(You know the deal for these things by now. In a dark room, a cloaked man
walks out of the shadows. It's that guy from I'm Here to Help, whom I still
haven't bothered giving a name. From the other side, comes his reviewing
partner, Neo-Queen Serenity)
?: Die!!! (jumps towards Serenity, his hands outstretched into claws)
(Ummm...{As sounds of a green haired guy getting severely blasted echoes in
the background.} Let's try that again...)
(We see the guy, healed from his encounter with the Neo-queen, and Mars, the
fire Senshi of Crystal Tokyo, once known as Rei Hino. They are giving each
other the evil eye, but at least they're not trying to kill each other. Yet.)
Rei: So I'm the 'token' anime presence. Why are you here anyway?
?: I'm here--
Rei: Say it and I'll throw a fireball down your throat.
?: No need for all these hot flushes, Rei-chan. I'm here to give an unbiased
view on the Sailor Moon elements.
Rei: Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
?: Was it something I said?
At 05:25 PM 9/11/97 -0700, Chris Davies wrote:
TOGETHER AGAIN
1996 Chapter
ACT TWO
AKANE (V.O.)
There were quite a few important
things on the second day which went
on before sunrise. For example --
Cut to a street in Nerima, rather cold and sterile in the moonlight.
AYEKA walks down the street, clutching her arms to herself to hold in
heat, and looking about anxioulsy.
?: anxioulsy. I went there once. Somewhere in Germany, I believe.
Rei: Are you going to nitpick all the way through?
?: It's all in the details, if someone doesn't want spelling errors noted,
they should say so. And it was anxiously, of course.
AYEKA hears a scuffling noise behind her, and begins walking again, doing
her best to show no fear. We see her passing an alley ... and then the
GANGERS crawl out of the shadows of the alley. They are an extremely
scruffy looking company; if this were a few decades down the road, one
would expect them to have very obvious cyberwear. As it is, they have
tatoos, broken teeth, hair that looks like it should be on the head of a
?: tattoos
Dragonball charcter, etc. They head out of the alley and start following
?: character
AYEKA. She hears them, and her face shows her concern.
?: Oh gods... if a male has to save her, please, please shoot me.
Rei: Gladly. Actually, you'd have to wonder about the life expectancy of
gangers in a place like Nerima. When you consider that even someone
who looks like a twelve year old girl could beat you, I don't think
these guys are very smart.
?: Yes, I'd rather be a rampaging youma at a Senshi convention. These men are
obviously rather stupid.
(The two look uncomfortable at agreeing on something)
GANGER #3 backs away from AYEKA, clutching the sensitive section of his
anatomy that she hs just kneed. Nearby, an authoritative GANGER wearing
wire-rim glasses sighs deeply.
GANGER #4
When will you guys learn to hold
their feet when you're doing this
routine? Short ONe, go handle it.
?: Short One, I presume.
GANGER #5
Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!
?: You've given this one a name, why not use it? Makes it less confusing in
a group scene, and makes it feel more like the gangsters have more than
one dimension.
Rei: Like you can talk, Mr "I can't remember my name".
?: *cough*
GANGER #4
<mournful> Oh, *dung*.
?: Bugger.
Rei: Damn.
?: Shit.
Sailor Jupiter:(pokes head in door) Not to mention F--
Rei: Okay, okay! We get the idea! Dung is a bit strange, that's all.
?:(as Jupiter leaves) Still, change is good. But it does sound strange, yes.
The GANGERS' heads turn as one to look at a nearby rooftop. SHAMPOO is
sitting on the edge, her legs dangling, and smiling almost coquettishly.
SHAMPOO
<waves fingers> Hello, boys!
Shampoo *so* glad to see you out of
hospital again. Shampoo *miss* you
tons and tons!
Rei: They've been through this before? And they hung around?
?: Stupid.
Rei: Terminally stupid.
GANGER #4 looks down at GANGER #5.
GANGER #4
It has been nice to know you.
?: While Gangers 1 throught to 3 share a group hug, crying because at least
4 and 5 got more than a line or two each before they got wasted.
And then she leaps down, and the fight begins. It is horribly uneven.
The GANGERS are more interested in getting the hell away from her than in
fighting with her, but she declines to let them have that option. O
?: Of course
course, AYEKA gets loose during the fight, and triest to stay the heck out
Rei: and tries
of the crazy melee. Unfortunately, one of the GANGERS gets knocked back
into her, causing her to fall to the ground, and scattering her purse.
AYEKA quickly gets back up and anxiously checks to see that the sailor
fuku is undamaged, thus not noticing the condition of her purse, nor the
small piece of paper which has landed in a muddy puddle. A few moments
later, it's all over. A few of the GANGERS are littered unconsciously
over the landscape, but most of them have been put to flight. SHAMPOO
surveys the area with a disatisfied expression. When she speaks next it
is in Mandarin.
She starts to gather up her possessions. SHAMPOO watches curiously.
