A year ago, Frosty compiled a list of "revengefics", based on a concept 
by Scott Jamison.  Stories where fanfic characters took revenge on the 
authors that had written them into ridiculous or unflattering 
situations.  Frosty invited every author on the FFML to contribute a 
story.

I whipped this off in about an hour and sent it to him.  It was one of 
the first contributions Frosty received.  It was certainly before I 
read other so-called revengefics.  I say "so-called" because most of 
the other revengefics seemed full of wish-fulfillment rather than true 
revenge.  :) Smacked a lot of "Please don't throw me in that briar 
patch!"  Curiously, 99% of the revengefics had the authors taking a 
plunge in the Nyannichuan.  Make of that what you will.

Anyway, this was all released on Halloween, 1996.  Yes, it's been a 
year.

I'm planning on a second annual revengefic, to be released this 
Halloween.  To set it up, I'm reposting last year's revengefic.  Just 
to refresh your memory.  :)

Keep in mind, this was written over a year ago, before "Thy Outward 
Part", before the Nuku Nuku and Sailor Moon stories, before "Magic" and 
"Roses of Shadow".  All I had were my first few Ranma fics, including 
all of "Thy Inward Love".

Look for the sequel next Friday.

-Richard
sterman@sprynet.com

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| All of my fanfics can be found on my fanfic web page |
|  http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/sterman/fanfic.htm  |
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>From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:
But thou, contracted to thine-


Aw, shaddup Willy.  Your stuff is so... *boring*.  Here, let me show 
you how the Saotome School of Classic Poetry-Making Stuff:


I know a young hunk, name of Ranma;
A martial arts stud that can pound ya'.
   Then he met Akane,
   Whose arms were quite brawny.
Uncute and unsexy- <WHAM> "Baka!"


Ouch.

Um, anyway:


Richard Gets What's Coming To Him

by Saotome Ranma


I blinked.  Where was I?  I'd been writing a fanfic, trying to get it 
just right, when suddenly I was... here.  Wherever "here" was.  It 
seemed to be nothing more than a square, white room completely devoid 
of furnishings.  Along one wall were two closed doors.

"You gotta choose a door, Lawson."  I whirled, and there he was.  Ranma 
Saotome himself, complete with red shirt, pig-tail, and angry 
expression.

I gaped at him.  "You speak English!"

"Well, I speak English in your fanfics, don't I?"  His brow lowered 
further.

Good point.  "What's going on?"

He gave me an evil smile.  "Revenge."

My eyebrows shot up.  "Revenge?  For what?"

"For what you did to me in your story."

My jaw dropped open for a moment.  "But, Ranma, I got you married, and 
gave you a couple of kids, and reconciled you with Kodachi and Shampoo 
and Ryoga and..."

"No, not those stories.  We can talk about those some other time.  I'm 
talking about the one you killed me in."

I shook my head.  "Storm's End?  The story wasn't about you, it was 
about Akane, and in the end..."

"No!"  He opened his shirt.  He had a horrible scar on his stomach.

I blanched.  "Oh," I said in a very small voice.  "That one."

"Yeah, 'that one'."  He buttoned up his shirt and glared at me.  "You 
had Kasumi kill me and just about everyone else.  I didn't even get a 
chance to fight back or nothin'."

Ranma grabbed my shirt and lifted me in the air.  "Well, now's payback 
time."

I grabbed his arm, vainly trying to loosen his grip.  "Ranma, I'm 
sorry, I was thinking of changing the ending, truly I was.  Let me go 
back and..."

"Too late."  He dropped me.  "You like Kasumi, don't you?"

Sitting on the ground, I gaped at him.  This seemed completely 
non-sequitir.  "Well, I like Nabiki the best."

"But you like Kasumi better than anyone else besides Nabiki, right?  At 
least, the way *you* write her."  He sneered at me.  "Well, here's your 
dream come true."

The doors opened simultaneously.  Behind each stood Kasumi.  I looked 
back and forth between one and the other.  They seemed identical.

"Step through a door, and you'll be married to Kasumi.  Don't worry, 
she and Tofu broke up, and they're still friends.  You and she will 
have found a plausible way to get to know each other, and at the moment 
you step through the door, you'll have been married to her for a year."

My heart started racing.  This was a fanboy's dream come true.

Suddenly it all came crashing down.  How was this revenge?  I looked at 
Ranma.  "What's the difference between the two Kasumis?"

He grinned.  "Oh, it's simple.  One's the Kasumi from 'Heart of the 
Home'.  The other's from 'Appearances'."

I shuddered.  I looked once more at them.  They were each smiling at 
me, and their eyes were warm and loving.  One of them was the woman of 
my dreams.  The other was a psychotic killer.

I swallowed heavily.  "What if I don't want to choose?"

"Oh, that's fine, too."  Ranma began limbering up.  "You can stay with 
me forever in this room.  Of course, I'll be continuing my martial arts 
studies.  You make a very convenient punching bag.  You'll find that 
your wounds, while being quite serious, will never manage to kill you. 
 You'll probably learn some martial arts from me over the centuries, 
but you'll never be as good as me."  He began a kata of some sort, 
which took him ominously in my direction.

I panicked and looked at the Kasumis.  I had to choose.  Which one was 
right?  Did it make a difference?  Even if it was the psychotic Kasumi, 
as long as I didn't oppose her, she wouldn't have a reason to kill me.

Something hit my shoulder, hard.  I turned my head and managed to snap 
it back as Ranma's elbow flew past it.  He smiled and continued his 
kata, which somehow lead him in a tight circle back in my direction.

Drawing a breath, I made a decision.  I leapt through a door and...

"It's a fine day, is it not, Richard-chan?"  Kasumi and I were sitting 
at a table looking out the open door at a lovely Japanese garden.  It 
didn't look like the Tendo home, but it was still beautiful.

I looked at Kasumi.  The sight of her melted my heart.  For revenge, 
this was pretty good.  "It is indeed, dear wife."

"Wife?"  Her brow wrinkled ever so slightly.  "Don't I have a name?  Am 
I nothing more than an object to you?"

My heart leapt into my throat.  "No, no, please Kasumi, I'm sorry."

She smiled again.  "I forgive you."  She began to pour some tea.

I began to think quickly.  I had always written my characters to be 
politically correct.  Kasumi was carrying it a bit far, but that was 
still entirely within character - at least, the character I'd written. 
 So was her mild rebuke; she'd quickly accepted my apology and moved 
on.

Or had she?  The psychotic Kasumi remembered things like this.  If you 
piled up enough of them, she might decide to do something about it. 
 And her reaction *was* a bit over-played for the normal Kasumi.

Kasumi gave me a cup of tea.  I looked down at it, wondering what 
ingredients it contained.

She coughed slightly.  I felt the panic rising again, wondering what 
I'd forgotten.  It came to me in a flash.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  She stood up and walked behind me.  "Your shoulder 
seems a little sore.  Let me massage it for you."  Her hands began to 
work my shoulder.  It should have been relaxing, but her hands would 
occasionally move up to my neck.  It may have been my imagination, but 
it seemed to me that she squeezed harder when they were close to my 
jugular.

I trembled and looked down at my untouched tea.  The scope of Ranma's 
revenge was at last becoming clear to me.

Kasumi spoke brightly.  "Have a cookie, Richard-chan."

I began to cry.