SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
(http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
PRESENTS...
Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Fighting Tournament BETA :
Round 4
A Street Fighter / Darkstalkers / Toshinden / Ranma 1/2
Samurai Showdown / Groove On Fight / Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles / And Many Others Reader-Voting
Tournament Fanfic
by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
(All characters copyright other people, obviously. If I
ever even considered claiming that these were my own
characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where
I'd be forced to eat my own super combos to live.)
-=-
AUTHOR'S NOTE :
Okay, we're restructuring slightly in response to reader
ideas of how to handle the tournament. This file has R4 and R4's
matchups... but in voting, you're gonna vote for R4 AND FINAL
ROUND. That way we don't need three more posts, only one. So,
at the end of the voting period, you'll get R4Results, and the
Final Round and Results... and the BIG FINALE! WOOHOOO!!!
In other words, you can stop sending in the little form I
tagged after R3R. Sorry!!... I know I said a week, but response
has been overwhelming in one day alone, and there doesn't seem to
be any major problems... I promise to be more organized for the
Next Big Thing. And for the lucky few who amused me
sufficiently, I sent them a preview of my idea for the Next Big
Thing. Beg them for it, maybe they'll tell you. Otherwise, have
to wait... >:)
ATTENTION FAN ARTISTS!! Wanna be relatively popular? I
seek creatively whacked out individuals to illustrate the
tournament. Select your favorite fight so far, draw a scene from
it, and send it to twoflowr@glue.umd.edu in MIMEd attachment.
All submitted entries will go on the webpage. You don't make a
single buck off this, and I'll probably get diddley / squat
amount of pictures, but it would kick so much ass to see a few
fun pics... (especially considering what I have in mind for the
Final Round...)
-=-
Somewhere...
Somewhere in the core of evil itself, stood a figure.
It pulsed. It breathed. It lived.
It waited. It waited for fresh meat, for new victims. When
found, it would test its skills, and it would feed the power of
those who came to it. And perhaps it would obtain a pronoun
somewhere along the way.
Until then, it waited.
*
The Medical Building at block LV426 in Heaven had seen
better days. Had seen better centuries, frankly.
From the outside, it looked like a giant blackhead. Evil
energy swarmed over the building, formed a hard crust, and turned
what was once a hospital into a demented parody of Space
Mountain. Small monsters roamed its surface, held at bay by
angels with big fiery arrows, but so far anybody sent in had run
out screaming. The situation was not optimal.
"I warned 'em," Nicotine shrugged. "I warned the boy.
Don't unleash evil powers with the ward unless you've got a
spiritual container around to put 'em in. Otherwise they'll,
well, you know..."
"Grow," Skuld nodded, looking at the hideous blob of black
slime that had formed around Medical. "Icky."
"Can't you just blast it?" God asked.
"We could," Nicotine said. "Just detonate the whole
building... kablooey. We're a bit lucky, all that evil energy's
solidified in the open air, and become a living thing instead of
freefloating psychic pus. No containing needed, just a good
hearty whack to the metaphysical testicles."
"We can't do that. There's another problem," Skuld said,
holding up a construction paper letter written with crayons.
"Everybody got out safely, but we were sent this note... 'If
you're looking for the little spirit girl, I've hidden her
somewhere in the Medical Building. Send your strongest warrior
or else! Signed, an Anonymous Person, OOHOHOOHHOOHOHOHOHOOO.'"
"Devilot can be such a pest," God muttered, tapping His
chin. "Okay. How about this. Invade the complex, rescue Anita,
set a bomb to nuke the place and then get on with the tournament.
Sound like a plan?"
"Whoa! I'm not going in there!" Skuld exclaimed. "It's
disgusting! And full of evil monsters and ectoplasm and things!"
"Relax, Skuld-chan. I've got a strike team in mind to back
you up in there. Go grab the following people from the
tournament..."
*
B.B. Hood, in her new red cape she had ordered by Kawaii
Mercs Unlimited, considered what she was being asked.
"Okay. The Medical Building is one big hive of monsters and
darkstalkers," she summarized. "The odds are slim that anyone
will survive and the numbers are overwhelming and we'll have to
fight tooth and nail to make it out with the hostage, assuming
that the place doesn't up and explode when we set the bomb.
Right?"
"Uh-huh," Skuld nodded.
"I'm IN! Sounds fun!" B.B. cheered, bouncing on her chair.
