<A sheepish-looking Lurker enters the room, with angry red palmprints on
his face. Hikaru stalks into the room, scowling at Lurker>

Hikaru: Hentai.

Lurker: Ahem. Anyway, here we are to C&C the newest chapter of Oh! My
Brother! 

Thanks to the FFML for their help on this fic.  Also, please note I

changed

the name of the girl from the last chapter from Hitomi Nickolas to Rachel
Iwasaki.  Lurker pointed out a rather interesting connection someone

could

make on the recent scandal.  Besides, Rachel's a nicer name.  ^_^

Lurker: Yep.

There are days Urd REALLY irritates me, you know?

Lurker: She has that effect on people.

I stared at the note for a few minutes.  *Way to make a good impression,
Urd, pass notes like we're in elementary school.*  I checked the clock. 
11:30.  Great, I had just enough time for me to clean up and get over
there.  I spent the next half an hour getting cleaned up and cursing

under

my breath, and flew over to the school.  I ran into the cafeteria, and

saw

Rachel sitting there.

"Hi," I said, running up, "sorry about this."  Rachel looked at me

blankly

for a moment, and then her eyes brightened in recognition.

"Chris, right?" she asked me, smiling.  "Looking for another book?"

I frowned in confusion.  "Didn't you get a note asking you to be here?"

She laughed.  I idly noted that it was a very nice laugh.  "Why would I

get

a note, I always eat here!"  I heard a whistle and looked over in the
direction it came from.  There was Urd, holding that damn envelope,
Belldandy standing beside her.  I got the message easily enough.  *I

would

have known that if I looked at that portfolio.*  I muttered several

curses

involving meddlesome goddesses.  

Lurker: <chuckle>

"Uhh...Rachel?" If it was a choice between getting shot down and Urd's
helping me, I'd take my chances with the girl.  "Would you like to go out
sometime?"

Obviously I startled her, because she became very flustered.  "OK, that

was

out of the blue," she stalled.  "Hmm..." she looked me up and down.  I

hate

it when girls do that, it makes me feel like I'm some hunk of meat on

sale.

 "Maybe."

Lurker: <chuckle>

Hikaru: <scowl>

*Oh great, just keep me hanging,* one part of me said.  *Would you rather
she said no?* another part countered.  *Not particularly,* the first
responded.  I have to stop having these conversations with myself. 
"Maybe?"

"Well...I don't know much about you, other than the fact you have a

little

sister who goes to college with you and you can't stand arts profs."  She
looked me up and down again, and I felt myself blush.  "How about we

talk?"

 I sat down and we were soon talking.

Lurker: <grin> That's the way to do it...

Hikaru: So says *you*...

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Belldandy resignedly handing
something to a grinning Urd.  *Great, they're making bets on my love

life.*

Lurker: What the hell else would a pair of goddesses bet on? Football?

As I was on my way to my afternoon class, I felt a familiar arm snake
itself around my waist.  "So how'd it go, 'Niichan?"

I tried to give Urd a glare, and failed miserably.  "Urd, I don't know
when, and I don't know how, but someday I'll get you for that."

Lurker: Oooh, threats.

"I take it things went well?" she asked innocently.

"You mean you WEREN'T eavesdropping?" I asked, honestly surprised.

She pouted.  "What kind of girl do you take me for?"

Lurker: There are *so* many ways that question could be misinterpreted...

Hikaru: <slaps Lurker a few times> SUKEBE!

My life was going great, wasn't it?  You're probably bored out of your
skull.  I am, and I'm writing this.  Unfortunately, some bright-eyed

maniac

(named Skuld) decided right about now would be the perfect time for me to
start learning about one of my other duties.  Namely, wish bringing.

<crack*boom*ominous thunder>

Cases in point: Belldandy's first wish ended up with her LIVING with the
recipient (not that she minds).  Skuld's first wish ended up with the

trio

gaining a big brother (not that any of them mind, as far as I know). 

Just

thinking about what kind of trouble Urd's first wish might have been

keeps

me up nights.

Lurker: <chuckle>

*Of course she's crying," I mentally complained.  *A nice, cheerful girl

Lurker: Fix that quote mark sticking out there...needs to be an
asterisk...(gawd, I can't believe I just *said* that...)

