[Scene opens on a darkened theatre.  In it sit a man in a T-shirt and
jeans, another in silver and red armor.  The lights come up and the second
is revealed to be Crimson, the first to be Christopher Angel, God of
Moments.]

Voice: It's time for.....C&C!!!!

Crimson: [Wincing] I wish your alter ego would get off that pun.

Chris: [shrug] Don't look at me, I'm just a figment of his imagination.

Voice: Shaddup. [muttered] Everyone's a critic.

[theatre lights drop]

Nibun no Senshi Sailormoon

A magical girl fanfic crossover series created by The Eternal Lost

Lurker.

Episode 5: Ill Met by Moonlight

C&C: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Screenplay by: Flashman
Edited and expanded by: The Eternal Lost Lurker

Chris: This should be entertaining.

	The sunlight of a new day poured into the hospital room, highlighting

the

young woman in traction and the man who slept in the chair beside her

bed. 

The five o' clock shadow on the man's face bore silent testament to how
long he had remained by his true love's side.

Crimson: *sigh*
Chris: Getting a little mushy there...aren't you?
Crimson: Just thinking of what I'd do if Rei was like that.
Chris: [thought] The words 'homicidal rampage' come to mind.

	As the light poured over the girl's face, her eyes squeezed tightly and
she groaned.

Chris: There's somethign about this image...
Crimson: Yeah, I keep on picturing this pitcher of light, and someone
pouring it on her face.
[Two statues appear above the critic's heads and land on them.]
Voice: Idiots.

	While the sound had been too soft for the man to hear, a sixth sense

told

him to wake up and look beside him.  What he saw looking back was a

certain

pair of blue eyes that he thought would never look at him again. 

"USAKO,"

he cried for joy as he knelt down towards her face.
	"Mamo-chan..." Usagi managed to croak out before a fit of coughing shook
her frame.
	"Usako," Mamoru repeated as tears trickled down his face, "I'm sorry...

if

I had gotten to you a little sooner... I just got you back, I didn't want
to lose you again."

Crimson: Where does this occur?  Right after the bit with the Moonlight
Knight?
Chris: Or after Stars?
Crimson: Not that it matters, His Majesty seemed to be the bad guys
favorite target.  [beat] Next to Naru, that is.

	"Mamo-chan," Usagi replied softly as she smiled gently at him, "just do

me

one favor."
	"Anything."
	"Stop worrying so much and SHAVE."

Chris:...
Crimson:...
C&C: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

	Mamoru stared at her in disbelief as Usagi started to laugh but she
stopped as the laughter proved to be too painful for her abused ribs.  At
her grimace, Mamoru picked up a nearby glass of water and said, "Here. 
Drink this."
	Usagi lifter her head slightly so Mamoru could bring the glass to her

lips

and she gulped down the clear, cool liquid as quickly as she could.  Once
she was done, she looked up at her boyfriend and said, "Mamo-chan..."
	"Yes?"
	"When I was first injured... I was pretty out of it, but I kind of
remember being Princess Serenity for a bit... and something about giving
away my Sailor Moon powers..."
	"Yes," Mamoru replied, "until you get better there's a new Sailor Moon."
	"What's she like?"
	"Well, from what the others say, he's pretty unique."
	"'He'?"
	Mamoru shook his head and replied, "Sorry, I'm more tired then I

thought. 

I meant she."
	To himself he added, It's better if she doesn't know about THAT little
detail until she's in better shape.  *I* still don't completely

understand

it.

Crimson: It's quite simple.  The new Sailor Moon is an aquatransexual
martial artist.
Chris: Listen to yourself there.
Crimson: [beat]  Good point.

	Usagi looked up at him and asked, "Do you think it would be okay if I

met

her?"
	Mamoru stood and as he headed for the door, he said, "Sure.  I'll go
contact the others and see if they can get her."

