Hi all, I think I have this part of Sureal Genius to what I'd
call a good point to go to part 6. I'll be posting parts 1-4 over the
week for those who haven't seen them yet or have missed it. Anyways
tell me what you think.
Legal: The characters of Ranma 1/2 were created by the great Rumiko
Takahashi.
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of
entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that
desire, I have almost no money.
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com
--------
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfict
Surreal Genius
By Brendan O'Donnell
Part five
Somewhere in the wilds of Japan a solitary figure in a worn and
dusty cloak was walking. "Ranma," he whispered to himself as he
continued down the road. Hearing a rumbling sound he looked over his
shoulder. An enormous boar was charging at him. He scowled and turned
around.
The cloaked figure drew his right hand from beneath his cloak
and raised it to about chest level, curling the fingers into a claw.
His lips curled back as he snarled menacingly. The boar almost fell
over stopping it's charge. It looked at it's opponent a moment before
turning and running back the way it had come as fast as it's legs could
move. The globe of black laced blue fire in the figure's fight hand
dissipated as he lowered his hand to his side. Turned back to the way
he had been going, the figure walked on, straight past the sign saying
"Tokyo, turn right now."
Ranma opened the closet in his new room. From the top shelf he
removed the one suitcase he had never unpacked. Taking it down he
adjusted the two combinations and opened it. He looked inside closed
his eyes and sighed a very tired sigh. "I hope Kasumi will help me get
this dress ironed for tomorrow, otherwise I might have to buy another
one." He looked at the neatly packed Bra and Panty. "Or worse." He
shuddered.
"Hello Ranma." Kasumi said with a smile as she turned from
hanging the laundry to dry.
"Hi Kasumi. I assume Nabiki and Akane told you about tomorrow,
do you want to come? I'm sure Mom'd love having you."
"No, I have a few things to do. But it's sweet of you to ask."
She smiled. Then she looked at the dress Ranma had slung over his
shoulder. "What's that?"
Ranma sighed slightly. "A dress. I packed it away last month,
and I was hoping you could help me get it looking presentable for
tomorrow." *So Mom doesn't have any excuse to buy me a new one.*
Kasumi took the dress from Ranma. It was a blue dress, very
simple design. Looking it over Kasumi's experienced eye deduced two
facts by comparing the cut to Ranma's form. First, Ranma had picked
this dress because it was neither tight enough to slow her movements,
nor loose enough to become tangled when she moved fast. Secondly, "Oh
my, this will look absolutely adorable on you."
Ranma winced, then forced himself to smile. "Mom helped me
pick it out last month. There are a lot of dresses that you can't kick
properly in you know."
Kasumi smiled and replied, "I know, Akane's complained about it
to me a few times."
"Ah, I guess she would. Um..."
"Don't worry I'll have this all ready for you tomorrow."
"Thanks. Are you sure you wouldn't come with us?"
"This is your time with your mother. I've shopped with her
enough this week, and I really do have things to do."
"...OK, thanks again." Ranma said as he went back to his room.
Akane sat in her room looking into a mirror as she slowly put
on her makeup. Her hair was loosely braided and hung down her back,
and she was wearing a nice yellow dress with floral patterns.
"Akane..." Nabiki said as she walked into the room, then she
trailed off as she looked at her sister. "Getting nice and pretty for
your future fiancee and mother in law?" she said with a smirk.
"Nabiki!!" Akane replied, turning to look at her sister.
Nabiki was wearing a red skirt, a blue and white striped blouse, and a
light orange jacket. "I'm just making sure I look my best."
"Ah, you're scared that Ranko might look better than you." she
responded with a grin.
Akane looked at her sister with angry eyes. *Do you have to
blurt it out?* "Why should I be scared by anything that fake girl
does?!"
"Because he's a better martial artist than you, and you're
worried he might be better at being a girl."
Akane glared at her sister, then she turned away with a
'Humph!"
