[Two figures walk into a darkened theater]

Left figure: How the hell did I get drafted for this?

Right figure: It's your own damn fault for pointing out how silly these
              are, Wolf.

Wolf: Thanks, pal.

[They sit in the front, not noticing a silent figure already sitting
there.]

Wolf: Tybalt, you sure about this?

Tybalt: Just relax, how bad could it be?

Silent figure: [thinking] Bad.


On Thu, 6 Nov 1997, Trom wrote:

Ok this is a short fic that just blossomed in my mind after watching a 
television show.  This my first Tenchi Muyo fic.  please send C+C. 

Wolf: MST ok?

thanks.
Who ever owns these two works of fiction, it is not me.  Please forgive 
my slander of your work.
	Not to distant family
	by
	Trom
	Mihoshi ran into the Masaki residence yelling out excitedly for 
anyone to hear.  "I can't believe it.  I'm an Aunt!."  In her haste she 
slammed the door in Kiyone's face, knocking her out cold.  Mihoshi 

Tybalt: How does one slam a sliding door in someone's face?

Wolf: Carefully.

continued on her path of destruction.  Of course the first place she 
wandered into was Washu's laboratory.  As the door closed behind her, a 
series of explosions could be heard inside, before comes out again then 
proceeding to the kitchen.

Wolf: And here we have the first of many grammar mistakes.

Tybalt: Lesse, door is the subject, so we have: Door comes out again.

Unnamed figure: Try making it 'before Mihoshi came out again, then
                proceeded...'

[Wolf and Tybalt turn and look at the figure.]

Tybalt: [whispered] Is that...?

	By this time the rest of the house, with the exception of 
Kiyone, who was still unconscious, and Washu, who was in her lab trying 
to stop a chain reaction that would destroy the universe.  

Wolf: This has got be a record.  It's a sentence-fragment/paragraph.

Tybalt: There's no verb, and no object.

	"What's wrong Mihoshi?" Tenchi was worried, things that excited 
Mihoshi usually meant disaster.  Warning lights and alarms are blaring 

Figure: 'alarms were blaring'

Wolf: [whispered] Yes, it is.

silently in his head.  Ryoko, Sasumi, Ryo-Ohki, and Akeya all wandered 

Wolf: Sasami, and Aeka, or Ayeka.

in from their respective areas of the house.  Around this house any kind 
uproar usually meant some kind of trouble.
	   "Well,"  Mihoshi started talking very quickly in her air head 
kind of way.  
"Itseemsthatmygrandfather'ssister'sdaughter'schildrenhavebeenlivingonEarth....." she pauses to take a breath. Then before she could continue.
	"Who?" Sasumi asked.  They were having a hard time understanding 

Wolf: Sasami.

Figure: He knows.

Mihoshi at the speed she was talking at.
	"I said, 
Itseemsthatmygrandfather'ssister'sdaughter'schildrenhavebeenlivingonEarthforalongtimeandIfinall ygettomeetthem!!" Mihoshi exclaimed happily.
	"Okay?" Ryoko began, "and what does that mean?"
	"My niece and nephew that live in America are visiting and I 
thought I would bring them over!" she exclaimed merrily.

Tybalt:  Allow me.  You thought??

	Everyone blinked at this.  That was the longest sentence Mihoshi 
has spoken without saying something stupid in a long time.

Figure: 'Mihoshi had spoken', and that's quite unfair.

Tybalt: [whispering] Shouldn't you say something?

	"Niece and Nephew?" Tenchi asked, "but doesn't your family come 
from outer space?"
	"Huh? Oh Ya well grandpa's brother moved to Earth along time 

Wolf: 'Earth a long time'

ago.  I wonder why?" her eyes then became vacant as she thought about 

Figure: Capitalize her.  'Her'

Wolf: [whispering] Like what?  I like breathing.

that.  Only to be interrupted as she was tackled from behind by Kiyone 
and Washu.
	"Mihoshi!! I was working on that space-time warp nullifier for 
three whole hours!!" Washu growled as tried to strangle Mihoshi only to 
get in Kiyone's way as she tried to do the same.
	"Die Mihoshi, die!" she exclaimed.
	Sasumi, Tenchi, and Ayeka jumped to pull the two angry women off 

Wolf: Sasami.