To be honest, she looked a little too fragile right now to deal with a
truly impressive entrance.  But then, most people are too fragile to deal
with my entrances.  Not that I know why, I'd think a guy just appearing

out

of thin air would be easier to take then some girl stepping out of a
mirror, television or even a puddle....but no, I get the screams, not

them.

 Belldandy says it has something to do with the fact I'm tall and
reasonably well built, but I think she's just trying to be nice.

Lurker: (falsetto Belldandy-ish voice) Oh, I'm sorry Chris-kun. You see,
people react that way because they mistake you for a molester...

Three, she was CUTE.  I don't mean like Rachel, who while not being
classically beautiful, had this quality about her that took my breath

away.

 I mean like...like...well, I don't know who she was like.  She was

short,

roughly Belldandy's height, and had a rather well-rounded figure, to put

it

politely (to put it rudely, WOW).  Her large hazel eyes were liquid with
the tears that glistened in them, and tears ran down her high cheekbones.

Her red-brown hair curled about her shoulders loosely, and she chewed on

a

lock of it.

<Hikaru slaps Lurker repeatedly>

Lurker: Wha? Wha'd I do? I'm just tryin' to read the fic here!

Hikaru: Hmph. You're being a pervert anyway. 

Lurker: ::thinks:: *since when did Hikaru start acting like Akane? This is
nuts...*

As I endeavored to think clean thoughts (I'm male, I'm single, I'm 22 -
take it from there), I checked myself over.  I was a god, after all, I've
got to make a good impression.  Black jeans, green dress shirt over a

white

T-shirt, dark green trenchcoat, and shades.  Oh yeah, I'm the image of a
god, all right.  If you believe that, I've got some nice bridges to sell
you.

Lurker: Got anything in suspension?

Hikaru: I wouldn't mind a drawbridge model...

"Like I said, you looked like you needed it," I responded easily, careful
to not make light of her tears with my tone, and gave her a sincere

smile. 

"You also look like you need someone to talk to."  She gave me a

suspicious

look, and I quickly elaborated.  "Hey, I'm from the Goddess Relief

Office."

 I hate that name.

Lurker: Yeah, it's so sexist.

Hikaru: <stares at Lurker, but refrains from comment>

"What kind of weirdo are you?" she demanded angrily, standing up and

taking

a couple steps back.

Gonzo: He's not any kind of weirdo I've seen...

Hikaru, Lurker: O_O

Lurker: Where the hell did *that* come from?

Hikaru: KILL IT!!

Lurker: Hai! <pulls out a phaser, set to "flash fry", and roasts Gonzo. The
weirdo explodes in a cloud of charred chicken feathers.>

*This is going fantastic,* I thought to myself.  I held my hands up in
surrender.  "You just made a phone call, and got a weird wrong number,
right?"  She looked at me with surprise and fear, and I knew I was right.

"Well, it wasn't a wrong number.  You have been chosen, Ami Tokomi, to
recieve a wish."  What, you're surprised I knew her name?  Give me SOME
credit, we always get dossiers on wish recipients.  I stood, and bowed
slightly.  "And I'm the god who's going to grant it."

Lurker: I don't know which one to feel sorrier for...

"Anything I want?  Like anything?" she asked eagerly.  There was a feral
gleam in her eyes now.

Lurker: Uh-oh...

"On behalf of the decent half of my gender, I'd like to apologize for

that

creep," I said as she finished.  

Hikaru: Least he has some redeeming qualities...

Lurker: Hey!

Hikaru: <smiles sweetly>

She smiled weakly, and sighed.  "You're a nice guy, Chris."  You know, it
bothers me when people say that.  It's like it's unusual for a guy to be

a

decent human being or something.  Go figure.

Lurker: <nods>

"Chris?" Ami asked softly, stopping.  She turned and looked at me
hopefully.  "Can you do something..." she trailed off.

I arched an eyebrow at her.  "Godly?"  She blushed and nodded quickly.  I
sighed and summoned my armor, careful to leave off my weaponry, and

careful

to leave on the trenchcoat.  "How about this?"  I froze time and walked
around to a few feet in front of her.  "Or this?"