AYEKA finally comes to the piece of paper in the muddy puddle. She stares
at hthe ruined railpass with a look of horror.
?: the ruined
AYEKA produces a half-melted phone card from her purse. SHAMPOO blinks.
SHAMPOO
I didn't know it was *possible* to
go that far over the limit.
Rei and ?: AH! Shampoo spoke a normal sentence!!!
Rei: Maybe she just dropped the bimbo act for a fellow alien though.
?: Perhaps. I think you're right, actually. Oh, and that Shampoo line was
quite amusing too.
Cut to AETHAN perched on the edge of the roof of a twenty-story building,
?: Must be a library, I suppose?
Rei: What?
?: Well, he said it was a twenty story building...
Rei:(throws a blast of fire at the man, who crisps quite nicely) So he meant
storey! You whine almost as much as Usa-- er... Sailor Moon did, when she
was still around.
looking much like a gargoyle. He does not move, he does not breathe. His
eyes stare down at the ground without really seeing.
Cut to the flashback. AETHAN reaches out and takes MINAKO's hand in his.
An ofuda streaks out of the darkness and slams into AETHAN's face, right
between the eyebrows. MINAKO stares at it, confused. AETHAN slowly
reaches up to tear the scroll off of his face, and stands, his fangs
clearly in evidence.
Rei: Haha! Nice shot!
MICHAEL
This is "marching orders" for you, I
guess. You have to protect the misty
cloud, at all costs. <beat> Does
that make *any* sense to you?
?: Later that night, Aethan stood on a skyscraper, his eyes firmly affixed on
a cloud. "I don't know how this is going to help any..." he muttered, as
he continued his guard.
NINIANE opens the door to the garage and marches across the concrete
floor, the clacking of her high heels blends with the sounds of manual
labor. She approaches what looks like a firing range, where ANDREW,
STENGOVITCH, and a short, wiry man in his early forties (BRAN) are engaged
in some work on a pair of large, cyllindrical devices with glass globes on
the business end pointed at a wall of foam padding. They are mounted on
the back of a heavy truck, with a seat placed between them. ANDREW, who
has been tinkering with the globe on the right side of the seat, finally
nods to himself.
Rei: (rubs temple) Argh! So many people! This is getting hard to keep track of!
ANDREW
Reason Number One: Making sure no
one else has it. Reason Number Two:
Like I said, it's a Dragonslayer.
NINIANE looks at ANDREW as though she's not quire sure if he's sane or
?: not quite
not. He returns her look with inscrutability.
RANMA
He'll never make it. When we were
kids he got lost in a --
NABIKI
Ranma, *dear*, I would love to hear
many stories of the halcyon days of
the youth of Saotome and Hibik,
?: Hibik? Is this one of those new characters?
Rei: I guess he meant Hibiki.
teenage martial arts demigods, but
only when I'm trying to cope with
insomnia. <beat> He'll show. I
told him Akane would be here.
RYOUGA looks at the confused OLD WOMAN for a second.
RYOUGA
<stubborn> It could happen.
Rei: Dieties, he's really stuck in his hate.
?: This from the person who tried to flambe me back in 2592 for no good reason.
Rei: You'd just tried to blow up the palace while Serenity was in it!
?: See, you're giving in to your hate, Rei-chan.
AKANE (V.O.)
Okay. Well before this point, I had
more or less figured out that Ryouga
had a crush of sorts on me, which
explained why Ukyou had always been
able to manipulate him like she had.
It was still a shock to discover
just how ... obsessed he was about
me ...
Rei: Perhaps I should start taking psychic lessons from Akane.
?: She does seem to be rather omniscient. That's fine in an anonymous narrator,
but how does she find out all these things? I could see the others telling
her about things like Ayeka's encounter with Shampoo, but I could never see
Ryouga telling Akane about his little fantasies. I hope there's an
explanation for this eventually.
Cut to a strange, surreal place. RYOUKO stares directly at our point of
view, her face set in a strange smile.
RYOUKO
<sultry> Well, well ... this is very
interesting. You've made my life a
living hell, and now I find out the
reason. <beat> You. Want. Me.
(Rei and ? look at each other)
?: So, do you have dreams about me?
Rei: Only about seeing you defeated.
?: Kinky. Anyway, at least we've got the obligatory lesbian scene out of
the way.
WASHUU
<*very* controlled> I'm doing a very
dangerous experiment, MIhoshi. You
?: Mihoshi, of course, not MIhoshi. You know, Mihoshi scares me. I get the
feeling she's more powerful than she seems. Look at the way she just got
into that secured lab...
Rei: Maybe she's actually a goddess, sent to ensure that Washu doesn't go
too far in her excesses.
?: Or a demon. If she's a goddess, I wonder what sacrilige Kiyone performed in
a past life to deserve what she got...
are very lucky that I'm taking a
break, or you might have had your
molecules scattered over a hundred
thousand alternate universes.
