Sarah: of for shame... its been another rough weekend of revelrie
Eric: did you go on a trip somewhere or something cuz i remember no
revelrie this weekend.
Sarah: boredom induces hallucinations.
Eric: ...
Sarah: anyways...
Eric: anyways...
Sarah: oh look lets review the continuation of pursuit of happiness...
'kay?
Eric: well lets pick up around the intermission so we dont have to worry
about going back over past stuff.
Sarah: it all seems pretty straightforward to me right now...
RPM - acct 3/5 wrote:
*
//...and so ended the spectacular match between Ryouga Hibiki and
Mikado Sanzenin.//
Eric: perhaps we missed to much.
Sarah: Ryouga was so happy on winning he planted a large kiss on
Mikado's head.
"And yet another impressive match for Ryouga Hibiki, eh?"
"SHUT UP RANMA!"
Once again, martial artists of every kind were gathered at King's
Cafe. Around one table was, once more, Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, Ryouga,
and Natsumi. New to the table today was Akari Unryuu. Missing was
Nabiki and Kurumi Tendo
Eric: ooohhh, Akari attends, maybe we'll find out what Ryo has been up
to recently.
Sarah: and where's Kurumi?
Eric: off gallavanting around with Toma i'm sure.
"Hey, where's Kurumi?" asked Akane.
"She is with that little womanizer at the moment," said Natsumi icily.
Eric: now is that anyway to talk about your future brother in law?
"Who, Prince Toma?" asked Ukyou.
Natsumi nodded solemnly. "I swear, if he hurts her in any way I shall
CASTRATE THE BRAT WITH MY STAFF!"
Eric: *crossing legs* its not funny to say stuff like that.
Sarah: with a staff? *grins evilly* hummm... now that will hurt...
think of the splinters. I knew i liked those Tendo sisters for a reason!
This outburst set off a brief, uncomfortable wave of silence in the
Eric: ...
Sarah: ...
Dim: ...
cafe, except for Ryouga, who was brutally reminding Ranma that it was
-Tatewaki Kuno- that gave him such a hard time.
"Prince Toma is a nice boy, really," said Akane. "Don't worry."
"Says the woman he KIDNAPPED," replied Natsumi. "They were supposed
to be here five minutes ago. I'll KILL him!"
Eric: keeping tabs eh?
Sarah: well it is her ONLY sister.
Ranma, meanwhile, reminded Ryouga of the lack of skill of his previous
opponents, thus proving that Ranma was the superior martial artist.
Ryouga replied with a punch to the jaw. Ranma, unhappy with Ryouga's
reply, slammed Ryouga's head into the table.
Sarah: oh the violence... no wonder our children are being
desensitized... excuse me sir how do you feel on contributing
degradation of our society?
Eric: what? its all in good clean fun... see.. *smacks Sarah on the
head*
"Hey Akane, you don't look so hot," said Ukyou. "You okay?"
Eric: well... she is an uncute sexless tomboy.
Sarah: *dazed and seeing stars*
Akane, whose gi was shredded badly, was covered in many places by
Eric: now there's theres a site for sore eyes.
Sarah: pervert!
bandages. She also had a black eye and was holding an ice pack to her
jaw.
Eric: I'm surprised Ranma is too busy argueing with Ryouga, you think he
might be a little more protective of Akane or something.
Sarah: especially with her being so hurt, btw whats with shredded gi,
she might think its more appropriate to change.
"I'll live," she said sadly.
Sarah: but only in emberassment after appearing in public half nude,
with a fiancee whose more concerned with his own ego then he is about
his fiancee... *flares green* lil' jerk.
"Did you..."
Sarah: pound on Ranma some?
"I lost."
"To who?" wondered Ukyou.
"Tanya Noori."
Eric: woo hoo go Tanya!
Ukyou frowned. "Gaijin? Crossdresser? Tosses soot bombs?"
Sarah: Japanese? Crossdresser? Tosses flour bombs?
Akane nodded. "That's the one."
"How'd it happen? What went wrong?"
Sarah: oooo the arrogance... dont you think so Eric?
Eric: mmmmmmm... Ukyou.
A frown formed on Akane's face. She put one elbow on the table and
rested her head on her palm. "Well, a number of things, really. She
was faster than me, which was one of the big reasons. She really got
Sarah: well Akane relies on strength more so then before.
a lot of good hits in with her steel broom before I got rid of it.
Mostly, though, she kept on blinding me with those soot bombs."
Eric: personally I'd love to hear what she did with that hammer and
chisel combo.
Sarah: Akari is awfully quiet.
"Sorry to hear ya got eliminated, sugar."
Eric: these thigns happen.
"How about you guys?" asked Akane. "Who'd you fight? How'd it go?"
"Took down Shinohara High's champion Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial
Artist," said Ukyou. "Kaede the Red Star or something like that.
Kinda like Kodachi, without the dirty tricks."
"I defeated Toma's manservant, Won Ton," said Natsumi. "It was... a
most unusual match."
"Why?" asked Akane.
"He behaved as a dog would and kept on biting my staff." Natsumi
lifted her staff and showed them the multiple bite marks.
