hi - this one is short, and maybe sad, and maybe preachy, and probably 
OOC...let me know what you think of it. and if anyone can think of a better
title, let me know!

- mee

--------

Morning
by Mee Robinson

* indicates Chinese...er...Mandarin?


"This is what I miss, Cordelia: not something that's gone, but something 
that will never happen. Two old women giggling over their tea." 
- Margaret Atwood, _Cat's Eye_



     Life in Nerima has been hard, but good. Funny, but we stayed, even
after everyone else moved away and started new lives elsewhere.
     We are on a boat, on our way to a celebration. To celebrate the
birth of my daughter. My husband, although he has spent many hours 
flying as a duck, still dislikes airplanes.

     It was Mu Tsu's decision to stay in Japan. He had been offered a 
teaching position at the local college, and who could be better at 
explaining Chinese customs and history? He accepted; he wanted 
the opportunity to explore...to experience new things.  Of course, 
his devotion to me was as strong as it had ever been, stronger, now 
that he knew he could never lose me. If I had wanted to return to China, 
he would not have hesitated. But I agreed to stay. Japan had become...home.

     So I learned the language. I taught martial arts at the Tendou Dojo, which 
had been taken over by Kasumi and her husband, Tofu-sensei. After all, 
much as I enjoyed working at the Nekohanten when I was a girl, it wasn't 
something I expected to do for the rest of my life. And the flexible hours 
were a blessing; I could work part time and still take care of my firsborn, 
my son, Hayashi. Now he is almost four years old, and is asleep on the
seat next to me, his head on my lap. 

     When I first had a son, I didn't quite know what to do. Japan is a 
patriarchal society, but I am an Amazon at heart. Somehow, I had been
expecting my firstborn to be a girl, one that I could raise in the proud 
Amazon tradition, just as I had been. My husband suggested,
with a smile, that we name the child Ukyou, and raise him as a girl. 
Fortunately, living in Nerima has accustomed me to much that would 
seem strange in the Joketsuzoku village, and we have, more or less, 
been able to raise Hayashi as a typical Japanese boy. And I love him 
with a fierceness that surprised me at first. Like that of a lioness for 
her cub. But the tiny girl-child, the nameless one that I hold in my arms, 
makes me ache for times past. I want her to know the beauty of my 
native land, to learn the love of the Joketsuzoku people. I want to show her...

     Whatever happened to Ukyou? I know that she returned to Kyoto, and
there were rumors that Ryouga followed. But I never saw her again. I
miss her. Almost as much as I miss Akane. Even though all we ever did 
was fight. Somehow, I always believed she understood me better than 
anyone else. Two girls desperately vying for a man they could never 
have. She left suddenly. I never even got a chance to taste her okonomiyaki, 
which Mu Tsu swears was better than any other he's ever had. 
Perhaps she kept in touch with the Saotomes. I never thought to ask. 

     Hiba-chan, I'm lonely. Perhaps I always have been. I love my husband.
I love my family. But I have no sisters here to talk to, to play games with. 
No one my size to be a sparring partner. Nothing to chase. 

     *Xian Pu?*
     *Yes, Mu Tsu?*
     *You look sad. Are you all right?*
     *Yes. I was just wishing...that Great-grandmother could have lived to
see this day. And my daughter...our two beautiful children.*
     *Don't worry, Xian Pu. I'm sure somewhere, wherever she is, Ku Lon
knows.*
     He smiles warmly and touches my cheek, then the smooth, impossibly
soft lavender halo of my daughter's hair.
     And I wonder.

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