<Lavender mists swirl...>
Hikaru: Lurker-kun, don't you ever get tired of doing that...?
Lurker: Nah, 's fun.
<a straw kasa appears in the center of the room, and a tall,
blue-haired man with a fox-like face emerges>
Lurker: Oi, Chichiri! Long time no see!
Chichiri: Daaa! <serious expression> Lurker-kun, we're reviewing a
Lawson fic no da?
Lurker: <nod>
Hikaru: Isn't that blasphemy or something...?
Lurker: <points at this little preface that was attached to the fic>
Hi! This is about the fourth time I've sent this story to
the FFML, under four different titles. This will be the
last time; for better or worse, I'm sticking with this
version. :)
Chichiri: .... daaaa....
Hikaru: Ah, I see why we're doing this then.
Lurker: <nods> I don't care who wrote it, any fic that's been posted
four times with four titles *deserves* a special treatment.
Hikaru: <snicker>
Chichiri: Let's get started no da!
<suddenly the theater door bursts open>
Lurker: What the--?
<a young girl, probably elementary school, runs into the theater at
breakneck speed. Following behind her at a more sedate pace is a tall
young man in a suit, wearing sunglasses. Several white bat-like
creatures swarm in behind them.>
Chichiri: Ittai nani yo na no da!?
Lurker: <smacks forehead> No...no...kami-sama, no...
The Girl: HIIIIII!!!!!!! The lovely and talented young Sana-chan is
*here*!!
Hikaru: <blinks> Anou...
Lurker: <to the sunglasses-wearing man> Tell me one thing,
Sagami-san. Whose bright idea...?
Sagami Rei: <shrugs apologetically> The company sent us out here to
guest-star in today's review. I told them I thought it was a
mistake...
Hikaru: <looks at the hyperactive Kurata Sana, who is currently
accosting Chichiri> You can say that again...
Lurker: <mutters> Just wonderful. Well, we'd best get on with the
review...
Sana: Yaaaaay! Showtime!!! <thrusts out her rap machine, which echoes
"Showtime" in her voice several times>
Chichiri: ...da. [Thinks: if I'd known this was going to happen, I'd
have stayed in Konan na no da...]
<One of the ever-present Babbits flutters onto the screen>
Babbit: Can we get on with it already?
Ukyo watched carefully as the batter was poured on the
grill. It hissed, then settled into a familiar round
shape. Ingredients were added, then it was flipped. More
ingredients were added, with flair. Finally the finished
okonomiyaki was scooped off the grill and given to the
waiting customer.
Chichiri: It's a good thing Miaka-chan isn't here for this no da.
She'd be starving to death by now na no da.
Lurker: <snicker>
"What's the first step in preparing okonomiyaki?"
This was a trick question, but Ukyo knew the answer. "Wash
your hands!"
Sana: <blinks> It is?
Lurker: Remind me never to eat at your place, Sana-chan...
Father's face was impassive, but she could see the approval
in his eyes. "What's the greatest danger?"
"The grill, when it's hot, you never ever touch it."
Sana: <standing in front of an EZ-Grill> Like this! <touches it>
IIITTAAAAIIII!!! <cries> Rei-kun, Rei-kun! I'm horribly burned!
Rei: It's okay, Sana-chan! It wasn't turned on! <points to the power
cord hanging off to the side of the grill>
Sana: ...I knew that.
Lurker, Chichiri, Hikaru: <sweatdrop>
Babbit: Yes folks, she's *that* braindead...
Sana: HEY! <hits the Babbit with her squeaky hammer>
Father looked down and started preparing another
okonomiyaki. Ukyo frowned at him in puzzlement; wasn't she
supposed to be making one? She didn't say anything because
Father looked very serious. He flipped the okonomiyaki,
added some toppings, then reached down underneath the cart
and grabbed a few of his special spatulas.
Sana: Ooooh, magic spatulas!
Chichiri: The only magic is whatever's keeping the air from getting
out of your head na no da...
Sana: Meanie! <hits Chichiri with her squeaky hammer>
<Lurker gives Chichiri one of those 'it's not *that* bad' looks.
