[Zen has got his head buried in an open wall panel, wires hanging out, and
circuit boards scattered across the floor. Mild swea... okay. Swearing
that would burn the paint off a starliner at half a parsec is accompaniment
for occasional flashes of blue from the phaser welder.]
Zen: Dammit, when Zen said 'no peanut butter' Zen *meant* NO peanut
butter...
[The door opens and Kei and Yuri walk in, looking around at the mess.]
Kei: Ain't you got this thing working *yet*?
Zen: <head still in panel> <<growls>>
Yuri: <grinning> Well, Kei, you *did* boost his blood pressure, but I don't
think that'l count for our bet...
Kei: Hey!
Zen: ... <<ZAT!>> Itte! <pulls head out of panel, followed by a puff of
smoke.>
Yuri: Well?
Zen: Well what?
Yuri: <taps foot>
Zen: Erm... heh... well, the display unit's working again. <glares at Kei>
but the comm unit's gonna take another few hours.
Yuri: Well, then why don't you take a break? All we need right now is the
display.
Zen: <groans>
Kei: And the replicator...
Zen: NO! No replicator! Not until you get the sta...
Yuri: Later, Zen. We have a fic to review!
Zen: <suspicious> Another Lurk... er... Lurkadis fic?
Yuri: <brightly> Nope!
Zen: <more suspicious> NOT another Lurker review!
Kei: <grinning> Nope!
Zen: <relaxing> Well...
Yuri: <produces isolinear chip out of the usual place>
Zen: O_O How *do* you do that, anyway?
Yuri: <grinning> I'll have to show you sometime, ne?
Kei: Hey! Mine! Keep your paws off!
Zen: ... <nervous> Didn't you say something about a fic?
Yuri: <glaring at Kei> Yes. <slides chip into display console>
Zen: <bigsweats>
At 9:08 11/3/97, Christopher J Angel wrote:
[Scene opens on a movie theatre. In a chair, snoozing, is Christopher
Angel, God of Moments.]
Zen: ACK! Reviewing a review again?!
Kei: <smirking> Yeah, but this time, we beat ol' stony to it. ^_^
Zen: You *do* realize then, that THIS review becomes a valid target...
Kei: ...
Zen: Thought not. <sighs>
Voice: HEY! WAKEUP!
[Chris starts awake, and a second later, the doors to the theatre bang
open, revealing Urd.]
Urd: All right, lets get reviewing.
Chris:[eyes narrowed] You're awfully eager. What did you do this time.
Urd: [guiltily] Nothin'!
Skuld: [running into the theatre] I can't find Oneechan!
[Urd looks even more guilty]
Yuri: Yup. She's up to something...
Chris: Urd, WHAT DID YOU DO?
Urd: Nothing! It's not my fault Belldandy...[stops herself]
Zen: Oops. Y'know... there's something familiar about that guilty look.
Kei: ...
Chris: It's not your fault Belldandy what?
Urd: You remember last time, when I epoxied her into a room with Keiichi?
Chris: [wince] Why don't I like where this is going?
Urd: Well, this time SHE expoxied the door shut.
Yuri, Zen & Kei: O_O
Zen: Well.
Kei: <grinning> 'Well' indeed. Bloody well about time.
Chris: [blinks] oooookaaaay.
Skuld: WHAT?! I have to stop them!
Yuri: Now *there's* a girl that needs to get laid.
Zen: She's only fourteen, you know...
Yuri: So?
Zen: ...
[A lightning bolt blasts through the ceiling and impacts the ground in
front of Skuld.]
Kei: Looks like Kami-sama has some sense, anyway.
Voice: HEY! These places aren't cheap, you know.
Chris: [reading] Lave them alone, Skuld. Kami-sama. [shrugs] Hey, He's
the boss.
Skuld: [goes to sit] <grumble> <mutter> Stupid mortals <grumble mutter>
Yuri: <snort>
TRIO:
THE HOME FRONT:
MARTIAL ARTIST LAW
It was what most would have considered an average day.
Zen: If this is in Nerima, that could be bad.
However, in Nerima, it was an unusually uneventful one. There were
no showdowns between dueling martial artists. No strange creatures.
