Lurker: I'm sure Flashman will add his comments on this one soon enough....

[Scene opens on a darkened theatre.  In it sit a man in a T-shirt and
jeans, another in silver and red armor.  The lights come up and the

second

is revealed to be Crimson, the first to be Christopher Angel, God of
Moments.]

Voice: It's time for.....C&C!!!!

Crimson: [Wincing] I wish your alter ego would get off that pun.

Chris: [shrug] Don't look at me, I'm just a figment of his imagination.

Voice: Shaddup. [muttered] Everyone's a critic.

Lurker: <snicker>

Episode 5: Ill Met by Moonlight

C&C: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Screenplay by: Flashman
Edited and expanded by: The Eternal Lost Lurker

Chris: This should be entertaining.

Lurker: I found it to be so. Flashman bailed me out nicely. ^_^

	The sunlight of a new day poured into the hospital room, highlighting

the

young woman in traction and the man who slept in the chair beside her

bed. 

The five o' clock shadow on the man's face bore silent testament to how
long he had remained by his true love's side.

Crimson: *sigh*
Chris: Getting a little mushy there...aren't you?
Crimson: Just thinking of what I'd do if Rei was like that.
Chris: [thought] The words 'homicidal rampage' come to mind.

Lurker: <snicker>

	As the light poured over the girl's face, her eyes squeezed tightly

and

she groaned.

Chris: There's somethign about this image...
Crimson: Yeah, I keep on picturing this pitcher of light, and someone
pouring it on her face.
[Two statues appear above the critic's heads and land on them.]
Voice: Idiots.

Lurker: <prepares his trusty lavender anvils>

	"Usako," Mamoru repeated as tears trickled down his face, "I'm

sorry...

if

I had gotten to you a little sooner... I just got you back, I didn't

want

to lose you again."

Crimson: Where does this occur?  Right after the bit with the Moonlight
Knight?
Chris: Or after Stars?
Crimson: Not that it matters, His Majesty seemed to be the bad guys
favorite target.  [beat] Next to Naru, that is.

For everyone who forgot: this series is set between Sailormoon R and
Sailormoon S.

	"Mamo-chan," Usagi replied softly as she smiled gently at him, "just

do

me

one favor."
	"Anything."
	"Stop worrying so much and SHAVE."

Chris:...
Crimson:...
C&C: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Lurker: That was my reaction, too. ^_^

	"Well, from what the others say, he's pretty unique."
	"'He'?"
	Mamoru shook his head and replied, "Sorry, I'm more tired then I

thought. 

I meant she."
	To himself he added, It's better if she doesn't know about THAT little
detail until she's in better shape.  *I* still don't completely

understand

it.

Crimson: It's quite simple.  The new Sailor Moon is an aquatransexual
martial artist.
Chris: Listen to yourself there.
Crimson: [beat]  Good point.

Lurker: <chuckle>

	Ranma hung up the phone and ran for the stairs, colliding with Akane

on

the way up.  They both fell down the stairs and as they sat up Akane
snapped, "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU IDIOT!"
	"Sorry Akane," Ranma said quickly, "I'm in a bit of a rush."
	As Ranma got up and bolted up the stairs, Akane blinked. Ranma
APOLOGIZED?!!

Chris: To quote my Chemistry teacher...
Crimson: "NOT BLOODLY LIKELY!"

Lurker: Bloody right, that...

	As the aquatranssexual martial artist left the dojo, Akane decided to

find

out what was going on, and followed him into the streets of Nerima.

Crimson: And the moment of the apocalypse drew closer...

Lurker: <shakes head> That's in...<realizes what he was about to say>
Kuso...nevermind...(Can we say, "shameless plug" anyone?)

	Ukyou raised an eyebrow and said, "Phone call?  Do you think..." the
okonomiyaki chef frowned.
	"What's Shampoo up to THIS time?" Akane groaned.
	"Someone say Shampoo name?"

Chris: Nice entrance.
Crimson: Worthy of Happosai.

Lurker: <wince>

[A short perverted old man appears in the theatre.]

Happosai: Did someone say my name?
Chris: [smacks his forehead]  Oh no...[brightens] HEY URD!!! Guess who's
here?

[Urd appears, spots Happosai, and growls.  She starts lobbing lighting
bolts at him.  Happosai makes a quick exit, chased by Urd.]