*
"I don't believe this," Sakura laughed. "I just escaped
from that place before it sealed off, not to mention having just
escaped from being an evil whacko for the rest of my life, and
you want me to go BACK in there?"
"Sakura's right. Why should we?" David asked. "We just
went through hell to get that crud out of her system. No need to
expose her again."
"Ano... we don't want Sakura," Skuld said, checking her
list. "He only asked for David."
David paused. "Eh?"
"No way," Sakura said, shaking her head. "I know what that
place is like. I WAS that place. He's not going."
"What?" David asked. "I can handle it."
"No, you can't!"
"I can too!"
"Why are you being stubborn?" Sakura asked.
"I could ask the same thing!" David replied.
"Fine, then! I'll go with you!" Sakura growled. "Someone's
got to cover your back. You saved me, now I save you. Fair's
fair."
David sighed. "Alright, alright. Just stay out of danger,
okay? And Skuld... we're going there to destroy it. Not to
study. Not to bring back. Right?"
"That's the plan, hai."
"We're in."
*
Kiyone looked at the contract she had been handed with
reverence and awe. She held it like the Turin Shroud.
"If I join this team..." she repeated, because she wasn't
certain if she was dreaming or not, "You'll... DEMOTE Mihoshi
back to mortal status so she won't be an immortal monkey on my
back?"
"That's the deal," Skuld nodded.
"Pen! PEN!!!! Where's a pen!?!" Kiyone screamed, looking
around.
A small, funny looking penguin wandered in, lost. Misato
quickly gathered him up, apologized, and wandered off to get a
beer.
*
"Behold!" God said, exactly two hours later. "I call it...
Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Scramble Team Beta!"
"Stupid name," David grumbled.
"Weapons expert in chainsaws and firearms, David," the Lord
said. "He'll be left flank. Sakura, you're right flank. Skuld
is central command, she'll be in the Banpei-kun APC directing
your efforts. Kiyone and B.B., you're front and rear guards
respectively. Move as a unit, kill anything that isn't Anita,
and good luck. MOVE OUT, MOVE OUT!"
The group shrugged, and nonchalantly wandered to the large
smiling armored personnel carrier.
"This is probably a bad idea," Sakura bemoaned.
"Who cares? I'll be free of Angel Mihoshi!" Kiyone giggled
insanely, right eye twitching for a change. "I'd climb Mt. Fuji
for that!"
"I just like to kill things," B.B. Hood giggled, locking and
loading her shiny new uzis, which Mom had sent from home. ('Dear,
take better care of your guns. I threw in some cookies as well
and a new grenade. Remember to feed Sparky. Love, Mrs. Croft.')
"Hey, wait a minute..." Sakura said, confused. "David,
you've got a gun. Kiyone has a gun. Hood's got a gun. Why
don't I have a gun?! I want a gun too!"
"Do you know how to use one?" David asked.
"Well... no."
"How about a rocket launcher? You could borrow mine!" Hood
suggested.
"Never used one of those, either."
"Grenades?"
"Naw."
"So no firearms, no projectile weapons, and no throwing
weapons?" B.B. asked. "What's left?"
So they gave Sakura a pointed stick.
"Oh. Joy," she muttered.
The Banpei APC rolled towards the hulking spectre of H.R.
Geigerian novelty, and crashed through the doors.
*
Inside the complex, nightmares lurked.
They weren't immediately visible, but make no mistake, they
were there. The crew of four armed commandos, even if one was
toting a sharp stick and looking quite peeved, skulked quietly
through the corridors.
"This place is disgusting," Hood snorted. "What's with the
vaguely phallic grey-black slimey growths on the walls?"
"I don't like all the hissing noises," David said. "Or the
unseen shadowy figures trailing us."
"What?"
"The unseen shadowy--"
"Where?!" Hood asked. "Aaaaa! Monsters! Dozens of them!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Sakura sniffed. "If there was a
thundering herd of crazy golems headed our way, my motion tracker
here would be beeping wildly."
The motion tracker began beeping wildly, its screen covered
with a zillion little blue blobs. The danger and proximity
readout was currently displaying common prayers for safety in six
languages for your convenience during times of certain doom.
The first wave of alienlike beasts charged, from all sides.
"LET'S ROOOOCK!!!" B.B. wailed, lighting up the dim corridor
with uzi muzzle flashes.