No damage to buildings that cost billions of yen.
Yuri: Of course. All those things only happen when Ranma's around.
Zen: <crafty look> And your point is?
Kei: <making frantic 'shush' gestures that Yuri ignores>
Yuri: It's all his fault, isn't it?
Zen: <exaggerated innocent look> Really? And what does that say about YOU
two?
Yuri: ...
Kei: Nice one, Yuri.
All in all, the average citizens of Nerima were quite happy.
Chris: Here's an interesting question: Where does Japan get all he money
to repair the damage it takes in all these anime?
Urd: 'Niichan, this is ANIME, not reality.
Chris: No, really, think about it. Like in Cat Girl Nuku Nuku, they
destroy Tokyo on a regular basis.
Yuri: Yah, Tokyo's like a cancer. It keeps groeing back. Tokyo, Mega
Tokyo, Tokyo 3, Crystal Tokyo... You just can't *kill* it.
Kei: <rolls eyes> And they call ME the clueless one!
Zen: <still innocent look> You'll just have to teach 'em how, ne? Maybe
if you showed 'em how to frag the planet...
Yuri: ... <glowering at Zen> Not another word, Kei. <taps Zen
meaningfully> and I'll deal with *you* later.
Zen: <sweatdrops>
Skuld: [sighs]
Ever since what had been termed as "The Night of Martial Artist
Law,
" where fighters of all kinds had, almost litteraly, torn apart the
town, there had not been a single incident.
Skuld: [groans] Bad joke.
Chris: [grins] very bad joke. I like it.
Yuri:
It had been rumored that the reason behind that dark and terrible
night was because one of Nerimas most prominent martial artists, one
Ranma Saotome, had vanished. While they didn't know why this was the
cause, they hoped that the dissapearence marked the end of Nerimas
woes.
Urd/Skuld: 'Niichan/Oniichan?
Chris: To quote a phrase: NOT BLOODY LIKELY!
Yuri: <defensively> See? It IS *HIS* fault!
At the Tendo Dojo....
Akane was breaking bricks. She was hitting them with a savagery
that was extreme, even for her. So far, she had completely shattered
eighteen of them and she showed no sign of slowing down.
Skuld: OOOOh, she's mad.
Kei: You think she's mad now, you just WAIT 'tilshe finds out her favourite
punching bag is shacked up with some blonde in New York...
Zen: Urg. Put that way, it *could* get a little... tense.
Yuri: You have a tendency for understatement, don'tcha?
Chris: [thinks] It must be that time of the month.
Urd: [smacking him upside the head] Don't be like Lurker.
Yuri: Ouch!
"What's wrong with me?" she thought, "I know I get angry, but I'm
just so... REALLY ANGRY today. Why?"
The answer of course, was the same as it had been everyday, Ranmas'
running away. "At least," she thought before shouting to the ceiling,
"THAT JERK COULD HAVE LEFT A NOTE!"
Zen: <Ranma VO> Dear kawaiikune otoko onna... have gone to New York to
forget you and romance the future queen of crystal tokyo. Best, Ranma...
<normal voice> No... Zen does not THINK so.
Chris: 'Hi Akane, I've been sent to New York to fight a big evil
superhuman crime syndicate. I'm dating Sailor Moon and I don't remember
anything of my past. Signed, Ranma.'
Skuld: [confused] Didn't they see him disappear?
Kei: Sure, but you KNOW what a temper she's got. And that persecution
complex... never saw a girl what needed more Prozac.
Zen: True. Akane has seen Ranma try and avoid things in past, and STILL
blamed him... no reason to expect this to be different.
Akane, without even thinking, pulled her mallet out and whacked the
brick she had set up. Her thoughts became even angrier as she
remembered how, a month or so after Ranma had vanished, she had
confronted Shampoo, demanding that she tell what she, or Cologne, had
done to Ranma.
Urd: She IS mad. She usually reserves the mallet for Ranma, not bricks.
Chris: [grinding his teeth] Not gonna say it, not gonna think it...
Kei: <evil grin> Aww, go ahead. Ranma can't hurt ya!
