[For the third time in a day, Andrew, Nanami, and Gaspode the Wonder Dog
are sitting in Andrew's common room.]

Andrew: I swear, Nanami, at the rates you're charging for these reviews,
I'm gonna go broke.

Nanami: [sweetly] It's not my fault that you're so fond of my company for
this stuff.

Gaspode: Hey, Mister Andrew, your account slip is showing.

Andrew: Gack! [tucks away his checkbook]

PM Productions Presents
A Phillip Masters Fanfic
Size Matters

Andrew: I'm worried, now.

Nanami: Hey, isn't this Phillip guy the one who wrote...never mind.

[Gaspode looks at her quizzically.]

     "Mine's bigger."
     "It is?"
     "Yeah, look at the stats..."

[Andrew and Nanami sweatdrop. Gaspode just yawns and scratches himself.]

     "I'll be damned, you right."  Shinji turned to Misato, "Why is her
Prog Knife larger than mine?"

[Facefaults from the humans.]

     Katsuragi Misato yawned as she answered, "Simple, she's better at
using it than you."
     "Of course I'm better!"  Asuka replied, as expected.  Shinji pretty
much ignored it.  He was used to being put down.
     "What does skill have to do with it?"  He asked.  "I mean, what if
that extra few meters is what will mean the difference between life and
death one day?"
     Asuka and Misato turned and stared at Shinji.  "Don't you think
that's a bit much?" began Misato, "bit of a doomseer today aren't we?"

Andrew: Interesting point, though. Why _does_ Asuka have that larger
knife, and Shinji doesn't? I mean, might as well equip all of them with
the best possible weaponry.

Nanami: And isn't Shinji the one with the better combat record? He's
pretty handy with that knife.

     "Anyway," Asuka added, "It's not size that's important, it's what
you do with it."

[Andrew and Nanami groan.]

     Misato snickered.
     "What?"  Asuka admonished.
     She just grinned and waved a hand.
     Asuka 'humphed' and turned back to Shinji.  "You should practice
more with it if you think you aren't good enough with it."
     "Misato?"  Shinji questioned, worridly, "Why are you turning red?"
     Misato spit out a little beer trying to stop herself from laughing.
"Nothing!  Nothing!"  She assured, "It's nothing."
     Asuka and Shinji looked at each other and shrugged.  Then, he
continued the conversation, "I practice all the time!  I practice so
much my arm hurts!"

[Nanami turns green. Andrew is holding his head in his hands, as if in
pain.]

Gaspode: Ah. Yeth. Another one of those human fings. I must find out about
that someday. Oh, yeth.

     That was the end of it for Misato.  She jumped up and ran,
laughing, from the room.
     The two children sprouted about ten sweatdrops apiece.  Shinji
turned to Asuka, "What in the world was that all about?"
     At first, Asuka just shook her head.  Then, she looked lost in
thought for a second.  Her eyes lit up, and she stared at a startled
Shinji.  "Oh, my God!"  she exclaimed.

Andrew: Well, she finally seems to have gotten it.

Nanami: Gack.

     Shinji just looked confused.  "What?"
     She leaned over and whispered in his ear.  His eyes went wide for a
moment.  Then, he looked thoughtful.  "I wonder if it's true?"  he asked
after a second.
     Asuka shrugged, "How am I supposed to know?"
     Shinji stared at Asuka for a few moments, both quiet.  Suddenly, he
blushed.  He leaned over and whispered in her ear.  She turned a light
shade of pink.  
     Asuka looked Shinji up and down a few times.  Then, she shrugged
and nodded.  They both got up and went into his room, shutting the door
behind them.

Andrew: Uhhh....

Nanami: Shades of "Fulfillment", here.

Andrew: You read a LEMON!?

Nanami: [turning bright red] Ah...hey! YOU read it too!?

[They stare at each other, trying to out-blush and out-glare the other.]

Gaspode: [amusedly] Why, do I detect some friction, here?

-----FOUR HOURS LATER------
     Misato came back into the house.  She just had to get out and tell
someone about what had happened.  It was one of the funniest things
she'd ever heard, what those two were talking about.  Ritsuko and Kaji
had thought so.  Though, she still could feel the sting on her fingers
from slapping Kaji when he threw his two cents in on the subject.

     Nobody seemed to be home.  Misato wondered where Shinji and Asuka
could have gotton off to.  
     Just then, the door to Shinji's room opened.  Asuka sort of slid
out, wearing nothing but one of Shinji's school shirts.  She leaned back
against the door frame and smiled at Misato.  "Man, I love being right."
she sighed euphorically.

Andrew and Nanami: -_-;;

Gaspode: "slid out". How very wossname. Comfortable.

     Misato just sort of blinked a few times.  She just about fell over
when Shinji came out.
     He was in a robe, and wearing quite a smug expression.  One usually
found on Asuka.  He walked past a shocked Misato and into the kitchen.
A moment later he came back out with two cups of tea.  He handed one to
Asuka, who smiled almost predatorily at him.  They both then disappeared
back into the room, sliding the door shut once again.

Andrew: [faintly] I'm having a difficult time deciding whether Asuka and
Shinji really _are_ doing...it, or just messing with Misato's mind.

Nanami: [also faintly] I don't think it matters. Misato's head is going
through the blender either way...

Andrew: ...resulting in a nice exotic cocktail, no doubt.

Gaspode: Wif an umbrella in it.

     Misato coughed, knocking herself out of her trance.  She stared at
the door for a second longer.  Then, she turned about and left the house
again.  For some reason, she really needed to see Kaji again all the
sudden.  Not to mention a bottle of, at least, one-fifty liquor.

Gaspode: So, she, how do you humans say, wants...thingy, wossname...some.
Yeth, that's right.

END
That was done mostly in fun, I was bored, yadda yadda yadda... send
comments and the like.  Thanks for reading...

Andrew: I worry about this fellow, sometimes.

[Nanami nods.]

Andrew: I was going to invite you into my bedroom to show you the updates
I made on my shrine with my computer, but it probably wouldn't be a good
idea, after that.

Nanami: Ah. Yes.

Gaspode: Are you two just going to sit there wif your eyes glazed over
like that?

>From Andrew Huang, brought to you by his computer, Oddzilla
Oddzilla says, "Mmmmm...Evanjellydonut...."
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/
Harvard Anime Society, Secretary