[Scene opens on a darkened theatre.  In it sit a man in a T-shirt and
jeans, another in silver and red armor.  The lights come up and the second
is revealed to be Crimson, the first to be Christopher Angel, God of
Moments.]

Voice: It's time for.....C&C!!!!
Crimson: [Wincing] I wish your alter ego would get off that pun.
Chris: [shrug] Don't look at me, I'm just a figment of his imagination.
Voice: Shaddup. [muttered] Everyone's a critic.

[theatre lights drop]

[theatre lights rise]

Crimson: Didn't we do this already?
Voice: Yeah, but Lurker revised it, so we're re-reviewing it.
Chris: Hoookay...

[theatre lights drop]

Voice: DAMNIT, stop playing with the dimmer!

[Cut things we've seen.]

	A chilling laugh came in Kunou's wake and Kodachi came through the hole
next as she said, "So, you wicked harridans!  You think you can counter

my

poisons in this place?  I think not!  
HOHOHHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHOH
HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"

Chris: [wincing]  Something I forgot the first time - shorten that damn
laugh.
Crimson: Not only is it painful, it wreaks havoc with word wrap.

	"I am *not* jealous! You can take her right now for all I care!" Akane
fumed.
	Usagi blinked, and blushed, both out of embarrassment and anger. "Hey!

Cut

that out!" Under her breath, she mumbled, "sheesh, what a pervert..."

Ranma

snickered. 

C&C:....
Crimson: Someone called Akane a pervert, and it was DESERVED!  BWAHAHAHA!
Chris: WAHAHAHA.....Point for Lurker?
Crimson: [nods] Point for Lurker.

[On a chalkboard on the wall, a huge scoreboard is shown.  In the box
entitled Lurker, a mark appears.]

	Kodachi realized that whatever was going on had little to do with her
Ranma-sama, and left. 

Crimson: [throwing popcorn at the screen]  Boo!  Hiss! Cop out!
Chris: Weren't you complaining about that whole Venus/Kodachi scene
earlier?
Crimson: It's still a cop out.

As Kodachi left, five other figures burst into the
room. The intruding horde gaped as the new arrivals leapt over their

heads,

to stand beside the bed. Four were very attractive young women, wearing
abbreviated sailor-fukus. The fifth was a gentleman in a tuxedo, cape,

and

eyemask.
	"S...Sailor Senshi," Akane gasped. 
	Ukyou blinked. "What the heck're the Sailor Senshi doin' here?"
	"Who are all you people?" Jupiter demanded.
	"Get outta here now, or you're gonna be in serious trouble," Mars said,
scowling.

Crimson: YAY REI-CHAN!
Chris: Rei-chan?  You NEVER call her Rei-chan!
Crimson: Not in public...[ducks under a fire bolt].
Chris: I didn't need to hear that.

	Kunou's jaw hung open. "The Sailor Senshi...indeed, they stand before

us,

in all their beauty and power. Those who defend the innocent against foul
creatures the likes of which even the cretinous sorcerer Saotome would
shudder at the very thought of...truly they must be sent from the gods
themselves, to greet the noble Kunou Tatewaki! It is I, the Blue Thunder,
whom you seek!"

C&C:....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Chris: [wiping tears from his eyes] Now that's entertainment.

	None of the Senshi seemed impressed by his speech. "You want Thunder? If
you don't shut up, you'll get some Thunder where the sun don't shine,"
Jupiter said. Kunou, knowing full well that the tall, chestnut-haired
Senshi could easily back that threat up, decided that perhaps it was best
to abide by her demands.

Apollo: What a woman!
Crimson: HEY! What the hell are you doing here?  This is C&C, not C&C&A!
Apollo: But...but...Makoto's on!
Crimson: So?
Apollo: But she's hot!
Chris: Guys, you've done this before.

	"Aiyah, what sailor girls doing here?" Shampoo asked.

Crimson: That's Sailor Girls.  Correct capitalization is important.

	"Probably more of Ranma's fiancees," Akane muttered.

Chris: Man, is it that time of the month or something? [ducks croquet
mallet]  Skuld, leave me alone and go bug Lurker!

	"Are you all deaf?" Mars snapped. "We know who you people are. We also
know you like to get into big fights that do a lot of damage. Well look
around. This is a hospital. Nobody invited you here, and our friend is

hurt

really badly. Can't you see the casts all over her body?"

Crimson: You tell 'em, Rei-chan!
Chris: Thank you, Sailor Mars fan club.

	"We don't need a brawl in a hospital room," Mercury said. "You could

cause

further damage to our friend."
	"So get out while you can. Or else we'll throw you out," Venus added.
	Mousse, who watched the news on a regular basis, silently slipped out of
the room, vowing to take care of Saotome later. Kunou left as well,
deciding to go purchase items of Sailor Senshi merchandise, planning to
construct a small shrine to his bounty from the gods.

Chris: You know, something just occurred to me...
Crimson: Which is?
Chris: Kuno loves getting pictures, right?
Crimson: Yes....
Chris: And the Senshi have that magical protection from photography, right?
Crimson: Not always, but sure...
Chris: Nabiki's going to have a fit over that.
Crimson: [smirk] Hey, I never thought of that....wait, this is Kuno...so he
can't see their faces, I doubt he cares.
Chris: True...