When Shampoo had denied any wrong doing in a none too nice manner,
Akane had just snapped and started attacking the Amazon.
To the surprise of everyone, Akane had been getting the upper hand,
until Moose interjected himself. Then Kuno showed up and attacked
Moose, for daring to attack "The Beauteous Akane Tendo." THEN, Tarou
(in monster form) showed up, hot on the heels of Happosai. Happosai
then stole a weapon from Cologne to fend off Tarou, drawing the older
Amazon into the fray.
Skuld: Yay Akane!
Urd: No way! Shampoo, tell me it's not so!
Chris: You're awfully fixated on her, Urd. [whacked by Urd] HEY! Stop
acting like Hikaru. [pauses, Blade voice] Go Tarou!
Zen: DIE Squidbreath! Go 'Poo!
Yuri: <glares at Zen> YOU are a drooling Shampoo fanboy?
Zen: <sniffs> Of course not. She's just the runner up. Zen is a drooling
UKYOU fanboy.
Kei: <hurt look> But... but... Zen! How could you like that... that...
*crossdresser* when you live with THIS?! <begins to rip open uniform top>
Zen: <grabbing nose> Schtopp thaht!
Kei: <smirks, but complies>
Then they spilled outside, where they were joined by Ukyo and
Kodachi as they battled up and down the streets of Nerima.
Zen: Go, Ucchan!
Yuri: <shakes head> Hopeless....
Then, matters got even worse as Saffron, Mint, Lime, Herb, The Dojo
Destroyer, Mikado, Ryuu and practically everyone who had a grudge
against Ranma decided that it was time to get revenge. The violence
as to who would get him first if they found him, grew out of control
and it took the efforts of six of the Sailor Senshi and thirty units
of SUMP (Special Units of Metro Police [The Japanese equivalent of
SWAT]) officers, working together, five hours to quell it.
Zen: ... Wow. Hope they had SUMP pumped...
Yuri: <smacks Zen>
Chris: OOOH, violence!
Urd: Do they even have thirty units of SUMP?
Skuld: [snifs] Uneccessary. One planet attack and kaboom, no fighting.
Zen: Who knew Skuld was a Dir... <notices hostile glares> <meekly> Lovely
Angels fan...
Chris: Um..kaboom, no people. Kaboom, no Tokyo. Besides, don't they need
Usagi to do that?
Yuri: It's the collateral damage that'll get ya every time.
In the end, Tarou, Happosai, Ryuu, The Dojo Destroyer and Mikado
had
been arrested. Herb, Mint and Lime had been deported. Saffron just
vanished, and everyone else was let go because it was assumed that
they had been innocent bystanders caught in the fray. While the
district had sustained damages that the cost to repair went into the
trillions.
Chris: AND WHO PAYS FOR IT! The taxpayers! Damn martial artists!
Urd: [Looks up at the control booth.] Bitter about the amount of tax
removed from your paycheck, perhaps.
Voice: Damn straight I am.
Skuld: Leave Chris alone you big meanie!
Voice: That's it, I got to find those Kenji stories.
Skuld: Eeep!
Kei: <smirks>
Ever since then, it had been silent. The need to fight had gone
out
of the martial artists systems and they were content to just give
each other the cold shoulder, along with an occasional Evil Eye.
Yuri: Gross! Put it back!
Chris: [mimes passing something to Urd] Here.
Urd: Oooooh, just what I wanted, an Evil Eye!
Skuld: [shaking her head] Bakas.
Kei & Zen: <looking at Yuri> <nod nod NOD>
Still, one question remained unanswered, where had Ranma
dissapeared
to?
Zen: Nerima may NEVER recover when she finds out...
Akane frowned in contemplation. Why did Ranmas' running away get
her so mad? She should have been jumping for joy. No more forced
marriage. Still, the only thing she felt besides her anger was a
feeling of loss. Not the kind of loss when a friend is gone, but the
kind when you lose someone you.... love?
Yuri: Awwww.... <sniffle> That's so... so... so SAD!
Chris: Too late, babe, you lost him to a sixteen year old who rivals Soun
for crybaby, is a worse martial artist than you, cooks just as badly, has
two pony tails and odango, and who can kick all your butts!
Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Kei: <snikkers> Maybe she oughtta get together with Tux-boy.
Skuld: Yeah, Usagi and Ranma forever!
Urd: [sniffs, then brightens] Hey, you think Mamoru would go for Shampoo?
Kei: Noe THERE's an idea...
Chris/Skuld: [exchange a glance, then shudder] Nope.
Chris: Akane?
Skuld: [nods] Definitely Akane.
Zen: At least it'll be a change... from Serentiy to Anger Personified...
Voice: ENOUGH ALREADY. Flashman knows we all want Ranma and Usagi to be
together, leave it alone.
Chris/Skuld/Urd: NEVER!
Kei: <nodding> You just gotta keep reminding them sometimes.
Zen: <grins> Ranma & Ukyou forever!
Kei & Yuri: ...
Outside the Tendo Dojo....
Dr. Tofu was about to knock on the door but stopped as his hand was
inches away. "If I knock," he thought, "Kasumi will answer the door
and I'll go bonkers. Then I'll NEVER get to tell them the good news.
Got to think of a way in..."
Chris: I'm impressed.
Urd: True, usually even THINKING of Kasumi sends him bonkers.
Chris: Maybe he's building up an immunity?
Urd: I hope not, I don't know what effect the potion I sent him will have
then.
Skuld: Urd! You didn't!
Zen: Skuld-chan... you have GOT to know better than that...
An hour later...
The knock at the door caught Kasumis' attention and she walked over
to and opened it. She was quite surprised when Dr. Tofu, wearing a
blindfold over his eyes and headphones that blared heavy metal music
(blotting out his hearing), rushed in through the door, yelling like
a mad man as he used his memory of the Tendo Dojo floor plan to make
his way to the dojo. "Oh my," Kasumi whispered as the dust cloud
from Tofus passing started to die down.
Chris: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Urd: I guess not.
Skuld: Good plan, though.
Zen: <smirking> Oh, yes, Rube Goldberg would be proud.
Yuri: Maybe those kids'll even catch that monster with this one.
Kei: <whaps Yuri> Wrong show, stupid! You see a dog in this show?
Zen: Well...
Yuri & Kei: DON'T go there, Zen.
Zen: ...
Akane looked up and screamed as the blind and deaf Dr. Tofu, who
still screaming, ran past her, out of the back door and fell into the
koi pond. Akane blinked in confusion as Tofu came up, gasping for
breath and ripped the two blinding apparatuses from his head. "Made
it," he exclaimed, "Akane I have some wonderful news for you, your
father and Mr. Saotome! It's about Ranma!"
Kei: <Tofu voice> Yes! You're going to want to KILL him, and I know where
you can find him!
Kasumi was about to enter the room but Akane kept her out of Tofus
line of vision and the youngest Tendo daughter said, "Sis, could you
get Dad and Mr. Saotome? Dr. Tofu needs to talk to them."
Urd: [shaking her head] Really, really OOC there.
Skuld: [nods] Considering her anger earlier, she's too calm.
Zen: Nabiki would probably be better for this... besides, Akane would have
to leave the dojo to do it.
Yuri: Don't be such a nit-picker, Zen.
Later....
Soun cried tears of joy as Genma tried to hold back his own. "My
son," the elder Saotome whispered, "alive."
Akane however, was a bit more pessimistic, "So he's alive. That
just means he's a coward. He ran away for goodness sake."
Zen: <shudders> Yes... better he should stay with Usagi. They may
squabble, but at least she's not this COLD... Yeeesh.
Kei: That girl is *way* too uptight.
Chris: [sarcasticly] Son't be too happy or anything. Sheesh. She doesn't
deserve Ranma. None of them do. Ranma and Usagi forever!
Zen: Hey! Ukyou deserves him! But you're right about Akane! <twitch>
Yuri: <nods> I'm beginning to think so too...
[small statue falls ontop of Chris]
Voice: ENOUGH!
Kei: Touchy son of a seska, ain't he?
"I don't think his ending up in New York was voluntary," Tofu
interjected, "He has no memory of any part of his past, except for
his martial arts skills which have been so drilled into him that
they've become instinct more then memory. With the enemy that he's
facing however, I'm not sure that it will be enough."