Nabiki shut the door and walked to Ranma's room. *I shouldn't
taunt Akane like that, but she did help Ranma with that little joke.
Ok when I go in I'll say something like 'Wow, no wonder Kuno's so nuts
about you.'* She suppressed a malicious chuckle as she knocked at the
door to the room that was now Ranma's.
"Ranko, are you ready?"
"No!" Ranma responded in the most curt and abrupt voice Nabiki
had ever heard her use. With a grin she opened the door.
"Do you need any help?" She looked at Ranma dressed in a
gorgeous light blue dress her arms contorted around her back. "You
need a zip right?"
Ranma ignored her a moment then brought her chopsticks bearing
right hand back in front and said "No that should do it."
Nabiki looked at her and grinned slightly, "Creative I see."
"Is there something you want Nabiki?"
"I just want to see if your ready. My you're gonna have to
beat the guy's off with a stick."
"A stick?" Ranma replied with a puzzled look on her face.
"Anything Goes is primarily unarmed."
Nabiki glared at him a moment then started laughing. Ranma
joined her.
"Ranko, Akane, Nabiki." Nodoka called up the stairs.
"Coming mom." Ranma replied as he stepped out of his room
followed by Nabiki.
Akane walked out of her room a second later. She stopped to
look over Ranma a second. *He does look pretty good, but I'm not going
to say anything to him about it.*
"Wow." Ranma commented looking Akane over. "you look great."
*Well, It's better to be polite...* "You look pretty good
yourself. For a boy in a dress."
Ranma closed her eyes a moment then said "Just for today I'm
supposed to forget about being a boy and get in touch with my feminine
side." *As if.* She opened his eyes. "Let's go."
"Now that would look absolutely stunning on you Ranko!" Nodoka
commented as she looked into the window of the shop.
Ranma looked. Her mother was contemplating a frilly white
strapless dress. Ranma pictured herself in the dress for a moment.
Very feminine. "It's really not me."
"Oh but at least try it on first. You might be surprised."
Nabiki commented with a smile on her face.
Ranma paused as she saw the boutique three stores to the right.
Se stepped up to his mother. Nodoka glanced at her and she said "If
you so much as say the word Lingerie I'm going to start using the house
as a testing ground for chemical weapons."
Nodoka looked at Ranma, but her response was cut off.
"Pig Tailed Girl!" Screamed Kuno as he ran down the mall, arms
extended right into Ranma's foot. He shook his head a moment than
continued, "How wonderful that fate has brought us together this day!"
He grabbed Akane's hands. "And it has also guided the vital huntress
Akane to my side as well. If fate has decreed I shall not oppose her
generosity, I SHALL DATE YOU BOTH!" This time he was shut up by Ranma
and Akane's combined kicks.
"Who is this boy Ranko?" Nodoka asked as she looked at Kuno's
form lying on the ground in front of them.
"Mom, that is Tatewaki Kuno."
"Mother?" Kuno said as he rose again. "Greetings then, fair
woman. Had I not now been told of your relationship to the fair
pig-tailed girl it would have been obvious for you share her beauty.
Indeed I am happy to finally meet the woman who shall one day become my
mother in law." He grabbed at Nodoka's hands, which she yanked out of
the way.
Looking at Kuno with a very bored expression Nodoka said.
"Well Ranko, I see you weren't exaggerating when you said he was more
arrogant than your brother." Ranma's eye twitched a second.
"Ranko? That is the true name of the Pig-Tailed-Girl?" He
pulled out a very old fashioned writing set and knelt on the ground.
"I must prepare the ink lest I forget!"
Ranma looked at Kuno. She looked up and glanced at the shops.
With a grin she stepped forward and kicked Kuno's inkstone. Kuno
grabbed his other writing supplies and ran after it. Right into the
"Sanshiro Marital Arts Boutique."
Akane commented "Ranko that's cruel!" Then started laughing.
Nabiki said "Wait here, I've got to see this." Pulling
Noriko's camcorder from her purse she entered the store.
