This is part of the gear-up for the posting of part 10. People who've read
only the later parts of this series often have no idea what the point of
this series is. So, here it is, the installment that started it all.
=====
Gratuitous Self
PART 1:
---
Takezo sat in front of his PC, eager to write down a ton of ideas coming
from his so-called and self-proclaimed creative mind.
Actually, what happened was this; Takezo, a relative newbie at anime,
watched several episodes of Ranma and wondered what it would be like to be a
part of that reality.
Mistaking these random daydreams for an original idea, he set about writing
a story where he would be the silent yet powerful type lurking around among
the unnoticed students of Furinkan High.
---
An excerpt from 'Turning Road' by Musashi Takezo
...I'm too late to save her, thought Ranma frantically as he dove to catch
Nabiki from falling from the school balcony. She had been caught in the
crossfire of a deadly duel between Ranma and Ryoga, and was accidentally
pushed off the balcony.
"NOOO!!! Somebody catch her!!!"
Suddenly, from the crowd watching below, a shadowy figure, almost a blur,
leapt up and caught the falling Nabiki.
Their eyes met.
Nabiki's breath caught in her throat. Who was this knight in shining armor
that came to save her? "Who...?"
"Shhh," the figure replied. He gently set her down on the ground.
He didn't look all that different from the average male Japanese high
school student. He was in the usual school uniform, and didn't look all that
dashingly handsome...except...except that he exuded a quiet sort of power
that one wouldn't notice at first glance.
"Um...", started Nabiki.
"Yes? What is it?"
"May I know your name?"
"It's Takezo. Musashi Takezo."
Nabiki could only look in awe as the mysterious and powerful Takezo leaped
into the air and disappeared in a blur...
---
"It's perfect!", exclaimed Takezo as he finished writing. He immediately
sent it off to all of his friends, and also on the fanfic mailing list,
eager to share his daydream with the rest of the otaku world.
His friends, being the friends that they were, simply said that the fanfic
was 'a good start' and that he should keep at it, although they began to
talk about his delusions behind his back.
The fanfic mailing list, however, was not as kind.
"Nabiki is out of character! Ranma is out of character! Ryoga is out of
character! The whole damn fanfic is out of character!"
"Except Kuno. He's still an idiot. How convenient for Takezo, eh?"
"Drivel. 'Nuff said."
"The word 'feh' comes to mind...and feh isn't even a word!"
"If I had a dime for every fanfic like this ever posted on this mailing
list....."
Takezo was crushed. How could his masterpiece come under so much criticism
from the mailing list? His friends said they liked his fanfic, so at first
he couldn't understand why everyone on the list hated it. Then he thought of
how people don't appreciate writing 'before its time'. Then he thought
everyone was just jealous because he and Nabiki hit it off so well.
Finally, a kind (relativistically speaking, of course) soul on the list
told him bluntly what he had to do.
"Something has to set it apart from all the other fanfics."
Okay. Fine then.
---
...Nabiki stared in shock.
Takezo was gone.
In his place was a cold, dripping wet, and miserable talking car.
"Now you know my secret," the car said. "You know my deepest darkest
secret. That I really am.....KITT."
---
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!", said the now irritated relatively kind soul.
"So what did you mean?"
"I meant that the whole damn thing's too self-glorifying!"
"Really? In what way?"
"Argh..."
After one hundred and twenty-six clues, Takezo finally got what the
relatively kind soul meant.
---
Nabiki sneered at the pathetic wimp before her. "What a total loser you
are. You can't fight, you're not cute, you take me out to this cheap pizza
place, and now you don't bring any money to pay for the tab?! What did you
expect, that I'D pay for it?"
"Yes, my queen, you are right, I am but a sniveling fool under the sole of
your lovely shoe..."
"You're damn right I'm right! If I DO pay for you, will you become my
personal slave?"
"Yes, mistress, anything you say...."
---
"Hmm," thought the relatively kind soul. "That's an interesting spin on the
story."
"But I don't feel right about writing this way. I mean, this is myself I'm
making a fool out of."
"If it works...."
"No! I won't have it!"
"Calm down, Takezo. She doesn't have to treat you like dirt, you know. Just
don't glorify yourself too much."
