Time for that annual Halloween tradition... the revengefic!

This is a continuation of last year's revengefic.  Let me know if you need a
copy of it.

And this is *real* revenge.  No wish fulfillment here.  Trust me.



Richard Gets More of What's Coming to Him

By Ranma Saotome and <Illegible Scrawl>


I sit at the table, rocking slightly, staring at the wall.  I often do
that.  It's the safest thing to do.

I listen for it.  It is moving around the kitchen, humming to itself.
Probably fixing something for me.  I shudder, more in reflex than
anything else.

Then suddenly I hear it move closer.  It enters the room and smiles
broadly.  "Hello, Richard-chan."

"Hello, Kasumi-sama."  I stretch my lips and tried my best to point them
upwards.

"Have some tea."  It sets a tray in front of me.  Among the items on it
was a teacup.

I pick it up, automatically mumbling "Thank you."  I can see my
reflection perfectly in the surface of the tea.  Cheeks gaunt - I've
barely eaten in a year.  Eyes sunken - can't afford to sleep too
soundly.

I bring the teacup to my mouth and touch my lips to it.  Then I set it
on the table.  "Delicious, Kasumi-sama."

"Thank you, Richard-chan."  It smiles at me.  And actually, it looks
quite beautiful.  I wish I could tell if it - she - really loved me.
But she might be a homicidal killer hiding behind a mask of domesticity.
 I can't afford to let my guard down, not for a second, or she'll gobble
me up rip me to shreds chop me slice me...

I'm rocking again.  I try to stop.  I shouldn't appear to be afraid of
her.  She might be a nice, normal person, in which case she doesn't
deserve my fear.

Her eyes crinkle, and I wonder what's behind them.  I would dearly like
to know, did I get the lady or the tiger, I need to know one way or the
other or I'm going to go insane.

If I haven't already.

She points to something else on my tray.  I know what she's going to
say, and tears come to my eyes in anticipation.  "Have a cookie, Ri-"

A strong voice cuts through the room.  "All right, that's enough."

I raise my head and blink.  It's him.  Ranma.  The one who's been
exacting his revenge on me this past year.  He's looking at me,
smirking, a look of deep satisfaction on his face.

"Ranma."  I stumble over to him, fall to my knees at his feet, clutch at
him.  "Please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, for the love of
God..."

"Don't worry, Lawson."  He pushes me off.  "I'm through with you.
You're free to go."  He points.

I turn, and there's a door in the wall, one that hasn't been there
before.  I look back at Ranma, startled.  He looks slightly annoyed.
"Get out before I change my mind."

I gasp, rise, and run towards the door.  I thrust it open and stumble
through, never looking back at her, afraid of what she might do if I
did.

I'm free.

---

"Damn, that was great."  Ranma grinned at the closing door.  "He really
was suffering, that's good."  He turned.  "Thanks, Kasumi."

"My pleasure."  She begins clearing off the table.  "Really, writing
that awful story where I kill everyone.  Honestly."

Ranma frowned.  "How did he treat you?"

"As if I were a bomb."  She chuckled.  "It was easy, really.  Just a
hint of disapproval at the right moment, and he'd cringe.  He was really
terrified of me.  He'd mumble over and over in his sleep, 'The lady or
the tiger?  The lady or the tiger?'."

Ranma's frown deepened.  "Did he ever try to... you know...?"

"Once."  She smiled softly.  "He actually kissed me.  I bit his lip by
'accident' while simultaneously wrapping my hands around his throat and
squeezing slightly.  I apologized, of course, and told him I was sorry.
After that, he kept as far away from me in the bed as possible, and he'd
never fall asleep while I was awake."

Ranma shook his head.  "Sounds like you managed him well.  Thanks
again."

Kasumi stood up with the tray in her hands.  "So you're satisfied now?"

"Yup.  He's learned his lesson."

"Has he?"  Kasumi tilted her head.  "Have you read the stories he wrote
last year?"

"Er, no.  Been kinda busy, you know, and there's so much stuff that
comes out..."

"Oh my."  Kasumi set the tray back down and pulled a sheaf of papers
from her apron.  "You may want to give this a read."

"Hmm?"  Ranma took the papers from Kasumi.  "Not another 'Thy' story.
Who do I marry this time?"

Kasumi looked grim and spoke with uncharacteristic brusqueness.  "It
sure ain't Akane."

Ranma rapidly began scanning the words.  He flipped page after page.
Slowly, his face turned red.  He gripped the pages tighter and tighter
until they eventually crumbled in his hand.  He looked up at the door,
his eyes dark embers of anger, his jaw clenched.  "LAWSON!"

---

I stumble onto the pavement.  I fall to my hands and knees.  It's over.
At last, the long nightmare is over.  First I'm gonna find a McDonald's
and order three Extra Value Meals, Super-Sized.  Then I'm gonna find
some poor unsuspecting soul and be extremely rude to them.  And *then*
I'm gonna sleep for a year.

I get up, a genuine smile on my face.  It begins to fade as I get my
bearings.  I'm not back home.  I appear to still be in Nerima.  I
thought Ranma said he was-

"Hello!"  The enthusiastic greeting is accompanied by someone slapping
my back with enough force to drive a nail through armor plate.  I hit
the deck, hard.  My whole body aches, and my head is ringing.

I look up into a friendly face surrounded by masses of scarlet hair.  It
takes a moment for it to click.  "Atsuko."

"My name's really Nuku Nuku."  She's smiling as she says this.  She
grabs my shirt and hauls me to my feet.  "Nice to meet you!"

