hammer - your sigil. We're not quite sure how it happened. But you
really are one, and you'll just have to trust us on that. When you
notice everyone else around you aging and growing old, and you still look
exactly like you do now, you won't have any choice but to believe."
"So YOU say. I'm not even sure you're a goddess. Why should I
believe you?" He threw his arms up in the air, accidentally launching: a
spray of flowers, a couple of old ball-pens, a candy bar hardened from
ancient times, and a tin of sardines. "Oops..." He scrambled to pick up
the mess. "I mean, come on! Just last week, I thought you were just
some new shopkeeper selling herbs and spices!"
"Oh, it's too early in the day for this," she groaned. She was
still nursing a hangover from the night before. "Look, do you want to
come with me to Heaven for a first-hand tour? Or do you want to try
going there yourself? You could, you know."
Mousse stared at the ground and scuffed his cloth shoes against the
floor. One doesn't get invited to Heaven on a daily basis, but... "I
can't. I've gotta watch over Shampoo and make sure Ranma doesn't get his
claws on her."
She smacked her head. "I've been watching you watching THEM. He's
not interested, you moron! And if she's interested in him, what business
is it of yours?"
"But I LOVE her..."
"Stop whining!" She waved towards Ukyo. "Hey over there!"
Ukyo came over, a puzzled expression on her face. "Yes?"
"Let's have some sake here for my friend and myself."
"Uh, I don't sell..."
"Of course you don't." The woman sunk her face in her hands, and
groaned. "I knew there just had to be something else wrong with this
neighborhood. Just bring us some water. I'm thirsty."
Mousse looked at her sort of apologetically. Ukyo shrugged and
went off. He had seemed a little unstable in the past week, but it was
none of her concern, she supposed. Ranma had beaten him handily, as
usual, and that was all that really mattered. Everything was still right
with the world. What significance could there be in Mousse hanging out
with a woman of almost unearthly beauty? The population of good-looking
females in Nerima had always been large. Perhaps it was a good thing,
she thought. She never thought that Mousse's personality was a good
match for Shampoo's.
"Hey over there! Could you make me a sardine okonomiyaki?"
Whoops! Customers waiting. Off to work, she thought.
"Sardines?" Mousse muttered. Something about sardines...
"Look, Thor..."
"Mousse."
"Yeah, well... Mousse. Take it from someone who knows. You can't
just MAKE someone love you..." she traced patterns in the table top with
a straw and he couldn't quite follow the motions, but they seemed
strangely... magnetic. "Well, actually, you can, but that takes a rather
potent and unhealthy potion and it doesn't last that long anyway. You
know, I don't tell just anyone this, but..."
Her voice seemed to catch, for a moment. And he glimpsed something
in her eyes as she looked at him... a far away look. He thought he
glimpsed in it a hazy vision of green. Hidden as quickly as it had
appeared.
He blinked. What had that been?
She shook her head, further breaking the illusion. "Anyway, as I
was saying, you can't really make anyone love you. If there's anything
I've noticed in my years in the business, it's that love is under
nobody's control, not even mine," she murmured. "I fight that fact all
the time, but I've never really been able to create a love between two
people that wasn't already there in some form. Why are you so interested
in that purple-haired bimbo anyway? She doesn't really seem your type."
He sputtered, "She's not a bimbo! Just because she doesn't know
Japanese very well..."
"Yeah, yeah." She scratched absently at the marking on her
forehead. "Well, I know a LOT of languages, every Chinese dialect
included. Yeah, she actually does speak Japanese pretty good considering
how little time she's had to learn it." She waved a hand dismissively.
"But it's not the accent that I'm basing my assessment on. I'm saying
she's a bimbo because of her behaviour in general. What about the way
she's always pressing herself onto that Ranma guy? Not that I disapprove
of it, but she seems like a bimbo to me."
"It's just because of Amazon law! And Cologne... Besides, someone
who dresses like you isn't exactly in a position to make judgements like
that."
Her eyes narrowed. The sleepy expression was gone completely, and
Mousse felt a vague premonition of fear. "And what is wrong about the
way I dress? That has nothing to do with it!"