The three people listening to the doctor looked up at him and Akane
asked, "Is this Eclipse Syndicate really that strong?"
Chris: You betcha, buddy.
Zen: Like she really cares. Feh.
Kei: Lighten up, Zen!
Tofu nodded and shuddered slightly, while most of his time as
Medkind had mercifully been blanked out of his memory, the few bits
he did remember chilled him to the core. "Yes," was what he said.
Akane smiled sadly as she said, "I'll bet he probably tried to take
them head on the first day."
Yuri: Maybe Akane is MPD... she was just calling him a coward a minute ago.
Now she's just calling him stupid.
Zen: Well, 'headstrong' anyway.
Skuld: [flipping back] Uhh..second day, I think.
Zen: And you two call ZEN a nit-picker? <smiles> You TELL 'em Skuld!
Tofu grinned and replied, "That wouldn't surprise me at all."
Outside the room, Nibiki grinned a cool grin as she turned off her
portable tape recorder. This would turn out to be VERY profitable.
Zen: This seems a tad OOC... after all, Nabiki is gonna miss the hints
about Usagi. So much profit potential, down the tubes.
<*crack*boom*ominous thunder*>
At the Kuno mansion....
"Well Mr. Kuno," the man said, "I thank you for your time. This
business dealing shall be most profitable for all parties concerned.
"
Tatiwaki Kuno nodded in acceptance and said, "Yes. Though you are
Gaijin Mr. Hawkins and thus, can not possess the pure abilities of me
and those in my line, you are a skilled business man and I trust that
you can carry through on your end."
Kei: Pompous son of a so-and-so, ne?
"Yes."
Mr. Hawkins was an American with a hawk like face, long, shoulder
length brown hair tied off in a pony tail. His eyes were a piercing
steel blue and the perminant scowl on his face made Nabiki back off
slightly as he strode out of the Kuno mansion. "Please madam," he
said as he bowed formally, "excuse me."
Skuld: Hawkins and a hawk-like face? Flashman no baka.
Chris: That was pretty bad.
Zen: <nods> Pretty lame, but no worse than the usual Sailor Moon fare.
Kei: He kinda reminded me of Steven Segal...
Nabiki bowed slightly as she stepped aside and let Hawkins pass.
As
soon as he was gone, Nabiki turned to Kuno as he greeted her with,
"To what cruel turn of fate do I owe the 'pleasure' of thy company
Nabiki Tendo?"
Zen: Whoa! What'd you do with the *real* Kunou? He's not this rude to
even Nabiki!
Nabiki grinned and replied, "Now Kuno baby, is that any way to talk
to someone who has information on your missing little red head?"
<*crack*boom*ominous thunder*>
Urd: This is gonna be messy...
Zen: It is for a fact.
Later, at the Nekohaten....
"AIYAH!" Shampoo exclaimed, "Great Grandmother, Shampoo MUST go to
American City! Husband is there!"
Yuri: Nabiki moves fast, doesn't she?
It had cost Shampoo almost all the money she had on her but it had
been too good an opportunity to pass up. Now that she knew about the
fate of Ranma, she knew that she had to go to him. There was no way
that her Great Grandmother would say...
"No," Cologne replied, "we must wait for his return. There is
nothing we could do to help him."
Chris: Saw that coming? [Three hands go up.] Predictable.
Zen: Cologne might change her tune if she knew about the rabbit...
"But Great Grandmother..."
"No more arguments! If you truly love Son In Law, then do not
attempt to interfere, he must face this without us."
"Then what CAN Shampoo do?"
"Pray.... and get going. You need to deliver that order of Ramen
we
received ten minutes ago."
"Yes Great Grandmother."
As soon as Shampoo had shuffled out of the restaurant, Cologne
addressed the shadows, "We are alone now."
Zen: Now THIS was predictable. ^_^
A person stepped out of the shadows and replied, "As always,
Ancient
One, you have sensed me."
Cologne snorted and said, "I find it interesting that you describe
ME as 'ancient' Setsuna."
Zen: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Chris: [snickers] She has a point.
Urd: Whippersnappers.