Chichiri takes off his fox mask long enough to *glare* at Lurker.>
Suddenly the bushes exploded. A large man came shooting
out, running towards the cart. He made a flying leap at
the okonomiyaki on the cart.
Sana: <standing up, thrusting her index finger into the air> FLYING
OKONOMIYAKI TACKLE!
Rei: <smacks his forehead>
<Chichiri wordlessly retrieves his kasa from its resting place>
Lurker: Oi...Chichiri...you're not bailing out on me are you?
Chichiri: Of course not na no da. <silently reaches over and drops
the kasa on Sana. Sana gives a startled yelp before disappearing.>
Lurker, Hikaru: <applause>
Rei: Wh...where'd she go?
Chichiri: <flatly> Outside na no da.
Rei: <nods> I think we'll get going now. <Rei and the Babbits leave>
Lurker: Yokatta. Arigatou, Chichiri.
Chichiri: <flatly> You owe me one no da.
Just as she was about to swing her fists, he jumped. He
sailed over her as she shouted. He landed on the cart, his
feet perched on the shelf above the grill. He reached for
the okonomiyaki, then snatched his hand back as he felt the
heat of the grill.
Chichiri: If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen no da!
Ukyo reached up and pulled him off the cart. He somehow
twisted as he fell, grabbing her shoulders and bringing her
down with him. They wrestled on the ground together for a
while before the boy ended up sitting on her chest, holding
her wrists and smiling wickedly at her.
<suddenly the theater doors burst open again, and Sana comes running
in>
Sana: <points at the screen> Eeeew, RAPE!!
Lurker, Hikaru, Chichiri: <sweatdrop>
Lurker: Sana-chan, get your mind out of the toilet.
Hikaru: <blinks> *This* coming from *YOU*!?
Lurker: <facefault>
Chichiri: <snicker>
The big man jumped, grabbed it out of the air with his
mouth, and swallowed it almost whole.
Sana: Table manners, table manners!
Chichiri: There's no table na no da.
Sana: <blinks> Oh. Nevermind.
The maker of the noodles handed her another box. "I can do
this for you, Ukyo- san. It is a part of my job."
Lurker: <quietly> Whoa...you guys see that?
Hikaru: <blinks> What?
Lurker: Unbelieveable...
Chichiri: What is it no da?
Lurker: There's a typo.
<everyone facefaults>
Lurker: <grins> Made ya look!
Chichiri: <rubbing his head> Very funny na no da.
She quirked a corner of her mouth at him. "Thanks,
Ikaru-san, but I need to arrange everything just so, or
it'll all collapse."
Lurker: Japanese name, British accent?
Sana: <blinks> No, Ukyou has a Kansai accent...
Chichiri: <flatly> I think it was a joke no da.
Sana: Oh. 'kay!
Ukyo laughed. "It was nice of you to give her a good
price, Ikaru-san. But be careful; she likes to mother
everyone. If you give her a chance, she'll be telling you
to wash before dinner and making sure you eat right."
Sana: Oh my!
<everyone stares at her>
Sana: ...did I say something wrong?
<mass facefaulting ensues>
<Babbits drag a card across the screen reading "Ten minutes
later...">
Without any further comment, Ukyo turned and left the
restaurant. She unlocked her bicycle and began cycling her
way towards Nerima.
Lurker: Wonder if she bought that bike off Shampoo?
Chichiri: <falsetto> Aiyah no da!
<everyone *stares* at Chichiri. He sweatdrops>
Chichiri: Okay okay I get the point na no da!
She gritted her teeth and began pedaling faster. She lost
herself in the feel of the wind in her face and the
exertion of maintaining her speed. She ran a couple of red
lights, feeling reckless.
Lurker: Unfortunately, Officer Shampoo was on bicycle traffic duty
that day, and landed on her head, slapping her with a traffic
ticket...
Hikaru: <snicker>
Her first restaurant came into view. She rode around to
the back, dismounted, and locked up her bicycle. She spent
a minute composing herself before entering.
Sana: Hah! I can compose myself in less than a minute! <pulls out her
Babbit-shaped music device>
Rei: I don't think it's that kind of composing, Sana-chan...