	Akane and Ukyou shuffled nervously. They both figured that if something
bad was going to happen to them, Ranma would protect them...but the

redhead

looked pretty well ticked off at the moment. "We'll discuss this later,

at

home, Ranma," Akane seethed. Turning on her heel, she stormed out.
	Ukyou sighed. "Whatever's goin' on here, you better tell me next time

you

stop at the Ucchan," she told Ranma. She left, idly twirling a spatula.

Chris: Ranma, the bell tolls for thee.

	The Senshi stared at Shampoo, eyebrows raised. For her part, Shampoo
didn't care much about current events in Japan, and so wasn't impressed

by

the Senshi. "Hmph. Silly sailor girls in too-short skirts no keep Shampoo
from airen. Shampoo throw all four out, and stupid tux-boy too." She

hefted

her bonbori.

Crimson: I think Cape-boy works better.
Chris: Nah...Tux-boy rolls of the tongue.  Like in Surreal World.
Crimson: Surreal World?
Chris: I quote Ataru: GOFORITTUXBOY!
Crimson: Ah, bowling scene. Either way, Shampoo's gonna get trashed.
 

	Ranma sighed. "Just great."
	Venus scowled. "You asked for it...VENUS LOVE-ME CHAIN!" The glowing
golden chain of hearts snaked out, and wrapped around Shampoo's bonbori.
The Amazon tugged on her weapons, while Venus tugged on the chain from

the

opposite end. 
	"SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!" Jupiter threw her thunder disc at Shampoo.

The

Amazon cried out in pain as the high-voltage attack struck her, and she

was

flung into the hallway through the hole she had made in the wall. Venus
yelped and dropped the chain, which disappeared after a moment. "Yeowch!
Watch it, Jupiter! Those round things are metal, y'know."
	"Sorry," the tall Senshi replied sheepishly.
	Ranma sighed. "This is all my fault. I'm sorry everyone."
	Venus shook her head. "How could it be your fault?"
	"They followed *me* here."
	Rei favored Ranma with an annoyed look, and snapped, "So what? You

didn't

have anything to do with it. It's not your fault those jerks don't have
better sense than to barge into a hospital like that."

Crimson: MARS!  It's MARS!

	"Anou..." Usagi said weakly. "Can someone explain what's going on here?"

Chris: 38 volumes of manga...
Crimson: ...7 TV seasons...
Chris: ...a bunch of OAVs...
Crimson:..and a load of fanfiction later...

	"You're kidding! Ranko-chan...I mean, Ranma-kun's really a boy then?"
	Ranma, now male, nodded. "Hai, Usagi-san," he said. 
	"So that bunch that showed up here?"
	"The girls are my fiancees...well, the gymnast one, Kodachi, just thinks
she is."
	Usagi's eyes widened. "Fiancees, plural?"
	Ranma sighed. "Don't remind me. It's all my stupid Pop's fault. The

curse,

the girls, everything."
	Usagi blinked. "And I thought my life was weird."

Chris: Wow.  A woman actually listened to Ranma's side...
Crimson: ...and didn't blame him for it.
Chris: Will wonders never cease.

	The other Senshi had reverted to their normal identities, as had Tuxedo
Kamen. Ami frowned. "I have a bad feeling..."
	"Hmm? What's wrong, Ami-chan?" Minako said.
	Ami's brow furrowed. "Well, we had assumed when we heard that horrible
crash, that a monster had gotten in here. But it was just Ranm...err,

those

people." Ranma winced. 
	"Yeah? So?" Makoto said.
	"Think about it," Ami continued. "The Sailor Senshi show up in a

hospital

room, and eject a group of unwanted intruders, claiming to be protecting

a

friend."
	"I see," Mamoru said. "You're afraid that they're going to start

wondering

what's so important about Usako."

Crimson: Point of order...he doesn't call Usagi 'Usako' when refering to
her, as far as I know.

	"And what Ranma's connection to us is," Ami added.
	The group sat in silence for a moment. Finally, Ranma groaned.
	"Shit," he said. "Knowin' them, they're gonna figure out who Usagi

is...oh

great."

Chris: Watch yer f***ing language!
Crimson: He's got a point though...considering that group, that's secret's
going to be out.

	"Let's hope not," Minako said. "Let's hope not."

Crimson: Cologne....5 minutes.
Chris: Nabiki...3 minutes.
Crimson: The letch....I don't want to think about that.
Chris: Akane...won't believe Ranma, will call him a pervert.
Crimson: Why do you say that?
Chris: He's fighting in girl form, and wearing one of those silly sailor
fukus WILLINGLY.
Crimson: They're not silly!  I think they look cute.
Chris: You would.  My point is still valid.
Crimson: True....ANYWAY, good job Lurker, it's better than before.
Chris: I really like Ranma's characterization in this.
Crimson: That's because you can sympathi-mph! [Chris has covered his mouth]
Chris: That's not out yet, BAKA!

--
Christopher "God-boy" Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
"Love is stronger than justice."
-The Munificent Seven by Sting