Zen: Well, Urd & Setsuna have kept their figures MUCH better...
Yuri: Hentai!
Kei: <pinches Zen> watchit you...
Chris: Urd, you've been reincarnated HOW many times?
Urd: [sniffs] A lady's age is her own business.
Kei: So what has that got to do with you?
Zen: (!) <ducks> oooohhhhhh.... shit.
Setsuna smiled a rare smile and replied, "True. However, I fear
that this is not a visit to remember old times."
Yuri: <incredulous> They used to hang out together?
Zen: <thoughtful> That would explain a lot...
"What do you have need of?"
"We have run out of Senzu."
Cologne sighed and hobbled over to a bag on one of the shelves.
She
took the bag and tossed it at Setsuna, who caught it without blinking
an eye. Cologne chided, "You must conserve those. They are the last
ones I have. It will take years to grow more."
Zen: Natch.
<*crack**boom*ominous thunder*>
Setsuna nodded in understanding and said, "I am sorry, but the war
is much more difficult then we suspected."
"How does it go? I have trained Son In Law as best I could for it,
is he good enough?"
Chris: Real C&C time. You could kill that last 'for it'. The sentence
might flow better that way.
Yuri: Chris seems a little OOC here, really pushing the fourth wall,
y'know?
Zen: Maybe, but he has a point. Besides, as much fun as these reviews are,
it's nice when they're something besides total fluff...
"He would be, except that a recent encounter has shattered his
confidence. He is recovering however, and hopefully, he will have
his self assurance restored soon."
Chris: Watch your hypenation(sp).
Zen: Dash it all...
Kei: <whaps Zen>
Cologne nodded and turned around, never doubting for a second, that
where she turned back, Setsuna was gone.
Chris: That last sentence is alkward. Fix it.
Zen: Replace 'was' with 'would be' and that should do it.
Elsewhere....
Shampoo rode her bike full tilt, she was sad that she couldn't go
help Ranma but she trusted her Great Grandmother and if she said it
was too dangerous, then it was too dangerous.
She reached the address that the delivery was for and dismounted
her
bike. She looked up at the building and let out a soft, "Aiyah," as
she observed the glass monolith that was her delivery site. The
large sign outside read, <Black Sun Inc.>
Shampoo walked into the lobby and when the secretary asked for her
ID, she held up the Ramen carrier and said, "Delivery for Mr. Hawkins.
Delicious Ramen."
Zen: <buries face in hands> Saw this coming. Still...
The secretary buzzed someone over an intercom and after a brief
discussion, she said, "Take the elevator to the top floor."
Shampoo asked, "Do stairs go to top?"
The secretary replied, "Yeah, but it's one hundred and..."
"Shampoo need workout," the Amazon replied as she started to race
up
the stairs.
Yuri: Now that's my kind of girl - she knows what's important.
Zen: Besides, she can probably beat the elevator...
Chris: Eeep. That's what flight is for.
Urd: She can't fly.
Kei: Oh no? Tell that to her bike that she keeps landing on Ranma.
Chris: Sure she can, all she needs to do is borrow Akane for a bit..
Zen: Now *that* would be a hammer-head turn...
Kei: Zen, just how many pilots do you think will read this?
Several minuets later....
Zen: <to Yuri> Might Zen have this dance?
Yuri: Charmed, sir.
Kei: D'you mind if I cut in?
Yuri: Wait your turn, it said there'd be several minuets.
Hawkins raised his eyebrows in surprise when, instead of the ding
of
the elevator he had expected, he heard a knock on the door. "Come in,
" he said.
Shampoo opened the door and once again, let out a soft, "Aiyah," as
she noticed the plush surroundings. The desk at the end of the room
had to be 100% pure red wood. The carpet was the thickest and
woolliest red carpet that Shampoo had ever walked on and the
bookshelves were filled with rare pieces of literature.
Chris: It's good to be on top.
Skuld: [sniffs] I like Kami-sama's office.
Chris: Just where did he get that gumball machine from, anyway?
Zen: Anywhere he wanted to.
Hawkins, who was sitting behind his desk, said, "Leave it on the
desk," and as Shampoo complied, he pulled out a wad of yen that more
then covered for the bill by a wide margin and added, "Keep the
change."