*****

	Kasumi walked towards the back door and called out to where Ranma and
Genma were having their morning sparring session, "Ranma-kun, phone for
you."
	"Who is it?" Ranma called back without taking his attention off his
father.
	"I don't know, but they told me to say 'Luna sent me.'"
	Ranma froze. "Sorry Pop, gotta cut training short today." He jumped on

top

of his father's head and sprung from there to the veranda.
	As Genma fell into the koi pond, Ranma ran off to where Kasumi had left
the phone off the hook for him.  With all the female traffic that came to
the Tendo Dojo, compounded by the fact that Ranma didn't have a
communicator yet, it had been decided that if they needed Ranma for

Sailor

business, they would call the Tendo Dojo and say "Luna sent me."  This

idea

had been suggested by Minako and after everyone had looked at her funny,
they realized that, until such time as they could get him a communicator,
it would work as well as anything.
	Ranma scooped up the receiver. "Hello?  What?  She does? Okay, I'll be
there as soon as possible."
	Ranma hung up the phone and ran for the stairs, colliding with Akane on
the way up.  They both fell down the stairs and as they sat up Akane
snapped, "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU IDIOT!"
	"Sorry Akane," Ranma said quickly, "I'm in a bit of a rush."
	As Ranma got up and bolted up the stairs, Akane blinked. Ranma
APOLOGIZED?!!

Chris: To quote my Chemistry teacher...
Crimson: "NOT BLOODLY LIKELY!"

	In the bowels of Hell, Satan roared at the little white ball that was

the

source of his frustration.  No matter how much heat he used on it, the
snowball refused to melt.

Crimson: HEY! That's our line!

	Akane was even more confused as she saw onna-Ranma bolt back down the
stairs, P-chan in her hands.  "HEY," Akane yelled, "where are you GOING?!

And you're not picking on P-chan again, are you?!"
	"No," Ranma replied, "it's just that we have somewhere to be right now. 
Bye."
	As the aquatranssexual martial artist left the dojo, Akane decided to

find

out what was going on, and followed him into the streets of Nerima.

Crimson: And the moment of the apocalypse drew closer...

	Ranma paused as they reached a flower shop.  "Hold up for a second
Charon," she said.
	"What is it?" the possessed pig asked.
	"Nothing really.  I just hear that it's polite to bring flowers when
visiting someone in the hospital."
	In the combined mind that Charon and Ryoga shared, Ryoga muttered,

<Since

when have YOU been polite, Ranma?>

Chris:  Another snowball scene?
Crimson: Damn straight.

	Akane caught her breath as she leaned against the building, which just
happened to be Ucchan's Okonomiyaki-ya.  Ukyou looked out the door to
regard her rival fiancee.  She had been preparing to open the restaurant
but the presence of Akane usually meant that Ranchan was close by.  "Hey
Akane," she said in greeting, "what's up?"
	"Don't know," Akane replied, "Ranma got a phone call this morning and

now

he's just run off with P-chan.  I was following him and I was just

catching

my breath."
	Ukyou raised an eyebrow and said, "Phone call?  Do you think..." the
okonomiyaki chef frowned.
	"What's Shampoo up to THIS time?" Akane groaned.
	"Someone say Shampoo name?"

Chris: Nice entrance.
Crimson: Worthy of Happosai.

[A short perverted old man appears in the theatre.]

Happosai: Did someone say my name?
Chris: [smacks his forehead]  Oh no...[brightens] HEY URD!!! Guess who's
here?

[Urd appears, spots Happosai, and growls.  She starts lobbing lighting
bolts at him.  Happosai makes a quick exit, chased by Urd.]

Crimson: Shouldn't you be helping her?
Chris: [shrug]  Last time Urd needed protecting from a pervert was that
time she visited Tomobiki.

	The two girls looked up and moved out of the way as the bike that the
Chinese Amazon rode dropped down between them.  As the two fiances looked
at the third rival for Ranma, they asked 
simultaneously, "What have you done to Ranma this time?!"
	Shampoo glared at them and snarled, "Shampoo do nothing.  Shampoo just
trying to follow husband.  Shampoo say hello before but husband ignore
Shampoo AND husband ignore gymnast girl when she appear."

Crimson: Nitpick here...shouldn't that be 'crazy flower girl'?

	"That's weird," Akane muttered, "he at LEAST shudders when he hears her
laugh."

Chris: Who doesn't?
Crimson: B-ko?
Chris: [considers that]  Ok...MAYBE her.

	Ukyou noticed something out of the corner of her eye and when she

turned,

she saw Ranma walking out of a flower shop with a bunch of lilies and
lilacs in her hands.  "Hey Ranchan," Ukyou called out, "where are you

going

and what are the flowers for?"
	To her surprise, Ranma completely ignored her and ran down the street,
P-chan following her.  "Where is he GOING?!" Akane growled in

frustration.

	"Let's find out," Ukyou suggested as she hung the "closed" sign on her
door.
	"Aiyah," Shampoo shouted as they began to move off in pursuit, "Shampoo
come too!"