"Hah!"
"No fighting in the restaurant!" Ukyo's face suddenly loomed huge
over them, her glare communicating very clearly the fate of those who
trashed her place. Anyone who stayed in Nerima for any length of time
developed a remarkably keen sense for this sort of thing.
The two of them subsided.
"So what happened to the first Thor?" Mousse inquired.
"Ragnarok. The idiot died fighting the Midgard serpent. I TOLD
him to wait for back-up, but oh nooo, Mr. 'I-the-mighty-God-of-thunder-
doth-not-need-anyone' had to go fight it by himself." Her voice seemed
much colder. "That was before the world was re-made. Again.
Apparently, his hammer survived unchanged during the system upgrade.
It's an artifact of the Older Gods, and from a time before the current
Yggdrasill system was in place. See, these days, a god's powers and
duties are coded into the markings on one's face. Like mine. Much more
convenient. But yours are in Thor's hammer. It sorta screws up the
system programming in its vicinity because of the incompatible, obsolete
language. Why you've got the hammer now, I just don't know."
"I don't understand."
"That's why I've been pestering you to go to Heaven with me and fix
the coding of your hammer! You can find out more about yourself this way
as well. I mean, I can't even tell what class god you are - the original
Thor would have been a class 1 god, but right now, your system records
are so messy, it's hard to tell exactly what you're supposed to be. We
don't know how much power you've got, what your job is or anything.
C'mon. You'll have lots of time to mess around with that..." she
sneered, "mortal... afterwards."
He blinked. "Did you say 'job?' Gods and Goddesses have jobs?"
"We-eeell... duties. Yeah, we have jobs."
"That would sort of screw up my idea of heaven." He looked vaguely
disappointed.
"Well somebody's got to do it!"
Mousse sighed. "Okay. How about in a week?"
"Why not now?"
"Umm. I gotta pack?"
The woman sighed. "In some ways, you're just like him... So
transparent. Okay, fine. You've got a week to settle your affairs here,
then we go to Heaven, up-grade and re-program your hammer."
"And afterwards?" Mousse asked somewhat nervously.
"Well, we'll see afterwards. Hopefully, it won't take too long
unless the new software in your hammer crashes... If your new position
permits, you might be able to come back to this god-forsaken... uhm, to
this crappy place... within three days? If you want to so badly."
"Fine. I'll leave with you on the trip next week..."
Ukyo's ears twitched.
Mousse noticed that, suddenly, a large-ish number of people were
staring at him.
"Wow! Mousse ol' pal, I never thought you had it in you!
Congratulations, she's beautiful!" Ranma shook his hand.
"Wh-what? Well, I..."
"Well, I'm scandalized, a young man like you and this older woman
going off to do who knows what!" Ms. Hinako shook her head
disapprovingly.
"B-but..."
"Well, I'm glad you've decided to give up your useless pursuit of
my Shampoo," nodded Cologne.
"Now just hold on a minute!"
"I'm really happy for you, Mousse, Shampoo was always so nasty to
you," a smiling, excessively cheery-looking Akane said.
"Shampoo glad that Mousse finally over her - you never compare with
Ranma!" She stuck her tongue out at him.
Ranma nodded. "Now I can have Shampoo and Ukyo and Akane to
myself!!! And everyone will be happy! Bwahahahahaha!" Ranma clutched
maniacally at Shampoo's... chest.
---
"Aaaaaaaa!!!" Mousse screamed.
Mousse snapped awake, clutching tightly at his pillow.
He leaned back into his bed, sighing deeply. "Thank god..."
"You called?" The dark and scantily clad goddess smiled down at
him bemusedly. "Do you always have such interesting dreams?"
He groaned. "Dammit! I..."
She interrupted, "Now, now, that's really loaded language coming
from another god..."
"Well, I... uh..." He noticed how barely dressed she was. "Do you
always have to wear that?" He made it a point not to look below her
neck.
"What? This?" She tugged at the shiny fabric, and smoothened out
the creases against her skin. "I like this outfit. Of course, I could
wear less, if it pleased your god-ship..." She stuck her tongue out at
him.