Urd: Nice tipper.
Chris: Hey, why do you think Shampoo likes going on delivery?
Zen: Zen wonders if the tip would have been smaller if she had not been
running up the stairs... the profit motive for exercise...
Yuri: Nani?
Kei: Pervert.
Shampoo smiled widely, bowed and took her leave.
As soon as she was gone, Hawkins took out a pair of gold
chopsticks,
removed the bowl from the package and as he ate, the small view
screen on his desk popped to life.
Chris: Gold chopsticks? Ught. Those things must get scored and bent
awfully badly.
Zen: Yah. And they'd conduct heat almost as well as silver ones.
Kei: Ouch. There's a thought.
It was Lujane.
Hawkins glared down at the screen and growled, "Can't you see I'm
eating?"
"My apologies," Lujane replied, "but I must know, were you
successful in your efforts?"
Hawkins sighed as he rubbed his forehead, "Yes. The insufferable,
inbred clan known as the Kuno estate, has given us the rights. We
may proceed with sub titling the latest episodes of Star Marshal
Ghram."
Zen: The Kunou family produces ANIME?! Waaaaaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Lujane snickered slightly as she said, "Once again, I must say that
I never thought that sub titling Anime could be so profitable to an
organization such as ours."
Kei: Really? Weren't all those fansubbers a subtle hint? Of *course*
there's a market for good subtitled anime!
Zen: <innocent look> So how come Streamline did all those dubs?
Yuri & Kei: Macek will DIE.
Hawkins glared at Lujane again and shifted form. In his place, sat
Eclipse Lord. "Forgive me master," Lujane amended, "I meant, an
organization such as yours."
Urd: I knew it.
Skuld: I knew it.
Chris: Hey, _I_ was surprised. Not much, but barely.
Zen: Better polish those precog powers of yours then. Zen could see that
coming since the Kunou estate, and Zen is only 3WA.
Yuri: <hands on hips> What do you *mean* ONLY 3WA?
Zen: ... Anou... he's a GOD fer chrissake. <thinks. gets wicked smile>
Zen is sorry. You're right. Zen forgot that you were from the Heavens too.
Yuri: <mollified> We *are* the Lovely *Angels*, after all.
Zen: <innocent> Then why is it when you show up that people look at you and
say, "Oh, God..."
Kei: <whaps Zen> I'll show you. Later. <leers>
Zen: .... <ulp>
"Never forget that Lujane. Now, how goes the repairs."
Chris: Question mark, not a period.
Kei: GO, not GOES. Plural object (repairs) should have plural verb.
Zen: ... And when did YOU learn proper grammar?
Kei: Oh, you are *asking* for it, aren't you?
The highest of the Inner Four sighed as she replied, "The Warriors
Department got off the easiest, with the lightest being a few cases
of frazzled nerves and the heaviest being a few cases of minor burns.
Chris: Closing quotes.
Zen: Nope. This he has right. The closing quotes of a paragraph like this
are omitted when the next paragraph is the same speaker, and there have been
no interruptions in the dialogue.
Yuri: <wide eyed> Zen, you have GOT to get out more.
Kei: <lecherous grin> Or not.
"The other Departments however, have not gotten off so easily. We
are projecting three days to fully repair the Genetiks Department,
then another two days to finish work on the Robotics Department and
Seer tells me that the Temporal shroud that is blocking his
Departments abilities should clear in a week."
Chris: Department's.
Eclipse Lords' eyes thinned in contemplation. "Very well," he
said,
"carry on," as Lujane was about to sign off, Eclipse Lord added, "By
the way, tell your husband that he was right. That was the best
Ramen in Tokyo."
Chris: For more reason than one! [gets whapped by Skuld and Urd] What'd I
say?
Urd: It wasn't what you said...
Skuld: It's how you said it.
Chris: I get no respect.
Zen: Join the club, friend. Join the club.
Elsewhere....
Shampoo stopped her bike as she noticed the flurry of activity
outside the restaurant. She wasn't sure what restaurant it was until
Ukyou stepped out, handing okinomiyaki to everyone that passed by,
while saying, "And here's a free sample for you! And for you! And
for you! It's all free today! Ranchans alive!"