Kiyone followed in suit, tuning her blaster to 'Salad
Shooter' and spraying the moving wall of grey weirdness with
rapid fire energy pulses. David had his pistol out, shooting any
that were far enough away, and slaughtering any that got close
with the chainsaw; yellowish acidic Minute Maid orange juice
spurting everywhere.
Sakura, meanwhile, got pinned against the wall, jabbing at
the things with her stick. They seemed amused by this.
"Eh, screw this," she shrugged. "SHINKUUU HADOKEN!!"
A wild blue ball of fire ripped through dozens of monsters
in a cataclysmic inferno. Gross after gross of the icky things
went up in smoke... along with most of her team. The threat was
over, and the others just sort of took a nice lie down to rest
and twitch.
"Errr... sorry," she apologized, scratching her head.
"Guess I got carried away..."
*
Meanwhile, in a much safer location, two figures and two
goons huddled around a small monitor.
"I don't like this," M.A.D. said. "We just finished
retooling him. That is a dangerous location for him to be in."
"Now now, we want our little toy to be as powerful as
possible, ne? Ne? Ne?" Devilot asked, poking M.A.D. a few
times. "For that, he needs training. For that, he needs a
training ground. And how lucky we were for this mountain of evil
to show up, AND to have that brat as bait to draw them in! You
see? Only the strong will reach him past the nightmares, giving
him prime hunting and cannon fodder! It is SO choice!
OOOHHOHOOOOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHHOOHOO!!!!!!!"
M.A.D. unplugged his ears. "Well, if he breaks down, I
suppose we always have the Final Upgrade available..."
*
The Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Scramble Team Beta sat
around inside a fairly safe part of the building, grumbling and
holding ice packs against their various burns and cuts.
"It was an accident," Sakura mumbled. "I said I'm sorry..."
"Whatever," David sighed. "Look, we need to get a move on.
Do we have any clue where Anita is? Any at all?"
"Skuld drew me a map," Kiyone said, unfolding it. "She said
the most likely place would be in the basement, next to the
Volatile Chemical Storage Room and the Nuclear Generator / Toxic
Waste Disposal Unit and Dynamite Stocks."
"Sounds fun!" B.B. giggled with glee. "Come on, everybody!
Cheer up, we're gonna blow everything to hell! There's gonna be
smoke, and explosions, and FIRE! YEAH, FIRE! FIRE, FIRE, FIRE--
Ow. That stick hurts, Sakura-chan."
"We'll be fine," David insisted. "When we set the bomb,
Skuld's supposed to hear our signal and come pick us up."
*
Skuld was meanwhile busy sitting in the APC monitoring the
team for safety and health via the careful process of ignoring
the monitors in favor of a TV playing Sailor Moon.
"Hee heee... Usagi's so funny," she giggled, eating some ice
cream out of a Dixie Cup.
*
The battle raged on for a whole six minutes.
B.B. came up with the clever strategy which the team
employed, which she called 'Run Really Fast To The Basement And
Shoot Anything You See Even If It Is Not Moving'. This amazing
gameplan carried them along monster-filled corridors and
stairwells by the simple process of slaughtering anything in
front of them and ignoring anybody coming up behind, with firm
belief that Skuld would bail them out once they had Anita.
"Hey, wait!" Kiyone yelled to the others, pumping six shots
into a nearby two-mouthed freak. "Why the hell are we fighting
our way down there and risking our necks if the APC could just
bust in on its own?!"
"..." David offered.
"That doesn't matter at the moment!" Sakura suggested,
lobbing small fireballs left and right. "Just kill anything with
more than one set of teeth and run!"
B.B. was really enjoying herself.
"WAHOO! WHEEEE! EAT THIS, YOU MARTIAN BASTARD!!" she
wailed, lobbing grenades around like water balloons and spraying
the halls with generous amounts of redhot uzi lead. "YEAH! YOU!
YOU WANT S'MORE?! YOU WANT IT?! DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE--"
"Yo! Hood! Chill!" David ordered. "I'm trying to follow
the map... turn left! No, MY left. Up ahead!"
The group skidded to a halt in front of a door bearing
various signs like WARNING, DANGER, HALT, GO AWAY, IF YOU VALUE
YOUR LIFE AT ALL FLEE IMMEDIATELY and WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? BEAT
IT and they opened those doors right up and went inside.
*
Inside was... quiet.
"It's quiet," Sakura noticed.
"TOO quiet," Hood nodded.
"Why did you say that?" David groaned. "Whenever someone
says it's 'too quiet' in an action movie, it suddenly gets very
loud because someone's being horribly killed."