"Oh, my, you're blushing!!! How adorably innocent! I could never
get the old Thor to blush like that!"
The temperature in Mousse's bedroom seemed to climb a little
higher. "...." he pleaded.
"Oh, alright," the woman shrugged. She whispered some oddly
familiar words in a soft chant, and a faint light enveloped her. When it
faded, she wore a pair of comfortable loafers, stylish-looking brown
slacks that suggested hints of autumn, and a beige blouse that was open
down to...
Mousse clutched at his nose to stem the flow of blood.
"Yeesh, you're so easily excited!" Calmly, she buttoned up a few
more buttons of her silk blouse. "Anyway, I just wanted to see what
Nerima was like, from your subconscious point of view. So I met with you
in your dream. Interesting place."
"Well could you please... ah... ward be or sobtig dext tibe?"
She smiled, and Mousse felt a sort of heat going up to the very
ends of his hair. "You know, you should really do something about that
nosebleed thing..." She snapped her fingers as she whispered those oddly
familiar-sounding words, and Mousse felt the flow stop.
"W-well, I... I-I've been practically blind for most of my life and
I haven't exactly had time to get immunized to that sort of thing now
that I can see!" He complained.
"I could help you with that, you know..." Her hands went to the
buttons on her blouse... and Mousse keeled over, unconscious.
"Ah, well. How disappointing. Until next week, 'Thor,' sweet
dreams..." She grinned, and disappeared into the screen of the tiny
portable TV set that Mousse kept for himself in his room.
---
"MMrffFPpF." Ukyo stumbled awake, clutching at her pillows. "What
a strange dream..." She could still feel the taste of Ranma's lips,
still felt the bizarre feeling of... acceptance everyone had for her in
the dream. The acceptance Ranma had for her... and for the other two
fianceés.
"Huh. Like I'd ever share Ran-chan with those two." She shook her
head.
And the appearance of Mousse in the dream, with that dark-skinned
beauty, that was just... odd.
"Been hitting that okonomiyaki sauce a little too hard lately..."
she muttered.
Ah well. Time to get the restaurant ready for business.
---
Ranma grumbled miserably as his father tossed him out of the room,
and directly into the pond. An outraged Ranma fairly screamed, "Oyaji!
C'mon, I didn't sleep well last night! Gimme a break! And I still ache
from that damned hammer Mousse was swinging around! Not to mention the
lightning bolts!"
"Ranma, m'boy, you're getting soft!" Genma initiated the attack,
forcing the still groggy (and now female) teenager on the defensive.
"So, bad dreams?"
She shuddered. "The worst!"
"An OPENING! Foolish boy! A martial artist let's nothing inter-"
Genma sprang, and was quickly and unceremoniously knocked into
unconsciousness by the sudden hail of irritated fist-work that his sex-
changing son... daughter... whatever... performed on him.
"Yeah, yeah." Ranma walked towards the bathroom, cursing as a
sharp pain shot up her back, nursing the burns and bruises that reminded
her to be ve-eeery careful when fighting Mousse next time. "Darn. He
doesn't even need his glasses to see anymore. I wonder how he managed
that trick... I was lucky that he tried some kind of wind-storm attack
on me... I'd better start working on some kind of new technique if he
can do some sort of variation on the Hiryuu Shotenha with his hammer."
---
"You know, you shouldn't tease him like that." As always, her
sister's voice was calm, compassionate, cheerful, serene, cute... And as
was sometimes the case, it was irritating her.
"Why not? Ouch!" She rubbed at her temples, a faint hangover
coloring her perceptions and setting the tone for the rest of her day.
Sigh. Sometimes, she wondered if life was just a really prolonged,
continuous hangover.
"It's not like he's the same Thor you used to know... He might get
the wrong idea. Hmm, mm-hmm..."
Her sister was irritating her a lot today. Okay, it was great that
she was such a good cook. But did she have to sing to the ingredients?
The elder sister sighed again, just that much deeper this time, and
murmured, "I think I'd know that better than anyone..."
"You miss him, still?" There might have been a tone of warning in
that kindly voice.