"Then he decided he should write a poem while he was 'inspired
by your love' and started ranting, first he'd say something about
Ranko then about Akane, and then he was screaming about how he loved
you both." Nabiki ate the forkful of Spaghetti and looked at the
others. "So there he was kneeling in front of that shelf of silk
panties ranting about how he couldn't choose. He seemed so out of it
that I decided to see just how much." She took a sip from her glass of
water. "So I grabbed this black lacy panty and slipped it on his head.
He didn't even blink!" The four women all giggled together.
"If it was anyone but Kuno I'd think you were being excessively
nasty." Ranma commented.
Nabiki looked at her. "Say Ranko, Noriko says that computer of
yours can get pictures from these tapes?"
"It's a simple function." Ranma replied.
"Well do you think you could make a few pictures for me? A lot
of kids at school would love to see Kuno in that sort of position."
She grinned as the thought of the potential profits.
"No trouble."
The party was siting in a booth at a ice-cream Parlor. Ranma
was looking her Parfait over, tapping the glass with her spoon a few
times before scooping a small spoonful into her mouth. "MMMM!!" she
commented. "I didn't know Parfaits tasted so good." She commented as
she sank her spoon deep into the dish, then pulled it out and scooped
another small bite.
Nodoka dropped her warning glare to comment, "You haven't had
one before?"
"Well I only have so much time to visit shops like this, and
when I'm with dad he's constantly going on about what Guy's should and
shouldn't do." Ranma stopped talking to scoop herself another small
spoon of ice-cream, this one catching part of the peppermint stick in
the parfait.
"Noriko said you and your dad went on a lot of training trips."
Nabiki commented
"Yeah, I started training when I was little, and Dad always
made a point about Mom not 'coddling' me too much. Of course dad being
such a moron..."
"Ranko! You know you shouldn't talk that way about your
father!" Nodoka said. "Even if it is true," she added.
"I'm not saying anything that's not obvious." Ranma replied.
Turning to Akane she said, "When I was about eight I took over most of
the logistical work on the training trips. Dad didn't mind in general
but ever so often he'd start ranting about how I didn't trust him.
Well I'd generally let him plan a training trip, and every single one
was totally botched. The only reason I'm cursed is because I decided I
could trust pop to pick one item on our Itinerary. Naturally that was
Jusenkyo. He didn't speak a word of Chinese and we all knew it, but
he'd rather go somewhere he didn't know anything about than ask for
help translating the pamphlet."
"Wow, your father sounds really..." Akane trailed off glancing
at Nodoka.
Genma sneezed. Soun looked at him from across the Shoji board
and asked, "Are you feeling well Saotome?"
"I'm fine Tendo." He picked up a piece and slapped it onto the
board. "You're minds not on the game."
"Of course not!" Soun replied. "This is a perfect opportunity
for us to bring our children together to unite our families and we're
sitting here playing Shogi! We should be following them and helping
Ranma discover how much he loves Akane! Or Nabiki!"
Genma looked at him and commented, "You've never seen my wife
when she's angry have you." Soun looked at him with a confused
expression. Genma continued, "The master himself was scared of her."
Soun blanched. Looking at the board he commented, "Perhaps
some things are better left unknown." He set a piece on the board.
Genma placed another piece of his own. "Check."
"Wait let's start over."
"You know what I don't understand is how you managed to do so
well in school despite all those training trips." Nabiki said.
"Well..." Ranma commented thinking to herself. "Actually when
I started Kindergarten I did really bad. C's and D's pretty much. Dad
alternated between being mad about the grades and loudly declaring how
much more important the Art was. Mom was just supportive. Anyway I
decided to approach the situation like any Martial arts problem, and
take a step back to examine it."
"You looked at school as a martial arts problem." Nabiki
stated looking at her half lidded.
"You know, you beat an opponent by understanding the opponent.