*****

	Tatewaki Kunou looked up as he walked down the streets of Nerima. What

he

saw made his heart beat faster.  His red-haired love raced down the

street

toward him, a bundle of beautiful 
flowers in her arms.  "Ah Pigtailed Girl," he cried as he threw open his
arms, "it gives my heart such joy that you have finally decided to bestow
your affections on me.  YES, I SHALL DA...."
	Kunou's rant was cut off as Ranma jumped up, stepped on Kunou's face and
leaped off.  As the Pigtailed Girl jumped away, Kunou thought he heard

her

muttering, "What should I say to her? 
 Hi!  I'm Ranko, your replacement.  Nah, too mean."
	Of course, he also thought he heard the small pig following her say,
"RANMA!  WAIT FOR ME!!!"
	The great Blue Thunder dismissed the "hallucination" as the price of
spending so much 
time perfecting his Kendo skills and decided that NOW would be a good

time

for a much deserved rest.

Chris:...
Crimson:...
Chris: Kuno gave up on something?
Crimson: Someone check that snowball....

*****

	The bus ride to Juuban had been uneventful, except that at a stop in
Nerima, the bus driver could have sworn that he had heard three loud

bangs

on the roof.  Ranma and Charon got off at the appropriate stop and, with
their three tails at an appropriate distance, they moved 
for the hospital.  However, the three girls following Ranma didn't

realize

that they were being followed as well.
	"What has that fiend Ranma done to my darling Shampoo to make her

journey

with him to this district," Mousse wondered.
	Kodachi's thoughts were along the lines of, "That little witch has
something planned to keep my darling Ranma-sama away from me.  I will not
allow it."
	Kunou thought, "After awakening from my short slumber, I realized that

the

Pigtailed Girl must have accidently missed me and is now searching all of
Japan for me.  I will not disappoint her."

Chris: Saw that coming?

[Both men put their hands up.]

C&C: I did.

*****

	Ranma took a deep breath as she prepared to open the door.  "Well," she
thought, "here goes.  I'm about to meet what many consider a living

legend.

 The original Sailor Moon."
	She walked in the room to see the four other Senshi gathered around the
bed, along with a man with black hair, who leaned in periodically and
kissed the girl on the bed on the forehead.  "That must be the Mamoru guy
they told me about," Ranko noted. "Poor guy.  He must feel 
really bad about what happened."
	She cleared her throat and the other Senshi turned to regard her. 

"Hello

Ranm... I mean Ranko," Minako said in greeting.
	"Hi.  Ami called me and said 'she' wanted to see me," Ranko replied.
	"Go ahead," Makoto whispered, "but be quick, she still needs a lot of
rest."
	"Right."
	Ranko approached the bed and sat down in a chair.  Usagi looked up at

her

and as their eyes met, for a brief moment, the crescent moon sigil flared
brightly on both of their foreheads.  "So you're the one," Usagi said,
stating the obvious.
	"Yep," Ranko replied, "my name's Ranko."
	"I'm Usagi.  Nice to meet you Ranko-chan."
	"I'd shake your hand, but under the circumstances..."
	Everyone in the room chuckled softly and Ranko, remembering her manners,
held out the bouquet of flowers.  "Um, here.  These are for you."
	Usagi smiled as brightly as she could without making her head hurt,

which

wasn't as much as she usually could and replied, "Thank you Ranko-chan. 
Mamo-chan, could you put them in the vase over there?"
	"Of course Usako," Mamoru replied as he took the flowers from Ranko.
	Usagi looked at the others and said, "Could you all leave me with
Ranko-chan for a little bit?"
	Ami, Minako, Makoto and Rei all took their leave but Mamoru paused for a
bit to give a lingering kiss to Usagi on the lips before he left as well.

"Some people have all the luck," Ranko muttered under her breath.
	"Did you say something?" Usagi asked.
	"Nothin' important," Ranko replied, "I was just commenting on how lucky
you are to have such a simple love life."
	Ranko was caught off guard as Usagi started to laugh but the blonde
stopped as her ribs once again warned her against such actions.  "Trust
me," Usagi said once the pain died down to its constant drone instead of

a

piercing scream, "it's not as simple as you think."
	"Compared to mine, anything you can come up with I can probably top. 

I'd

tell you a few of them, but I don't think someone in your condition could
handle them."
	"Really?"
	"Yeah...." Ranko squirmed, "could we drop this subject?"

Crimson: You know, it is going to be SO much fun when Usagi hears about
this...
Chris: Ten bucks says she blames Ranma.
Crimson: No bet. EVERYONE blames Ranma.