"O-of... of course not." She turned around. "We're out of sake.
I'm going out for some after work."
"You took care of him, after his fight."
That halted her. "I... Ah... Someone had to. When his wind attack
was countered and reversed back at him, it hurt him." She whispered, "A
lot..." as she left.
The other continued cooking, shaking her head a little in concern,
even as she cheerily cracked a couple of eggs open.
Her demeanor altered. "I remember Thor, too, sis... He isn't the
same. Or maybe he's too much the same, and it's me that's changed since
then..." The melancholy on her face was something new, something that
she never let anyone see. A private sadness... all her own. And
perhaps... her sister's...
"Hi! I'm back from my parents! Wow, that smells good..." A young
man's voice pierced the sudden silence, and eased her frown into a smile.
But, she reminded herself, she was glad that things had turned out
the way that they did with her beloved.
---
Glumly, Mousse wandered around aimlessly. He stopped a moment, as
an annoying clinking distracted him and almost caused him to trip.
"Damn. I hate it when it does that..." He sighed, and brought the
hammer out of its concealment in his robes as it was too large and
inevitably shifted around, striking his other weapons and also digging
into his shoulder-blades in an annoying way. He tried sticking it in a
couple of his other pockets... but it was heavy enough to totally
imbalance him if he kept it in a pant leg or a sleeve, and far too large
to fit in the other random places... "Ah heck. Whatever." He pulled a
tough, long strip of cloth out of nowhere, tied one end near the head of
the hammer, and the other close to the thong, and slung it over his
shoulder. He shifted about from foot to foot, judging the balance across
his back.
"Hmm... I must be getting used to the weight, at least." He
sighed again, still distressed about losing once more to Ranma.
He decided to walk to the park. Since he'd accidentally ended up
there a few days ago, he was continually drawn to it for some reason. It
was peaceful, and quiet, and he didn't have to deal with Cologne's
constant commands or Shampoo's... He stiffened. He tried to get his
mind off of that.
"At least I can actually admire the scenery now..."
He leaned against a convenient lamp-post, and marvelled as he
watched the people walking by. All his life had been a confused blur,
and just being freed from the annoyance of his glasses made such a
difference in the way he was seeing things. "Ha. Should've gotten
contacts as soon as I came to Nerima." Of course, I never did use my
glasses much anyway, he thought. A large part of the problem.
He couldn't believe all that had happened just the week before.
He was briefly lost in thought, going through the what-ifs and
might-have-beens that one is always tempted to search through when one is
in a certain mood. "Huh... Things seem so much clearer, now that I have
the hammer... not just my vision." He could not imagine what life could
have possibly been like if Ranma had never passed through the Amazon
village, if he'd never chased Shampoo to Japan... He would probably be
the average second-class citizen (being a male) in the village. There
were some things that he'd grown to like about this place, this place
where he didn't have to step aside to let a female pass, where any female
could not simply command him.
Now that he was no longer living under the thumb of Cologne, he
seemed to have gained a wider perspective of things. It had been a
fairly large step for him, moving out just like that. Without even a
good-bye for Shampoo. He wondered if he'd done the right thing... But
the boarding-house he'd been lucky enough to find was relatively close
by, and even if the neighbors weren't very friendly, they didn't pry into
his business. It was cheap too - although the first month's rent,
combined with the deposit, almost completely wiped out Mousse's small,
hard-earned savings.
"I've got to find a new job. I wonder if being a god pays well?"
He had to admit that the goddess, annoying as she sometimes was,
had been right about some things. Stepping back had allowed him to see
just how Shampoo affected him... and that saddened him.
"Shampoo..." he almost moaned. Besides the regular abuse she
inflicted on him, she just generally screwed up his thinking whenever she
was around him. He'd needed to get away, badly. But... "I'll find a
way to win your heart yet... Maybe, now that I can think and see
better... Maybe these changes happening to me will help me... will help
us."
There was an ominous creak, and he quickly took his weight off the
pole. He held up the hammer, and examined it closely once more. "You're
just a tad too heavy for everyday stuff, huh? I wonder if what that
goddess said was true... are you really Mjolnir?"