Shampoo got off her bike and stomped over to Ukyou and grabbed her
by the shoulder. "Spatula Girl know about husband?"
Yuri: What makes Shampoo think that Nabiki won't sell the info to others?
Zen: Hopeless optimism?
"Hell yeah," Ukyou snapped back, "it took most of todays earnings
but it was worth it.... and Ranchan will NEVER be your husband!"
"Who he marry then? Pervert Spatula Girl!"
Zen: YES! The pervert Spatula Girl!
Kei: <whaps Zen> Down, boy, you're drooling.
Yuri: <nods, and dumps a glass of water over Zen's head> Maybe THIS will
cool you off.
Zen-chan: ...
The people paled as Ukyou drew her kick butt spatula and Shampoo
drew her bonbori.
Things were returning to normal.
Chris: You know, property values in Nerima must be abysmaly low.
Zen-chan: That's because with all the repair expense, no one has a Real
Estate.
Yuri: <moans>
Kei: Sorry, Yuri, but that won't win the bet either.
Zen-chan: ...
And in the future....
"SHENRON! COME FORTH!"
Skuld: Daimon?
Urd: Sounds like it.
Zen-chan: Not the Ghost Horse then...
Yuri: Ghost horse?
Kei: oh no...
Zen-chan: Sure! Youma ma!
Yuri: <blinks> oops.
Chris: Whoohoo! Crisis Sailor Moon! [pales] Oh, gods no.
Urd: 'Niichan, what's wrong.
Chris: [ranting] It's horrible1 It's evil!
Skuld: What are you talking about?
Zen-chan: Uh oh...
Chris: Daimon means Sailor Moon S. Sailor Moon S means....Chibi Usa!
[screams] Oh the humanity!
Zen-chan: <bigsweats> Maaaaa.... No! Nyet! Iie! Please!
Urd: Don't you think you're blowing that just a little out of proportion?
Chris: Remember my Magic Knight Rayearth tapes? That character Mokonayou
hate so much?
Skuld: It's so KAWAI! How could you hate it?
Zen-chan: Oh, it's EASY... TRUST Zen....
Chris: Chibi-Usa is kawai and annoying. 90% of the time she's on I want
to smack her.
Urd: [shudders] Bleah...
Zen-chan: <pales> No... please no... oh, no... anything but that...
<twitches violently>
Yuri: <concerned> Zen-chan? Waht is it?
Kei: Don't you know better than to ask questions like that? What if he...
er... she answers it?
Zen-chan: <oblivious> Think about it... if Ranma marries Usagi in this
continuity, what's the spore be like? Pink hair and a pig tail? Would she
turn into a boy in the right temperature water? And what about...
Yuri: Enough! Make her stop, Kei! Make her stop!
Zen-chan: ...the attacks? Can you see a pink-haired boy in an abbreviated
sailor fuku waving that ridiculous wand? And...
Kei: <pales> This is gonna be tough... Yuri, you subdue her... I'll go get
the chocolate and the peanut-butter...
Zen-chan: <twitches> no... peanut... butter... dammit...
Yuri: But Zen! The brownies are much better with it!
Voice: ANYWAY....
Chris: Nice work, Flashman, but it needs some grammer/spelling work.
Zen-chan: GrammAr
Yuri: It was good work, Flashman. The next one soon?
Kei: Yes, soon. It's always a good chance to come in and molest.. er..
pester Zen.
Zen-chan: Rolls eyes... oh no... Zen still hasn't finished the repairs from
the LAST time...
[fade to black as the whimpering starts]
Yuri-voice: Now, Zen, hold still. If you move, my aim'll be off.
Zen-chan-voice: But why can't you cut apples like normal people? On a
table, with a knife? And with the lights ON, dammit!
Kei-voice: Relax, Zen! She didn't hit you last time!
Zen-chan-voice: but Zen was shaped differently then... And she DID hit
everything else!
<<ZAPP>>
Yuri-voice: Dammit, Zen, quit dodging!
Christopher Angel
Zen no Itan-sha
(still dodging)