Subject: [FFML] Revenge.. be careful what you wish for.
From: bcadwgan@fl.net.au (Barry Cadwgan)
Date: 10/31/1997, 4:33 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Well, as it is (or was here) Hallowen,  this is my revenge fic, the complete
version (I posted the first part many months ago, but not the remainder)

Be careful what you wish for.


REVENGE

It was late at night and I was tapping away happily, working on my story...

I saw a movement reflected in the screen and started to turn towards it.. there
was a faint <phut> and I felt something wet hit the back of my neck.  I
collapsed forward and last thing I remembered was my computer beeping
frantically as the keyboard buffer overflowed...

Some are born to consciousness, some achieve consciousness, I had it thrust upon
me in the form of a needle in the arm...

I'd only ever had one hangover, and this was worse...  I was lying on something
soft, like a bed or something.  I cracked an eye open and wished I hadn't.

Either I was a few cogs short of a cuckoo clock, someone had fed me some
hallucinogen or, naaa, couldn't be... that Revenge fic thing Hitomi had warned
me about in that E-mail a while back?

>From left to right there was : 

A guy in a tan and black Federation Space Navy uniform with Mobile Suit Pilot
wings, Ensigns insignia and a TFNS Triton shoulder patch  He had haunted grey
eyes, black hair and a cold expression.  The name patch read M. Grey..

Four _Very_ familiar hardsuits.

A girl in black bike leathers with yellow accents, black hair, yellow eyes who's
feet didn't touch the ground and who strongly resembled ..

A man with grey and black face paint in matching splinter pattern BDUs under an
Armour jacket and a variety of weapons and tools who was standing up after
injecting me with something.  Fenris, wolf totem shaman and shadowrunner

Last, A woman in a stylish business suit in her mid 30s with long purple hair,
expressionless.

They were all looking down at me, obviously no point in pretending I was still
asleep.

"Let me guess, I'm either cuckoo, hallucinating or in Really Bad Trouble"

"You're in trouble" said the white hardsuit.

"You put me through Hell" said Mike Grey, the MS pilot.

"You almost killed me " followed Linna, flipping up her visor.

"You had me thinking I was around the twist" growled Priss

Nene piped up "I had fun... hey, stop looking at me like that"

Sylia was silent, unmoving.

Angua, the biker girl just grinned wolfishly, and my mouth went dry...

Fenris rasped "You gave me amnesia, jerked my life around, dumped me from one
universe to another and ... GRRRRR"

Madigan looked down cooly at me "You put me through hell too even if you haven't
done more than sketch out the plot, but I wound up CEO of Genom..." she smiled
faintly.  I was not reassured...

"So" I quavered "What do you want anyway..."

"We just want to express our... Appreciation.. for everything you've done for
us." Sylia's voice was cold.

"Hold on a moment... the Knight Sabers, Fenris, Angua and Kate I can understand,
but Grey, you're a Role Playing Game character.. what's your excuse?"

"Remember that short story you wrote a few months ago? To give the GM a few more
plot hooks? That's enough boyo, your arse is grass and I've got a lawnmower!"

"Oh... yeah.... Right... Well, I know that even Nene in a Hardsuit can fold,
bend, spindle and mutilate me, and the rest of you... (shudder).. so, what did
you plan?"

Angua finally spoke, her voice smoky "Well, for starters, you can lighten up a
bit, all this thud and blunder melodrama, doom and gloom and angst..."

"Too fragging right" seconded Fenris

I looked at Angua "Hey, I'm working on it.. aren't you and Miss Gluttonova
having fun?? The Wolf and the Food Monster?  The Twin Terrors of MegaTokyo
Ice-cream parlours and Dessert Palaces?"

"MISS GLUTTONOVA?  FOOD MONSTER?  WHY YOU.."

"Hey, If the shoe fits.." chuckled Priss restraining the enraged redhead

"And what about me?" Grey's voice, reverting to a clipped upper class Zeon
accent, cut through the incoherent shrieks of rage from Nene

"Well,  it's not all my fault... Blame Peter, the GM for half of it..."

"That means half is Your responsibility.  And you know how I feel about
Responsibility Earther"  his eyes were wintery.  

I started to get up on one elbow "Look, can I sit up, it's uncomfortable..."

"No"  Linna pushed me back down  "we _want_ you feeling uncomfortable
psychologically, just be thankful we haven't stripped you, strapped you down,
blindfolded you and ...

"Hold on, we agreed! No Lemon!  He's not Kun-chan.  I mean he hasn't even
decided how far you and Fenris have gone yet... oh, you meant..." Angua trailed
off embarrassed 

Linna's face suddenly matched the red accents on her hardsuit  "What do you
think I am? Some sort of.."

"Round heels? Yoyo Drawers? Hot, Free and Easy?" drawled  Madigan

"RRRGGGGGG" from both Fenris and Linna

"ENOUGH" shouted Sylia "Let us keep our focus shall we."  She lifted a bucket.

My tone was disgusted... "Oh No. Not Jusenkyo water, that's been done to DEATH!
I haven't done Anything in the Ranmaverse, unless you count GRIT.  Couldn't you
think of something...."  

I finally put my brain in gear as I saw the grins... *Ok, we have Sylia
Stingray, scientific genius, Kate Madigan commercial genius, Mike Grey, equally
bright, Fenris who's just plain mean and lots of highly motivated help from the
others, whatever they have come up with, I won't enjoy it.*

I counted five grins, then the rest of the Hardsuit visors came up and there
were eight...

"You're serious aren't you...  Ah guys, can't we talk about it?"...