Figure: HE GETS THE POINT.

the oblivious Mihoshi.
	"Kiyone, Ms. Washu, I don't have time to wrestle right now."  
Exclaimed Mihoshi, looking at a clock,   "Ooh! I'm going to be late!"  

Tybalt: No capital on 'exclaimed'.

With that she dashed outside the house to her hover car and took off 
barely missing a tree in the process. 

Wolf: And hitting several others.

Tybalt: Hover car?

	"Oh it'll be nice that Mihoshi will get to meet some members of 
her family!" Sasumi smiled broadly. Which upturned into a frown. "I 
wonder what they'll be like?"

Wolf: Sasami.

[Tybalt jabs him with an elbow.]

	In Washu's mind: Two little Mihoshi terrors are tearing up her 
lab, all the while laughing gleefully.  With a yell she rushes to her 
lab to install brand new defenses and locks.  

Figure: 'With a yell, she rushed...'  You're writing this in past tense.

Wolf: Say, um...

	In Kiyone's mind: Kiyone herself is laying in a sun chair while 
in the background Mihoshi is being chased by two little Mihoshi clones, 
yelling at her to play with them.  Finally Mihoshi will know what she 
has been going through.  Another picture of Mihoshi hanging herself to 
get away from the two children.  Kiyone then bring the children out for 

Tybalt: 'Kiyone then bringing...'  You're still writing in past tense.

Figure: What?

ice cream, to thank them for her freedom.  She sighs and goes to leave 
before realizing that Mihoshi took her hover car.  "MIHOSHI!"

Wolf: 'She sighed, and went to leave...'  Still past tense.

	In Sasumi's mind: Sasumi and the two Mihoshi clones are running 

Tybalt & Figure: Sasami!

Wolf: I think he knows.

through a field laughing all the way, with Ryo-Ohki dashing between 
their legs.  With that she goes to prepare dinner, a smile on her face 
as the thought of new friends.

Tybalt: 'With that, she went...'  

Wolf: Uh, just nice to see you again.

	In Ayeka and Ryoko's minds: both of them dreaming of being alone 
with Tenchi walking down a beach.  They suddenly notice each other both 
walking with a Tenchi.

Figure: Strike the 'both'.

	"Stay away from my Lord Tenchi!"
	"Keep you mitts of him!"

Wolf: 'Keep your'.

Figure: If you say so.

	Tenchi just big sweated and went out to work the carrot patch.

	A few hours later: 
	
	"Hello?? Tenchi? Sasumi?" Mihoshi can be heard through out the 
house.  

Tybalt: Sasami!
Figure: Sasami!

	Sasumi comes out of the kitchen wiping her hands off.  "Hello 

Wolf: Yeah, Sasami!

Mihoshi! Where are your niece and nephew?"
	"Oh they're outside.  Where is Tenchi, I need to ask him if they 
can stay here while Kiyone and I go on patrol."  She answered brightly. 

Tybalt: This needs help.  Yes, she did answer Sasami, but then asked a
        question.  Try this:

	"Oh, they're outside," She answered brightly.  "Where is Tenchi?
I need to ask him if they can stay here while Kiyone and I go on patrol."

	"I'm sure it'll be alright with Tenchi, he's very nice." Sasumi 

Wolf: Do I even need to say it?

answered sweetly.  Just then two children come in threw the front door.

Tybalt: 'children came in'

Wolf: Sorry about that mess.

	[Oooh! It's so pretty here, don't you think so Dexter?] 
exclaimed in English, a high pitched voice from the girl with two braids 

Figure: Is the girl's name 'in English'?  I doubt it, so don't claim that
        'in English' exclaimed.  Try this:

	<Oooh! It's so pretty here, don't you think so Dexter?> a high
pitched voice exclaimed in English.  The owner of that voice was a blond
haired girl with two braids...

Figure: You get the idea.

of blonde hair on her head and a slim pink outfit on. Beside her, her 
brother, half her height with short red hair and horn-rimmed glasses on.
	[Yes, indeed it is DeeDee, but remember use the translator I 
gave you.] he spoke with a weird German accent. [Monkey! Get in here!] 
with that a monkey walks into the hallway.  Sasumi just blinks at the 

Wolf: Capitalize 'With'.  Oh yeah.  SASAMI!

creature, before smiling.  "How cute!!"
	"Hi!! My name is DeeDee."he exclaimed as she leaped over to 
embrace Sasumi. She was about to continue when Ryo-Ohki decided to make 

Tybalt: Sex change?  Is this a Ranma fic?