"Well, excuuuuuse me for liking cliches!"
The group listened, waiting for it to get loud.
"It's still quiet," Sakura confirmed.
"Still TOO--"
"Shaddup," David ordered. "Look for a light switch. It's
freakin' dark in here. Fan out."
"But I thought in action movies, when the group spreads out,
they get picked off one by one?" Hood smirked.
The chainsaw toting boy ignored her, splitting off from the
group to feel along the walls. The others followed in turn.
"Anything?"
"Nope."
"Who asked 'anything?'"
"Me, duh."
"Yeah, but I can't see you."
"Then find the light switch."
"Hmmh."
"This is tricky..."
"Hey, did you just go 'hmmh'?"
"No. Why?"
"Well, I thought I heard that befAHRHGHGHAHAGRGHHH!!!"
Pause.
"Umm... David?"
Pause.
"Okay, David got whacked. Guys? Reform. The splitting up
thing wasn't wise..."
Pause.
"Guys? Umm... anyone? People? Hello? I AHAHRGGHHHH!!!!
MY EYES MY EYES M--ghgk..."
"Kiyone? KIYONE?? Ack. SOUND OFF!"
"Hood!"
"Sakura!"
Pause.
"Crap."
"Hey, Sakura, do me a favor?"
"Yeah?"
"Duck. I'm going to get postmodern on this thing's ass."
Sakura hit the floor, and the room lit up like a cheap
european discotheque; B.B. Hood had gotten out an M-60 from
somewhere, and the muzzle strobed light through the room, briefly
illuminating the horrid interior in minute flashes...
The beast attacking them was inhuman. It bore giant silvery
wings, and a single glowing red eye... a dark karate gi stained
with blood, and matching wooden sandals... and... and it was
about three feet tall.
Then the lighting was no longer a problem, as Chibi-Cyber-
Akuma opened a conduit from hell to pipe purple fire directly at
B.B. Hood.
The young girl was plastered against the wall, slammed an
inch into solid metal, before falling to the floor in an
unconscious thump.
Sakura gabbled, too stunned to really do anything coherent
about the single glowing eye of menace approaching her...
"You, I know," Chibi-Cyber-Akuma said. "You rejected my
teaching. Now... you die."
"But your shoelace is untied," Sakura pointed out.
The pint sized cybernetically enhanced demon looked down.
Sakura launched a three part uppercut combo on him, knocking
him flat. The red eye on his head went out.
Not one to gloat over a victory, she located Anita hidden in
a supply bin next to some volatile chemicals, planted the time
bomb B.B. Hood had prepared especially, and triggered the 'Get Me
The Hell Out of Here' signal for Skuld to come rescue them.
*
"Go Go Sailor Jupiter! Throw those oak leaves!" Skuld
cheered, munching popcorn as the panic light behind her flashed
in an electronic frenzy.
*
Time passed.
The bomb she had stupidly set before signaling for a pickup
was slated to atomize the building in five minutes.
This wasn't looking good.
Time to be clever. Sakura held the unconscious Anita up,
using her glow to light up the room, and spotted a Yggdrasil
Enterprises Power Loader Mecha, conveniently located in the
parking space marked PLOT DEVICES ONLY.
The exoskeletal suit had an equally convenient set of
rigging cables on the back, which she used to lash all her downed
companions onto the suit for rather awkward safekeeping. She
stepped into the loader's passenger seat, keeping Anita in the
harness with her, and fired the thing up.
Two tons of yellow metal rumbled to life. Giant pincher
hands whirrrred into place, and the loader was ready. This thing
could take down any alien bastards Sakura would bump into. It
was time to rock.
Unfortunately, it wasn't going to move fast enough to get
out of a bomb's radius in what was now four minutes, so she
loaded everybody into the back of the service elevator that was
nearby and had them up to the first floor in six seconds.
*
Skuld was surprised to look up and see Sakura tossing bodies
into the personnel carrier.
"Oh, hello. Are you done?" Skuld asked.
"Get us," Sakura wheezed, "OUT of here."
*
At one minute to go, Devilot beamed into the basement,
hanging her head.
"Sloppy design. My bad," she said. "Well, let's get you
back to the lab, boy. Loyal goons, if you will?"
Her two minions picked up the crumpled form of Chibi-Cyber-
Akuma, zipped him into a bag marked SPARE PARTS, and the group
beamed out just in time for the complex to burn like holy fire.