"So how'd ya beat him?" asked Ukyou.
"I pretended to throw my staff into the canal and yelled, 'FETCH!'."
"That's it?" asked Akane.
"That's it," said Natsumi.
At this point, Ryouga was proudly pointing out that he never, ever
resorted to his female side to gain victory while Ranma had frequently
'gone girly'. Ranma retorted by reminding Ryouga of their lifetime
record vs. each other. Ryouga protested, citing rampant cheating on
Ranma's part. Ranma, in turn, demanded to know EXACTLY how he
cheated.
"Hello ladies, sorry I'm late," said Nabiki, taking a seat. She
promptly opened her laptop and plugged a phone line into the wall
outlet. "Business had me preoccupied."
"Have you seen my sister anywhere?" asked Natsumi.
"As a matter of fact, yes," replied Nabiki.
"Where?"
"She paid me not to tell you."
Sarah: oyh, well now i wonder what they could be up to.
Eric: Kurumi is soooo cute.
"WHAT?"
"Don't worry, they're fine," said Nabiki. "Trust me."
Sarah: i sooner trust a rattle snake.
*
"... whose beauty pales in comparason to your smile."
"Oh Prince Toma!" *giggle*
Sarah: hummm.. you know.... it might be wise to provide just a tad more
detail on this little snippet instead of letting us wonder just what
two 13 year olds are up to.
Eric: *covering his eyes* I cant bear to watch!
*
"The matchups for the next round come up yet?" asked Ukyou.
"Let's see." Nabiki clicked several times, the screen flickering
rapidly as she hopped across the site.
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"Again?"
"Hm?" said Akane.
"The schedules have been late every round," said Nabiki. "It's just a
bit of an inconvenience to me, considering my current interest. It's
really starting to irritate me."
Eric: are we sure you're not just pmsing..
Sarah: *slamming a chair down on Eric's head* there that should do the
trick.
*
[Ryouga Hibiki vs. ]
Eric: *hopefully* the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?
Sarah: Mr Sinister?
Eric: The Walking Dude?
Sarah: Jesse Custer?
Eric: Timothy Hunter?
Sarah: Ayla Ranzz?
"Let's see.... ah."
Sarah: ahhhhla Ranzz?
[Ryouga Hibiki vs. Kodachi Kuno.}
Eric: ouch... now theres an interesting fight.
"Who else... hrm..."
[Ranma Saotome vs. ]
"Hrm... who... who... OH! Now THIS looks fun!"
Sarah: *ponders* who could it be.. *flips through past tapes and issues*
Happosai? Tarou? who? Oh the tension is killing me!
*
------------------ Round 2 ----------------
Eric: but it was just Round 4 a second ago.
Sarah: and Akari didnt say a damn thing.
*
Ryouga frowned.
Sarah: and doesnt he just look adorable?!
"Ohohohoho! Ryouga darling, how interesting that we meet in combat!"
Sarah: interesting for you perhaps...
Eric: I always thought Kodachi might be into using that ribbon as a
whip.
Ugh. This wasn't going to be fun. First of all, he didn't like
hitting girls. Second, Kodachi really, _really_ spooked him.
Third... that was a really... really tight outfit she was wearing.
Left little to the imagination.
"Don't worry darling," purred Kodachi lustily, "there's pleasure in
pain too." She cracked her ribbon like a whip, her eyes never leaving
Ryouga's body. "Just leave it to me."
Eric: boy does she appear as a *ahem* s-l-u....
Sarah: we get the picture and yes she seems to be.
Oh boy.
Eric: thats to put it lightly.
*
Ranma sighed, waiting for his opponent to arrive. He'd seen the
lineup for this round, saw the name, but wasn't able to get a profile
on the person.
All he knew was the man's name. Kujo Masakari.
Eric and Sarah: ?
Dim: I have a feeling this will be depressing...
Sarah: for who?
Dim: Depressing for both.
A passing cloud seemed to cast a shadow on the battlefield that was
Furinkan's baseball field. After Ranma turned around, he realized it
wasn't a cloud. It was Kujo Masakari.
He was big. Very big. Obscenely big. He was taller than the Dojo
Destroyer and far more muscular. Members of the audience could easily
imagine the behemoth starring in a film called 'Kujo The Barbarian'.
The titanic sword and leather loincloth certainly helped in that
image.
Eric: who is this guy?
Sarah: is this the guy who appared on the Critic last night and ran
around telling people he would eat their souls?
Ranma blinked.
"Oh boy."
Eric: ahh ranma and Ryouga have such a large vocabulary.
//IN THE RED SHIRT, FROM THE SAOTOME SCHOOL OF ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL
ARTS, RANMA SAOTOME!//
The giant listened, committing the memory to name. If anyone were to
ask, he'd say he was listening so he'd know what name to scribe on his
Book of Maimed Victims.
Sarah: is this book also called the necronomican and are you often
possessed by hearing voices?
//IN THE LEATHER LOINCLOTH, JUST ENTERING THE FIELD, KUJO MASAKARI!//
The large barbarian gave a nasty grin. Ranma wasn't sure, but he
Eric: did the barbarian wave? Now that would be cute
Sarah: i dont think he's supposed to act cute.
thought he saw some red splotches in those needle-like teeth.