"Oh, Mr. Mousse! Why are you talking to your hammer?"
"K-Kasumi? Uh, hi! Fancy meeting you here!" He chuckled inanely,
pushing his long, black hair back over his shoulders.
"I was just taking a short-cut through the park to the grocery...
are you feeling better about yourself now? Oh, and congratulations!
Ranma didn't defeat you as easily as last time..."
He kept from grimacing. "Well, uh..." He fumbled for something to
say. "Would you like some help carrying the groceries back? It must be
tough cooking for your family and for... Saotome. I mean, I run errands
all the time for the Nekohanten, and I know how tough it can be
sometimes."
"Oh my, well, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you..."
"Oh, no... no inconvenience at all, I, ahh... I owe it to you.
For straightening me out. When I was depressed, I mean." He couldn't
help smiling. This was a relatively new thing for him, and he tried
exploring it. Usually, he either scowled, or had a manic grin that
strained his fully stretched cheek muscles. This pleasant smile thing...
it was definitely nice.
"Well... If you say so." She smiled. "Thank you. Oh dear, aren't
you forgetting something?"
"Huh? Oh..." He almost blushed. Almost. He must have dropped
the hammer, somehow. A small crater had formed in the sidewalk. Just a
small one.
Still... he felt better already.
As they walked off, a long-haired figure in the bushes sighed.
"In some ways... he is just like him... But, I should get to
work." She grimaced.
Since opening her shop here (out of an attempt to lessen her
boredom around the Temple), she spent most of the time puttering around
in complete... well, she had to admit it, boredom... There were very few
customers other than that strange, skinny student with the scruffy hair
and the glasses... and occasionally, Mousse, while he'd still worked at
the Nekohanten. Of course, he'd only been an average... okay, a not-so-
average man then. She sighed. "Perhaps I should try out for a teaching
position at that high school... or maybe not," she murmured, remembering
the chaos that dominated the place.
"It's a good thing the shop was near where he fought with Ranma..."
---
Shampoo thought about the changes happening around her, and was
wondering whether or not to be nervous. She thought about all that had
happened the other day...
FLASHBACK (okay, it's a cheesy cop-out, I admit it)
Shampoo intoned menacingly, "Stupid Mousse! Wait whole day and
still no show! Shampoo had to be one to buy herbs from down-town! No
able to see husband!" She sighed, leaning against the door-frame. Her
face took on a dreamy expression. She thought that Mousse had probably
challenged her beloved Ranma again, and was probably too ashamed to show
up around the restaurant.
"Huh? What that whistling sound?" Shampoo looked about in
puzzlement.
"Shampoo my LOVE, look ooooouuuut!" The frantic cries seemed to be
getting closer...
---
It had taken him a week after that to build up the guts for a
confrontation. That and... and a long conversation with the owner of
that new shop that had opened a block down from Doctor Tofu's. And a
little more practice with the Hammer as well.
Mousse pleaded desperately, kneeling before the imposing visage of
the potted plant with purple blossoms hanging before him. "But Shampoo!
I still knocked you out! Say, did you get a haircut?"
"Stupid Mousse! Am here!" She forcibly turned him the right way.
"Still no fair! No match, no count!" Shampoo shook her head adamantly.
A steady voice rough with age (as well as a well-aimed whack on the
head) interrupted Mousse's furious retort. "And even if you did beat her
in a fair fight, she still wouldn't HAVE to marry you - you are a member
of the village. The reason for the law regarding male outsiders is to
introduce the blood of strong warriors - but you're already a part of the
tribe. Besides, you have yet to beat Ranma..."
"If that's what it will take, then I will!!!" Mousse surged to his
feet, crying out, "I... I-I shall defeat that accursed Saotome! Today in
fact! Sure! I'll show you, old troll!" He ran. Straight through a
wall.
"Grandmother look worried... why so? Ranma sure to win!" Shampoo
looked inquiringly at the elderly matriarch.
"Hmm... There is something different about the way Mousse is
carrying himself... He is too confident for some reason... Come, grand-
daughter, we should watch, and follow."