"HHHEEEELLLLPPPP"

"Oh stop snivelling, it's unbecoming. No one can hear you anyway" 

"Angua, this is NOT in my job description! I'm an engineer not a..."

"You, chuckles, are whatever we want you to be." 

"Hold on a minute, why are you doing this?  I'm sorry about the angst and so on,
but if I didn't like you guys, even you Kate, in a strange sort of way, I
wouldn't bother writing about you.  What's our favourite tag line eh Fenris,
Mike?" 

"If it was easy, anyone could do it?" they chorused

"But that still doesn't excuse..." Grey continued

"What's to excuse?  You're Heroes!  Every one of you!  If you wanted an easy
life why did you put on the Hardsuits or that uniform?  Hell's Teeth!  If you
aren't tested in the fires of adversity how would your true metal be revealed?
I've been trying to take you all seriously, show you some respect! And put a
little humor in there too"

"mumble mumble gluttonova mumble mumble food monster mumble mumble"

Kate Madigan sat down next to me and ruffled my hair "Well, you haven't done
much with me yet, but at least it looks like you are making me into something
more than the usual villainess most writers turn me into."

"Thanks, it's nice to get _some_ appreciation."

Linna poked me in the ribs with an armoured finger "Well, _I_ want a Happy
Ending!"

"Hey, there's no such thing as a Happy Ending, either you all get killed
dramatically, or there's a day after, and a group of professional trouble
magnets like you'd get Bored!  Besides, I have to leave myself a few loose ends
to maintain continuity with the next one."

"What about My problems Earther!  You screwed up at Kham Ran Bay and I got shot
in the leg!"

"Hey, an RPG isn't like a fan-fic, you can't rewind and start over, and I didn't
think fast enough.  Anyway, how about You at Seal Rocks, tripping yourself up
and then freezing when the patrol arrived.   That was all your own work!  Anyway
what have you got to complain about, you're the best pilot in the Squadron, and
from what the GM says, he's got some interesting plotlines for you...  You think
Ranma's got problems with fiancees. HeHeHe"

"What Are You Talking About!" Grey hissed grabbing my shirt and lifting me up

"Well,  in the next little while, you're going to run into Myfanwe, Aletys and
probably a female relative of Senator Takashi, on top of Rowena... And this is
NOT my fault."

He let me drop back down "Maybe I can desert to side 6..." he whispered

"Come on, it's not all bad, you managed to get Cypher a good one dying him green
after the party.  He still doesn't know who did it."

"Cypher couldn't find his arse with both hands."

"Don't underestimate him, he's almost as smart as you, and he has intelligence
training."

"And what of Linna and I, O Author? " Fenris now claimed my attention

"Yeah, leaving us up in the air because you're too timid to define our
relationship!"

"Well, what do _You_ want?

"Well, ahh, um..."

"You see my problem?  Don't worry, it'll get there.  Just have a little
patience."

Sylia spoke "Well, be that as it may Barry, aside from confusing me horribly for
a while, I have nothing _personal_ against you, but the risks you are taking
with the world I live in... "

"What am I supposed to do?  Let you walk all over the opposition?  It all has
it's own internal logic, once Genom knows about magic, the rest is on railroad
tracks."

"Well, I like it" smiled Kate, allowing a little mage-fire to gather on her
palm.  "It's opened up whole new worlds to conquer."

Sylia turned to  the executive "This is supposed to making me feel better about
these stories?  Megamisama! The situation is unstable enough as it is without
adding magic to the mix!"

"Seriously Sylia, I think we are going to have to have a little talk when we get
back.  Lets just say, I've had a few insights recently."

"What? A kinder, gentler GENOM?  Don't make me laugh!" snorted Priss
contemptuously.

Sylia interrupted "I can see we cannot even agree on what we are trying to
accomplish here.  Before we take any precipitate action we Must decide what our
goals are.."

They all began talking at once..
"Less angst"
"True Love"
"More fight scenes"
"A Lot less Angst"
"Lighten up"
"More Ice-cream"
"NENE!"

"Well, I can see this will take some time" shrugged Sylia, Madigan nodded in
agreement.

"Don't mind me" I said, getting up "Take all the time you want"

Fenris blurred around the bed to intercept me  "Not so fast chummer, you're not
going ANYWHERE so stay frosty.  We haven't forgotten you.  Not by a _long_
shot." 

It was one thing to write about enhanced reflexes, but another thing to see them
in action.  Scarey.

Kate spoke over the hubbub "I suggest we discuss this further elsewhere.  It's
not like he's going anywhere."  She looked at Sylia who nodded to Fenris.

He pulled an air-hypo out and before I could react, injected me...

*Why'd I have to make him so damn fast...* I thought as the darkness reached up
to claim me....

The sound of the keyboard buffer overflowing woke me up... I'd fallen asleep
writing, and had had the weirdest dream... Hey, there was a new icon on the
desktop... Read Me Now... I opened it.


	Hi Barry, this is the 'Food Monster'.  

	I've installed a new TSR on your machine.  

	Don't try to wipe it,  I wrote it myself.  
	It will feed us what you've written every time you 
	surf the Net.  If you don't pull your socks up and 
	write nice, we'll come back and do nasty horrible 
	things to you.  

	Sylia says that the unknown is a far greater threat 
	than the known... lets your imagination do the work 
	for us.  I think she's got a point. Don't you?

	Well anyway, we'll be seeing you around.

	Love and kisses
	Nene Romanova

	PS : Angua and I won't let them do anything _too_ 
	nasty to you, us  redhead computer geeks have to stick
	together

The file then wiped itself and I couldn't recover it... but since then, there
has been a lot more modem activity than I can account for...  Maybe I'd better
let someone know...  

Naaaa just a bad dream.



BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR....

Well, weeks passed, I continued typing away in spurts of creativity...  

I'd rearranged the room so I could see the door when I was sitting at my
computer... a shadow fell on me as Angua phased in and picked me up, one hand
over mouth and the other arm holding my arms against my sides.  "Sorry about
this" she whispered.

Then the Knight Sabers, Fenris and Angua filed in, Sylia carrying the dreaded
bucket.. Nene looking diffident and anxious.. the others... I couldn't read at
all... mind you, they were all in armour with the faceplates down.. 

Linna stalked over to me "You really did it didn't you.  Sheesh!", then she
stood clear.

This time it was different... no falling asleep, no discontinuity.. this was
real, and they were going to do something horrible to me.. real gut wrenching
fear..  I felt a sick, helpless, hopeless despair as I struggled against the
wolf-spirit holding me.  At least I forced her to use both hands to hold me.
Then I stopped... If I was going to go, at least it would be with dignity... and
maybe I could lull them...

I looked at Sylia's faceless, merciless visage.. desolation in my heart...

"Shoot straight you bastards.."  

The last words of 'Breaker' Morant.. pity my voice cracked... rather spoilt the
effect..

Sylia wound up... 

A funny swirly thing as the Cat from Red Dwarf would say..   a whirlpool in
space time formed in front of me.. could this be one of the fabled plot holes...
I had sent off the box of breakfast food as requested..   never really expecting
anything to come of it...

Angua and Fenris collapsed... the disruption must have affected them.. maybe
magical aptitude had a few drawbacks after all...  The others stared in shock.
Well, just about anything was better than whatever Sylia and Co. must have had
planned even if it looked a little wobbly.. sort of like it was still forming..
So I took a running jump into it before anyone could stop me.  

It was a chance.

Famous last words... 

I fell down the tunnel.. a little like Alice through the looking glass..  There
were stars and galaxies.. a really spectacular show..  It could have been worse
I remember thinking.. until my ears popped and I noticed a starfield at the
other end.. and the air pressure kept dropping.. I was gasping for air that just
wasn't there anymore.. spots before my eyes..  my last conscious thought was to
survive.. an image of a form that could survive.  Could survive anywhere,
anything ... Survive survive survi.....

There was blackness... 

			+++++

I was aware.. 

I felt different.. a piercing pang as though something deep inside had been
touched, changed.. 

I saw static.. then my vision cleared..   

I felt something.. not a voice.. not vision.. as if I was talking to myself..
in my head.. 

<UNIT IFR COLD BOOT POWER ON SELF TEST>
<Neural Net Test>
<Warning : 14 SPUs nonfunctional.  67 SPUs report intermittent function>
<Non-volatile memory 864 Terawords free>
<Neural Net at 48% baseline>
<Masterkey = {Null}>
<Power system at 36% baseline>
<Power system runup.. nominal>
<Converters at 22% baseline>
<Power sink at 48 Gigajoules : 37% capacity>
<Void-Tap systems : Standby>
<Shields at 12% baseline>
<Activate shields.. shields nominal>
<Weapons systems at 8% baseline>
<Begin Weapon Preheats>
<Sensors at 44% baseline>
<Lift and Drive at 63% Baseline>
<Current Threat level Evaluation : Low>
<Select Battle Reflex : Standby>
<Weapon Preheats Complete>
<Weapons : Tight>
<Unit IFR operational at 12% weighted baseline capacity>
<Recommendation : Immediate Maintenance Required>
<Mission Objective : None>
<Tasking : None>
<Target : None>

I was falling.. and for a moment I panicked ...

Then I realised.. I wasn't falling.. I was floating... a sea of stars.. I could
see, and what I could see.. Glory... I could see the 3 Kelvin microwave
background..  Gamma rays and beyond... hear the music of the spheres.. 

And it was Beautiful!

I do not know how long I just floated, stunned by the majesty of the universe...
Then I got my mind back into gear.. Unit IFR?  Cold Boot POST?  I looked at a
hand.. narrower, more delicate.. I was wearing a long black glove.. two of them,
but there was a band of skin between the end of the glove and the end of the
sleeve..  pale almost white.. and had a nasty suspicion.. I looked down at
myself.. and immediately noticed two additions.  I felt for confirmation, and,
yes, I now had breasts.. and there was an absence further down.. 

And then there was the staff.. almost two meters long.. an axe head at one end
and two spheres along it's length in one hand..    I tugged a lock of hair into
view... long..  too long... and squinted.. pale blue. I felt the small of my
back... yep the socket thingy <Power-Key-Staff I/O Port> part of my mind
whispered.  And I was wearing that funny grey body stocking and charcoal jacket.

HELL'S TEETH!

I'd turned into a Demon-god... or at least my imagining of one.. my last
thoughts.. survival at all costs.. Be careful what you wish for... 

Ifurita ... The Demon-god.. the Destroyer.. Breaker of kingdoms, Slayer of
armies... Ancient, immensely powerful, virtually invulnerable... crippled in
mind, body and spirit.  

Oh Heck.  I had memories... whole cities vaporising, nothing could stand against
the most powerful Demon-God ever created... so many deaths... Megadeaths..  Oh
God... A rush of overwhelming grief and vicarious guilt and for a moment I
wanted to die.. 

My mind froze for a moment. 

<Unit Survival Imperative unless Mission Objective Overrides>  

...then my thoughts were my own again... I had, it seemed, a subconscious with
attitude.

I was calm again 

"OK then. Right. Survival.. where am I?"

I felt my mind fill with crystalline certainties..  My Nav system did not know
where I was, but then it was loaded with data for El Hazard... I knew I was
located between a planetary body and it's moon.. I turned.. I did not know how
until I thought about it for a moment.. using a force field to warp space/time
to.. then it got technical.. but I could manoeuvre in or out of atmosphere..
even underwater..  in _Magma_ if necessary... and saw the Earth.. 

The nightside glittered with the lights of cities.. scattered like jewels... I
looked for a long long moment.. Home.. 

<Nav system does not detect any recognisable features.  Begin mapping>

In the Infra Red, I could see coastlines easily enough.. Australia.. Sydney.. 

<Nav system plotting flight plan.. Plotted.>
<Alert : EM based tracking systems detected in target area>
<Interrogative:  Select Mission Posture : Defence Suppression or Stealth>

I thought of suppression.. Images formed of fire lancing down from orbit onto
Sydney and Bankstown Airports and Richmond Airbase...  Radar towers toppling.
The tank farms exploding.. More fire... burning it down to bare rock... _Defence
Suppression_...  

Stealth.  I think.. definitely stealth.  The worrying thing was a small part of
me.. the old me.. wanted to do it.. just to see what would happen.  There is a
little of the wrecker in all of us I suppose.  Just have to watch myself..

I plotted a HALO insertion to land an area of bushland a few blocks from home..
HALO.. High Altitude, Low Opening.. a flare of power at the last moment, just
enough to turn a crash into a landing..   Dead easy.  No fear of heights now..
that was... strange.

A few broken tree branches and a small patch of scorched grass later and I was
on the ground.. I began to walk home..   Walking was strange, as soon as I
started thinking about it I stumbled, catching myself against a tree.  The
centipede syndrome.  My balance was all wrong, legs further apart
proportionally.. 

I had not even reached the edge of the patch of native bush I'd selected...

<Alert :  Tracking 7 targets moving on attack vector>
<Battle Reflex : Active>
<Weapons Tight>
<Targets : Human in Powersuit : 4  Human : 1  Unclassified : 1>

The Anime avengers undoubtedly.. Nene probably detected the landing.  I felt a
flash of rage.. <Emotional response counterproductive : Suppressed>

Time telescoped... I felt systems coming on line.. Active sensors.. fire
control... weapons.. defenses... but there were great gaping holes in my mind..
systems that had failed over ten thousand years.. 

For some reason, I couldn't muster up any anger or fear.  I felt cool... not
physically, but emotionally, as if everything was damped...  Presumably the
battle reflex, or an aspect of it.. 

They weren't in sight yet, but targeting icons and attack options filled my
mind.. crippled though I was, I still had firepower measured in kilotons per
second and defenses to match.. 

<Incoming Fire : Evading>

I found myself moving automatically to one side, dodging a volley of railgun
needles... I saw the flare of the magnetic pulse from the weapon... I detected
the energy signature of a hardsuit.. four familiar hardsuits.. 

I could see nimbuses of power, trace the circuitry of the hardsuits, evaluations
flashed through my mind, capabilities, points of vulnerability, power outputs...
Sylia's suit had something clipped to it... 

<Evaluate as Dimensional Translocator  : Tag : Lightgate Generator>

.. so that's how they got here. ...

I could feel a part of myself wanting to respond.. return fire.. kill them.  No!
Whatever they had done, I wasn't going to be like that.. not a killer.. 

"Fuckin Boomer.." Priss bounded in swinging... I dodged again.

Boomer?  I guess she would think that...

The other Knight Sabers, and Fenris and Angua had encircled me.. 

I held up one hand "Wait a minute Priss..." I ducked again  "...it's not what
you think."

"Hold Still!  Hey!  How'd you know my name!"

I put on an evil grin, let some blue and red streamers of energy flare from my
shields and lifted off...  then struck a dramatic pose..  She froze.

"Because, Priscilla S. Asagari, I am the Great and Powerful OZ!  I know all and
I see all!"

Priss had a _total_ sense of humour failure...

It was almost two minutes of continuous cursing without repeating herself once..


Linna stood stunned by her fluency.. Nene with her hands over where her helmet
covered her ears.. I suspect she was taking mental notes.. and blushing
furiously.. Sylia took on a long suffering pose.. Fenris stood calmly by Linna
and Angua was grinning fit to burst.

I had been hovering.. lounging in mid air looking insouciant all the better to
irritate her.. I wasn't about to hurt anyone if I could help it, but that didn't
mean I couldn't have some fun at their expense...

<NMI : Checksum Failure in SPUs Delta 14,17,28 Gamma 42,43,57 : Node Reset>

...and there was this pain in all the diodes on my left side as my mind
dissolved in a hash of static. 

My vision cleared, grainy at first... I found myself lying on the ground
engulfed in a firestorm of lasers, railgun bolts, fireballs and manabolts..

<Shields Strained, holding>
<Threat Level High>
<Weapons Free : Autonomous Targeting Initiated>
<Select Lightarrow : Tracking : Lock failure : Target Solution unavailable>
<TAC system Override : Suppressing fire and Evade>  

I began to spray-fire in return while accelerating straight up at 150
gravities.. 

Sylia and Angua pursued... but Sylia was left behind after a few moments.. I
felt a slight shock as I cracked Mach 1 at 60 meters.. so much for quiet! 

Angua could keep up... but not and fight.. my target tracking was stuffed.. I
could fire, but I couldn't hit anything smaller than a city at this speed.. but
I could operate ex-atmosphere.. she could not.

Reduced to firing over open sights.. Where once I was a rapier.. now I was a
bludgeon.. or a sledgehammer.  While I could only hit a city.. I could _kill_ a
city.

I looked down, the section of bush I'd landed in was burning.. spot fires all
over the place.  Bloody Hell!

Once I had left Angua and the last wisps of atmosphere behind, I coasted while I
thought.

Obviously they hadn't twigged that I was me.. mind you, that wasn't really
surprising.  I wasn't sure I was me..  <irrelevant.  define objective, plan then
execute.>

The trick would be to get them to go home.. without the means to return... then
I could start thinking about the other problem.. One thing at a time.  Break
down a big insoluble problem into a lot of small soluble ones.

I flipped over and initiated a de-orbit burn.

			+++++

I circled Ryde, scanning for them.. the energy signatures of the hardsuits stood
out like sore thumbs if you knew what to look for..

They had regrouped away from the burning park, on the top floor of the local
shopping center carpark.. quiet at 3 am and with a good field of view.. 

I observed and after a little while I had their comm links descrambled.  After
all, one of the first uses computers were put to was codebreaking..  and
cryptography is as much a weapon as HEL beams..

They were trying to work out what had happened to me, and what 'I' was..  'OZ'
certainly wasn't in it...

This time I came in hard and fast, just above the rooftops, barely subsonic.

A terminal pop-up and deceleration of 300 gravities strained my compensators but
was most impressive.. to them I would have just 'appeared'.

So of course they fired.. 

When the assorted CRUD cleared, I chuckled  "Impressive, but futile."

<Initiate Void Tap>
<Converters on line>
<Powersystem Crash Ramp Up>

I felt power flush through my systems... a strange exhilaration... 

<Void Tap Open : 22% converter efficiency : Warning Maximum safe capacity 1.3
Terawatt>

"Sylia, I don't like the look of this, the energy readings are going off the
scale!" Nene said, sounding a little shrill

"Now then.  Do you accept that you can't hurt me?"

"I concede the point." Sylia answered

<Select Red Thunder : Select 0.5 kt : Fusing 15 000m airburst : Ready to fire
and Holding>

"Now observe."

I held the Power-key staff up, pointing to the sky.. scanned for a moment..
good, no airliners in range..

<Fire for Effect>

Light gathered along the staff, built and then a beam shot out.. and for a
moment, there was a new star...

They froze.. 

"That was half a kiloton equivalent.  Small change.  Now here is what you are
going to do.  First, you will set that thing I can see on your suit..." I
pointed at Sylia with the staff, Priss and Linna moved to block me "..to take
you home, and I will activate it, and You. Will. Leave."

"And if we do not?" the daughter of Katsuhiro replied

I waited a moment... the dull boom arrived..  

"I will annihilate you.  You threaten my world.  You will leave and not return,
or you will die.  There is no third path."  I put as much chill into my voice as
possible.. I really didn't want my bluff called.  Even after what they had
done.. or rather forced me to do, I did not want them dead... I think...  I did
not want to find out anyway.

"Wh.. who are you?" asked Nene

Barry.. Ifurita.. Unit IFR? Who was 'I'? <What was I?> 

Several teraflops later I had no answer... no matter. This was not the time.
<mission objective>

"That is not relevant."  I turned to Sylia  "Stingray.  Your answer."

She stiffened.. I could visualise her thoughts.. I knew her name, and Priss's,
and had shrugged off their Alpha strike as if it was nothing, then boosted power
astronomically...

<Select Red Thunder : Select 0.5 kt : Fusing 15 000m airburst : Ready to fire
and Holding>

"Sylia, she's building up power the same way as she did before." Nene
transmitted

"Very well.  You leave us no choice."

		+++++

"There is always a choice Sylia.. always a choice, and consequences." I
whispered the gate closed behind them.

I collected the lightgate generator.. 

<Battle Reflex : Standby>

One problem abated..  umpteen more to go

<Invalid parameter : Umpteen>

<Define umpteen as numeric equivalent to many>

Now then.. what am I

<I am prototype Rapid Offensive Unit IFR.  colloquially called Demon God
Ifurita.>  I am also Barry Cadwgan, professional engineer.  <Contradiction :
unresolved>

I seemed to be thinking in two ways at once.. only one ego, me, but I was
flipping from one mindset to another.. 

My mind was filled with a sea of data.  I could think faster, more clearly...  I
could hear radio, see TV, a multitude of channels... my... subconscious?.. well,
I'm a computer!...  flagging one for attention .. mentioning the carpark I was
standing in.. 

<STACK OVERFLOW : TASK SUSPENDED : SYSTEM RESET>

I came to again.. there was something in my mouth.. plastic, and something was
pushing rhythmically on my chest.. four pushes and a puff of air from the
plastic thing.

<Battle Refle.. OVERRIDE! ABORT!>

A woman's voice "Still no pulse!"

A man's "Keep going!  She's still warm!"

I opened my eyes to see a very surprised police woman holding a ventilator bag
thing over my mouth, and her partner bent over me trying to give me CPR.. <but I
have no heart..>

I gently pushed them aside and stood, picking up the Power Key Staff.

<Uniforms and insignia not in database : Assume hostile?>
<Assign Friendly/Neutral status>

The man reacted first, the woman was muttering about no pulse.. 

"Hey Miss! You allright?"

"As well as can be expected thankyou.  Good night"  I began to walk off

"Hold on a moment.. you were.. there was no pulse, and you weren't breathing?
How.. what is going on?"  the female cop spluttered

I stopped "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to."

"Now listen miss, I think you should sit down and wait for the ambulance.  You
shouldn't be walking..."

I turned around..  Something must have shown on my face.. because he stumbled
back, clutching at his belt..

Things were escalating fast.. <How much do they know?>

I spread my arms and plastered a smile on my face, trying to look
non-threatening..

"Nothing's wrong that a lie down at home won't fix officer.  No need to trouble
yourselves."

"And just where is that Miz...."

Now we were coming into areas I wasn't about to answer.. couldn't answer without
opening several large cans of worms... Any rational government would lock me up
and throw away the key.. or worse...  No-one was going to control me, _No-one_!

I heard an approaching siren... time to leave.

<Battle Reflex : Active>
<Select Thunderflash : Select level : Non-permanent>
<Drives on line>
<On execute Thunderflash, immediate acceleration best speed vertical>

I looked back at them, freezing them with a glance.

<Execute Thunderflash>

And I was gone... 

			+++++

Another quiet landing and walk home.. this time uninterrupted.  

I'd taken off the headdress, it felt silly, and the coat and gloves as the tails
were dragging on the ground, and were a tripping hazard.  I used one glove to
tie back the mass of hair I'd inherited.

I had a little time to think as I walked.. 

Good news.. a very long life, and power beyond the dreams of men..  I could see
things beyond parallel... bad news.. I was a machine, more than that, a war
machine. <My reason for existence is to destroy> and my memories.. I began to
shiver.. <Irrational.  What cannot be cured must be endured> It wasn't me that
did that.. but still, the images of cities vaporising.. quickly, think of
something else...

I had a chilling thought.. with all the excitement, fire in the sky, bangs,
sirens.. there was a good chance people were awake, and seeing a pale, blue
haired woman.. I was quite distinctive now, those police would have at least
that much of a description. Better get off the streets ASAP. <I am not
configured for covert operations>

A short ballistic hop and I landed silently at the front steps.. the trees in
the front garden screened my landing reasonably well.. 

OK, I was at my front door... now how to get in without breaking in.. I
certainly didn't have my keys on me..  <Key...>

The obvious thing was to cut the tongue of the lock.. a deadlock should not be
any trouble..  It would be nice to try teasing it open, but I didn't have time.

A tightly focused beam, like a lightsaber a millimeter thick.. there was a waft
of burnt metal, paint and wood as I opened the door.  Have to replace it
tomorrow.. I braced it shut again with a chair.

Safe at last.. I heaved a sigh.. funny, I only needed to breath to talk.

Now then.. I looked down at myself.  This was a problem. <I stand out.  I cannot
operate effectively> but.. but what..  

It all crashed down on me.  I wasn't the same gender.. I wasn't even _human_
anymore..  I could remember things I never imagined in my worst nightmares..   I
didn't want this.. This was not what I wanted to be.. and something flipped like
a switch.. a tremendous sense of surprise as I was surrounded by a haze of
energy..  and I saw Kate Madigan poke her head around the doorway to the living
room!

And it hurt like blazes!  Like molten gold had been run into my marrow..

I was being ripped apart quark by quark and reassembled.. turned inside out!  An
agonising eternity of moments.  Finally, mercifully, I blacked out.

I came to looking into a pair of cold eyes framed by lavender hair.

"Is that you Barry?  Are you allright?  You look awful."

"I must look better than I feel then.. " I murmured.. 

I sat up, and immediately wished I hadn't... light head.. dizzy, stars, the
works.  Worse than a hangover.. like the time I'd woken up after the operation
on my wrist.. everything ached, like I'd been put together somehow wrong..
stretched out of shape.  I had no energy.. the limp dishrag syndrome...  

But I was myself again!  I felt an enormous grin spread over my face and winced
again..

"Aarrggg!"  I cracked one eye open to glare at Kate    

"Just what the hell are you jokers playing at!  I sure as hell can't write while
you're trying to kill me."

"That... that's a good question..."  a small crease formed between her brows, it
was as if she hadn't questioned her motives until now.

It was my turn for a total sense of humour failure..

"You mean you don't even know WHY you're fighting?.... Hmmm that's supposed to
be said _to_ me I think..  but still, What are you Doing!  Ohhh" I winced and
fell back. <unit status .. unit status indeterminate. Malfunction. > 

There was a moment of shock.. why was I thinking like that?  There were
cryogenic threads of logic weaving themselves into my mind.. becoming a part of
me..  this horrible sinking sensation in my guts.. 

"I spent the time waiting watching one of these videos.. El Hazard.  The
Hyperboomer Ifurita bore an _amazing_ resemblance to you as you came in.". She
smiled chillingly

I tried to scramble back, to get away from her.. 

"Calm down."  She produced a small pistol with a suppressor.  I didn't see where
from.

<Threat level : High>  A surge of rage and fear..  the situation triggered
responses.. _I_ hadn't been in a situation like this, but a part of me had.
There was an ability.. <Fact : Transformation possible in one direction.
Conjecture : Transformation possible in other direction.>  sounds good... I
imagined throwing a switch.. a large knife switch.. 

As the haze surrounded me again, my last thought was that no-one, NO ONE would
do anything like that to me again.  Never that helpless, I'd rather die or kill
than live with being that afraid again.  And if I had to be a monster of fire
and steel... then so be it.  Anything was better than feeling like that!

Anything.  

The pain was more bearable this time.. maybe I was getting used to it.

I opened my eyes, hearing the whisper in my mind of my systems resetting
themselves.. a bit like a laptop's sleep mode. Faster than the first time.

Kate was sitting back on her haunches staring, the gun dangling limply and
forgotten.

"Never threaten me Kate, if you're going to point a weapon at me, use it, but
never, _ever_ threaten me." I hissed venomously.  