Ukyo caught sight of Konatsu and nodded at him. He was
busy running around the tables, serving food, making sure
everyone had what they needed, and making pleasant small
talk. Konatsu had a real gift for customer relations, and
his tips were simply staggering. He insisted that all of
his tips be put into the company's coffers. Like Ukyo, he
was much more interested in the company's welfare than his
own. Since Ukyo *was* the company, it showed a devotion to
her she appreciated very much. His work ethic was the
equal of her own, and she could count on him to run the
restaurant by himself. Ukyo hoped that she would someday
be able to insure that he was adequately compensated for
all of the work he did.
Lurker: Yeah...a nice Casio digital watch when he retires...
Konatsu bowed again, then moved quickly but gracefully away
to pick up some more orders. Ukyo allowed herself a moment
to admire his form. He still liked to dress as a woman,
and he pulled it off admirably. He was lithe and winsome,
and when he danced from table to table, helping the
customers as much as he could, he was poetry in motion.
Chichiri: He blinded her with science no da!
Lurker: <blinks> Chichiri...you've been borrowing my old tapes again,
haven't you?
Chichiri: <blushes> Well...daaaaaaaaa.....
She had so many "good friends" she wanted to scream.
Sana: What's wrong with having lots of good friends?
<Rei whispers something to her>
Sana: Oh.
She leaned a little closer and scrutinized her face. It
seemed to her that she was beginning to develop some worry
lines on her forehead. And were those creases at the
corners of her eyes? She spent a long time trying to
determine if her skin was becoming wrinkled.
Hikaru: Not too vain, is she? <smirk>
She barked a laugh at herself. Over the hill at nineteen.
Sana: Nineteen *is* over the hill.
<Lurker *glares* at Sana>
Sana: Anou...what'd I say?
Chichiri: <sighs> Sana-chan, there's things you don't say around
Lurker-kun no da. That happens to be one of them na no da.
She eventually realized that she was wasting a lot of time
and gave up. Besides, she thought to herself as she threw
on her cooking clothes, staring into mirrors was a good
indication of narcissism, something she had no interest in
becoming a part of.
Sana: Anou...what's mirrors have to do with hiring your relatives...?
Rei: That's *nepotism*, Sana-chan.
She looked around. Ingredients *here*, spatulas *there*.
Lurker: ...okonomiyaki everywhere!
"Konatsu!" Ukyo grinned from ear to ear. "That's
wonderful! When's the marriage?" She meant that in a
teasing way.
Sana: They're shacking up!? Eeeeww! <blinks> Oh wait. Rei-kun and I
are shacking up. Nevermind!
Rei: <stammers incoherently>
Chichiri: <looks at them, shakes his head> I don't even wanna know na
no da.
Ukyo's smile faded as melancholy filled her soul. How had
Konatsu done it? Found true love when he was as busy as
Ukyo. It should have been harder for him, since some of
his idiosyncrasies were not widely accepted. Yet he'd
found time to fall in love.
Sana: <blinks> Idiot symphonies?
Chichiri: <flatly> It means he dresses like a girl na no da.
Sana: Oh. <ponders that>
Something tapped against the window of her bedroom. She
looked over at it, alarm filling her. The alarm grew when
she saw someone hanging upside-down just outside the
window. For a second she panicked; then she realized who
it had to be.
Sana: Batman! <starts playing the old Batman theme on her music
machine...more or less.>
Chichiri: <holds his ears> Itai no da...
Ukyo stifled a sigh and stepped back from the window.
Ranma flipped himself inside. Another time she might have
admired his dexterity; now she was too depressed and too
exhausted to be able to generate any strong feelings. "Do
you know what time it is?"
Lurker: Strong chi blasts, on the other hand, she could probably do.
Soun seemed to be struggling as well. After a couple of
bites, he stopped eating and started playing with baby
Nouma. The newborn was months away from eating solid food,
so was spared any of his mother's fare.
Lurker: Lucky kid...