"But...But I need a hook for the story, like you said."
"You'll think of something."
---
Takezo and Nabiki were walking to school together when Nabiki noticed
something in the sky, and, like she always did, deftly avoided potential
trouble without telling the people around her. Consequently, Takezo never
saw what hit him.
Takezo climbed out of the tangled mess of cords and fabric, as did another
person. Takezo pointed his finger at the newcomer and said, "Just who the
hell are you, anyway?!"
The newcomer simply smiled, combed his hair, dusted himself off and said,
"My name...
"...is Shutaro Mendou."
---
"What do you mean, I have to change it?! What is it this time?!"
The relatively kind soul replied, "Oh, it's a bit better, this time, except..."
"Except what?!"
"Except Timerunner's already doing the 'Mendou comes to Furinkan' bit."
(At this point, the writer of this story about an writer writing the story
is growing tired of typing 'relatively kind soul' over and over again, so,
for the purpose of KISS [Keeping it simple, stupid], the story will now
refer to the 'relatively kind soul' as Bob.)
Finally, Bob (creative name, huh) and Takezo decided on a fairly simple
premise for the story, one that would not overly glorify the main character
(who, by some strange coincidence, was also named Takezo) and would not have
people act out of character ("NABIKI DOES NOT FAWN OVER ANYONE!!!). Bob's
advice was...
True, the story was not going to please everybody, but hey, that's the
number one rule when it comes to writing fanfics (or any story, for that
matter).
You can never please everybody.
---
[Final Version of 'Turning Road]
"No way!"
In Furinkan High's study hall, a discussion of sorts between two friends
was taking place.
"Yes way. Nabiki Tendo's conned yet another hapless infatuated young fool."
"No way!"
"I kid you not, Takezo. She did the old 'date 'em and bleed 'em' again. It
was poor Masanori this time. He'll be up to his elbows in dishwater for the
rest of his life."
"No way!"
"Hellooooo! Is there an echo in this room?"
---
Either that, Bob thought as he read this part, or the writer's gotten into
a rut.
---
"But...Takeshi..."
"Look, Takezo, buddy. I'm just warning you. I don't appreciate you calling
me a liar."
"I'm not saying that you're lying, Takeshi, it's just that you might simply
be mistaken about..."
"...About that conniving bitch? I don't think so, Takezo."
"You take that back!"
"What? You mean my calling her a 'bitch'? Why?"
"I said take it back!", shouted Takezo as he swung at Takeshi.
"Whoa whoa whoa! Take it easy! Don't tell me you have a thing for that
b...that girl!"
"So what if I do, huh?!"
By this time, everybody in the room were listening in on the conversation,
although they tried their best not to show it.
"Akane, they're talking about your sister."
"It figures. She went on another date last night."
"Probably bled the guy for all he was worth, and then some."
Honestly, thought Akane. I wish for once Nabiki would be more discreet
about her extortion rackets. True, we'd all be starving at the dojo if it
weren't for her, Dad having no stable income and all, but...
"Captain Kuno, I think they're talking about Nabiki Tendo again.
---
Takezo checked his e-mail for C&C, and slapped his forehead when he read
one reply asking why someone was calling Kuno 'Captain'. "Excuse me," he
said, although no one else was around at the time, "does ANYBODY pay
attention to details anymore? Captain of the Kendo Club. He-loooo! Anyone
home in there?"
---
"And what sort of misdeed has that cursed woman done on this occasion?"
"Um, she went on another date, Captain."
"Oh, the poor fool. I can sympathize with him. The Kuno family would
probably be twice as rich as it is right now if it wasn't for that wench. By
the way..."
"Yes, Captain?"
"...What about the treasurer for our club?"
"Masanori, sir? He's the one Miss Tendo dated last night. He....kind of
embezzled our club funds to pay for some of his debts."
"NOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!"
"Hey Ranma! Your fiancée's sister claimed another victim last night."
"Do I look like I care?"
---
Bob met Takezo on RanmaMUCK to give him some advice.
"Whether or not the protagonist ends up with whomever is immaterial to the
story, really."
"WHAT?! Then what's the point of the story?!"