WASHUU steals a look over her shoulder. TENCHI nods a few times, and
hangs up. WASHUU winces at the imagined noise, and turnst back to look at
?: turns
MIHOSHI.
UKYOU
It's true enough. I honestly wanted
to kill her rather than let her
marry you. <beat> Before I would
have let that happen, I owuld have
?: would
killed her, you, the Tendous, your
father, your *mother* ... and I
would have laughed as I did. I'd
laugh and laugh and --
?: Seems fair enough to me.
Rei: You would say that.
RANMA
You didn't *suceed*. <deep breath>
?: Your turn.
Rei:(shrugs) succeed
You were sick, Ucchan! Do you think
I'm gonna go hating you 'cause you
were sick?
UKYOU
Yes ... you *are that imtimidating
?: I guess you need another asterisk in there somewhere. And it's intimidating.
Whenever I see you, I see the little
boy who always managed to defeat me
every day as I defended my father's
okonomiyaki cart --
RANMA
<strangled> Ucchan?
UKYOU
Yes, Ranchan?
RANMA
I can't breathe.
?: Ah, that same loving, caring, selfless Ranma we've all come to know and
love.
Rei: You're just jealous because someone actually loves him.
?: Oh, and when's the last century you had a date, Rei-chan?
RANMA bends down and starts taking large, savage bites out of his
okonomiyaki. UKYOU stares up at the ceiling with a beatific look on her
?: beautific. Lucky Ukyou's over that love thing, hey?
Rei: Love doesn't just fade away. Even you know that. Stepping aside for
someone else is hard. Damn hard, harder than anything you'll ever do
with all your hate.
face and whispers (as though *screaming*) "Thank you". She reverts to
normal before RANMA looks up.
POLICE #2
<soft> I *think* it was something
about the condition of the body
when he saw it. Are you sure that
we don't have anything on this
guy?
POLICE #1
Apparently, there was a file, but
it kept getting lost or misplaced.
Rei and ?: <chuckle>
ANDREW
Okay, go ahead, laugh. Meanwhile,
Kunikida's getting permission from
the Japanese government for us to
come in and investigate. I presue
that you want in.
?: presue? He's a lawyer?
Rei: I presume so.
?: (slaps hand to face and groans) I liked you better when you had no sense
of humour.
RAYE
Because I don't *trust* that guy!
He's gonna break her heart, if he
doesn't actually *hurt* her in a
physical sense, and I wouldn't be
surprised if he did.
?: You have a crush on him, don't you?
Rei: I DO NOT!
AMY
Raye, by all accounts, Aethan is
a decent entitly. I don't think
?: entity
this is a terribly rational way of
dealing with any *potential*
problem that he might pose to her.
RAYE
I'm not a terribly rational person.
AMY
<cool> I'd noticed.
Rei: Even Ami's against me!
?: You are a bit of a bitch in this one though, so far.
Rei: (counts silently to three)
?: Not that that's a change for you, of course.
RYOUKO
Okay, okay, I *promise* that I won't
try anything with Ayeka ...
?: That could certainly be taken a couple of ways...
KENT
Did you recieve this from your
?: receive
"mysterious patron"?
RAYE (O.S.)
Hold it right there!
RYOUKO halts, and slowly turns towards the sound of the voice. Sailor
Mars, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Venus are all standing on
various objects that lift them a level above her head. RYOUKO blinks.
?: Do you girls actually believe in giving a monster time to explain before
you zap it?
Rei: What about you? You've probably killed more youma than us!
?: Yes, but I'm not trying to claim I do it for 'good' or anything.
RYOUKO is pissed.
Rei: We're dead. Back then, at least, we're dead.
MIHOSHI
I'm sorry, Ayeka-san, I'm *so* sorry
that you had to come all the way to
Tokyo to get that stuff so that
Sasami could make haggis and ... oh,
this is all too dramatic!
?: Heh.
Rei: Ha!
Cut to the exit of the shopping mall. KENT exits, looking very
distracted. Immediately after he wanders out of sight, the crowd bursts
out the door, still panicing.
?: panicking
AKANE (V.O.)
All the pieces were in place. The
Adversary was there. The heroes had
been gathered. And I was there, as
well. <beat> The last Gathering of
the Palladins had begun.
?: I thought the word was spelt Paladins. Oh well.
TO BE CONTINUED
Rei: Cliffhanger ending? I hate Cliffhanger endings! (Lobs a fire soul at
the fanfic)
?: Epics can be so draining to read.
Rei: Lucky this is a good one. Even with the slander on my character!
?: I'm sure you'll be redeemed sooner or later. Aethan will save you, or
vice versa, and you'll be bosom buddies...
Rei: *snorts* Not likely.
?: Anyway, that's that for this review. She's the bitchy fire starter.
Rei: And he's the souless killer scum.
? and Rei: See you next time!
************
Mark Doherty - mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au
My spam/fanfics are at -
http://www.tass.org/~mdoherty/index.html
"Time grows short, but I remain tall."