Figure: [cutting off Wolf] Yes, Sasami!

Wolf: [blushes] I like her, okay?

her appearance.  "Oh!! A bunny!!" she ran over to pick her up. "Hello 
little bunny!"  Ryo-Ohki smuggled up to her.  She loved meeting new 

Wolf: Heh.  I think it fits.

Figure: Maybe, but the word you likely meant was 'snuggled'.

people.  "Meyow!" she exclaimed happily.  
	Dexter just peered at the Cabbit wondering what it was.  "Hmm it 

Tybalt: 'at the cabbit, wondering...', and 'Hmm, it...'

Wolf: He must have an aversion to commas.

appears to be a cross between a feline and a rodent."  He then started 

Figure: [glowing bright blue] Did he just call Ryo-oh-ki a RODENT?

Wolf: [big sweat] Gee I really hope not.
Tybalt: [big sweat] No, I'm sure he wouldn't

giving Washu-like looks at the little creature. 
	"Oh that's Ryo-Ohki!" Sasumi said she then walked up to Dexter 
who stood up to her shoulder.  "Hi, I'm Sasumi!" she smiled brightly.

Tybalt: [holding Wolf down] No, she's Sasami.

	"Yes, yes I am Dexter on behalf of my sister and myself I thank 
you for allowing us to reside in your place of residence." Dexter 
replied haughtily before continued his examination of the Cabbit.  Said 
Cabbit did not like that look at all.

Figure: Let's start with 'Yes yes, I am Dexter.  On behalf of my sister
        and myself, I thank you...'.  Also, it's cabbit.  Not Cabbit.

Tybalt: [whispering] Dexter?  I thought her name was J-

Wolf: Shh!

	Later on at the Masaki dinner table:
	People are just now appearing, at first they all stared at the 

J-?: 'People were'.  This *still* needs to be part tense.

monkey at the table.  But being used to strangeness around here quietly 
accepted it.  Only Washu looked at longer than everyone else.

Wolf: The sentence beginning with 'But' has no subject.

Tybalt: That statement has such possibility.

	"Ooh what pretty hair!" DeeDee exclaimed upon seeing Ryoko. Who 
for once walked into the room instead of materializing.  
	"Why thank you! What a nice little girl you are." Ryoko 
exclaimed sticking her tongue out at Ayeka, before she began to inhale 

Tybalt: 'exclaimed, sticking...'

her food.  Ayeka didn't even bother to reply just sticking her nose in 

Wolf: 'reply, just sticking...'

J-?: He's stuck on sticking.

the air.  She did not like the idea of eating at the same table with an 
animal, but she would not be so rude as say so.  Well actually she did 
say so but nobody listened to her.

J-?: 'not be so rude as to say so.  Well, actually, she did say so,
     but...'  Commas are not evil, honest.

Tybalt: [whispering] Yeah, but she is.

Wolf: Shhh!

	"So Dexter," Yosho, Tenchi's grandfather. "You and DeeDee speak 
excellent Japanese for one so young and raised in America."

Tybalt: Yosho WHAT?  There's no verb.

Wolf: I don't think he has a last name.

J-?: [smacks Wolf]

	"I myself have long mastered the Japanese language, 

J-?: Long, by itself, is *not* a time reference.  'have long since...'
     *is*.

unfortunately my sister lacks my intellectual capacity.  Still it was 
simplicity itself for me to construct a universal translator."  He 
relied smugly pointing to a small bug like device that was in DeeDee's 

Wolf: I rely smugly too.

Tybalt: You reply smugly too.

ear.  She was oblivious to all this as she was dangling a carrot in 
Ryo-Ohki's face.
	"I have also detected that a few of you have abnormally high 
power readings." he began, "Given a periodic research since I have came 
here I arrived at the conclusion that not all of you are human." Given 

J-?: Given WHAT?  I can't even tell what you meant to say.

that was only a few hours ago, that was pretty fast.

Wolf: Given WHAT was only a few hours ago?  No subject.