They took to the rooftops.
---
"Hey, c'mon you uncute tomboy! The bandages just came off today!"
Ranma desperately dodged, weaving back and forth before his increasingly
frustrated fiance.
She swung punch after punch madly, just barely missing him each
time. The increased annoyance was causing her rage to build further, as
she snarled, "Why don't you stand still and take it like a man!"
"But I didn't do NOTHIN'!!! Was it my fault that Ukyo and Kodachi
and Shampoo visited me at the hospital?" Eyes wide, Ranma avoided a kick
to a particularly tender area of his anatomy.
"YES!!!" she cried out.
He leaned to the left, and Akane's right fist smashed hard into the
wall of a building. Cracks appeared in the plaster around the point of
impact, as her reddened cheeks suddenly paled. She stepped back,
gingerly cradling her hand.
Ranma stopped moving and, sudden concern in his eyes, walked
closer. "Hey... did you hurt yo-AAAA!"
She interrupted with a right hook that would make Holyfield quiver
in awed fear. "NO!"
"Whatdyadothatfoooooooooor!"
---
"Ah-ha! There goes Ranma!" Sighting his adversary above him,
Mousse reached, and pulled his massive hammer from out of nowhere. He
took off his glasses, and sneered. "There will be no escape for you this
time, Saotome!" He held it by the thong attached to one end, whirled it
about a few times to build up the necessary momentum, and stepped forward
into a leap, allowing the 'centrifugal' force to launch him up into the
sky after his hated foe.
Cologne remarked warily as she and Shampoo followed, leaping from
building to building, "There's something familiar about that hammer...
I've seen it before, somewhere."
---
Moments before his trajectory would directly intercept Ranma,
Mousse put his hammer away (on his belt this time), and launched a dozen
chains at his unwilling rival for Shampoo's heart.
"Huh? Oh, hi, Mousse. Irritate Shampoo this morning? I usually
don't see you taking the 'express' route..." Ranma almost casually
deflected the chains, enraging Mousse further as they continued on their
inevitable course.
"Rrrran-maaaaa! I challenge you for the hand of Shampoo!!!"
The two grappled in mid-air, Mousse attempting to strangle his foe
with his chains while simultaneously stabbing with several shiny-looking
implements of pain, the other trying to execute a painful joint lock on
Mousse's wrists. Ranma grunted as his forearms shifted against those of
Mousse. He's stronger than I remember, he thought. Come to think of it,
I always did wonder how he managed to carry all that stuff with him and
still move at this speed... I have the leverage, but he's holding me
back anyway.
Time to stall for time, and re-evaluate his fighting ability,
thought he. "Aw, c'mon Mousse, I mean, haven't we done this before?
Wait... somethin's different about you today..."
"How dare you sneer at me so confidently! The true battle has yet
to begin! I've worked on a few new techniques since we last fought,
Ranma! I will win this time!!!"
"You know somethin' Mousse?" Realization having dawned, his voice
was a little resigned, and somewhat relieved as it meant that he would
not have to fight with him today. He hoped.
Ranma's tone puzzled him. "What is it now, Saotome? There will be
no escaping this fight!!!"
SPLASH.
Regretfully, that did not end it...
END FLASHBACK
"Aaaah!" Pain brought her out of her thoughts.
She sucked at the cut on her finger. Strange. She normally wasn't
this clumsy.
"Where is that useless Mousse?" Cologne wondered out loud. "His
things are gone from his room! I'm beginning to wonder if we've lost our
cheap labor. I am going to have to show him that leaving is not a good
option." She narrowed her eyes.
Oh. Yes. That's what was different about today... Shampoo denied
it. <I am not worried about Mousse!>
** The <> enclose... thoughts in Chinese!!! How convenient.
She sighed. After landing in the pool, her beloved and Mousse had
still fought - since Mousse could somehow see now, he'd just flown
straight for a hot water faucet, and continued the battle. They'd torn
up a large quantity of the surroundings, and for a while, (though she'd
never admit it to anyone), she'd been worried that Ranma might lose.