*
A mushroom cloud arose where Medical Complex LV426 once
stood, engulfing everything the zit on the face of Heaven into
one tidy little nuclear sphere of armageddon.
God watched the whole thing through Raybans. "Bitchin'," he
grinned. "What a way to kick off the fourth round of the
tournament!"
The injured and the maimed collapsed, more out of surprise
than pain.
"We have to go fight after THAT?!!" David gagged.
"Well, of course," the Lord replied. "We've got a schedule
to keep."
"Man, fighting to be God really sucks," B.B. Hood groaned.
Somewhere amongst the charred, twisted bits of metal and
dead splatters of ectoplasm was Kasumi Tendo, whistling a happy
little tune and cleaning up the mess.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
THE YGGDRASIL SUCCESSIONAL FIGHTING TOURNAMENT :
ROUND FOUR
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Okay, folks, this is near the end," God told the cameras.
"I'm happy to say that it's been a damn entertaining fight so
far, and it'll continue to be so as long as these foolish mortals
beat the snot out of each other for my own amusement. However,
there are rules, even though I continually bend them to satisfy
my own appetite for mayhem. The rules are as follows..."
1. Bouts last for ten minutes. Any which go over this
limit will be judged by megamis on hand, based on
whoever had the upper hand throughout the fight.
2. There will be no draws or double knockouts. Any fights
which cannot be determined in the ten minute period
will go into overtime; double knockouts will wait until
both fighters awaken and can continue.
3. Weapons are allowed of any kind.
4. Stepping out of the ring and into the shallow watery
moat around it counts as a Ring Out, and the opponent
in the ring wins.
5. All initial bouts were picked completely at random.
Progressive bouts will be organized by victors of
previous ones in standard pyramid fashion.
6. The winner after five rounds, the only undefeated
fighter, will be the one who becomes the creator and
god of all that exists.
"Now, because I'm getting bored and want to start my eternal
vacation soon, we're compacting the voting for Round Four and the
Final Round in one. So after you vote for R4, make sure you pick
who you want to win in each of the four combinations of who could
make it all the way. Got it? Simple, yes? I didn't make you
pathetic humans to be so idiotic as to not understand this.
We're on the level. SO! Onward towards the CARNAGE! YEAH,
BABY, YEAH!"
MATCH 1 : KASUMI vs. MARIO/NARU
Kasumi hummed the same happy tune she was whistling before,
but in a different key. This key was actually more joyful and
upbeat. It made the previous one look like a Nine Inch Nails
song.
She was feeling good. There was a bit of confusion over
some large evil castle or something, but it blew up and she
cleaned up the mess and now everything was tidy once more. Folks
seemed very happy, except for the ones that were bleeding.
Kasumi wasn't bleeding and therefore, she was happy.
Mario and Naru, however, were arguing.
"If we win the whole tournament, *I* wanna be god," Naru
said.
"You're-a too young to be god, kiddo," Mario laughed. "You
wait-a while, you grow up, then you can be god maybe unless I get
bored with the job..."
"Meanie! I wanna be god, ME ME ME ME!!!"
"Well, FINE! Then we won't-a use our combined Nario form
here to beat this girl! I'll beat her on my own, and then we'll-
a see who gets ta be god!"
"FINE!"
"Oh my, are you two having a fight?" Kasumi asked,
concerned. "You should be good to each other, all the time.
You're friends."
"Shaddup and fight," Mario spat.
"Would you like to see my pet?" Kasumi asked, taking her
Skuld-chan no Tamagotchi Plus Alpha out of her apron pocket.
Little Pichi happily wiggled its arms on the screen, and beeped
once for food.
"Yeah. Cute," Mario shrugged.
Then Pichi leapt out of the screen, to become a six foot
tall monster comprised entirely of little black and white dots
that left craters wherever it stepped.
BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEEEEEEEEEP, it intoned, like lead slabs falling on
coffins.
Mario sweatdropped. "Um, you can fight this one," he told
Naru. "I'm-a gonna get some pizza."
"Oh, no no, you should be god, it's okay, ne?" Naru giggled
nervously.
Pichi reached over with a dot matrix hand... and flicked
Mario's hat off his head, putting the jaunty little cap on its
own digital noggin.
BEEEEP BEEP! it taunted.
"...my hat," Mario gaped. "You... took... my... HAT! Naru!