Ranma steeled himself and took another bite. The worst
thing was that he never knew what to expect when he bit
into her food. This time, something liquid squirted inside
his mouth, burning his tongue. He used all of his control
to keep from gagging. He swallowed and quickly drank some
tea. Unfortunately, Akane had prepared this as well, and
it was much too strong. Ranma began coughing, quickly
grabbing his napkin and covering his mouth.
Chichiri: <winces> Miaka-chan's cooking would be safer than that na
no da.
Lurker: <nod> Miaka's cooking would be *tasty* compared to that.
Chichiri: <falls over> ....daaa.
Something bounced off his head; he wasn't sure what. He
looked up at a furious Akane. "Is there something wrong
with my cooking?"
Lurker: <Ranma voice> Sure is. You cooked it.
Ranma spent the next two hours teaching a beginning and an
intermediate course. When they were gone, he spent another
hour working out by himself, trying to clear his head of
the unpleasantness over dinner. Two years of marriage to
Akane had still not taught him to adequately deal with her
mercurial nature. While that was part of what he loved
about her, sometimes it was very, very frustrating to have
to deal with.
Lurker: The mallet blows to the head aren't likely to be
encouraging...
"Well, did you enjoy spending so much time away from me?"
Her voice sounded cold and angry.
<alarm sirens blare>
Sana: Wh--wha---what's that!?!?!?
Lurker: <calmly> Going to yellow alert. This appears to be morphing
into a Zen fic.
"Sorry?" Her voice was getting louder and more hysterical.
"Sorry for what? Sorry that you have such a bad cook for a
wife? Sorry that we had a son that needs to be taken care
of? Sorry that you married a miserable hag?"
Lurker: I'd say more like miserable--
Hikaru: Don't say it!
"Akane!" He clenched his jaw, tried to calm himself.
"Don't do this. Remember what the sensei said? The
post-something depression?"
Sana: Post-pardon?
Rei: I beg your pardon?
"Love?" Akane threw the baby's pacifier at Ranma. Nouma,
his nursing interrupted by all of Akane's motions, began to
squirm. "What do you know about love? Love to you means
being able to have sex on a regular basis. Well, I'm sorry
that we haven't been able to do that for the past few
weeks. You'll just have to go elsewhere to find 'love'."
<the lights go out in the theater, and angry red lights come on>
Chichiri: <shouting> Red Alert no da! This fic's turned Zen na no da!
Lurker: <grimaces> Stand by to inject happy gas into the ventilation
system on my command.
Sana: Happy gas?
Chichiri: To counteract the angst na no da.
He walked, and left his life behind him.
Lurker: Chichiri! Happy gas, *now*!
Chichiri: Yokai no da! <Chichiri hits a button, and the air vents
hiss>
<Babbits slide a card across the screen: "A little later...>
Lurker: <grinning broadly> Ahhhhh....that's better. Let's get back to
the fic, ne?
Chichiri: Hai, hai no da!
<Sana has fallen asleep and is murmuring things which are making Rei
blush>
"Down the hall to your right." She couldn't remember if it
was the first or second door, so she decided to close her
eyes again and let Ranma figure it out for himself. He
should know where it is, since he lived here. Didn't he?
Maybe they weren't married yet. She'd think about it some
more in the morning.
Lurker: Oops. I think the gas got her too.
Chichiri: Daa.
This felt *so* good. How long had it been since she'd made
love to him? She couldn't remember. Maybe it was time to
reacquaint herself with the experience.
Lurker: Oi Chichiri...
Chichiri: <flat look> It's your happy gas no da. You'd know better
than I would na no da.
Hikaru: <blinks> I won't even ask...
"Love you, Sugar," she mumbled happily, letting sleep
overwhelm her.
"I love you, Akane..." He trailed off into sleep.
Something about that bothered her, but she was asleep
before she could figure out what it was.
<Lurker flies up to the air duct, and fumbles around for a minute.
When he comes back down, he's holding his head.>
Lurker: Kuso...I was afraid of that.
Hikaru: What?
Lurker: Remember the hippie revival we rented the place out to...?
Hikaru: Yeah...
Lurker: <points up at the air duct> Marijuana.