Crimson: Shouldn't you be helping her?
Chris: [shrug]  Last time Urd needed protecting from a pervert was that
time she visited Tomobiki.

Lurker: <snicker>

	Shampoo glared at them and snarled, "Shampoo do nothing.  Shampoo just
trying to follow husband.  Shampoo say hello before but husband ignore
Shampoo AND husband ignore gymnast girl when she appear."

Crimson: Nitpick here...shouldn't that be 'crazy flower girl'?

Lurker: Probably. Bug Flashman about it, he wrote it. <shrug>

	"That's weird," Akane muttered, "he at LEAST shudders when he hears

her

laugh."

Chris: Who doesn't?
Crimson: B-ko?
Chris: [considers that]  Ok...MAYBE her.

Lurker: <LOL>

	The great Blue Thunder dismissed the "hallucination" as the price of
spending so much 
time perfecting his Kendo skills and decided that NOW would be a good

time

for a much deserved rest.

Chris:...
Crimson:...
Chris: Kuno gave up on something?
Crimson: Someone check that snowball....

<Lurker peeks down into Hell. The snowball has doubled in size, and Old
Scratch looks like he's about to pop an artery>

	Kunou thought, "After awakening from my short slumber, I realized that

the

Pigtailed Girl must have accidently missed me and is now searching all

of

Japan for me.  I will not disappoint her."

Chris: Saw that coming?

[Both men put their hands up.]

C&C: I did.

Lurker: <snicker>

	"Compared to mine, anything you can come up with I can probably top. 

I'd

tell you a few of them, but I don't think someone in your condition

could

handle them."
	"Really?"
	"Yeah...." Ranko squirmed, "could we drop this subject?"

Crimson: You know, it is going to be SO much fun when Usagi hears about
this...
Chris: Ten bucks says she blames Ranma.
Crimson: No bet. EVERYONE blames Ranma.

Lurker: ^_^

	Ranko replied, "Yeah.  Who says you can never catch a bus in Tokyo."
	Usagi cleared her throat and gave Ranko a LOOK.  Ranko, realizing that

she

had, once again, performed the "Saotome Foot In Mouth Technique,"

quickly

added, "Errr... no offense."

C&C: Huh?
Chris: Missed joke alert.

Lurker: It's a reference to the very first episode of this series. <Lurker
pulls out a remote, and rewinds to the scene where Sailor Moon was crushed
by a bus the monster threw at her>

	Usagi, feeling overwhelmed by all that was happening at once, said the
only thing she could come up with.
	"Hi.  Are you friends of Ranko-chan?"

Chris: She's Kasumi's long lost sister?

[Crimson and Chris exchange a look.]

C&C: NAHHHHH...
Crimson: Some things are too horrible to consider...

Lurker: <evil snicker>

	"ExCUSE me," Usagi said. "Who're you to talk about odango anyway?

Yours

are bigger than mine!"
	"Shampoo everything bigger than odango girl."

Chris: Point for Shampoo!
Crimson: Betcha Usagi ages better...
Chris: Does anyone age better than Usagi?
Crimson: [absolutely serious] Rei.

Lurker: <rolls eyes>

	"S-sailor...senshi..." Akane gasped. Indeed, the famous Sailor Senshi,
minus their leader, stood before the bedridden girl. Tuxedo Kamen stood
beside Ranma, scowling.
	Ukyou blinked several times. "What're they doin' here?"
	"Protecting our friend, that's what," Mars snapped.
	"Whew...for a moment I thought it was another damn monster," Minako

said.

Chris: That should be Venus.
Crimson: She's not too far off though...
Chris: What, Akane cooked too?

Lurker: ACK! My bad! I wrote that scene. Lurker no baka...I'll fix it
before it goes off to RAAC.

	"Ranko, who are these people?" Ami asked.
	Ranma smirked. "They're an annoyance."

Chris: [wincing] Ouch....
Crimson: Ranma on the warpath.  Run and hide Nerima, you pissed him off.

Lurker: <grin>

	"Okay, I've had just about enough of you," Venus said. "VENUS LOVE-ME
CHAIN!" Although not as powerful as her new attack, surely this would
suffice against the girl in the leotard...
	Everyone was surprised when Kodachi's ribbon snaked out and tangled

itself

in the glowing chain. Even more surprising, the ribbon stopped it.