Sarah: he should use tartar control buddy...
Eric: with whitening.
//CHAMPION OF THE DEATHBRINGER SCHOOL OF ARTISTIC MAIMING! FOUR TIME
WINNER OF THE HIMMLER AWARD FOR CREATIVE BRUTALITY!//
Sarah: oh this is... artistic you say? And where might one... (not me)
find displays?
Kujo laughed. Ranma thought the ground was shaking.
Eric: this will be amazing... maybe Ranma will end up tied in a knot.
Sarah: if he's in round four, who were his past vict-- err opponents.
Eric: see those red splotches?
Sarah: oooooo *poink*
//AND EATER OF LIU FANG!//
Eric: Eater of Liu Fang?
Sarah: Eater of Liu Fang?
Ranma stared at the announcer. "Eater of Liu Fang?!?!"
Kujo roared. The crowd went silent.
Sarah: are you sure this guy didnt do a stint as a saint bernard once?
"Me Kujo Masakari! I eat Liu Fang, Master of the Shaolin, in combat to
death! I wrestle alligators for fun, torture children for giggles, and
Sarah: well we got the giggles down...what about the sh*ts.
Eric: saaaaarah.
burn cities for relaxation! I use redwoods for toothpicks, lightning
for a nail file, and the mountains for a back scratcher! Where I walk,
the grass withers, and my breath makes chlorine look like oxygen!
Lions fawn at my feet like housecats, and wolves whimper and run when
they see me! My piss cuts through solid steel!"
Sarah: thats some piss.
The audience collectively 'eww'ed.
Eric: we're with you on this one. at least he didnt go into the
other.... excrement.
"More than I needed to know," muttered Ranma.
"I can't look in a mirror for fear of scaring myself! The devil
shudders at the thought of my crimes, and the Spanish inquisition
Eric: Curious question here but did you ever read Season Of Mists in the
Sandman comics? Some guy with a list nearly of crimes about this long
chained to a rock the devil tells him who cares? no one cares in a few
years no one will even remember who you are.
Sarah: the crappy comment of the day.
would
turn green and run after five seconds of my sport! The screams of the
dying are my lullaby, and thunder is a pale imitation of my laughter!
Eric: blah blah...
Sarah: just sucker punch him already.... betcha he has a glass jaw.
I will have the prize this day, and dance in your skin on your FLAYED,
BLEEDING CORPSE!"
Eric: what no sucker punch?
At the moment, Ranma was thinking of several things.
Sarah: all of them would be spelled with an *
Feeling, actually.
Feeling all the bruises from the match against the Dojo Destroyer, the
needlepoint burns from Kirin, the good shot to the ribs that Kuno gave
him...
Sarah: that rough night with Akane and her mallet... mm hmm..
Ranma shook his head and grumbled to himself. "One easy match, all I
ask for is one easy match."
Eric: buts its sooo funny to watch you get abused.
Sarah: you have an odd definition of fun.
Meanwhile, up in the stands...
"Mmm, looks like a tough one," said Hiroshi. "How many minutes, do
you think?"
Sarah: I give him five.
Daisuke hmmed for a moment, thinking things over. "I'd say...
fifteen. Any thoughts on how Ranma's gonna come through on this?"
Eric: tied up like a pretzel?
It was Hiroshi's turn to hmm a bit. "Wella... he's good, but he's
obviously getting worn by the schedule. I'd say three cuts, two
bites, a dozen bruises, and maybe, _maybe_ a broken nose."
Eric: oh thats light.
"Wouldn't be as bad if Ranma was coming in fresh on this one," said
Daisuke.
"Of course, of course."
Sarah: i wonders if they have won lots... they seem to be getting pretty
observant on this stuff. Maybe Nabiki should hire them.
*
Meanwhile, in the Furinkan High soccer field...
There was a Tendo Fan Club in the stands, and it wasn't for Akane.
Sarah: is this the same club though or a new one.
Natsumi Tendo, by virtue of her flashy style, natural grace, sharp
beauty, and her habit of not wearing a bra (causing some to nickname
Eric: well that would explain the fan club!
Sarah: that hussy!
her 'the bra-less wonder') had inspired a cult following that had
grown as the tournament progressed.
Eric: stupidly enough i am certainly hoping for her, though Kurumi lost
early on.
Unused to fanfare and admiration by a large audience, Natsumi was
flattered, very much so.
Sarah: they're called sports bras.
The headband looked familiar.
So did the grim demeanor.
Natsumi asked, "are you, by any chance, a Hibiki?"
"Well... no, I'm not." Ryuu Kumon tugged his bandanna idly and
Eric and Sarah: ?
wondered why on earth people kept on asking him that question.
Sarah: who is this guy?
He peered at Natsumi's weapon of choice curiously.
"Excuse me," he asked, "is that... a rugbeater?"
Eric: I smell love!
*
A field in Nerima's Tai Park served as the battleground for Tanya
Noori's next match.
Tanya's next opponent didn't look particularly menacing. Clad in an
ordinary t-shirt, denim slacks, suspenders, with a bandanna covering
his head.