"The point of the story is...the reader's interest must be maintained. One
way to do that is this...the reader has to identify with the characters. For
example, if you're so hell-bent on making your character hit on Nabiki..."
"Well, excuse me."
"...The reader should have a reason for rooting for him. Otherwise, you
fall into the trap of writing just another self-gratifying fanfic that
didn't entertain anyone but the writer."
"Come to think of it," Takezo said, "Most of them are like that. Probably
just written so that the writer could vent off on someone other that
himself. I admit, I started this thing probably to do just that. But now
that I think about it, you're right. The story is what's important."
---
Takeshi rubbed the side of his jaw where Takezo slugged him for calling
Nabiki something that will not be mentioned here.
"FINE! If you don't believe me," Takeshi told Takezo, "give her that damn
letter you keep chickening out on giving her. Then you'll see her true colors."
"FINE!", retorted Takezo. "I'll go and do that! I'll prove you wrong!
You'll see."
Nabiki opened her footlocker and found an envelope in it, sealed with a
Gyopi sticker.
---
"Are you sure they'll get this reference?", asked Takezo.
"No," replied Bob. "But those who do will crack a smile for sure. That's
the whole point of putting obscure references. Not everyone will get the
joke, but you'll get a laugh out of those who do."
---
Nabiki opened the envelope and read the letter inside. She smiled to
herself mischievously.
"And here I thought I could only pull this sort of racket off once a week,
to let the rumor mill slow down before the next letter. It's pretty unusual
to get another date offer so soon. Heh. Never thought I'd be making two
killings this week. Nice letter though..."
Nabiki Tendo, age 17, has no girl's heart.
"I got your letter," said Nabiki to Takezo. "I'm so happy to know you like
me too..."
"You...you mean you'll go out with me?"
"Sure!"
"Yatta! I'll pick you up tomorrow at one, then!"
As Takezo waved and happily walked out of the school courtyard, Nabiki felt
a split-second pang of guilt and regret, the same one she always got
whenever she fooled a guy this way, the same one she always shrugged off a
moment later, the same one she totally forgot about when the date got under way.
Still....
---
"Hold it. What's this about a pang of guilt?"
"Well, I thought I'd make Nabiki less evil..."
"You realize you will be accused of portraying Nabiki out of character?"
"On what grounds? We NEVER see Ranma 1/2 through her point of view, so who
the hell besides Takahashi herself has the right to tell me which thoughts
are IC for Nabiki and which ones are OOC?"
"You have a point...but..."
"But like you said," interrupted Takezo, "you can't please everybody."
WATCH FOR PART 2: Takezo attempts to write about the date! Will he be able
to write about it and look himself in the mirror every morning? Will the
fanfic mailing list regulars praise or persecute him for his writing? Will
Bob get a name change?
-***-
Oh, yeah...Just a small scorecard.
Anyone who got the 'one hundred and twenty-six' clues' reference gets 5
style points.
Anyone who got the 'Takezo Musashi' reference gets 10 style points. No,
wait, make that 20. It's a pretty tough reference.
Anyone who got the reason why my fanfic about Mendou in Furinkan High was
called 'Trouble in Furinkan High' gets 5 points. Come on! The answers in the
name! (BIG GLARING HINT)
Anyone who got the "Timerunner's already doing the 'Mendou comes to
Furinkan bit'" gets no points. Yep. Come on! That's me! I wrote that! You
don't expect to get credit for something I told you!
Anyone who got the 'Gyopi' reference not only gets 50 points, but also my
respect. Unless you're the Scriviner, in that case, no fair, I told you
about it already.
Anyone who got the 'KITT' reference, subtract 10 points and go jump in the
ocean at riptide so David Hasselhoff can save you. Joudan, joudan.
Anyone who thinks I just made a Michael Jordan reference can go swallow a
basketball.
And if you think you know who I am on RanmaMUCK, tell me, because I
sometimes wonder if I write in the same style as I muck.
Well, until PART 2 then.
TimeRunner, December 22, 1996.
=====
TimeRunner
Representative of the Crusaders of Nabiki Tendo at
the Church of All Worlds
=====
"Put your money where your foot is!"
TimeRunner's Fics can be found at:
TimeRunner Central
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482/index.html