	"Huh?" Everyone's face went blank at the thought that a relative 
of Mihoshi could say such words.  
	Washu's eye sparkled.  "Oh really? And at such a young age.  How 
old are you Dexter?"
	"I am eight years of age, although I constructed the 
translational devices when I was only six." Dexter replied 

Wolf: Yaright.  Can't speak properly, but can program a device to
      translate.  I don't buy it.

intelligently.  "Further scanning of your residence shows signs of 
transdimensional barriers in two locations.  After searching these 
barriers I came upon a very quaint Laboratory."
	"Quaint?"  Lil' Washu asked in a irritated tone of voice. 

J-?: Heh.  Yes, quaint.

	"Yes, inside I have found a number of things that I myself 
possessed but have already disposed off after they no longer held my 

Tybalt: 'disposed of...'

interest."  I look forward to seeing more of this laboratory some other 
time, but If you will excuse me I must brush my teeth and turn in to the 

Wolf: 'but if...'

 room that I will be residing."  With that he left the table to head up 
stairs

J-?: 'residing in.'

	Again everyone was shocked at one so young could create 
something like that.  With the exception of Mihoshi and DeeDee who were 

Tybalt: 'Again, everyone was shocked *that* one so young...'

Wolf: 'Mihoshi and DeeDee, who...'

oblivious to everything.
	"So DeeDee?  Is Dexter always like that?" Ayeka asked the little 

J-: Aigh!  'So, DeeDee...  is Dexter always like that?'

space cadet.

Tybalt: Space cadet?  I don't think so.

	"Oh no.  He's usually in his secret lab doing nerd things." he 
replied absently.
	"SECRET LAB???" 
	"Hey Lil' Washu, if Dexter can do all the things you can at age 
eight while your way, way old what's that make you?  Ryoko taunted her 
mother.

Wolf: 'you're'.  And since this is TV continuity, Washuu is not her
      mother!!

	Washu's head steamed as the idea of a child competing with her 

J-?: 'steamed at the idea...'

for the Greatest Scientist in the Universe.  Still her curiosity soon 

Tybalt: What, they both love him?

Wolf: Perhaps you mean *title* of Greatest Scientist in the Universe.

over came that.  If a child could become that smart on this backward 
planet, imagine what he could become with her tutorship .  If she didn't 
kill him first, that is.

J-?: Gah.  Arrogant little b-<MRRPH?!?>

Wolf: [His hand is clapped over her mouth]  Don't, please.

	Ryoko was going to take a bath.  She stepped into the furrio and 

Tybalt: Furo.

took off her robe when she heard a thump behind her.  Turning she saw a 

Wolf: 'Turning, she...'

buck naked Dexter who had fainted at the sight of a naked Ryoko.
	"??? How did he get in here?" it was a fact that Washu made this 

J-?: 'It was...'

particular bathroom accessible by females.  Putting on a robe she went 

Tybalt: [sighing]  'accessible only by females.'

and brought a naked Dexter down stairs.
	"Ryoko!! What did you do to that poor boy?!" Ayeka exclaimed 

Wolf: [dabbing at his nose] Didja have to hit me, Jo-

Tybalt: [elbowing him] You deserved it.

upon seeing the unconscious boy being cared down the stairs.

Jo-?: 'carried'

	"I didn't do nothing he was in the women's furrio." she replied 

Wolf: Furo.

Tybalt: You're not gonna do the Sasami thing, are you?

testily back to the princess.
	"In the Women's furrio?" Tenchi asked.  "How did he do that?" 

Wolf: Furo.

Jo-?: Arg.

*if father ever figured out how he did that, there would be way to much 

Tybalt: 'way too much'

trouble.* with that thought he shuddered.  "Well I had better put him in 

Jo-?: 'Well, I...'

my room."  With that Tenchi took the unconscious boy from Ryoko and went 

Wolf: 'With that, Tenchi...'

Tybalt: Would you PLEASE use commas?

to put him to bed.

	In Washu's Lab:
	Washu was hunched over a control panel about to put the 
finishing touches on one of her newest greatest inventions.  A steady 
hand was called for to place the final super sensitive piece. Almost 
there.  Almost there.

Jo-?: [snickering] WASHUU!!!

	"Hi Lil' Washu!" a high pitched voice exclaimed behind her 
causing her to drop the super- sensitive piece which shattered on the 
floor.