<Don't look so tough> she said in English.
The boy smiled. <I'm more than I appear to be.>
So, she thought, the boy speaks English. <Izzat sow?>
Eric: sow? a female pig?
<Mm-hm. In fact...> Suddenly, he pulled out a large grey cape,
covering himself. As quickly as it appeared, it vanished.
Sarah: who in gods name is this?
Tanya found herself staring at... herself.
<I'd say I wos as good as yew, aye?> said her copy, perfectly
immitating Tanya's voice.
Eric: okay this is annoying.
Tanya stared, bug-eyed. <Wot th'bloody hell are yew?>
Sarah: did she step in that teleporter AGAIN?
Eric: and this time with a fly..
Tanya's immitation grinned eerily. <Yew c'n call me Ken... Copycat
Ken.>
Sarah: who?!
Eric: Ken?
*
It was a most generous contribution from the Kuno clan that they
allowed the use of the Kuno estate for the King of Nerima tournament,
a 'generous gift to the martial arts community' said Kuno.
The fee that the tournament organizers were paying the Kuno estate
certainly was a payment for that gift.
In the majestic inner courtyard of the Kuno estate, watched by a fair
sized crowd, Ukyou awaited her opponent. She was a little nervous,
but determined to prevail.
Sarah: i wonder who her opponent is...
Eric: mmmm Ukyou.
//IN THE BLUE SHIRT AND BLACK TIGHTS, UKYOU KUONJI FROM THE KUONJI
SCHOOL OF OKONOMIYAKI MARTIAL ARTS!//
Eric: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm UKYOU!
She was here early. Her parents had taught her about the importance
of being early and ready.
Sarah: a good thing.
//AND JUST ENTERING THE GROUNDS, FROM THE UNORTHODOX WEAPONRY SCHOOL
OF MARTIAL ARTS, RYO MUHOSHIN!//
Eric: *SCREAMS* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He walked smoothly, almost gliding into the courtyard, with a small
grin on his face and his umbrella twirling idly.
Eric: No! I cant bear to watch! NO NO NO NO...
He believed in making an -entrance-.
Eric: he believed he WAS making an -entrance-
Sarah: oh this is going to be good.
Eric: shut up shut up shut up! *begins to bite his nails*
"Hello, Kuonji."
Eric: oh this is not good!
Sarah: this is going to be fun!
"Hello, Muhoshin."
Eric: not fun... not fun...
He peered at her, rubbing his chin in thought.
"What're you looking at?"
Sarah: probably the same thing Eric is looking at... your leggings...
Ryo shrugged, then tightened the black leather gloves on his hands.
"Nothing. Just wondering if you'll be over or under a minute. I have
a record to keep, after all."
Eric: grrrrrr
//WINNER DETERMINED BY SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT! FIGHT!//
Eric: Nooooooooo! dont you dare cut... dont cut... I wont allow it...
Sarah: tee hee this is fun.... lets watch Eric Squirm
*
-slash-
Eric: this better not be the Ukyou fight.
"YOW!"
-slash-slash-slash-slash- "I KILL YOU MAN! CRUSH YOUR BONES AND USE
YOUR ENTRAILS FOR LOINCLOTH!" -slash-slash-slash-
Sarah: oohhh cutie.
"HYAH!" *CRACK*
"NGAH! GOOD HIT! HAHA! I LIKE!"
Sarah: and a MASOCHIST! MASOCHIST!!!! Did i get it right this time?
"Aw man!"
"Wow, this guy's pretty darn savage," said Hiroshi.
Eric: yes but it doesnt seem like he's hitting Ranma.
"Yeah, pretty darn tough," said Daisuke. "Pretty mean with the
sword."
Eric: isnt there a rule against death in these tourneys?
"HYAH!" -thwap- *CLANG*
"Well, there goes Kujo's sword," said Hiroshi.
Sarah: woof!
Daisuke nodded. "Wonder how he fights witho-"
*CHOMP*
Sarah: ouch. savage.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWCH!!!"
The audience as a whole winced.
Eric: and where did he get bitten.
Sarah: i'm guessing for a double knockout.
"Oooooh, that's gotta hurt," said Daisuke.
Hiroshi nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely."
Eric: i agree.
*
Ukyou and Ryo swung spatula against umbrella, striking steel against
steel. She wielded the giant spatula with surprising speed, fending
off Ryo's numerous slashes. Ryo, on the other hand, dodged all of
Ukyou's swipes entirely, weaving in and out between slashes in an
attempt to break her defense.
Eric: *closes his eyes* tell me when its over.
As Ukyou retreated a step, dodging a swipe to her face, there was an
audible -click-.
Sarah: aww the pretty little face.
Both fighters blinked, then jumped away as a dozen bamboo spears shot
out from the surrounding rooftops.
Sarah: ?
Ukyou looked bewildered.
Ryo looked irritated.
The audience gasped.
Within the audience, Kuno whapped Sasuke in the head.
"Fool!" yelled Kuno, "You forgot to deactivate the traps!"
Sarah: okay Eric, its over now.
"Sorry master!"