Venus

blinked.

Crimson: HOLD IT!  Time out!
Chris: What?
Crimson: There is no way, no how, NO WAY Kodachi's ribbon could stop the
chain.
Chris: It's a fanfiction.  Lurker can do whatever the hell he wants.
Crimson: [sulking] I still don't think it's likely.

Lurker: Well, that ribbon *is* woven with steel cable...I mean, I'm pretty
sure a katana could do damage to that chain, or at least block it...so the
ribbon should be able to as well. Besides, haven't you ever noticed that
Venus' chain has limits, and other uses besides attack? She probably didn't
even have it at full power.

	Jupiter scowled. "Okay, block this! SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!"
	Kodachi didn't have a chance against this attack, and was knocked

clear

into the hallway. A team of medtechs and doctors quickly gathered

around

her, investigating. A security guard stepped into the room, and

blinked.

Crimson: And THAT should have turned her into Crispy Kodachi bits...
Chris: Excuse me?  I don't think Makoto wanted to kill the girl.
Crimson: It would be an improvement.
Chris: When did you get so bloodthirsty?

Lurker: Hey, I agree. The world would be better off minus one Kodachi.
Still didn't make sense to have her die there, though.

	Ranma sighed. "Guys...I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I shoulda known
this would happen."
She turned to Usagi. "Usagi...are you okay?"
	Usagi nodded. She was sweating and pale, but seemed otherwise

unharmed.

"Yeah. Just kinda shocked. Who were all those people?"
	Ranma sighed. "That's a long story..."

Chris: 38 Volumes of manga, in fact.
Crimson: 7 seasons of TV.
Chris: More fanfiction that you can shake a stick at.
Crimson: Long story doesn't even come CLOSE.

Lurker: <LOL>

	Venus frowned. "How did that girl stop my chain?"

Chris: INCREDIBLE AUTHORLIKE POWERS!

Lurker: <demon head> I HAVE NO POWERS!!! <blinks> Oh, wait. Guess I do.
Damn.

	Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. I do know her ribbons are reinforced with
razor-sharp steel threads."

Chris: That would do...
Crimson: NO IT WOULDN'T, damnit!

Lurker: You sure about that? I think it would...

Chris: Happo-mph!
Crimson: [hand over Chris's mouth] Don't say that name! [beat] It would

be

funny to see him though.
Chris: Been done. Lines of Destiny.
Crimson: True, but Ranma's different in this one.
Chris: [evil grin] Good point.

Lurker: <snicker>

Chris: Anyway, good work Lurker, Flashman!

Thanks! BTW, to clarify who wrote what...I picked up at the scene where
Ranma got hostile with everyone. Flashman wrote everything else before
that. (Just giving him his dues.)

Crimson: An excellent crossover.  Easily on par with LoD, in my opinion.

Lurker: I wouldn't go that far. BSSR maybe...^_^

Crimson: Could be worse.
Chris: How?
Crimson: He could be Zen.

Lurker: You know, *I* am going to be the one who suffers for that
comment...

Chris: True. [Pause]  One thing though...if you make an Ami/Ryoga pairing

I

WILL hurt you.
Crimson: Good point.  Ami would go for Ranma.
Chris: EVERYONE goes for Ranma.
Crimson: Nah...I think Minako would like Mousse, and Makoto would dig
Ryoga.
Chris: [rubs his temples] I'm getting a headache.

Ryouga's not going to do much in this fic. Remember, he's kinda
possessed...

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Reunions and tearful farewells in Tokyo, and the
start of a dangerous trek to find the Escudo, as
the young defenders of Cephiro prepare for the
dangerous battle to come.
Jikai ni: Onna: Red Side, Chapter 20.
Don't miss it!

---
One Angel.
One Demon.
One Planet.
One Weapon.
Zero Hope.
-=FINAL IMPACT=-
Lurker's new crossover epic
Coming soon...
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
Kyouju, Shin Mugen-gakuen
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

---
The Eternal Lost Lurker can now be spotted roaming
around on AOL! ELstLurker@aol.com
---

Crack kills. Remember that next time you eat chili.

I like sword better. More personal weapon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------