Tybalt: 'piece, which'  Should I even bother?

	"Mihoshi-" she was about to exclaim before turning around and 

Wolf: She already *did* exclaim "Mihoshi".

spotting DeeDee.  "DeeDee? How did you get in here?"  It was amazing 
that this little girl could not only sneak up on her but get through all 
her Mihoshi-traps and locks.  She didn't get a chance to finish that 
thought before.

Jo-?: Before she died.

Wolf: Before dinner?

Tybalt: Before we point out, THERE'S NO OBJECT.

	"What's this do?" DeeDee asked before punching a series of 
buttons on a display panel.

Jo-?: Oh, I see!  Before DeeDee blew up the lab.

	"No!! Don't touch that!"  Lil' Washu yelled but it was to late 

Wolf: Too.

Tybalt: Too late for this fic to get a plot?

as a dimensional rift opened up and a eight foot tall octopus-like 
monster came through and started demolishing Washu's lab.  DeeDee was 
unfazed by this and continued to push bottons, while Washu tried to save 
her lab.  
	Then with a "Bye-Bye!" DeeDee left as easily as she came.  The 
monster didn't even seem to notice her.  It took Washu over an hour to 
subdue the beast and send it back where it came from.  Looking at the 
mess the creature caused she could only fall to her knees and start 
weeping.

Jo-?: Creature being DeeDee, ne?

	Later that night:
	Everyone was fast asleep.  Dexter in Tenchi's room and DeeDee in 
Ryoko's room.  Ryoko wondering what would happen if she smothered the 

Tybalt: 'wondered'

little air head in her sleep for she was snoring loud enough to wake the 
dead.  Washu having cried herself to sleep in her lab, wondering how 
there could be two Mihoshi in the universe.

Wolf: 'wondered'

	Azaka and Kamidake, Sasumi and Ayeka's royal guards stood watch 

Jo-?: SASAMI ALREADY!

over the front gates.  The monkey was sleeping in a tree just outside 
the house.  All seem right with world.  

Tybalt: No, nothing seemed right.

Wolf: Oh dear, my seam has split.

Jo-?: 'All seemed right...'

	A thousand miles above the Earth a fleet of cloaked spaceships 
positioned themselves in orbit with Masaki residence.  

Tybalt: Damn!  How did the house get in orbit?

	Down below a dark figure materializes out of a beam of energy, 

Wolf: Past tense please.

and begins to creep towards the house.  With a quick flip of a switch he 

Wolf: Past tense please.

deactivates the two Royal guardians and continues toward the house.  Up 

Wolf: Past tense please.

in the tree the monkey is awakened by an unusual sound.  He looks down 

Wolf: Past tense please.

to notice the stalker approaching the house.  Sensing danger he quickly 

Wolf: Past tense please.

transforms in Monkey!!

Wolf: Past tense please.  And what the hell does that mean?

	Monkey quickly flies down to intercept this strange creature.  

Wolf: Past tense please.

The Stalker quickly spots Monkey and begins its attack.  Monkey easily 

Wolf: Past tense please.

dodges the creature's energy blades and retaliates with a sonic howl.  

Wolf: Past tense please.

This throws the creature out of the yard as Monkey presses his 

Wolf: Past tense please.

advantage.

Wolf: Are you getting the point yet?

	The creature the pulls out a disruptor handgun and fires at 

Wolf: Past tense please.

Monkey hitting him square in the chest.  But Monkey's energy field 

Wolf: Past tense please.

protects him as energy beams appear from his eyes to melt the handgun.  

Wolf: Past tense please.

The creature continues the assault but is no match for the speed and 

Wolf: Past tense please.

strength of Monkey.  It quickly signals the Mothership to beam him back. 

Wolf: Past tense please.

	Seeing his enemy flee, Monkey looks into the sky and using his 

Wolf: Past tense please.

super-monkey vison sees the attack fleet positioning itself in orbit 

Wolf: Past tense please.

about them.  With a defiant screech, he propels himself into the air at 

Wolf: Past tense please.

the fleet above.
	Aboard the Mothership the commander was being briefed by his 
scout, on how a primitive primate caused his deadly assassin to flee.  
Just then tactical reported a incoming projectile. 
	"Report!" he bellowed
	"Sir, some sort of organic life form with high energy readings 
fast approaching our position." 
	 "So Washu, you have created another living weapon of 
destruction." the Commander spoke out loud. "No matter we shall crush 
the little insect.  Deploy all the whole fleet. Destroy that beast and 
then launch a full assault on the planet below!"
	"Sir yes Sir!" was replied all over the deck as his orders were 

Tybalt: 'was replied'?  I don't even want to touch that.