"Waitaminute! This isn't fair!" yelled Ukyou, right before she
narrowly dodged another slash from Ryo's umbrella. "HEY! What are
you doing?!"
Eric: *looking up* GAH... spears... umbrellas... all against my poor
Ukyou... *faints*
Ryo grinned wickedly. "Trying to win."
Sarah: have i mentioned that i really like him?
*
"FIST OF THE WHITE SWAN!"
Sarah: Mousse?
*CRACK*
Tanya few back, head first, striking the ground hard.
Sarah: i take it, its flew...
Eric: *regaining conciousness* is it over yet?
Sarah: for now.
Bloody hell, she thought dazed, I just got struck with a potty!
A POTTY!
She was snapped out of her daze when a stream of spear-ended chains
flew at her head.
Eric: mousse? Oh duh... i totally forgot its that Copycat Ken.. DUH..
Sarah: oh yeah... *poink*
<YEOW!!!>
She sprung back to her feet, ignoring the pain, and wondered what her
enemy would become next. She'd been thrown off guard and was
tenative, not knowing what to expect next from him. His version of
Kinii of the Muscle Sword Clan was nearly devastating, and his
Happosai really, _really_ made her MAD.
Eric: *snap* missed that.
At the moment, his Mousse was making her panic. endless chains and
blades were something she did NOT like.
Eric: is she familiar with Mousse?
<BACK OFF, YA BLOODY FREAK!> Tanya reached into her jacket and sent
several soot bombs flying into 'Mousse'. She grinned, seeing the
bombs find their mark, and leapt high, intending to dive into the soot
cloud from directly above with steel-wire broom spinning.
Sarah: been there done that.
She jumped, reached the apex of her jump, prepared to bring her broom
down in several rapid radial strikes....
*BOING* <AAAW!>
... and bounced off of something massive.
She landed awkwardly a few feet away and stared at some... some
-thing- that was emerging from the clouds. Small unidentifiable
objects were swirling in and out of the sooty depths in an almost
insect-like manner. A sudden gust of wind cleared the soot cloud,
revealing the massive form of the Dojo Destroyer.
Eric: unfair! goooooo Tanya!
Sarah: we all have our favorites.
<Aw bloody h->
*WHAM*
Eric: *closes his eyes again*
*
Kodachi kept her distance, lashing out with her ribbon and a few
occasional pin strikes. Ryouga deflected the pins with his umbrella
and retaliated with a few bandanna projectiles of his own.
Sarah: of course Ryouga is going to hold back... sexism... tsk.
And then she changed her tactics.
Without warning, she charged at him, ribbon lashing at him furiously.
The ribbon left its mark on his face, arms, and chest. He fell back,
snapping open his umbrella for cover.
Eric: mm hmm... whip marks...
Sarah: perverse...
Kodachi took advantage of his defensive stance and flipped over him,
glomping herself to his back in a -tight- embrace.
Eric: there are worse things in the world...
Sarah: demented.
Dim: Depressing.
It was proven to Ryouga at that moment beyond a doubt that Kodachi's
leotard was made of _very_ thin material. That, and her bosom was
indeed impressive.
Eric: uh huh.... well.... ummm... *blushes bright red*
Sarah: *smirks* just like Ukyou's leggings?
Eric: *faints*
"H-hey!"
"Mmmm, Ryouga darling, you're so tense," she purred into his ear,
running her hands along his chest. "Let me loosen you up."
Sarah: wow s-l-u-
Dim: depressing!
And then she wrapped her ribbon around his throat.
Eric: This is not fun......
Sarah: dementedly perverse.
*
Natsumi advanced on Ryuu with lighting fast swipes of her rugbeater
staff, speedy enough to send dust and leaves flying about and
constantly in the air.
Eric: swish!
Ryuu was nimble enough to dodge her strikes, and puzzled her with his
lack of offense thus far.
Sarah: i smell love!
Eric: dont be so sure...
It was mildly offending the Tendo girl.
Eric: he cant hit a girl can he?
"Why" -slash- "are" -slash-slash- "you" -slash-slash-slash- "holding
back for?!"
"Holding back?" asked Ryuu, taking a defensive jump back. "I wasn't
holding back. I was finding all your weaknesses."
Eric: oh...why is it that only Ranma and ryouga have problems with
women..
Sarah: yah, Ryo I can understand, but some of the otheres.
Natsumi barely had time to dodge when Ryuu suddenly barreled forward,
feet first, surrounded by flaming spirals of ki, yelling "RYUZANSHO!"
Eric: this guy is who?
sarah: maybe theres a little section at the end again.
Landing some feet away, Natsumi turned around to see a giant crater
where Ryuu had landed, and him standing in the middle of it. He
pulled his arms back, then swept them both forward, yelling,
"RYUUKUSAI!" Two ki blasts, shaped like blades, flew towards her.
Eric and Sarah: Sonic BOOM!
Natsumi swung her staff with a cry of "SHINKUUZAN!" and a swirling
tornado whipped out from the rugbeater, colliding with Ryuu's attack.
Unfortunately, the ki blasts cut right through it.
Eric: damn there goes the braless wonder.