Lurker: Showoff.

I looked down at myself.  "Hey, I happen to think it looks good," I said
defensively.  "Better than that chainmail and furs stuff some of the guys
have."  I decided not to mention Thrudr's chainmail bikini.  I adopted a
false French accept.  "It is the biggest thing in Paris, no?"

Hikaru: Oui.

Lurker: ...we what? 

Ami rewarded my joke with some bright laughter.  "Chris, I wish I had a
chance at a guy like you," she giggled, and then gasped.  "Oops."

Lurker, Hikaru: O_O

Lurker: Ooooooooooh ssssshhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiittttt........

Hikaru: Ditto...

Suddenly I felt the that little fountain of magic within me explode with
power, like a fire-hose at full force.  I felt my entire being filling

with

the awesome energy, and I could see a column of light start to form

around

me.  I was becoming a vessel for that power, and it flowed through my

body

from the ground into the sky.  I began to cry out in a mixture of pain

and

rapture, as I rose several feet off the ground, held by the incredible
power I was channeling.

Lurker: Whoa. Better than...

Hikaru: <sword at Lurker's throat> Don't...say....it.

As suddenly as it arrived, the power left me, leaving me feeling drained
and exhausted as I fell to the ground.  I felt like some part of me had
been taken with that power, and something even more inhuman was used to
replace it.  With a bit of bitterness, I realized I was now truly a god. 
There was no turning back now.

Lurker: In more ways than one...

Ami was looking at me with fear, trepidation, and more than a bit of

hope. 

I weakly smiled at her.  "Wish granted."

Lurker: Well, that does it for Chris and Rachel...

Hikaru: That sucks.

Skuld turned and leaned over the back of the couch.  "Yeah, what did she
wish for?" she asked eagerly.

Lurker: Your brother, on a silver platter, a la carte.

Hikaru: <groan>

I sighed.  "Skuld, am I a martial artist?"  Urd turned off the TV, and

the

two exchanged a look.

"Of course not," Skuld answered.  "Why?"

"Do I have a father who gets me involved with women at the drop of a

hat?"

"Last I checked, no," Urd responded.  "What's this about, 'Niichan?"

"Then why," I growled in exasperation, "is my life turning into Ranma

1/2?"

Lurker: ... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Hikaru: <giggle>

"I do," I admitted, "but lets be honest, we haven't even gone out yet,

and

besides, Ami is a very nice girl."  I shook my head.  "To make it worse,
Urd did some checking.  Rachel's been touched by the wish too, because of
the way Ami worded it."  I sighed and explained further.  "She asked for

a

CHANCE.  That means she has to be able to lose."  I groaned at put my

head

in my hands.  "And to top it all off, she's HAPPY about it!"

Lurker: <chuckle> 

I felt a pair of soft arms drape over me and a head nestle into the space
between my neck and my shoulder.  "Hello, Chris, you miss me?" an
affectionate voice asked.  My mind decided to go on the fritz for a

moment,

and I stammered a bit before answering.  Attractive girls do not do that

to

me every day - I'm allowed to lose it.

Lurker: Get used to it, dude. <snicker>

"H-hi, Ami," I finally managed.  "You take classes here too?"

"Just visiting," she purred. "I wanted to see you."

As I sweated under her attentions, the words of Samuel Becket came to

mind.

 "Oh boy."

Lurker: ..... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hikaru: <laughs>

Lurker: Oh man, this is getting hilarious! More, more!

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Akane, Ukyou, Ryouga, Shampoo, and Mousse 
embark on their journey to find the Escudo.
Jikai ni: Onna: Red Side, Chapter 20.
Don't miss it! Coming soon!

---
One Angel.
One Demon.
One Planet.
One Weapon.
Zero Hope.
-=FINAL IMPACT=-
Lurker's new crossover epic
Coming soon...
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
Kyouju, Shin Mugen-gakuen
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

---
The Eternal Lost Lurker can now be spotted roaming
around on AOL! ELstLurker@aol.com
---

Crack kills. Remember that next time you eat chili.

I like sword better. More personal weapon.
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