Without bothering to get into the finicky details of 
grammar correction this time, I'd like to talk about
my fundamental issue with this story.  There's nothing
wrong with Mai.  This is a problem.  A lot of new 
character fics bring in a character who defies the
reality of the series by being uncursed people with no
particular obsessions or quirks.  Just normal people who
are generally sensible except that they happen to be
in love with a Ranma character in defiance of the misery
this should naturally cause them.  This doesn't work for
me.  It's...too easy.  The comedy, the pathos, and the 
action of the series are driven by obsessions, 
dysfunctionality, and by supernatural handicaps 
and compulsions.  Without any of that, you don't have
anything noteworthy.  Please...tell me that Mai is
a ninja assassin out to kill Ranma, or a crazed 
vigilante who wants to wipe out the Yakuza, or
a supernatural being summoned by Gosunkugi to
clear the field with Akane by seducing her
fiancee, or a chicken who fell into nyannichuan.
Something.  Anything but a nice normal girl
intended to be the perfect girl for Ranma 
Saotome.