Anyway I decided to visit the library to try to get some outside
perspective on the subject. I identified the subjects I was having
trouble with and checked out every book on those subjects and read them
cover to cover twice each. By third grade I was getting straight A's
and skipped straight to fifth."
Ranma scooped the last of his parfait into her mouth. "Ok, How
about the chocolate one next?"
"Girls have to watch their figure's Ranko. Still you haven't
had parfaits before and you are very active." Nodoka said smiling.
"Arigato Mom." Ranma responded, before glancing at the TV set
by the counter. "Hey isn't that?"
"I do believe it is, Ranma." Nodoka responded. "I wonder how
your friends are?"
"Well I sent them a letter after I got back but I haven't
gotten a reply yet. You know how it is with snail mail."
Nodoka suppressed her confused look and replied. "Uh, yes..."
She blinked a moment, looking past Ranma toward the door to the
restaurant.
Ranma was turning her head to see what she was looking at when
a pair of arms grabbed him from behind. She caught a glimpse of purple
hair as a voice she hadn't heard in months proclaimed "Nihau Ranma!"
"Shampoo!"
"It good to see Ranma again!" Shampoo released Ranma and
looked her over. Her happy expression turned puzzled. "Why Ranma
wearing dress?"
"Could you call me Ranko for today." Ranma responded rubbing
her forehead with her right hand. She dropped the hand and looked
straight at Shampoo. In the dialect of Shampoo's prefecture she said,
">Mom decide I spend a day every month pretend be my twin sister Ranko.
Get in touch with feminine side and that.<"
"Ah, Shampoo understand. And Ranko talk Japanese. Shampoo
need practice to speak better."
"So who's your friend?" Akane asked in a neutral voice.
"Oh sorry. Akane, Nabiki, this is Shampoo of Joketsuke.
Rightful heir of 3000 years of Marital arts mastery. Shampoo, these
are Akane and Nabiki Tendo, Akane is the heir of the Tendo school of
Anything Goes Martial arts."
"Tendo school not Saotome School, yes?"
Nodoka responded, "Genma and Soun both studied under the same
sensei. After they... left him their schools can be considered to have
diverged."
"Ah, Shampoo understand. Shampoo happy to meet Ranko's friends
Akane and Nabiki!"
"We're pleased to meet you, Shampoo." Nabiki said calmly,
Akane nodding her agreement.
"So what are you doing here anyway?" Ranma asked.
"Obaba decided that Shampoo should learn ways outside village.
Shampoo is enrolled in Furinkan starting this week!"
Ranma blinked. His expression showed confusion for a second
then he sighed and looked resigned. "She's still trying for that
engagement."
"Engagement?" Asked Nabiki.
Nodoka responded, "Shampoo's great grandmother thought that
Ranma and Shampoo made a good match and was very... determined to make
them agree with her."
"She couldn't accept that I don't intend to throw away
everything I've done with my life up to now and move to the Chinese
countryside to become part of an old Eugenics program." Ranma said.
He glanced at the Tendo Sisters. "Maybe I should start at the
beginning."
Flashback:
The Saotome family is trudging through China behind the guide.
Ranma and Genma are both in their cursed forms, and all four of them
are looking tired.
"I'm hungry," Noriko commented.
"So am I," Ranma responded.
"Don't worry, we can restock in the next village." Nodoka
replied
"Oh sirs, here we come to Amazon village, we lucky yearly
tournament is in progress."
Ranma stepped forward looking at the fight raging on a
suspended log in the middle of the village. Banishing her thoughts of
hunger she examined the style of the two combatants. One, a very large
incredibly masculine looking woman was using a large spiked polearm to
attack her opponent. Her opponent, a rather attractive purple haired
girl, was countering with a pair of ornate Bonbori maces. As she
watched the purple haired girl used one mace to knock the polearm aside
while stepping in to thrust the other into her opponent who was knocked
high into the air by the force of the blow.