Sarah: coincidentally... i think a better nickname might be in order.
*
The only benefit of having Kodachi strangle him was that it kept his
mind off of her breasts pressing into his back and hips grinding
against his rear.
Sarah: pervert..
Eric: I'm sensing a disturbing lack of UKYOU!!!!
Sarah: its probably bad...
Dim: Yeah... real depressing you know?
"G-get... off..." croaked Ryouga.
Eric: please... no comments on how much he seems to be liking it.
"That's what I'm trying to do, darling," said Kodachi.
Eric, Sarah and Dim: ewwwwwwww
"Gaaah!" Panic finally sent Ryouga an idea. He flipped in the air,
Kodachi still firmly attached to him, and slammed back-first into the
ground. He felt the ribbon loosen and stumbled to his feet.
Planted firmly in the ground, knocked out, was Kodachi. And she
stayed down.
Sarah: growing roots.
Ryouga breathed a sigh of relief.
*
The match between Tanya and Copycat Ken had suddenly and dramatically
turned around in momentum.
It began when Ken took the form of a certain bandanna-clad boy.
Sarah: woopsie.
<YOU!>
"Nani?"
<KIIIIIIIIIIIILL!!!>
Eric: you i kill!
And then it seemed Noori became unstoppable, with a bold, fearless
barrage of attacks right in Ryouga/Ken's face at a speed his form
couldn't keep up with.
Steel wire raked across flesh, soot bombs were slammed into his face
at point blank range, and to add to the uter brutality of it all, she
slammed a soot scraper in his crotch.
Sarah: oh the senseless violence!
Multiple times.
<KILL YOU, BLOODY SONOFABITCH!>
Ryouga/Ken staggered helplessly away, then fell to the ground as his
mysterious cloak enveloped him entirely.
<GET UP, YA BLOODY GIT!>
She reached down, pulled the cloak away, and froze.
It was Konatsu.
Eric and Sarah: ?
Bloody, brutalized, beaten Konatsu.
The Kunoichi looked up at Tanya with pleading eyes. "Noori-sama...
please don't..."
<K... Konatsu?>
Tanya reached down tenatively.
And then Konatsu suddenly lashed out with a lightning quick and
devastating kick to Tanya's skull.
Eric: cheap
The last thing Tanya saw, before fading into unconsciousness was
Konatsu's mocking, laughing face.
Sarah: thats not going to be good for Konatsu.
*
Meanwhile, back at the Ranma vs. Kujo match...
-CHOMP-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
Daisuke whistled. "Man, never saw anyone get Ranma this flustered."
"No kidding," said Hiroshi. "I've never even heard of him BITING an
opponent until now. Guess Kujo really got him mad."
Sarah: its the rabies... all saint bernards named kujo have it.
"PUNY BOY! LET GO OF MY ANKLE!"
*
Eric: *closes his eyes*
Sarah: whee back to Ukyou!
Ukyou was breathing heavily, worn down by the very frantic nature of
the match. Across the battlefield, spears and arrows were planted in
the ground, trap doors were open, and Kodachi's pet alligator was
finally making its way back into the outside pond where it belonged.
Sarah: well at least she lasted this long...
Somehow, Ryo didn't seem terribly fazed by the onslaught of traps.
Instead, he kept on being the aggressor, forcing Ukyou to back away
all the time. He met her spatula attacks stroke for stroke, batted
away the flower bombs, and used his umbrella like a shield when she
flung her spatula shuriken at him.
It was feeling to her like a game of cat and mouse, and she wasn't the
cat. This smelled of a setup.
Sarah: forwarned is forearmed!
Ryo charged again, this time swiveling the umbrella in his hand.
Ukyou lashed out, but found her spatula caught by the hook end of
Ryo's umbrella. With a twist of his arm and a kick to her arm, she
lost her spatula. It went spinning in the air briefly, then was
caught in Ryo's left hand.
Sarah: pain... just surrender... spare Eric here...
Eric: *still covering his eyes* humm? *looks* oh no..
He held Ukyou's weapon, smiling. His grip on the giant spatula
shifted slightly, shattering it into several pieces.
Eric: the spatula!!!!
Ukyou turned pale. "My spatula!"
Ryo quietly laughed. The Kuonji girl relied far too much on her giant
spatula. Without it he doubted she was going to be any trouble. Just
might get the first submission of the match.
Sarah: do it... it'll hurt less.
Eric: NOOOOooooooooo
"You're weaponless. Surrender?"
Definitely beaten, he thought.
She answered with a sudden and unexpected boot to the head.
Eric: goo Ukyou.... woo wooo!
Sarah: gooo Ryo...
A moment later, Ukyou was pleasant surprised as Ryo stumbled back a
few steps, almost falling. There was a barely audible click.
Eric: oh no i cant bare to watch this..
And then the giant pineapple statue fell on him.
Eric and Sarah: *blink*
Dim: *at a loss for words blinks*
A few seconds passed. Ukyou blinked.
An unusual way to win, but she wouldn't mind.
Eric, Sarah and Dim: ...
//THE WINNER, BY KNOCKOUT, UK-//
Eric: oh oh... cut off.