Merge! POLYGON BOOLEAN UNION! We're-a gonna kick this thing
around a little!"
"Gosh," Kasumi expressed. "That would be very mean of you,
picking on poor Pichi. Pichi, please be safe!"
On the sidelines, Skuld rattled a noisemaker. "Tear 'em to
shreds, Pichi! Skuld Technology is NUMBER ONE!"
MATCH 2 : SAKURA vs. UKYOU
Things were much friendlier over at the second ring, where
Ukyou, Anita and Sakura were having a nice chat.
"If you want, you could come back to Nerima with me," Ukyou
said. "It's a bit stressful sometimes, but more fun than
wandering around with some silly Vampire Hunter."
"Really?" Anita asked, smiling a little too widely as she
tended to do now. "That'd be great!"
Sakura laughed. "I've GOT to visit this 'Nerima' place. If
it's half as weird as you've described it..."
"Half? Try twice as much!"
All the girls laughed, and everybody had a good time.
Except that it was the moment for the fight to begin.
Sakura and Ukyou took their positions in the ring, and Anita
headed to the sidelines, carrying her Mary, Queen of Scotts Doll.
"Okay, let's have a fair, friendly fight, alright?" Sakura
suggested. "None of us are really in it for the competition, so
let's just have a fun little match."
"Un!" Ukyou agreed. "No feelings hurt, no anger. We'll
just test our martial arts skills."
"Well, I'll warn you," Sakura laughed playfully... "I'm
pretty good against boys."
"So?"
"So I'll probably do very well against you!"
Ukyou's left eye twitched. "I'm... NOT a boy!"
"You're not?" Sakura asked, laughing stopping. "WOW! I
didn't realize! I mean, with that flat chest and those butch
clothes, I thought you were a man! Who'd have known? I was
gonna ask you out on a date, but David asked first, and--"
"I'm A GIRL!!" Ukyou yelled, swiping at Sakura with her
spatula in a vicious arc.
"Oi oi! Friendly match, remember?!" Sakura eeped, jumping
out of the way.
"Fine, SAILOR!"
"Grr... I am NOT A SAILOR SENSHI! I don't yell stupid
speeches or attack names or--"
"Oh yeah? What about yelling 'Shinkuu hadoken'? And you
keep flashing the crowd with those pretty red panties of yours!"
"OOOOH, you..."
"Come get some, Sailor Shotokan! Or do you need Tuxedo Dan
to bail you out?!"
"AAAAAA!!!"
The girls jumped each other.
"They're such good friends," Belldandy smiled. "Oh, and by
popular demand, let's peek in on that date Sephiroth won in the
mini-tournament..."
EXHIBITION MATCH 1 : URD vs. SEPHIROTH
"...there!" Urd exclaimed, digging the past of the loose
change out of the couch in her heavenly apartment. "That should
cover the Industrial Light and Magic bill."
Sephiroth stared at the 5 metric tons of change that Urd had
heaved out the window in little bags, to be picked up and
delivered later. "If I wasn't an unfeeling half-Jenova breed
savior and destroyer of the universe," he admitted, "That'd be
really impressive."
Urd dusted off her hands. "Okay, babes, time for our date.
You ready?"
The bishonen boy brushed his hair back. "I am ready."
"Great! I got us tickets to that new romantic movie, 'As I
Lay Crying'. It's supposed to be soooo dreamy and beautiful and
has great costumes and sets..."
"Forget it."
"...what?"
"I want to go to the chocobo races and place bets,"
Sephiroth said. "Then take you home and make sweet love down by
the fire."
Urd coughed. "I really think the movie would be a better
pick..."
"Races."
"Movie."
"Races!"
"MOVIE!!"
"Chocobo races or else."
"Or else WHAT?" Urd asked, gathering a ball of holy fire in
one hand.
Sephiroth drew his sword. "Or else I will have to assert
myself."
"How about this," Urd bargained. "I kick your ass, we go to
'As I Lay Crying'. You beat me, which you won't, and we go to
the Chocobo Races. Fair?"
"Fair," Sephiroth nodded, and the two clashed.
EXHIBITION MATCH 2 : RUMIKO TAKAHASI vs. KATSUHIRO OTOMO
Meanwhile, elsewhere in heaven, two angels were busy having
a quiet philosophical discussion over some green tea. One, the
writer of 'Ranma 1/2', 'Maison Ikokku' and 'Urusei Yatsura'. The
other developed 'Roujin Z', 'Memories', and 'Akira.'