Hikaru: Oh. <blink>
He was aroused, they were kissing passionately, their
clothes were off, her skin on his, electrifying, good. His
hands roamed over her body, enjoying its softness.
Then they were deep into sex, she was groaning tremulously
as he began to build towards to a climax, succumbing,
feeling wonderful. He could smell the sea, the sea always
made him think of sex with her, the salt reminding him of
the salt of her body, slick with sweat.
<Rei covers Sana's eyes>
Sana: Hey! I wanna waaaatch!
Chichiri: No you don't na no da.
Some melancholy filled her as she went down the hall to the
bathroom. It had felt wonderful to have someone in her
bed. Not for the physical pleasures, but because of the
shared intimacy and affection. She really missed that,
much more than she missed sex.
<The Babbits are blindfolding Sana and putting earmuffs on her>
Sana: Waaaaaaah! No faaaaair!
Akane came in, her baby in a stroller. She looked
frightful; her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were
puffy. It wasn't hard to imagine that Akane had spent the
night crying. Ukyo winced inside; if she had any desire to
have an affair with Ranma, it was excised by the sight of
Akane's misery.
<Sana finally manages to unblindfold herself, and sees Akane>
Sana: YAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Scary monster!!!! <puts the blindfold back on>
Chichiri, Rei, Hikaru, Lurker: <sweatdrop>
The assistant manager nodded her understanding. Ukyo
gathered herself and made her way back to the table.
Lurker: Gathered herself? She's sagging? At her age?
Hikaru: LURKER NO HENTAI! <bashes him with her sword>
"The Saotome Secret Technique." Ukyo frowned, thinking.
Lurker: <snickers>
Akane glared at Kasumi for a bit, then lowered her eyes.
Lurker: Isn't glaring at Kasumi a little bit like flipping off
Belldandy?
Hikaru: <shakes head> Glaring at Kasumi is just extremely rude.
Flipping off Belldandy is asking for it.
Chichiri: Daa...she doesn't have a temper about things like that na
no da.
Lurker: But her sisters do.
Chichiri: Aa, sou na no da.
Ukyo blew out a breath, and called the assistant manager
over. There were a lot of instructions to be left with her
and Konatsu before Ukyo could go to the train station. To
perhaps go on a wild goose chase.
Chichiri: I'd say more like a wild horse chase no da.
Ukyo held her hand over the grill. It seemed hot enough.
She took a cup of batter and dumped it on the grill. The
batter hissed and splattered and ended up looking like a
yucky blob. Ukyo growled at it, then started throwing some
seasoning at it. She grabbed a spatula and flipped it
over. She wasn't entirely successful; half of the
okonomiyaki broke off. She ended up with a pile of burning
batter.
Lurker: <sings> I'm just a hunka hunka burnin' batter...
<Hikaru hits him with her sword, Chichiri hits him with his staff,
Sana hits him with her squeaky hammer>
"It's just, when I got hurt, I remember that there was
someone I could go hug. It made me feel good. Then they
went away and now I've got no one to hug."
Everyone: Awwwww......
She was about to do that when she noticed something higher
up on the hill. Making her way there, she saw that someone
had torn up the side of the hill. Hunks of dirt and rock
were strewn about a hole. Now that she thought about it,
it had been a tight fit when she was six. An adult
wouldn't have been able to enter unless the entrance was
widened considerably. Such a feat was easy for certain
martial artists.
Lurker: Yeah, especially the ones that can shatter walls with their
fists and throw chi blasts...
Sana: <blinks, confused> What's a key blast anyway?
Lurker: Chi blast. <grins wickedly>
Chichiri: <eyes widen> Daaa, Lurker-kun...
Hikaru: <rolls eyes> Here we go again...
<Lurker cups his hands, and a purple ball of energy gathers between
them. His eyes flash purple as he looks up, locking his gaze onto an
unsuspecting Babbit. Then...>
Lurker: MURASAKI RAISHIN!
<...the chi blast rips free from Lurker's hands, striking the hapless
white bat, which falls to the ground, thoroughly charred.>
Lurker: *That*, Sana-chan, is a chi blast.
Sana: <blinks> Ooohhhh...
