Opening Shot:  The earth slowly revolves, revealing a shining sun.  On the
earth, we can see a city which looks vaguely like a pentacle.

Narrator:  Behold!  Da mahvellous woild of da fucha!  Thanks to da 
creation of Cristal Tokyo, which brought about da Thoid Age of Mankoind,
yumanity has entered an era of prospairity.  But behoind da shadow of such
glory-us peace, dere are --

SHEILA:  Excuse me, Fran.  The director of your show called, and you're late
for taping.

Narrator:  Agh!

The image freezes.  The caption, Experts of Fanfic Review:  The Text File
appears.

Cut to the usual theatre, with the usual crew ... and a young woman with
purply black hair, dressed in a tight white dress under a red leather
jacket (MISA VON FOGLER) who is talking quietly with SHEILA.  RYOUKO is
staring at them with scarce-concealed fury.

SHEILA:  Oh, hi!  Welcome to another edition of EFR, where we'll be taking a
look at --

RYOUKO:  <muttered> -- your pervert girlfriend.

MISA:  <cheerful> F**k you very much, Ryouko.

RITSUKO:  Major Fogler, I hope you will remember that there's a *child*
present.

HIROE:  Where?

RITSUKO:  <sigh>

SHEILA:  Anyway, we'll be looking at the second part of Travis Butler's
"Ranma Pride".  With us today ... and hopefully for future episodes ...

MISA: <smiles noncommitally>

SHEILA:  ... is my *friend*, Major Misa von Fogler of the Planetary Defense
Force.  Welcome aboard, Misa.

MISA:  Thank you Sheila.  <to camera> For what it's worth, I'm not a
Senshidottir, although I am apparently related to the royal line somehow
that I've never bothered to check up on.  My older brother's the one who
freaks over lineage and stuff like that ...

RITSUKO:  Well, in any event, it is somewhat traditional for there to be
five members of any such grouping as this, so let's give it a try and see
how it goes.  Major, if you'd like to do the honors?

MISA:  Sure!  FANFIC UNIT ONE ... HASSHIN!

[Author's note: The story so far... ahhh, skip it.]

MISA:  'Scuse me?

Windir: Indeed?

[Um...]

Lyra: You really think people are going to remember everything from the 
last part? You think you're that good?

MISA:  And what about those of us who've just picked up this part, without
having read the first one. <beat>  And who's *she*?  <beat; pained> Sheila,
you're hurting my hand.

SHEILA:  Um.  Sorry.  

There was a knock at the door. A moment later, it opened to reveal a 
figure in a trenchcoat. "Niccolo, from Records." He grinned sardonically. 
"At your service."

Inaba blinked. "That was fast."

SHEILA:  Much too fast.  Off hand, I'd say we're seeing the bad guy, or one
of them.

"You mean they let him get away... and then they blew up... and let him 
team up with them later? Wha -- the entire planet?!?"

RITSUKO:  Unless I'm mistaken, this refers to "Project:  EDEN", the Dirty
Pair theatrical release.

"No, no. It isn't," Niccolo replied; his grin held for a moment, turned 
almost predatory, than vanished. "Trust me."

RITSUKO:  Anyone want to bet a week of babysitting that this fellow stole
his alias from a certain Florentine political scientist?

SHEILA:  No bet.  <beat>  WEEK OF BABYSITTING?

MISA:  Shhh.

Niccolo shrugged. "Well, I guess they must have figured it was easier to 
just wipe out the planet instead of trying to kill off those vizorium 
monsters one by one." He smiled that predatory smile again, this time 
with a bitter edge to it. "It fits their pattern."

RYOUKO:  Wait a minute.  What in God's name was that?!  The sudden creation
of all those vizorium monsters was an *accident* --

MISA:  Well, yeah.  That's the bad guy.  We sort of expect them to lie.

RYOUKO:  <ignores her> And that *bitter* bit.  Almost as though he took this
incident as a personal affront.  <thinks>  Now who all survived that, and
might have reasons to ... CARSON!