The giant pineapple statue shattered violently, cutting off the
announcer. Chunks of concrete flew everywhere, stinging Ukyou and
causing everyone to look away, else their eyes get struck by shrapnel.
Before Ukyou looked up again, something seized her by the throat,
lifted her into the air, and slammed her into the ground face first.
Eric: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!!!!!!
She yelled in pain, twitching slightly, then felt a knee slam into her
back. Ukyou tried to get up but her arms were quickly grabbed, pulled
back, and tied by something.
Eric: STOP THAT!!!!!!
Sarah: oh boy he's ticked.
In her ear, Ryo asked quietly, "surrender?"
"Go to hell!"
He rammed his knee into her back again.
Eric: CRUEL!!!!
"Surrender?" he asked once more.
"Never!"
"Your nails," he said.
"Er, what?"
"Your nails," he repeated, gently caressing her fingertips, "they're
very strong."
Sarah: uhh cant you just knock her out?
"What are you supposed to be now, Martial Arts Manicurist?" she
replied angrily.
"Well, no. Bakusai-ten-satsu."
"Huh?"
A jolt of pain hit Ukyou, as she felt an explosion hit her left pinky
finger. It was stinging and shuddering and she could feel the blood
flowing down her arm. She tried not to scream. She wasn't sure if
she did.
Sarah: hello?!? you can stop now..
Eric: this isnt funny!
"Now," said Ryo, again talking close to her ear, "that was just a
fingernail." She felt him move slightly, then heard the telltale
-click- of a mechanical device. A moment later, there was a long,
narrow needle, attached to the tip of Ryo's umbrella, in front of her
eyes.
"See this?" asked Ryo. "I use this to make your bones explode.
Surrender?"
Eric: grrrr..
Sarah: grrrr... *flares green*
Dim: oh boy depressing
Damn him, she thought. Sadistic bastard.
"Oh, forget I asked," said Ryo suddenly. "I'll do it anyway."
Ukyou twitched, both in pain and fear. "N... no! NO!"
Eric: .... this is not nice.
She felt sharp metal graze against her fingers and fought the urge to
scream again.
Sarah: *flares brighter*
"First we start with the fingers. Won't be able to cook your
fab-u-lous okonomiyaki anymore, eh? And then we start on the teeth.
Oh, you'll rea-"
"RYO! NO!"
Ukyou recognized that voice. Akari. Yelling from the stands.
"DON'T DO IT RYO! PLEASE!"
The metal ever-so-slightly pierced her finger.
"RYO! STOP IT!"
Ryo snarled. "Damn that bitch," he hissed quietly.
Sarah: Akari makes her appearance... oh boy..this is sad...
"PLEASE!"
"Damn it all," spat Ryo. "I hate her."
Sarah: *sigh*
Ukyou felt something strike against the back of her skull.
Someone screamed.
The world went black.
*
Sarah: no this is definitely not good.
------------ Wrapup -----------
"Hrmm." Ranma peered to the left, then the right, and to the left
again. He pounded fist on palm and nodded sagely. "Seperated at
birth, definitely."
"SHUT UP, RANMA!" echoed Ryouga and Ryuu.
Eric: who is this Ryuu? and why did he beat Natsumi?
Akane applied a swift and firm elbow to Ranma's side.
Ranma held his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Hey, just joking!"
This seemed to pacify the bandanna-clad duo, as they both grumbled,
giving him one last evil glare before they turned their attention
elsewhere. Ryouga looked idly at the television screens while Ryuu
chatted with Natsumi most enthusiastically about martial arts.
Eric: humph...
Sarah: at least there was some respect.
Eric: humph.
Meanwhile, Kurumi was looking glum since her Prince Toma was away on
some personal matters he had to attend to. She was glaring daggers at
Ryuu, and irritated that Natsumi wasn't paying much attention to her.
Eric: children.
"Heard ya got eliminated today," Ranma said to Ukyou. "You okay?"
Sarah: Ryouga should be somewhat upset.
Ryuu complimented Natsumi on her speed and sharpness of form. Natsumi
complimented Ryuu on his impressive use of ki. Kurumi blew Ryuu a
raspberry, but was easily ignored.
Eric: jealousy.. is sooo cute.
"Yeah, Ranchan, I'm fine," said Ukyou, waving her hand casually in
dismissal. Unfortunately, that only drew attention to the bloodied
bandage that was wrapped around her pinky finger. "Just a little
rattled, and I still got a headache."
Sarah: humph... stupid Ryo... must pay...mean to Ukyou and AKARI!
Ryuu took Natsumi's hand and brushed a bandage that was put across her
hand. He asked if she wasn't hurt too badly. Natsumi blushed
slightly and said she was quite fine, thank you.
Eric and Sarah: awww...
Kurumi huffed.
Sarah: and she puffed..
Eric: and she blew the house down.
"What happened to you, Ranchan?" asked Ukyou. "You look like you had
it worse than me."
Ryouga grinned. "Yeah, tell us about your match, Ranma. Especially
that all-powerful Anything Goes Ankle-Biter Technique?"
Eric: humph some nice guy you are Ranma.