"Anime," Rumiko explained, "Is meant to be lighthearted
whimsical entertainment. The stories don't really end, and
repeat familiar jokes again and again, so folks know what to
laugh at and can enjoy things. It's largely character driven and
if you have to lower the animation quality or pad out the stories
to make a hundred episodes or thirty two volumes or so, well, so
be it. That makes it anime."
Otomo shook his head. "Anime is an artform. It needs the
artistic integrity of a complete package. One whole story,
driven by emotions and concepts, with attention to detail and
motion. There's little difference between a live action movie
and an anime; they're both there to stimulate an emotional
reaction in the audience. To do that, you need to be innovative
and sincere, and achieve an artistic whole."
Rumiko considered this. "I'm afraid I don't agree with you,
Otomo-san. We have a difference of opinion."
Otomo nodded. "Well, we'll just settle it in the most
rational, mature fashion possible."
"Knife fight?"
"Yes, a knife fight."
Both drew inch long blades, hurling the tea and the table
aside, circling each other menacingly.
"I swear I'm going to tear your guts out and hang you by
them, you pseudo-intellectual rat bastard," Rumiko snarled.
"Not before I rip you open rectum to sternum so you stop
torturing Japan with your boring crap, you bitch," Otomo
retorted. And both lunged at each other with murderous intent
and the fury of the blood in their eyes.
(If you think this is bad, you should see when Shirow and
Oshii went at it over 'Ghost in the Shell'.)
"Okay, this is it!" the Lord proclaimed excitedly. "This is
the last vote! We're giving you a little extra time so you can
get those votes in, and so you can sit on the edge of your seat
waiting to see how it all turns out. What's it going to be?
Will Kasumi clean up this town? Will Naru and Mario get to
become co-rulers of reality? Is Ukyou going to rule over the
world with an iron spatula? Or will Sakura declare that Ryu-sama
be brought to her to feed her grapes and fan her?"
"Just give them the form already," Skuld suggested.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO CAST THE DECISIVE VOTE THAT CHANGES FATE!!!
As is customary in reader-polled tournament fanfic, YOU decide
who wins what fights! If you've read this far, you're probably
interested in how it turns out, ne? It'll turn out how the
majority of readers decide. DON'T DELAY! Mail in this form
today! It takes very little of your time, and if everybody who's
enjoyed this series so far votes, we'll have a better fanfic for
all concerned.
When deciding, consider all of the following...
* Who conceivably would win, given the strengths of these
characters and their abilities?
* Who SHOULD win if you had anything to say about it, because
they deserve it?
* Who would make for a funnier fight later on if they won?
What would maximize your entertainment value?
* If you can't decide, perhaps you could flip a coin?
Cut and paste the following form, putting X's in the boxes where
appropriate, and mail to the given address. THE DEADLINE FOR
SUBMISSIONS IS DECEMBER 1st, 1997! After that, no more votes
will be accepted, and Round 4 will be tallied, written and in the
books. Good luck and may the weirdest one win!
.----------------------------------------------.
| ROUND 4 PAIRINGS : |
| [ ] Kasumi vs. [ ] Mario/Naru |
| [ ] Sakura vs. [ ] Ukyou |
| [ ] Urd vs. [ ] Sephiroth |
| [ ] Rumiko vs. [ ] Otomo |
| |
| FINAL ROUND POSSIBLE PAIRINGS : |
| Vote for each one, since they're all poss. |
| [ ] Kasumi vs. [ ] Sakura |
| [ ] Mario/Naru vs. [ ] Sakura |
| [ ] Kasumi vs. [ ] Ukyou |
| [ ] Mario/Naru vs. [ ] Ukyou |
| |
| Comments about the fic series so far : |
| ____________________________________________ |
| ____________________________________________ |
| ____________________________________________ |
| |
| MAIL TO : twoflowr@glue.umd.edu |
| SUBJECT : Tournament Voting Submission |
| DEADLINE : December 1st, 1997 |
`----------------------------------------------'
DO NOT E-MAIL A FORM IF IT IS PAST DEADLINE!
Do not e-mail empty forms!
Do not e-mail incomplete forms!
You'll be wasting my time and yours.
Be cool. :)
Thank you, and enjoy the rest of Spoof Chase's MAGICAL
TROUBLESHOOTING CROSSOVER FIGHTING TOURNAMENT BETA.
-Stefan Gagne