Mister Panda wrote:

This story fits into continuity after EVA (0:6) and is a
rewrite of the rest of the series. This story also contains
what some might think of as spoilers. I am still at a loss
as to how you can spoil a rewrite of the universe, but I
should still warn against them because they do involve
chapters of the original story which come into play later
on.

Hey, I can put spoilers into an altered universe.  Really easy to do
in fact :)

        These realities may meet certain parallels at which
the souls experiencing each reality may lapse into the same
reality, either forever or until one of the soul's realities
splits apart and follows a different path from then on.

Hrm...maybe not souls.  How about using wording like they used in ep.
16?  Something similar to:  "There is the Shinji Ikari in Asuka
Soryuu's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Rei Ayanami's mind..."  I'm not
sure how you'd want to word it, but I don't think souls is quite
appropriate.

        Turning slightly red, Asuka stormed to her room,
and retrieved her alarm clock.Returning, she plugged it in, set the
time to 12:00 AM and the alarm to 12:01 AM at the maximum volume.
Placing this noisebomb next to Shinji's head, Asuka grinned evilly
and held her ears to block the forthcoming onslaught.

Is this to mean she couldn't use Shinji's alarm clock for the task?

        The alarm exploded into action a few seconds later,
announcing its presence in that annoying way that alarm
clocks do, usually making you bash it with a good sized
sledge. Shinji seemed totally oblivious to this, and Asuka
was contracting a strange affliction of the hearing commonly
referred to as a ringing in the ears. Shutting off the
device, she glared at the slumbering boy.

I've always had the impression that Shinji was a light sleeper, but I
think this still works, it has the amusement factor which I always
approve of.  :)

Asuka began to push herself up, again straddling Shinji, placing
her arms to either side of his head for balance. This was
the precarious scene that Misato Katsuragi walked in on as
she opened the sliding door to see what could cause such an
ungodly amount of racket (other than her, according to Kaji,
of course).

hehehe...  Misato, "I'll give you twenty minutes."   ....sorry,
couldn't resist putting a Starship Trooper quote in :)

her voice, she spoke, "I... I never knew you were so.. so...
aggressive, Asuka... Uh... I'll just leave you two alone..."
Quickly turning, Misato closed the door behind her as she
retreated to the bath and her own introspection.

I was right!  :P

        Misato decided to confront the two about the earlier
incident later. Right now, she wanted a beer. Maybe three.

After that, maybe a few shots of something more stiffer...too bad I've
never seen hard alcohol in the apartment.  Guess she'll have to settle
for beer afterall :)Overall impression:  Its good.  I like it,
especially with the mixing of light, amusing parts put into it.  I
can't really say much else to to improve the fic.  I look forward to
reading more.

Captain Jack