Not that this made Kei and Yuri any happier. Bad story cliche No. 
2.5e7+03: the most comfortable hotel room in the world is a jail if 
you're locked in. But I digress... um, where was this going? Anydehoodle, 
Kei and Yuri are currently sitting in their cell, waiting to talk to 
their Fan Defender for the first time.

HIROE:  Oooh ... this was just bad.  Yanked me right out of the metareality
of the story.  And the tense is wrong for the last sentence, too.

"At least." Zen smiled sourly. "As long as we're in this vein, just to 
get it out of the way... You didn't really do it, did you?...  Just 
kidding! JUST KIDDING!"

Kei released the hammerlock. "Just so you know it."

"<Wheeze> I know it, I know it!" Zen felt gingerly around his neck. 
"Trust me!"

RYOUKO:  I confess to only a vague knowledge of the individual in question,
but would it not be more "in-character" for him to say "<wheeze> Zen knows
it, Zen knows it!  Trust Zen!"

"EeeYOUCH!" There was a ripping sound as Frito pulled the duck tape off 
his mouth. "That *hurt*!"

RYOUKO:  That's "duct tape", alias the fifth fundamental force of nature.
<mutters> Must remember to bring a roll next time ...

"Look... *stop it*, OK?" Lyra folded her arms. "We've got a couple of 
people stuck in jail right now, who might be staying there unless we can 
find out that they didn't do it. Let's just get to work, all right?"

RITSUKO:  I take it, then, that Anime Town has no equivalent to "Who Framed
Roger Rabbit"'s famous "dip" method of eliminating animated characters
beyond recall?

"More to the point," Windir added, "who are you, and what are you doing 
here? For that matter, why *are* you here?"

"I," the man said pontifically, "am Dr. Breckenridge."

SHEILA:  But you can call me Myra!

RITSUKO:  Sheila ... you realize that no one is going to get that?

MISA:  I sure didn't.

"And, well..." Breckenridge coughed embarrassedly. "When the young lady 
asks you, and smiles like *that*, it's hard to refuse."

SHEILA:  <smile> Too true, too true.  But I'd suggest that it should be
"When *a* young lady asks you, and smiles like *that*, it's hard to refuse."
<beat> Misa, why are you squeezing my hand?

MISA:  <sigh>

The three sighed, then followed him as he found the correct way out of 
the restaurant.

     *     *     *     *     *     *

Breckenridge looked around as they came up to a restaurant; the sign hung 
over the door read "Ten-Kai". 

SHEILA: <swiftly> Shouldn't that be "another restaur--

RITSUKO:  Sheila!  That's YOUR --

SHEILA:  It's a coincidence!  I have it from the Chief!  He'd come up with
me weeks before he'd even HEARD of "Spirit of Wonder", and he *still* hasn't
*seen* it!

MISA:  Oh, don't be so defensive.  "Heaven sea."  It's a nice name.

RYOUGA:  Gag me.

There is the sudden noise of several feet of duct tape being pulled off a
roll and applied suddenly.

MISA:  Don't mind if I do.

"Huh. Just looks like a big microfiche machine ta me," Frito said 
disdainfully. "What happens if I touch dis thing --"

"No! DON'T!--"

There was a small explosion, filling the room with smoke. When it 
cleared, the room was empty.

HIROE:  Ano?  That's all this time?

RITSUKO:  It was rather short.  A rather well-executed cliffhanger ending,
but ...

Thanks to John and Chris Davies for a pair of fun reviews of Part 1. :)

SHEILA:  HEY!  WHAT ABOUT *US*?

RITSUKO:  Now, Sheila, he did acknowledge our manager, and some might view
this as sufficient --

SHEILA:  I sure don't!

MISA:  Well, minna, this has been a lot of fun.  Wouldn't you agree, Ryouko?

RYOUKO:  MMMPH!

HIROE:  Oh, oneesan ... Misa-san, I think you and oneechan should get going
... we'll have to let her go sooner or later, and I don't think you two will
want to be around when that happens ...

MISA:  Probably not.

RITSUKO:  As the lone voice of reason, I'd like to say that we are
definitely looking forward to the next chapter in this story ...

And on that note, we fade out.

Chris Davies.