She'd never thought Mousse knew any chi-attacks before... and then there
he was, launching lightning bolts with his hammer!
Things were just too strange...
"You're not thinking about Mousse, are you Grand-daughter?" That
brought her out of the trance immediately.
"Ah... N-no... Just wondering where Ranma..." she lied.
---
Yup. Normalcy's makin' some changes round here in Nerima - I can
feel it in my bones, noted the ineffable Happosai, even as he bounced
about the narrow streets, using his amazing agility to dodge everyone's
blows while still managing to cop an occasional feel. Ah-hah, I'll lose
them in that new apothecary... small, cramped, lots of dusty things, lots
of dark corners to hide in, how convenient!
Whoops! Where did that bolt of energy come from? "AAAAAK!"
Definitely a few changes for the worse tho'... He slumped unconscious to
the floor.
"Yeesh," muttered the tall (and obviously foreign) woman who'd cast
it. "There are really quite a few weirdoes around here."
"Aaah! Thank you Ma'am! Do you own this store?"
"Yes. You're welcome, think nothing of it. I don't like little
demons like that..."
Abruptly, she noticed the rather large crowd, and crossed her
fingers. "Ah, would you care for some herbs?" She started opening
various noxious smelling pots and pouches, showing off how extensive her
inventory was. "I have everything anyone could possibly need: mandrake,
spider silk, shark's fin, shark's teeth, ginseng, angel's feathers,
spices from all around the world... um... Anyone want anything? Ah,
anything at all?"
She looked vaguely desperate. If I don't get at least a few more
regular customers, I'll have to close this place and think of something
else... but I don't know what else there is I'd be good at... I'd hate
to be a computer science teacher... bleah.
Though initially repulsed by the suddenly overpowering scents of
strange spices and chemicals, the crowd managed to keep from backing out.
The desire to inflict righteous fury upon the monster was enough to
overcome their distaste, as well as the usual neighborhood suspicion of
strangers and their strange potions (especially strong since this was
Nerima)... and of course, the woman was widely rumored to be some kind of
gaijin witch... Obviously justified by that demonstration they'd just
seen. Yet...
"Do you have anything that can repel that... THING?" Somebody
hesitantly gestured towards Happosai.
"Well... ah... I guess I could mix up something that can repel
perverts..." At least, I hope I can, she thought.
"I'll take thirty pounds of that if you've got it!" "I'll take
fifty!" "A dozen pounds!" "Everything you've got!"
The shopkeeper was taken aback. "Ah... it will take me some twenty
minutes to mix up a batch..."
"That's fine, we'll beat him up while we wait!" "Yeah!!!" "What a
great store!" "Do you do love potions too?" "How about something for my
mother's rheumatism?"
"Excuse me Ma'am," another asked. "What's your name?"
She looked a little nervous. "Urd."
"Hurray for Urd-sama!!! Hurray!!!" The women around her cheered
for a moment before they happily got to the task of thoroughly extracting
their measure of justice from the old pervert by grinding him into the
tiled floor.
"Well..." Urd smiled as she started puttering around, gathering
components with one hand while flipping through an ancient tome with the
other. "I guess things are looking up... I just hope I can find
something that works..."
--- end of part 3 ---
Just what the heck's going on here? Is there actually a point to
this story? Is this some sort of imitation cross-over/parody/junky blah-
blah?
We don't know, but keep on reading! Watch out for the next
exciting sections of "The Adventures of Mousse - God of THUNDER!!!"
Someday, parts 1 and 2 may actually be written! But do the gods really
know? They're not telling!
Nikholas F. Toledo Zu @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/mezza9.html
Vector, Switch, Yebah, Don Juan, goo, Pervert, Scruples, Hollie, NomaD,
Blitz, Gee, Datzo, Jewel, Elf, Radler, Pinball, Mayhem
Fanfiction @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/fanfics.html
Warp Zone @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/thirteen.html
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The logo of the Church of All Worlds is nine concentric circles.
Word from the Laity: Wipe yer feet! Bloody 'ell...
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/3145/index.html
Currently under construction... confessional at the links.
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