On Sat, 08 Nov 1997 20:23:49 +0100, Ronny Hedin <thark@swipnet.se>
wrote:

 Feeling observed, Akane turned around, immediately staring straight into
Ranma's eyes. At first, she was about to get irritated, shout at him, ask why
he was staring at her, but she stopped herself, bending her lips into a soft
smile, and with a wink, turned back to face the front of the class again.

So why did she decide to do this?

                                  ***

 When she turned around, Ranma's heart flew up to his mouth, and he started
moving his hands towards his face, already feeling the pain he was about to
recieve.

receive

 It never came, and he just kept staring, his jaw hanging dangerously low.

 She ... smiled?

 No, he'd never be be able to understand.

Take out one 'be'.

 Genma's hand crept slowly towards his son's plate. If the boy noticed, he
didn't reveal it. Closer... Closer... Then, the hand grabbed some of the
food, and brought it to its masters mouth, almost to fast for the eye to

its master's mouth, almost too fast

follow.

 Ranma still didn't acknowledge that he had noticed it. He just kept looking
at his food, eating in a normal - for him, snail-like - pace. _Mustn't..._ he
thought, hands itching to retaliate. _Musn't make a mess, or start a brawl._

Mustn't. And easier said than done... :)

 "Well..." Ranma scratched the back of his head nervously, blushing slightly
as he walked off. "See ya tommorow, then!"

tomorrow

 "Please," he whimpered, "please don't." He shivered, his voice sounding
somehow very patethic. "Please stop. Please."

pathetic

 _Someone must've turned of the video,_ she thought. Her power was draining.
She wouldn't last for long without the renewal of power. A day. Perhaps
somewhat more.

Can't she go down and turn it back on?

 She was supposed to be perfect. Young, beatiful, innocent yet charming.

beautiful

But ... he had seemed almost scared of her.

 She appeared because he was in desperate need of some cheering up. Had
she suceeded? All her attempts had just made things worse, made his life more

succeeded

miserable.

 Was she a total failure?

I like this. I haven't seen VGAI, but this kind of development makes
Yuko a much more interesting character than I expected she'd be. I'd
like to know more of the way she thinks. How does she feel about her own
virtual existence?

 "Please?" Her voice was low, almost unhearable.

 Even Ranma had some weaknesses, among them girls on the verge of crying.
"Y-yes, sure, of course."

The story of his life... :)

 When he said he just came for the food, she had finally seen the truth,
seen trough the lie she had been living for too long.

through. (And what took you so long, Ukyo? :-P)

 "So ... you came." It was just a whisper. She sank to her knees, no longer
able support herself.

able to support

Is this the end? I'm not certain. There *is* a fair number of hanging
threads (not just the Ranma/Akane-relation, which I never intended to fully
solve). What happens with the tape / cover? What's Ryouga up to? What'll
Shampoo and her great-grandmother do? Those, and others, are questions I'm
not sure I really want to, or even should.

Well, I hope you continue. This was a good chapter, but it really needs
a more definite conclusion than this, IMO. Anyway, I enjoyed it!


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics