Opening Shot:  The earth slowly revolves, revealing a shining sun.  On the
earth, we can see a city which looks vaguely like a pentacle.

Narrator:  Behold.  The horrible future which awaits you!  An absolute,
theocratic dictatorship based on the will of an airheaded megalomaniac.  A
world in which only I, an anonymous former hero forced against my will to
the course of energy vampirism, stand against the forces of "light".  Oh,
the angst!  Oh, the --

SHEILA:  GET OUT OF HERE, YOU P***K!

The image freezes.  The caption, Experts of Fanfic Review:  The Text File
appears.

Cut to the theatre.  RITSUKO, HIROE, and MISA are seated in the seats.
SHEILA comes stomping down the aisle, still very angry.

SHEILA:  The NERVE of that guy!

MISA:  Sheila, calm down ...

RITSUKO:  How did he get to this ficton, anyway?

SHEILA:  Does it matter?  Who cares?  <beat>  Where's Ryouko?

HIROE:  Oneesan found out that we'd be reviewing a Project A-Ko fic and
bowed out.

SHEILA:  <stricken> Project A-Ko?

HIROE nods smilingly.

SHEILA:  Ah, mannnnnn ... I *hate* Project A-Ko ...

All stare at the red-haired superhumanly strong senshidottir.

SHEILA:  What?

MISA:  Just sit down, dear.

SHEILA grumblingly sits.

RITSUKO:  Please initiate projection ...

	How was I to know when I first met C-ko that she had been raised by
weird people, that she'd react that badly to Mariko-chan? 

HIROE:  Mariko-chan?  Who's that?  I don't remember anyone named that in any
of the Project A-Ko stories.

RITSUKO:  It's possible that the author is thinking of Mari, the large,
muscular member of Biiko's group of lackeys.

Even A-ko knows
Mariko-chan is cute.

RITSUKO:  No, probably not ...

MISA:  And besides, that wasn't their first meeting.  They met in
kindergarten, and Biiko was always abusing Shiko until Eiko put a stop to
it.

	I stand ready as I have every school day for the last six weeks since
they came back into my life, still in my uniform this morning.  I don't know
if this is the best course of action, in fact I fear it may be one of the
worst, but. . .

SHEILA:  <grudgingly> Nice tension, here ...

	``B-ko, what is it this morning?  I do need to get an education.'' She
is always so angry with me of late.  Not that I can really blame her, what
with the fact that I have been attacking her every morning just about since
she arrived in town.

HIROE:  "Not that I can really blame her, considering the fact that I have
attacked her almost every morning since she arrived in town."

 She's so pretty when her eyes flash like that.  Before I
can reconsider I act, flinging myself into motion as soon as she is close
enough that getting to her before she can move out of the way will not rip my
uniform off.   No sense wasting the things, as they are a bit of a pain to
replace.  She doesn't react fast enough to dodge for once, apparently she
wasn't as ready as she seemed.  Most likely she was waiting for me to shed the
uniform before my attack, as I usually do.  I am inside her guard, one hand
around her back, the other across the back of her head, my fingers twined
about her short red hair, before she starts to clue in.  Instants later I pull
her unresisting head down to mine, press my lips to hers.

SHEILA:  EEEEEEEEEH?

MISA:  Oh my.

 She shifts, like she
almost wants to fight me off, then  starts to respond to the kiss, her lips
spreading against mine.  

SHEILA:  Umm ... there's an extraneous space between "then" and "starts"

With a sudden gasp she tears herself away, making me
quite glad I didn't have a firm grip on her hair, for she pulled away fiercely
enough that she would have ripped it out, or perhaps broken my fingers.  I
really almost wish I had the suit on.  No, make that `It would have been nice
to have thought to design a set of modifications to the suit such that I could
have it half-on' since the fields would have kept my ribs from cracking like
that.  Dieties but that hurts.

HIROE:  "Deities"

RITSUKO:  Also, it's not clear from the paragraph how Biiko's ribs were
injured.

	``B-ko!''  A-ko's voice sounds from just in front of where I have my
face pressed to the asphault,

HIROE:  Asphalt.  <beat>  I think ...

indicating she has dropped to her knees, and is
probably hovering with her hands just off me.

MISA:  I think that should be "just above me".

	``A-ko!  Careful!  I need to be able to breathe when you are done!'' I
almost squeek, as her careful, if inexpert, hands tape my ribs.

SHEILA:  <interested> Shouldn't the school nurse be doing this, instead of
her?

Do I want her
hands to roam just a bit higher?

SHEILA:  Maybe, but I *definitely* do ...

	I knod to Ayumi-sensei as I walk into class, take my seat before going
back to my thoughts of the day before.  How could I have done that to myself?
Even more importantly why had it taken so long for me to straighten it out in
my head?  I know how easy it is to turn lust for something into something
else, but how did I turn jealousy so intense that it left me weak in the
knees, that it made me come up with dozens of evil plots to get her out of the
picture some final way, so that she knows that she is suffering for taking my
friend away from me, into the all-consuming lust of the last few weeks?

MISA:  There's quite a few problems with this paragraph.  Biiko starts out
thinking "the day before" ... obviously, she's talking about kissing Eiko.
But she ends up talking about "the last few weeks".  But she only realized
that she was sexually interested in Eiko the night before yesterday.

RITSUKO:  Also, "turn lust for something into something else" doesn't sound
quite right.  I'd suggest "turn desire for something into another emotion"
instead.

HIROE:  Oneechan, do you think oneesan actually wants you?

Dead silence.

SHEILA:  Let's not talk about that, okay, Hiroe?

	``A-ko chan, would you come for a walk with me after school?  I feel
that I need to talk to you about this morning.   B-ko.''  Not the best note
I've ever written, unless one is going on how much must be infered for it to
make any sense, which isn't a good measure.

RITSUKO:  Hm.  This I think shows why the names should be written Eiko,
Biiko, and Shiko.  It looks better to write "Eiko-chan" -- although I wonder
if Biiko would really be that *forward* this early in the relationship --
than "A-ko-chan" or "A-ko chan".

	``Daitoukuji-san!''  I look up, duck the flying duster as it almost
hits where it was aimed.  Blessed, but she's in a bad mood; generally she just
bouces it off the top of my head.  Calling my name so that I'll look up and
have it hit me in the face is something she reserves for when things really
turn out wrong.  I guess she's still upset about Kei.  How weird, that went
`poof' in this bout of self-examination, too.

HIROE:  Speaking of poof, what does Shiko think of all this?

RITSUKO:  That's right.  It's to be remembered that in "Final" she has a
nightmare about Eiko and Biiko in a relationship.  I think she'd be
*very* upset at the way this is going.  If Biiko and Eiko are in a
relationship, after all, there goes Shiko's unstated desire for Eiko ...

	``Daitoukuji-san!  What is it with you this morning?''  Ayumi-sensei
asks for the first time in several weeks.  I think for a moment about the
proper answer.  Should I be smart, which will likely get me sent to stand in
the hall, and out of having to listen to her drone on about US history, a
subject that I have already covered in adequite depth, thank you very much, or
should I tell her the truth in some form or another.

HIROE:  "Adequate".

	The truth.  Can't hurt too much.  ``I just remembered how cute
Magami-san is, sensei.  Isn't she cuter than Kei-kun?''  I smile at her, glad
that I have cameras in the room to catch A-ko's reaction, for as expected
Ayumi looks like a beached fish, her mouth flopping and no sound coming out as
she points to the hall, finally getting under control enough to emphaticly

HIROE:  "emphatically".

I watch her as she reads it, looks up, presses careful fingers
to my face, steps in close to me, and bends forward.  I close my eyes at the
feel of her lips on mine, press myself against her as firmly as I can before
my ribs start screaming at me, slide my hands over the fabric of her blouse as
her tounge presses against my own.

	*Briiiiing* the moment is shattered by the bell,

SHEILA:  LOUSY F**KING TIMING!

HIROE:  Ummmm ... That "*Briiiiing*" should probably be in a sentence of its
own ...

	``B-ko, what is with you today?  I've never seen you get in this much
trouble before.''

	``I've not been plotting today.  I hope that I've caught what I wanted
all along.  Have I, A-ko?''

	``You've caught me, if that's what you mean.''

SHEILA:  Well.  Well, that was ... rather nice.

MISA:  <cool> Just as long as it's not giving you any ... ideas.

SHEILA:  <evil grin> Oooh, it is ... you in an Akagiyama --

MISA:  That's *not* what I was talking about ... but ...

RITSUKO:  Excuse me, Major, but we're still on the air.  <beat> I rather
enjoyed this, and I hope that the author does expand on it.  In particular,
I think Shiko needs a bigger role; her feelings should be taken into
account.

HIROE:  Yeah!  It's not fun to be the losing third of a love triangle, and
when Shiko's not having fun ... nobody's having fun.

SHEILA and MISA are walking up the aisle and meet RYOUKO at the entrance.
RYOUKO gives them a cold stare.  SHEILA gazes speculatively at the blue
haired battlesuit pilot.

RYOUKO:  What are you looking at, you --

SHEILA:  Naah.  Never work.

RYOUKO:  <blink> What?

MISA stares ceillingward in exasperation as she leads a grinning SHEILA out
the door.

RYOUKO:  Why do I feel as though I've just been made the butt of a joke?

Fade out.

Chris Davies.