Babbit: <weakly> Someone call the SPCA...<dies>
Sana: !! You killed it!
Lurker: <shrug> Big deal. There's hundreds of 'em, right?
Sana: ....true....
She heard something rustling in the cave. For the first
time, she wondered if perhaps a wild animal lived here.
That would be good, she thought wryly, to get bitten by
some diseased creature. Still, if there was an animal in
here, it surely would have made itself known long before
now. It had to be Ranma.
Lurker: In which case, it's still a wild animal...
Hikaru: <groans> Enough with the puns on his name already!
Ranma continued as if she hadn't heard her. "I can't, I
won't. I mean, I'm married. Even if I'm no longer worthy
of her. Oh, Akane." This last was said in a voice full of
despair.
Lurker: <smirk> Now he sounds like Ryouga...
Ranma's voice deepened into anger. "In fact, I don't
understand how you could do this. You said you'd given up
on me. Yet you jumped into bed with me at the first hint
of trouble between me and Akane. I thought you were my
friend. Did you come here expecting that I'd fall into
your arms?"
Lurker: <smirk> Oh, that's just nice. Go blame good ol' Ucchan...
Ukyo found herself getting angry as well. "Why are you
taking this so badly? Hell, it's not like we had sex or
anything. Don't flatter yourself so much. Just because we
accidentally fell asleep in the same bed doesn't mean that
I'm about to return to the days of pining over you. I've
moved on with my life, Ranma, so don't think that I want
anything other than your friendship. I'm not sure I even
want that if you think so little of me after we made one
mistake."
<everyone applauds>
Sana: You GO girl!
"Ukyo, please tell me. This is important. Are you saying
we didn't... didn't have sex last night?"
A light finally dawned in Ukyo's mind. Suddenly everything
made sense, and a bit of relief percolated through her.
"Ranma, of course not. We just slept together."
<Lurker looks at Chichiri. Chichiri looks at Lurker. They both look
at Hikaru. Hikaru smirks.>
Lurker: I'm not touching that one.
Chichiri: Neither am I no da.
"Good." Ukyo tried to move past her anger. "Is that it?
Can we go home now?" Not the most tactful way to say it.
Ukyo was low on tact right now.
Sana: <brightly> Then she'd better stop by a tact shop on the way
home!
<everyone stares at Sana. Sana sweatdrops.>
Sana: What'd I say...?
"It's... it's like you're both one person. You know about
every single thing the other person does, and they know the
same about you. There's no such thing as privacy any more.
I gotta check with her before I do anything. And it's
just going to get worse, because now we have a baby. Not
that I had much freedom before that. Sometimes it feels
like I'm being strangled, that all the fun in life died
when I got married."
Lurker: <sighs> The boy is clueless.
Chichiri: Daaa.
Ukyo was glad Ranma couldn't see her face. She was
absolutely furious. She used all of her willpower to keep
herself from trembling in anger. Ranma had it all: a good
wife, a loving family, a steady job, and the occasional
zany adventure to add spice. Yet all she could do was
whine. Ukyo yearned for all that Ranma had, so much that
it sometimes gnawed her stomach late at night. Was Ranma
truly so blind that she didn't know how good she had it?
Lurker: This *is* Ranma we're talking about here.
Hikaru: <Ukyou voice> Oh, silly me.
Ukyo opened her mouth wide so that she could draw several
deep breaths as silently as possible. When she thought she
was under control, she spoke. "Ranma, you brainless idiot."
<everyone snickers>
"Because..." Ranma trailed off, evidently thinking, then
continued after a minute. "Because proposing to her was
one of the best moments of my life. And we've had lots of
other good moments, too. And I'd never trade any of that
to... to live in this damn cave." Ranma laughed
humorlessly. "And I am a stupid idiot, aren't I?"
Lurker: Took him long enough to figure that out.
Chichiri: That's because he's a stupid idiot na no da.
"Uh huh." She stopped sobbing and looked up at him. He
was hugging her gently, but his face was mottled with rage.
Sana: <flinches> Ugly.
"He's a martial artist. His word is supposed to be
sacrosanct. He's forsaken his honor." His eyes glinted.