	Usagi smiled, "Sure."
	Silence filled the room as Usagi tried to think up her next question. 
Finally, as she strove to come up with something better, she said, "You

got

here pretty quick."
	Ranko replied, "Yeah.  Who says you can never catch a bus in Tokyo."
	Usagi cleared her throat and gave Ranko a LOOK.  Ranko, realizing that

she

had, once again, performed the "Saotome Foot In Mouth Technique," quickly
added, "Errr... no offense."

C&C: Huh?
Chris: Missed joke alert.

	Usagi's face suddenly brightened again and she replied, "None taken."
	The hospitalized girl sighed and she said, "To think of all the times I
wanted to have someone else be Sailor Moon.... if I had known that THIS

is

what it would take, I never would have wanted to."
	Ranko laughed and thought, "Nice kid."
	Usagi said, "You're a nice girl Ranko.  Do you want to be friends?"
	Usagi was surprised when Ranko grimaced.  It took a minute, but finally
Ranko replied, "Okay."
	Inwardly, Ranma sighed, "Oh well.  I guess it could be worse."
	Then, things got worse.

Chris: To put it mildly....

	Akane and Ukyou walked in the door.  The two looked at her, then at the
figure on the bed and they asked simultaneously, "What's going on here?"
	As if those words had set off a chain reaction, everything fell apart at
once.  The wall crashed in and a cheerful, "NIHAO!" echoed through the

room

as Shampoo bounced in.
	Kunou followed through the hole and shouted, "Pigtailed Girl!  I know

not

what malady has forced thee to this place of healing, but I Tatewaki

Kunou,

shall be by your side!"
	A chilling laugh came in Kunou's wake and Kodachi came through the hole
next as she said, "So, you wicked harridans!  You think you can counter

my

poisons in this place?  I think not!  

HOHOHHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"
	Next came Mousse. "SAOTOME!  PREPARE TO DIE!!!"
	Usagi, feeling overwhelmed by all that was happening at once, said the
only thing she could come up with.
	"Hi.  Are you friends of Ranko-chan?"

Chris: She's Kasumi's long lost sister?

[Crimson and Chris exchange a look.]

C&C: NAHHHHH...
Crimson: Some things are too horrible to consider...

*****

	Ranma groaned. "Aw jeez. What the hell are you guys doin' here?"
	"RANMA!" Akane yelled. She was glowing that unhealthy shade of blue she
was often wont to do. "Explain yourself! Who's this girl? Another

fiancee?"

	"You got some talkin' to do, Ranchan."
	"Ranma surely no run off to weak odango girl who look like got smashed

by

bus," Shampoo said. At this, Ranma winced, and Usagi growled as much as

she

was capable of.
	"ExCUSE me," Usagi said. "Who're you to talk about odango anyway? Yours
are bigger than mine!"
	"Shampoo everything bigger than odango girl."

Chris: Point for Shampoo!
Crimson: Betcha Usagi ages better...
Chris: Does anyone age better than Usagi?
Crimson: [absolutely serious] Rei.

	Ranma rubbed his forehead. This was getting ridiculous. As the rabid
proclamations of the unruly group of martial artists began to rise in
volume, she looked up, and shouted, "ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!!!"
	Everyone in the room froze, and stared at Ranma.

Crimson: Sheesh....Today's been a day for strangeness...

	Ranma stepped towards them. "You are all the most pathetic bunch of

people

in the entire world! This is a goddamn HOSPITAL for crying out loud!

Don't

you have any respect for sick people at all?"
	"R...Ranma?" Akane asked.
	"Shut up. I don't want to hear it. I just came here to visit a friend

who

was in a terrible accident, to wish her well and pay my respects, and you
come charging in here like a pack of rabid jackals! You're all insane!

Get

out of here, right now!"
	Most of the group appeared chastised, if somewhat angry. Kodachi looked
bored, if nothing else. 
	At this point, if all hell had not already broken loose, it would have
done so. The doors to the room burst open yet again, admitting five more
figures. The martial artists were stunned as the new arrivals leapt over
them, and landed along the bedside, forming a wall between the intruding
flock and Usagi's bed.
	Half of the unruly little mob paled, gaping in shock.
	"S-sailor...senshi..." Akane gasped. Indeed, the famous Sailor Senshi,
minus their leader, stood before the bedridden girl. Tuxedo Kamen stood
beside Ranma, scowling.
	Ukyou blinked several times. "What're they doin' here?"
	"Protecting our friend, that's what," Mars snapped.
	"Whew...for a moment I thought it was another damn monster," Minako

said.