"Serious power," Ranma said to herself. Her sister handed her
a bun and she popped it into her mouth and continued contemplating the
contest. Then she saw everyone in the village was looking at her.
Glancing back she saw Noriko and Genma eating items picked up from the
table with the sign before it saying First Prize. "Hold it you two."
She was interrupted by a Bonbori landing right in front of her sister.
The winner of the contest followed her weapon. ">Who are you
and why are you stealing my prize?<" She asked in an angry voice.
Ranma looked at Noriko who had stepped back with an expression
of well hidden fear and stepped forward. In a very cold voice she
said, ">Girl is my sister. Doesn't read Chinese well enough to read
sign.<"
">Who are you?<"
">Ranma Saotome, someone who doesn't enjoy attacking
children.<"
She fixed her with a very dangerous look. ">My name is
Shampoo. Every year there is a contest. I won this year, so that is
my prize she was eating. It's for the winner not weaklings like
yourself.<"
">Confident,<" Ranma replied.
">Get on the tree. If you can give me a decent fight I'll only
have you and yours thrown out of the village.<"
"Be careful what you ask for," Ranma responded as she walked
over to the tree and hoisted herself up. Shampoo jumped onto the tree
easily and looked her over with disdain. *That's right, think she's no
threat.* Ranma stood casually, her arms folded across her chest.
Shampoo charged across the log. Just before reaching her
opponent she saw a subtle shift in her weight. She shifted her own
weight, and thus was only sent stumbling back by Ranma's kick instead
of being knocked off the log.
Shampoo narrowed her eyes and shifted into a more defensive
stance and approached Ranma.
Ranma stepped back into a defensive stance of his own and
watched Shampoo carefully.
Shampoo stepped foreword, thrusting straight at Ranma with one
Bonbori. Ranma ducked under it, then stepped back to avoid her follow
up kick. Shampoo spun from her roundhouse into a back spin kick which
caught Ranma in the side. Shampoo looked at Ranma, raised a bonbori
for a downward slash, while dropping the other to block the kick she
clearly read as targeting her hip area. She staggered back as the kick
smashed into her right shoulder, throwing her back.
End flashback
"We kept fighting for almost half an hour. It was one of the
hardest fights I've had in a while." Ranma said. "I had to dip into
every dirty trick and cheap shot Dad ever taught me, and Shampoo still
beat me."
"Shampoo was just lucky. She never fight any opponent as good
as Ranma."
"Your being modest, you did have me outclassed in speed and
strength."
"That only reason Shampoo not lose. Shampoo thought she good
fighter, but Ranmas moves either unreadable till they hit you, or they
read as one attack while they actually something else."
"Ahem, Anyway when Shampoo won she made this big announcement
about me being a friend and publicly offered to share her prize with me
and my family. She also apologized to Noriko for scaring her."
"So where does this Fiancee thing fit in?" Nabiki asked.
"Well that was when we met her great grandmother Cologne, and
she learned about the curse. Like I said they've been trying to
maintain this sort of crude Eugenics program. Whenever an Amazon gets
beaten by an outsider, if the outsider's a woman she has to be killed,
and if it's a man, the Amazon has to marry him."
"So if you had beaten her..." Akane mused.
Shampoo sighed and looked a little sad. "If Ranma win whole
village would seen Shampoo loose to outside woman. Shampoo glad Ranma
not beat Shampoo, and happier that Ranma not truly woman so Kiss of
death never needed."
"Shampoo's great grandmother Cologne showed up the next day. I
had explained about Jusenkyo the previous night, and Shampoo had told
me about the Marriage/kill law. Anyway Cologne offered to train me,
and since we didn't need to get back for about two months I accepted."
Shampoo added, "Great Grandmother try to make Ranma fight
Shampoo when she think he good enough to win, but Ranma sister realize
and warn Ranma. Ranma talk with Shampoo and decide that he was not
going to live in village no matter what great grandmother do. So Ranma
and Shampoo work out ways to keep law of marriage from being invoked."