While she sat there stunned, I went into my bedroom and put on a tracksuit.   I
really didn't like that leotard thing.   Very uncomfortable.. psychologically,
it left far too little to the imagination.

This time the Power-key-staff had not appeared.. I concentrated for a moment,
and it seemed to materialise in my hand... _That_ would come in handy...  I made
it disappear again.  A little mental twist and it was gone as if it had never
been.  My lifeline and my doom in one tidy package.  

I felt imperatives buried deep inside myself.. <obey the master of the key>.. I
would have no choice, and sooner or later the day would come when I would have
to choose between slavery and death.

I let out a sigh and sat on my bed.. this was too weird for words.

There was a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?"  Her voice was subdued.

"I suppose so."

She came in.. "Barry, I'm sorry.  It was a foolish thing to do.."

"What, nothing about it being wrong?"  I made a cutting gesture with one hand..
it hissed through the air.. I blinked in surprise.  "Apology accepted.  Just
don't do it again." my mind churned.. making connections.

"You don't know why you're here you say... Hmmm... I have something you should
see."

Kate trailed me to the living room.. my computer was still switched on, so I
called up the collected Revenge Fics and sat Kate down in front of them.

"Do you want a cuppa Kate?"

She looked at me strangely..  A few minutes ago she had been pointing a gun at
me.. now I was offering her a cup of tea.. she just couldn't see it.  I should
be showing some reaction..   I frowned.. What _was_  going on with me..   I
wasn't myself.. understatement of the century. 

I occupied myself with mundanity..  once Kate had a steaming cup in front of
her, I sat and watched her.. 

As she read, her face became stonier and stonier.. 

"Once" I commented "is bad luck, twice, coincidence.. three times enemy action,
but _this_ is ridiculous!"

She turned to face me snarling "No-one manipulates _me_ like this!  Someone is
going to _pay_!"

"Revenge?"  I grinned.

"I couldn't put it better myself.  I might as well be on the winning side for
once."

I raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You are the 'good guys'.. You'll win.  Dramatic necessity."  She favoured me
with a vulpine smile.

"I wish I shared your confidence.  Now, make yourself at home, I'm going to go
to sleep.  For a week!"

I wandered off to bed in anticipation of a good night and day's sleep.. I could
call in sick for work..

			+++++

Well, time for another experiment.  I lay back on my bed and tried to recapture
that feeling <feeling?  I have no> feelings?  I sat up again,  shaking my head,
trying to clear it.. this flipping was very confusing.. my long hair was unbound
again, getting in my eyes.  How did you deal with it?  How did _I_ deal with the
way I was thinking.. 

I lay back, imagining that knife switch again.  the same blue haze.. pain.. less
this time, more like a muscle overstrained, followed by exhaustion.

If I had not been lying down, I would have collapsed, I was so drained.   

I shut my eyes and drifted off..

			+++++

I was standing on a high point looking over a cityscape.. the sky was red.. fire
reflecting off black smoke.. I saw movement.. an energy signature.  Targeting
icons appeared.  <Target identified as hostile> .. there was a flash, half a
city block vaporised.. with a growing horror I realised the 'target' had been a
bus of refugees... 

I gasped awake panting, pulse racing like I'd been running for my life, covered
in cold sweat..  From the clock it'd been less than an hour..  The last
nightmare I could remember for a long time had involved my _computer_ going
screwy..  I didn't _get_ nightmares often.. especially ones that vivid.

I dropped off again..

I was fighting for my life against another Demon God..  manoeuvring, painting
the sky with deadly pastels...  I felt pain..   I was grievously damaged but
victorious..   Then I was told I was too expensive to repair.. resources were
being committed to conventional units, and I was being decommissioned and put
into mothballs.. against future need.. I slept...

Another graphic nightmare.. and another and another.. 

Finally one without the crystal clear quality of what I knew were memories.. I
was high over Sydney again..  A beautiful night.  The streetlights traced the
shape of the suburbs, cars moving like regimented fireflies.  An airliner on
approach at Mascot, it's navigation lights blinking and radar pulsing like a
heartbeat...

I lowered my arm, holding the Power Key Staff.

Targeting icons lit up.

<Select Red Thunder : Select 500 kt : Fusing 150m airburst : Ready to fire and
Holding>

I felt power systems come on line for continuous fire

<Fire plan computed and set>

<Fire for effect>

Bright red flowers blossomed over the city...

I woke with a scream.

As I sat gasping in horror, Kate rushed in, pistol in hand.

She looked strange, wearing one of my T shirts and my dressing gown, but then
she hadn't packed for an overnight stay I guess, and it had undoubtedly been a
long day for her too.

"What's wrong?" she snapped

"Oh god.. I dreamed.. I dreamed I was destroying Sydney... it was.. I could do
it.. I would have to.."

"I saw Sydney destroyed too Barry.. and it wasn't a dream..."  her gaze went
distant for a moment and she unconsciously rubbed her leg.. I saw a faint scar
before she flicked the dressing gown closed again, favouring me with a dirty
look.

I focused resolutely on her face.   "But you weren't doing it Katherine, just
watching.  I could do it... god help me."

"It looks like we have some common ground after all Barry."

"Kate, who can I trust with the power to order me to smash cities?  Power
corrupts, absolute power... Ah yes, how did it go... Conquer the galaxy, trample
the lesser races under your feet, unimaginable power, unlimited rice pudding...
"  

She giggled and my train of thought abruptly derailed.  Then her face fell.  She
looked so sad, lost.. 

She spoke in a small voice, her eyes focused on her hands, clenched in front of
her  "They left me."

I put a hand on hers.

"It's not like I gave them much choice.  Look, I'll send you home..."

"No!  no.. if you do that.. I think I'd be.. Something was.. whispering to me..
suggesting that it would be a good idea.  I thought it was myself.  Now I know
it wasn't."  she looked up, grabbing my hand like a lifeline, her voice a
strangled whisper  "I don't want to be controlled like that!  I won't!"

"Another thing we can agree on Kate." and I looked her in the eye.

I noticed a familiar shape in her dressing gown pocket and put on an inquisitive
expression.

"Oh, that." she pulled out the Lightgate generator and tossed it onto the bed
"I don't know how it works, and I'm not going to try using it blind."

"Very wise.  Well, I don't know about you, but I would _really_ like to get some
sleep."  

			+++++

I was still tired.. so very tired and tried to get _some_ sleep.. but another
nightmare, this time with the Knight Sabers and the bucket.. 

I couldn't sleep.  I didn't dare.

As I sat in the dark, struggling to stay awake.. I noticed something strange..
it was full night, and the blind was down, I shouldn't have been able to see
more than bare outlines, but somehow I could see everything in the room.. hear
Kate's gentle snore several rooms away <unit sensory efficiency boosted> then
there was an abrupt mental shock, a twist that I couldn't really describe, and I
wasn't tired... or at least I did not feel any actual need for sleep.  <unit
overall operational efficiency boosted by 50% by elimination of unnecessary
downtime>

A surge of panic.. just as quickly damped.. something was happening to me, it
felt like bits of 'me' were being overlaid or replaced, a true 'virus of the
mind' <unit processing algorithms analysed.  modifications programmed.
Initiating.>

Whispering threads of logic..  skeins of ice weaving themselves into my being,
becoming a part of me.

I blacked out.

			+++++

I awoke.

I felt different, refreshed.  As if someone had opened up the top of my skull
and given it all a good dusting and clean up.. all the little nooks and crannies
scrubbed out..  It wasn't a virus, but a symbiont.  I could feel myself thinking
on a multitude of different levels, if I concentrated, sense my heatbeat, glands
and other physiological functions.. under conscious control if needed.  A quiet
whisper in the background.

I could no longer tell where 'I' ended and the machine began... I was the
machine.  I knew my purpose.

And I could remember.. 

I was the Destroyer.

Great tears started to roll down my cheeks.  So much death.  So much blood on my
hands, and the one responsible was a part of me now, a constant ache of guilt
and grief.  The decision had not been 'mine', the responsibility had not been
'mine', 'I' literally could not disobey a direct order, but the guilt... the
guilt was mine.  At least I could still feel that..

And one day.. one day I would need to be wound up.  One thing at a time.  The
longest journey begins with a single step... and the shortest ends with a single
mis-step.

I recalled what Kate had said.. about something influencing her.. I needed more
information.

And where better to start than the net.  A sea of data.

I noticed an interesting message on the net... that insane A.I. Alpha Centauri
looking for help... something about (?), some being inspiring the animates to
take revenge on their authors... 

I had initially dismissed and forgotten it, obviously mad.  

But now... now it looked intriguing.

<Mission Objective : Survival> <Target : (?) > part of me whispered.

			+++++

The next few weeks were... interesting.  I had never had a houseguest like her
before.. 

Kate must have realised as soon as I had that an unwilling, enormously powerful
slave was not a practical proposition.. especially one used to free will.  It
would be impossible to give orders covering all situations.. she still couldn't
seem to shake the idea though.. 

I flew to the moon and back, to have a look at the Eagle and the footprint,
reminding myself of the immensity of the universe.

I also began making preparations.  If Alpha came through, I wanted to be able to
move quickly.

I practiced being able to switch from one form to another.. it took a few
seconds, and hurt even after practice, but it was only pain and exhaustion, no
physical damage.. and was within acceptable limits.

Adventure is somebody else in deep deep yogurt, far far away.  I think I've just
become that somebody.

			+++++

It was time to go.

"Just so we know where we stand.  You want to wind me up.  Correct?"

"Obviously.  And you need my experience."

I smiled  "I _know_ the value of administrative expertise.  They'll have
_firepower_ coming out of their ears.. I suspect their planning skills will be
somewhat rudimentary."

"Ah.. So you only want me for my mind."

I chuckled "At least you didn't try to seduce me."

"I do have some scruples.  My loyalty is to the company, yes.  But I keep a
little for myself.  Women who try to sleep their way to the top usually find
themselves on the bottom...  So to speak.  Besides, I don't think that would
work.  You may like me, but you don't trust me."

"Fraid so.  I promise nothing."

"I'll take my chances Barry.  Besides, you can't afford to have me running
around loose can you."

"True."

"Are you _sure_ you don't want a wind up?"

"Get real Kate."

"No harm in asking.  Give me a week to set some things up.  Remember the contact
procedures."

"Remembering things is _not_ a problem Kate."

She stepped through the gate.

			+++++

I don't want to kill anyone.. but I remembered a line from that film.. "The
Devil's Own." 

"When you pick up a gun, someone's going to eat a bullet." 

I _am_ the gun, and I cannot put it down.

It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
(Invictus, W.E. Henley)


Continued in the Revenge Wars... 

Barry Cadwgan ( BCADWGAN@FL.NET.AU )
http://www.users.fl.net.au/~bcadwgan/homepage.htm
"The end does not justify the means.  
 The end is the sum of the means,
 as the road travelled determines the destination." 
Valijon Starbringer (Hellflower Trilogy, Eluki bes Shahar)