"I should have known when he and his son tried to steal
our okonomiyaki that first time. I thought he was just a
wandering ronin of the ancient kind, trying his best to
feed his son. Now I know he was just a thief, worming
himself into a position where he could steal as much from
me as he could."
Lurker: That pretty much sums up Saotome Genma...
Ukyo embraced the blackness, finding that the pain grew
less and less as she imagined the look on Ranma's face as
she beat him senseless. She smiled, a dark smile that felt
unnatural on her face. But it was right, she would become
hard and cold like her smile, and she would make them feel
pain like she had felt pain.
And she would never let anyone into her heart ever again.
Lurker: <looking at the air vents worriedly> I hope the auto-gas
system doesn't kick--<the vents hiss>--crap.
Chichiri: Gas masks na no da! <puts on a gas mask, as do the others>
"Oh Ranma." Akane jumped into his arms. The force knocked
them to the ground, Akane landing on top of Ranma. People
in the crowd gave them a strange look.
Lurker: <chuckle>
Rei: <blindfolds Sana>
Hikaru: <grins>
The sobbing slowed, then stopped. Ukyo looked up to see
Ranma and Akane regaining their feet. Akane sniffled and
glanced at Ukyo. "Maybe this whole thing wouldn't have
happened if I hadn't tried to cook. I mean, Ukyo can cook,
<Trish Ledoux shows up and snatches that phrase out of the fanfic,
walking away haughtily>
Lurker: <blinks> Okay...
"Says who?" Ranma drew her eyebrows together. "How often
does Nabiki cook?"
"She's not married yet."
"And when she and Kuno do get married? Do you see her in
the kitchen?"
Akane considered that. "I, uh, suppose not."
Lurker: <snicker> That's what they pay Sasuke for. Errr, when they
remember to pay him...
Hikaru: <giggle>
"Hey!" Ranma reached out and stroked her cheek. "Remember
when I tried to learn how to do Ryoga's Shishi Hokodan? I
tried and tried, and could never do it as well as he could.
So I gave it up and learned a different technique. A true
martial artist recognizes their limitations, and instead of
trying to surpass them, instead finds ways around them."
Lurker: Leave it to Ranma to make a martial arts analogy...
"Do you see, Ukyo, what a good friend you are?" Kasumi's
voice was very soft and gentle, seeming almost ethereal,
barely audible. "Akane and Ranma had a very bad argument,
and it could have gotten out of hand, but you helped them
rediscover how much they love each other. You are a
wonderful person, so full of warmth and kindness that you
make everyone around you feel good. Your family life will
be full of joy and love, because of you. You've planted
quite a crop with your seeds of love. Be patient, and you
will reap a generous harvest."
Lurker: <announcer-type voice> The role of Tendou Kasumi is being
played today by Aeris Gainsborough...
Ukyo narrowed her eyes. Kasumi. She was going a bit too
far with this mothering kick of hers. She needed to get
pregnant very quickly or Ukyo was going to kill her.
Lurker: <cackle>
Hikaru: <giggle>
Chichiri: <snicker>
She decided she wanted to find out more about Ikaru. Her
first impression was that he was friendly, intelligent,
dedicated, attractive, and a little shy. He was no Ranma,
of course.
Lurker: One point in his favor!
Her restaurant, however, had remained unchanged. It was
what she lived for. She was, first and foremost, an
okonomiyaki chef. She took different ingredients and
combined them and made something wonderful out of them.
Some of the ingredients might be unsavory and bitter when
tasted individually. If she worked hard enough and blended
them properly, she could make them taste delicious.
All it took was a spatula and a little love.
Smiling to herself, she took the flowers off the grill and
brought them with her on her way to bed.
Lurker: And that's a wrap!
<Sana, Rei, and the Babbits leave through the door. Chichiri puts his
kasa on his head and vanishes. Lavender mists swirl, and Lurker and
Hikaru disappear.>
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"Kakeru-niisama? Bathe."
--Shidou Hikaru, Onna: Red Side chapter 20
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The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/9502
I get my kicks *above* the waistline, sunshine.
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