Ranma shrugged, "A month and a half later we left the village.
Cologne was furious about Shampoo not becoming engaged with me, but
with a little help from Noriko Shampoo and I had made sure she couldn't
do anything about it."
Shampoo added, "Shampoo not mind marrying Ranma, but he
strongly planned his life outside Village so marriage not good idea.
Shampoo glad to have Ranma for friend."
Ranma grinned. "It's good to have you as a friend too
Shampoo."
"PIGTAILED GIRL!!"
As Ranma heard the cry from the entrance to the shop he closed
his eyes a moment.
"It has been too long since I so foolishly allowed the crowds
to separate us. But now they have parted as before the radiant light
of true love." Ranma glanced at Kuno, who was advancing across the
restaurant, the black panty still covering the top of his head. "Come
let us commence on our double date!"
Kuno's speech was interrupted when Akane stood, picked up a
nearby table, and knocked Kuno through the ceiling with a quick
underhanded swing. "That felt good." Akane commented as she sat and
grinned at Shampoo.
Shampoo looked at Akane, traced Kuno's path from the store with
her eyes then asked "Who that?"
Nabiki responded, "Local idiot, thinks there's some grand
romance between himself Ranko and Akane."
"Real idiot." Ranma added. "He's a decent swordsman but
you're better than he is easialy."
Nodoka looked at Shampoo a moment then asked, "So Shampoo, have
you picked up your uniform yet?"
Shampoo looked at Nodoka in confusion. "Uniform?"
Nodoka smiled at her then said, "You will have to wear a
uniform at Furinkan, Shampoo. Don't worry we were heading in the
direction of a store that sells them. Just come with us and I'll help
you get what you need."
Shampoo looked at herself in the mirror. She pivoted quickley,
watching the skirt of the girls uniform she was wearing flutter in
response to her movement. Then she Kicked at a high and low point in
the air, then leaped backward, Curling into a tripple role in the air
and coming out of it to land solidly. She smiled and nodded. "This
work."
"For you." Ranma grumbled as she stood to one side in an
identicle school dress. She was scowling, much to Nabiki and Akane's
delight.
"You know Ranko, you might be right." Nabiki commented with a
wide grin. "Fortunately this store has few different uniform styles,
and you can try them all on!"
"So where are you staying, Shampoo?" Nodoka mentioned as the
walked away from the shop.
Shampoo shifted the bag with her purchases to her left hand and
replied, "Shampoo not sure. She finding Hotel room after done with
shop, and look for appartment tommorow."
"No need for that, you can stay in Ranma's room." Nodoka
replied.
Shampoo stopped, blinked twice, then glanced at Ranma. "Ranma
no mind?"
"I'm staying at the Tendo Dojo so my rooms unocupied now."
Shampoo nodded. "But Shampoo no want be trouble for�"
"Trouble?" Nodoka responded. "I've taken care of Ranma for
sixteen years, and Noriko for ten. Trust me, you're no trouble."
Shampoo thought a moment then smiled. "Shampoo be good guest
with Ranma mother! Shampoo thank Nodoka help Shampoo."
"That was fun." Nabiki comented as she sat on her sister
Akane's bed.
"You think anything's fun if you get the chance to spend
someone else's money" Akane responede from her desk as she wiped off
her makeup. She sat back a moment and added, "Still it was a lot more
fun than I thought. I hope Shampoo'll take up Ranma's offer to train
here."
"Didn't Ranma say she was better than you?" Nabiki calmly
added.
Akane scowled. "That's just his oppinion. Besides whicever
one of us is better it'll be fun to talk to someone who understands
what I'm talking about when I talk about Martial Arts." She stood.
"Could you unzip me?"
Ranma put down the kettle of hot watter and sat at his desk.
Opening his laptop he turned it on and started typing.
Shampoo looked around the spartanly decorated room. Then she
undressed and slipped into Ranma's bed. She was asleep in seconds.