"Er, nice to meet you."  Dang, she's cute.  Bubbly, big wide eyes, a
fanboy's dream physique.  I want to reach out and touch her skin to see
what it feels like, but I restrain myself.

Suddenly, my eyes get very wide.  "Er, you're not going to... *do*
anything to me, are you?"

Nuku Nuku has a very cute pout.  "You killed me.  You went through all
this trouble to develop my character, and then you destroyed my brain
and started over with some android."  She lowers her eyebrows, and
suddenly she has a mean, predatory look about her.  "That's not nice."

Oh no.  Not again.  "Please, I'm sorry, I... I'll go back and... and
make some miracle cure, a way to transfer RNA to another brain or..."

"Eww!"  Suddenly she smiles, all cute again.  "That's gross.  Don't
worry about it."

I should worry about it, I know.  But her words relax me.  If she's not
upset, I shouldn't be either.  "Okay.  You're nice, At- Nuku Nuku."

"Thank you!"  She beams at me.  She has very nice smile.  I could lose
myself in it.

"Pretty..."  I can't seem to say anything more intelligent than that.

"Hush, Richard-san."  She pats my head.  "You've been too strung out,
too excited, like Mama-san gets sometimes.  You need to relax, to leave
your troubles behind you."

That sounds so nice.  I can't exactly follow it, but it sure seems like
a pleasant thing to do.  I fall to my knees, my eyes half-closed.

I look up at her, confused.  "What'r you doin' t'me?"

She holds up a box that I somehow didn't see before.  It's got a button
on it that she's holding down.  "Pacifier.  Like you wrote about in your
stories.  To soothe your mind and make it fall asleep."

I try to fight against it.  "Don' wanna...  lemme go, wanna g'home..."
I fall to the ground.

She squats down beside me.  "There there, Richard-san.  Relax.  I'll
take you home with me to meet my family.  You'll like them!  And you'll
never have to worry about anything ever again."

I struggle to speak, to lift my arm, to do anything.  Instead, blackness
descends as Nuku Nuku strokes my hair and speaks soothing words.

---

Kyusaku cursed as he nearly dropped the stack of papers he was holding.
Damn tests to be graded.  So much of teaching was mind-numbingly dull
paperwork.

He dumped them all on the kitchen table and called out, "Nuku Nuku!"

"Papa-san!"  Nuku Nuku came flouncing into the room.  She was quite
dirty, and had all sorts of stains covering her face, arms, and clothes.
 That didn't stop her from hugging Kyusaku fiercely.

"Nuku Nuku!"  He pushed her off.  "What have you been doing?"  He
reached down and wiped at some of the smudge that had been transferred
to his shirt.  "What is this, oil?"

"Sort of.  Hi, Ryunosuke!"  She waved enthusiastically as Kyusaku's son
entered the kitchen.

"Hey, Nuku Nuku."  He dropped his backpack on the table, sending the
test papers flying all over the kitchen.  Kyusaku merely sighed heavily.

Ryunsosuke looked over at the door.  "What's that?"

"It's my new pet!"  Nuku Nuku lifted a cat from the floor and held it in
her arms.  "Isn't he neat?"

Kyusaku examined the cat.  Gray with white stripes.  Large green eyes
looked around the room with evident confusion.  Kyusaku grimaced, hating
the fact that there was a cat here but knowing that he'd have no choice
but to let it stay here in the face of Nuku Nuku's and Ryunosuke's
enthusiasm.

Ryunosuke certainly looked excited.  "Hey!  Can I hold him!"

"Sure!"  Nuku Nuku handed the cat over.

"Oof!"  Ryunosuke staggered slightly.  "He's heavy."

Nuku Nuku nodded.  "I just put him together in Papa-san's lab.  He's
like me, except reversed!"

Kyusaku was suddenly very interested.  "It's an android cat?"

"Yup!  What do you think, Papa-san?"

Kyusaku bent down to look at the cat.  The cat looked back at him and
meowed uncertainly.  Whatever AI Nuku Nuku had programmed into it was
working extremely well.  The cat sure acted alive.  Kyusaku could see
the tell-tale signs of android construction, however.

"Amazing.  You'll have to show me how you did it, Nuku Nuku."

"Sure!  Let me clean up the lab first.  It's a little messy."

Ryunosuke groaned and let the cat drop.  "You're too big to hold,
kitty!"

Nuku Nuku beamed.  "His name is Richard-san!"

Kyusaku grunted.  Now he had a daughter with a cat's name and a cat with
a human's name.

The cat was peering at one of the test papers on the ground.  It meowed
and pawed at the papers, as if trying to lift the words off the page.

Kyusaku looked up at Nuku Nuku.  "What's he doing?"

"Oh, he just thinks he's more than a silly cat.  This is just...
transitory."  She giggled in response to some joke that was beyond
Kyusaku.  "In time, he'll forget all about that and just be a nice
friendly cat like I used to be!"  She beamed.

Kyusaku suddenly went cold.  Like Nuku Nuku, only reversed.  Kyusaku
looked down at the smudge on his shirt and wondered what exactly it was
composed of.

The cat came up to him and pawed his leg once, looking at him with eyes
that looked confused, with eyes that wanted something but didn't know
what.

Kyusaku was pretty certain he knew what it was the cat wanted.

The cat meowed plaintively, sending a shiver down Kyusaku's spine while
Nuku Nuku laughed playfully.

~*~

THE END (Until next year)