"SHUT UP, RYOUGA!"
"HAHAHAHA!"
"Ranchan, what's he talking about?" asked Ukyou.
"She's gonna find out sooner or later, Ranma," said Ryouga smugly.
"So, you going to tell her or me?"
"I will, okay! Sheesh."
"So... what happened?" asked Ukyou again.
"Ibittheguy," he mumbled.
"What was that? Couldn't hear you," said Ukyou.
Sarah: you could say... he got him in his Achilles Heel.
"Yeah, Ranma, say that again?" teased Ryouga.
"I bit the guy, okay?" said Ranma angrily. "You happy now?"
"Bit him on the ankle," added Ryouga.
"Hey man, it was a tough fight!"
"Sure, Ranma, riiiight," said Ryouga.
"He bit me first!" yelled Ranma.
Ukyou frowned. "He did? Ew."
Sarah: where where?
"On Ranma's butt," filled in Akane.
Eric: ouch ... please dont show us the bite marks.
Ukyou and Ryouga burst out laughing. Ryuu and Natsumi were in a world
of their own. Kurumi was doing her best to destroy that world.
Sarah: tsk Kurumi...
Ranma glared at his fiancee. "Akane! What'd ya go and tell'em for?!"
"Oh please, they'd have found out sooner or later," said Akane. "If
we hadn't arrived here first they'd have seen it."
"Seen what?" asked Ukyou.
Akane looked at Ranma. "C'mon, show it."
Sarah: yeah yeah1
"No way!" protested Ranma.
Eric: thats the attitude
"C'mon, Ranchan, let's have a look," teased Ukyou.
"Come on, it's not that bad," soothed Akane.
Ranma scowled. He stood up and turned around, revealing two distinct
bitemarks. One was a nasty set of rips along his arm, the other was a
definite big chomp to his left posterior cheek. Through the holes,
his boxers and some bandages were visible.
"Happy now?" asked Ranma grumpily.
Eric: no...
Sarah: yes!
"Yes dear," said Akane, smirking.
"Hey, Ranma, that was two bite marks?" asked Nabiki, not bothering to
look up from her laptop.
"Um, yeah."
"How many bruises?" asked Nabiki.
Sarah: oh cripes.
"What?"
"Just answer the question. How many bruises?"
"A dozen, I think."
"Damn. Cuts?"
"Three. Nabiki, why a-"
"How many minutes was the match?"
Eric: oh boy daisuke and hiroshi strike again.
"It w-"
"Nevermind, got it here. Fifteen minutes thirty-two seconds. Damn."
"Huh?"
"Did the guy break your nose?"
"No."
"Whew! Dodged a bullet there."
"Nabiki, why are you asking me this stuff?"
"Your injuries are part of a gambling pool. Just needed to
confirm'em."
"WHAT?!"
>From across the room, Hiroshi could faintly be heard crying.
"Everything but the broken nose! So close!"
Eric: whew...
Sarah: hummm...
"Cheer up, man," said Daisuke. "We can still recover from this."
Ukyou took a moment to glare angrily at a certain slim, arrogant
figure that was seated across the cafe, cozying up in a couch with a
certain pig-obsessed girl. She was very much worried about Akari's
welfare.
Sarah: as well she should be... oh this isnt good.
Eric: Ryouga is taking this awfully well.
*
"What's that on your tie, Ryo-kun?" asked Akari.
"Hm? This?" He put down the small stack of paper he was reading over
and examined his tie briefly. "I think it's Miss Kuonji's blood."
Eric: grrr..
Akari 'eep'ed and turned away, repulsed by the sight of blood. "Ryo!
You shouldn't wear it now!"
Sarah: aww poor akari... he better learn to be nicer...
He gave her a questioning glance. "But this is my favorite tie."
"Ryo, please?" asked Akari. "Please?"
"Geeeh." He narrowed his eyes, mumbled under his breath for a moment,
then removed the tie. "Anything for you, dear," he said with a forced
smile.
Sarah: oh come one act nice... please?
"Thank you, Ryo-kun," said
Eric: humph... not bad...
Sarah: though a few things when Akari appeared in the cafe after the
first round of the story she said absolutely nothing.
Eric: this is just a personal issue but it seems you just elimnated most
of the women... in fact there cant be any more left... its all men...
Sarah: while i understand the focus of fighting and stuff like that...
is this all going on during the same day? How about some insight on
whats going at night and stuff? or is it all going on during the same
day..
Eric: please provide a little thing about the obscure characters again,
if these characters are from the Manga or anime or whatever... i've
never heard of half of them.
Sarah: still its pretty interesting so far... i personally really enjoy
the pairings you are making up, even if they are sideline stories...
Eric: which brings up another point... the story doesnt seem to be
developing per se along any sort of lines... it is just a brawl... which
is fine except its a definite change of pace from TMTC or TPOH, which
developed the characters as well.
Sarah: *nod* it seems the only characters being developed are the side
characters.
Eric: anyways this chapter was fun to read (exccept for Ukyou getting
beat up) and i look forward to your next one..
Dim: the depressing chapter
Sarah: SHUT UP! Ahem... so do i...