Wolf: Get a mop!  It's replied all over the deck.

carried out.  He was sure he could defeat this puny creature and finally 
take his revenge on the accursed Washu.  He had picked this crew 
himself.  In the end there could only be one conclusion victory.

Jo-?: 'conclusion, victory.'  I doubt that.

	Dozens of attack fighters closed in on Monkey and began their 
assault.  Flying right through some ships while blasting others with 
energy beams from his palms and eyes.  The battle was a fierce dog 

Tybalt: Another sentence fragment, there's no damn subject.  And it's a
        monkey fight, anyhow.

fight.  Aerial feats unheard of were witnessed as Monkey positioned the 

Wolf: Thank goddess we didn't have to hear this.

fighters so that their numbers worked against them, causing them to hurt 
themselves without touching him.   When it seemed that they had him 
surrounded Monkey let loose his Aura blast! Which destroyed every last 
remaining assault ship.  He then proceeded onto the Mothership.

Jo-?: [yawning]

	The commander watched as the little creature tore apart his 
fleet.  His respect and hatred for Washu increased greatly upon 
witnessing the power of such a small and seemingly insignificant 
creature.  He then watched as that same creature flew at his ship and 
prepared himself for death or even worse.  There was no knowing what a 
creature of Washu's could or would do.

Tybalt: Yes, just look at Tenchi.

	Monkey easily breached the outer-hull of the ship.  He then 
began his search for the head of this attack fleet.  With his 
super-monkey vision and speed he quickly deduced the leaders were 
about's.  The metal on the doors screamed as they were ripped open from 
out side and in strode Monkey, eyes burning bright red, screeching 
loudly. 

Wolf: [yawning]

	"So this is how it ends does it?" The commander boldly stated, 
"No I am not sorry for what I did, I would gladly do it again a thousand 
times over."  A single tear goes down his eye, "how I will miss my 

Jo-?: Down his EYE?  And how did he miss, lousy shooting?

Wolf: Ano...

beloved." with that he lowers his head and waits for the killing blow.  
But it never comes. He looks up to see Monkey just standing there 

Tybalt: 'it never came.'

Jo-?: [blushing]

staring at him.  Then Monkey starts Screeching at him hopping up and 

Wolf: 'screeching...'

down making movements with his hands.
	"You'll give me another chance to be with my loved ones!" he 
exclaimed, "Why when I was will to kill you and destroy you planet would 

Jo-?: 'was willing to kill you and destroy your planet...'

Tybalt: He's got style.

you do this?"  Screech, screech, jump, jump.
 "I thank you.  Your kindness has shown me the errors of my ways.  No 
longer will I long for others to suffer!  This I promise you on my word 

Wolf: Liar.

as Warrior.  I will try to help those who are in need no matter what the 
cost.  Thank you my friend for your inspiration."  A lone tear falls 
from his face.  

Jo-?: Good one.

	Monkey bids his new friend good bye and returns to the Masaki 
residence were he goes to sleep in the tree outside the house.  Changing 

Tybalt: 'residence where he went...'

back to the monkey as he lets sleep overcome him.

Wolf: 'as he let sleep...'

	Azaka and Kamidake are still lying frozen on the ground.  The 

Jo-?: 'were still lying'.

Wolf: [smirking] So, Jo-chan, you were lying?

Jo-chan: Shaddup.

crickets are chirping merrily away and the rest of the night is 

Tybalt: 'crickets were', and 'night was'

peaceful.

Wolf: Is that it?

************************************************************************Favorite Motto: "It's your world man, I'm just doing a cameo."
Favorite Quote: "Mother is the name of God on the lips of children."
who said these I have no idea, but I like them
						Trom

Jo-chan: Damn, I thought it would never end.

Wolf: Well, hopefully we helped.

Tybalt: Until next time, this is Tybalt,

Wolf: Wolf, 

Jo-chan: And Jody, signing out.