This is a silly self-insertion series I'm doing for fun, so sue me if I
make some careless mistakes! C&C/MSTs welcome, flames are laughed at and
deleted, etc, etc, all comments go to cristina@netdoor.com okay? :)

And now for something completely different...

It's....

---Christina's Anime Talk Show---<

(cue huge foot dropping from sky with a splat sound)

Christina: Hi, and welcome to the show! I'm Christina, the writer and
person that runs the whole thing since I'm writing it, pleased to meet you!
Let me introduce my co-hosts:

Zelgadis: I'm Christina's PR, all comments and criticisms go through me,
and I get to ask all the intelligent questions.

Amelia: I'm the champion of justice, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun.

Gourry: I'm Gourry. When do we eat?

Christina: After the show, Gourry...

Gourry: (face brightens) Okay! 

Amelia: So, Christina-san, who's our first guest?

Christina: First up, we have two special people from a far-off land whose
name I couldn't find. They're both accomplished sword-dancers forced to
leave their own homelands, and they've both gone through a lot more than I
could talk about in thirty minutes! Tiger and Del, have a seat!

(Two people come from backstage, one male, one female. The male is very
tall, with bronze skin, green eyes, and dark brown hair. The female is
shorter, with fair skin, ice-blue eyes, and pale blonde hair. Without
removing their swords from their backs, they each take an empty seat near
the hosts.)

Christina: You know, you don't really need your swords on a talk show...

Del: I hope you don't mind, I like to keep mine kind of close.

Tiger: Yeah, me too, sorry if it's a bother.

Gourry: Hey, I had to leave the Sword of Light in the dressing room! How
come these guys get to keep their swords and I can't?

Zelgadis: Because they're the guests, Gourry. Guests get preferencial
treatment.

Gourry: Oh.

Christina: Hey, guys? We do have a show to run...

Del: Go ahead, banter's much more fun than boring interviews!

Tiger: Del, I thought we were supposed to be doing the banter...

Del: Oh, who cares?

Tiger: Aren't we bantering right now?

Del: Hey, we are! Cool!

Zelgadis: *ahem* So what do you two do for a living? 

Tiger: We hire ourselves to whoever bids highest.

Gourry: To do what?

Zelgadis/Amelia/Christina: ............

Amelia: Gourry, you see those swords they brough with them?

Gourry: Yeah? What about em?

Christina: Well, Tiger and Del are accomplished sword-dancers, Gourry. If
someone wants them to do something, they try to hire them. You know,
bodyguard work and that sort of thing.

Gourry: Oh, okay.

Christina: So would you like to give us a little demonstration, since you
brought your swords?

Tiger: Well, Del?

Del: Sure, I wouldn't mind beating you in front of an audience!

Tiger: Says who?! 

Amelia: I could moderate, if you'd like.

Tiger: You seem like an honorable girl.

Del: Sure!

Christina: Wait a minute! Cut, cut! 

Amelia: Nani?

Christina: This isn't the Late Show! We're supposed to be learning more
about our guests, not showing off our fencing skills! And besides, Tiger
and Del have run out of time.

Tiger: What?! 

Del: Don't take it so hard, Tiger.

Tiger: But this was supposed to be our break in television!

Del: Oh well, that's show business.

Christina: Now for our next guests, we have a girl I think needs no
introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. Sailor Moon, come over here!

(Sailor Moon comes from backstage and takes a seat beside Tiger and Del.)

Amelia: Christina-san, why didn't you tell me we were having Sailor Moon as
a guest?!

Christina: Well, you never asked, so...

Amelia: Sailor Moon, you're my idol! Can I have your autograph, please
pretty please??

Sailor Moon: Um, sure, give me a pen please...

Amelia: Here! (Hands Sailor Moon a pen and a framed picture)

Sailor Moon: "To Amelia, my biggest fan, may you follow your heart and
always fight for justice!" (signs it with a flourish) There you go! 

Amelia: Thank you so much!

Sailor Moon: Sure, let's do lunch some time.

Zelgadis: Anyway, Sailor Moon, I have a question I'm sure many people would
like to know.

Sailor Moon: Yes?

Zelgadis: Exactly WHY do sailor senshi wear such short skirts?

Sailor Moon: Ah, um, well the senshi outfit was like this when I first got
it, so...

Zelgadis: So there's really no answer?

Sailor Moon: It's a mystery none of us has ever figured out.

Tiger: Not that bad of a mystery, if you ask me.

Del: Hey! 

Sailor Moon: ^^;;

Christina: Let's go ahead and bring out our next guest, Sailor Moon's
fellow sailor senshi, Sailor Mars!

Amelia: Yes!

Sailor Moon: Man, she just HAD to intrude on my moment in the spotlight!

Sailor Mars: Hey, you're the one to talk; I was first in line for the show
auditions, but they thought your pigtails looked cooler, so they let you
come out first. Don't deny it's the truth! I have more of a right to be
here than you!

Christina: Um, why don't we all settle down and act like grownups for a
moment?

Sailor Moon: Th..that's not true! 

Sailor Mars: Admit it, your meatball head's what got you in here.

Sailor Moon: WAAAAAH!!!

Amelia: Sailor Mars-san, don't say such things!

Sailor Mars: Gomen nasai... (Tries vainly to get Sailor Moon to stop
wailing.)

Sailor Moon: *sniffle* You're so mean!

Zelgadis: Sailor Moon, you shouldn't cry, here's what you should do...
(whispers into Sailor Moon's ear. Sailor Moon calms down considerably upon
hearing this.)

Sailor Moon: O-okay...

Sailor Mars: What?

Sailor Moon: Nothing you'd be interested in, Mars...

Sailor Mars: (suspiciously) Okay, if you say so...

Christina: Well, I'm sorry to say that that's all the time we have for
today...

Sailor Mars: What?! But I didn't get to say anything about myself! I didn't
get to answer any questions!

Zelgadis: Maybe we should've had Sailor Moon on at a later time...

Sailor Mars: A little late for that now, don't you think?

Christina: But be sure to tune in tomorrow, where we interview 'anime girls
and the guys who love them.' See you then!

~*Roll Credits (background sounds of Sailor Mars and Sailor Moon fighting
some more)*~

~*Author's Notes*~

Tell me if you think this talk-show thing is a good idea or not. I thought
I'd try something a little different, and this is the result; I hope it
doesn't bomb... I know Tiger and Del aren't anime characters, but that's
not going to stop me from having them on the show! I plan to use other
non-anime characters too, such as Arilyn Moonblade, Liriel Baenre, and
several others as well. About the Amelia idolizing Sailor Moon thing, don't
you think that if Sailor Moon and Amelia existed in the same reality,
Amelia would treat her as an extra-cool heroine? Sailor Moon is everything
Amelia could ever wish to be! 

And for those of you who got the foot gag at the beginning, I congratulate
you!

Christina Rose
cristina@netdoor.com