I'm not an FFML-subscriber, so send comments to me at <nangke@juno.com>,
please. I'd also like suggestions for a better title - I can't seem to
think of one that's really appropriate.


"Zelgadis & Gourry"

(Zelgadis finds himself manacled and without his cape and shirt in a
poorly-lit basement. A quick glance at his feet, and he sees that his 
shoes are gone, too. Not only that, but the legs of his trousers indicate
that they must have - at least - been torn off. He tests his bonds, but 
finds he's unable to pull the chains from the cement. He relaxes, leaning

against the wall...)

Zelgadis: Damn. Don't tell me I'm in another self-insertion fan-fic. I
can just imagine the sort of commentary going about me being shirtless.

(He looks up balefully at a bare light bulb, the only source of light.)

Zel: The author doesn't care to comment? Fine. (scowls with fearsome
resolve) Do your worst.

Gourry: Oi, Zelgadis! What're you doing here?

Zel: (surprised) Gourry? What are you doing here? And what are you
wearing...?

(BTW, Gourry is decked out all in leather - jacket, boots, and pants
laced up at the sides (sorry, not the kind with his ass hanging out).
He's also sporting some hardware as jewelry accessories. He's also
carrying a picnic basket.)

Gourry: Hmm, I was wondering that, too. I've never worn stuff like this
before; all of it's too tight for me. Hey, but check this out... (he
lifts the lid of the picnic basket) It's full of lemons. Strange, huh?

Zel: O_O;; (thinks) BAD SIGN! NONONO!!!

Gourry: Oh, yeah! (reaches behind him) And I didn't forget this!

Zel: What...?

(Gourry unsheathes the Sword of Light.)

Zel: (speaking under his breath, barely audible) Without a doubt, a yaoi
fan-fic with Gourry. Damn, and the writer knows what the Sword of Light
can do to my body...

Gourry: Na, Zel? Just what can it do?

(Zel is having awful visions of an S&M Gourry wielding the Sword of
Light in ways that he wishes he wasn't thinking of. To his great
embarrassment, he's finding himself aroused. He can feel his blue stone 
skin blushing.)

Zel: (thinks) Maybe I can get him to do this... or that..?

Gourry: (interrupting his thoughts) BTW, Zel, where're the other
seventeen?

Zel: Seventeen?

Gourry: The Sword of Light is supposed to be the 18th sword. I was just
wondering where the others are supposed to be.

Zel: 18th sword?

Gourry: Yup. The 18th sword. (18-ken)

Zel: ......

(Realization dawns)

Zel: You mean "18-kin", don't you?

(Note: In Japan, the movie ratings systems is almost the same as here in
America. NC-17 is the equivalent of 18-kin, off by a year. And you know
what sort of movies get *that* rating. ^_-)

THE END.