Chris: That should be Venus.
Crimson: She's not too far off though...
Chris: What, Akane cooked too?

	"Ranko, who are these people?" Ami asked.
	Ranma smirked. "They're an annoyance."

Chris: [wincing] Ouch....
Crimson: Ranma on the warpath.  Run and hide Nerima, you pissed him off.

	Everyone in the group, except Kodachi and Mousse, blanched. "What are

you

saying, Ranchan?"
	"Aiyah! Ranma no mean that?"
	"Pigtailed girl...forgive me, but...are such harsh words truly
neccessary?"
	Ranma scowled. "You bet, Kunou. Now are you jerks gonna get the hell out
of here, or do I let these guys bounce you the hard way?"
	"OHOHOHOHOHO!" Kodachi laughed. "Your slut friends do not scare the

likes

of the Black Rose!"
	Kunou stared at her incredulously. "Sister, surely though your mind is
warped and diseased, you cannot be serious! These are the legendary
defenders of Tokyo, the Sailor Senshi! Not even I, the mighty Blue

Thunder

could hope to stand against them!"
	"These miniskirt-wearing tarts? I think not, brother dear."
	"Okay, I've had just about enough of you," Venus said. "VENUS LOVE-ME
CHAIN!" Although not as powerful as her new attack, surely this would
suffice against the girl in the leotard...
	Everyone was surprised when Kodachi's ribbon snaked out and tangled

itself

in the glowing chain. Even more surprising, the ribbon stopped it. Venus
blinked.

Crimson: HOLD IT!  Time out!
Chris: What?
Crimson: There is no way, no how, NO WAY Kodachi's ribbon could stop the
chain.
Chris: It's a fanfiction.  Lurker can do whatever the hell he wants.
Crimson: [sulking] I still don't think it's likely.

	Jupiter scowled. "Okay, block this! SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!"
	Kodachi didn't have a chance against this attack, and was knocked clear
into the hallway. A team of medtechs and doctors quickly gathered around
her, investigating. A security guard stepped into the room, and blinked.

Crimson: And THAT should have turned her into Crispy Kodachi bits...
Chris: Excuse me?  I don't think Makoto wanted to kill the girl.
Crimson: It would be an improvement.
Chris: When did you get so bloodthirsty?

	Ranma said, "I think it's best if you guys get out of here, now."
	The remainder of the group decided that this was sound advice, and made

a

hasty exit. 

	Ranma sighed. "Guys...I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I shoulda known
this would happen."
She turned to Usagi. "Usagi...are you okay?"
	Usagi nodded. She was sweating and pale, but seemed otherwise unharmed.
"Yeah. Just kinda shocked. Who were all those people?"
	Ranma sighed. "That's a long story..."

Chris: 38 Volumes of manga, in fact.
Crimson: 7 seasons of TV.
Chris: More fanfiction that you can shake a stick at.
Crimson: Long story doesn't even come CLOSE.

	Venus frowned. "How did that girl stop my chain?"

Chris: INCREDIBLE AUTHORLIKE POWERS!

	Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. I do know her ribbons are reinforced with
razor-sharp steel threads."

Chris: That would do...
Crimson: NO IT WOULDN'T, damnit!

	Everyone blinked, and decided not to ask any more questions.
	"I'll tell you guys all about it later," Ranma said. "But first, I think

I

need to get out of here. There's no tellin' who or what's gonna show up
next lookin' for me if I don't make myself scarce." With that, she bowed
once to Usagi, and leapt out of the window. 

Chris: Happo-mph!
Crimson: [hand over Chris's mouth] Don't say that name! [beat] It would be
funny to see him though.
Chris: Been done. Lines of Destiny.
Crimson: True, but Ranma's different in this one.
Chris: [evil grin] Good point.

[Theatre lights come up.]

Chris: Anyway, good work Lurker, Flashman!
Crimson: An excellent crossover.  Easily on par with LoD, in my opinion.
Chris: Now if he would just write faster...
Crimson: Could be worse.
Chris: How?
Crimson: He could be Zen.
Chris: True. [Pause]  One thing though...if you make an Ami/Ryoga pairing I
WILL hurt you.
Crimson: Good point.  Ami would go for Ranma.
Chris: EVERYONE goes for Ranma.
Crimson: Nah...I think Minako would like Mousse, and Makoto would dig
Ryoga.
Chris: [rubs his temples] I'm getting a headache.

--
Christopher Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
"Some will say you're safer here,
 Never mind them - be a pioneer!"