Nabiki's room was her sanctuary. The war rooms and
council halls of the world's leading nations had not seen
the birth of as many plans as Nabiki's room had. Some of
the greatest schemes in history had been conceived within
its four walls.
Today, she lay stretched out on her bed, contemplating
her latest and greatest challenge. So many angles. So many
potentially lethal pitfalls.
She was having the time of her life.
It was a very interesting game of pick-up sticks. One
wrong move and the entire structure would come tumbling
down. Figuratively speaking, that is.
Downstairs a door slammed, and her younger sister's
angelic voice ripped through the house. "YOU ARE *SUCH* A
JERK!"
"Aw c'mon Akane, I didn't do nothin'." was the answer.
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, RANMA!"
For a moment there was silence, and then Ranma's voice
also rose, more hurt than angry, but trying to hide it with
greater volume. "FINE!"
Nabiki could hear him stomping off towards the dojo to
work out his frustration. She wondered what had gone wrong.
Not that she couldn't have made a few good guesses.
As she continued to listen from the safety of her bed,
she heard Akane moving as well. Her footsteps were quiet as
she went into the kitchen. Without opening the squeaky
refrigerator or any of the cupboards, she turned back around
and walked through all of the bottom floor. _Sorry little
sis. Kasumi's not home._ Nabiki thought as she continued to
listen. When Akane didn't find what, or rather who, she was
looking for, she walked slowly up the stairs, opened the
door to Kasumi's room, closed it again, and then looked in
every other room upstairs before finally coming to knock on
Nabiki's door.
"Come in."
Akane had calmed down considerably since coming in the
house. She looked almost meek as she came in and sat down
on the bed next to her older sister. "Nabiki, can I talk to
you?"
Nabiki smiled. "What is it?"
"It's Ranma." she said with a grimace.
The smile broadened. "What about him?"
Swinging her feet as much as the bed allowed her to,
and paying very close attention to her fingernails, Akane
tried to explain herself. "He's just been acting so...
weird."
"Weird how?"
The foot swinging sped up a little. It was accompanied
by a slight blush. "Sometimes it's just... I mean he's
just so... " she sighed. "He's been acting so weird."
"You said that."
Akane growled a little, more frustrated than angry.
How to say it? Her feet sped up again until Nabiki could
hear them tapping against the frame through the bedding.
Any harder and she might damage something. "I don't know.
It's just that sometimes he's so... so... *nice* lately."
"And that's a problem?"
Still blushing, Akane thought about that. "No!" She
gestured violently with her hands as if that would enlighten
her sister to what she meant. "It's just so... weird."
Grinning on only one side of her face, Nabiki regarded
her. She couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to
move things along. She wondered whether it would be better
to encourage her to really think about her own feelings, or
just subtly guide her toward an outburst. She had an evil
thought. Putting on her best serious face, she made her
move. "So when you say 'nice' what do you mean exactly. Is
he buying you flowers or jewelry?"
"No."
"Has he offered to carry your books or confessed his
undying love?"
"No."
"Has he recited poetry, sent you love letters, or held
your hand?"
Akane went into hyperblush mode, gritted her teeth, and
stopped swinging her feet in favor of studying her slippers
as if expecting to find some new kind of life form growing
on them.
To say that Nabiki was startled would have been an
understatement. She stared at Akane in unbelief. "He *did*
didn't he?!"
It took Akane a few moments, but she managed to nod
once.
_Way to go Ranma! I didn't think he had it in him._
"What happened? I want details."
After a few minutes of deep breathing, Akane was able
to explain the events of that morning on the way to school.
She was a little irritated by the smug look on Nabiki's
face, but didn't show it. She had a lot on her mind.
"That sounds nice." Supplied Nabiki helpfully. "So
what happened when you got to school?"
Akane fidgeted. "I'm not sure. Someone called to me,
and I'm not sure if I dropped his hand or if he dropped
mine, but all of a sudden I was really embarrassed. I don't
think anyone from school saw, though." She sighed again.
"I was pretty... okay with it, but then he was flirting with
Ukyou in class, and I got mad. You know how he's *such* a
pervert. Then after school, she came up to him and he was
being way too nice to her again. *Honestly*! It makes me
so mad the way he keeps all those girls around all the
time."
_Oh yes. I'm sure he was all over her._ "So you got
mad at him?"
"Yes!" Akane shouted as if outraged that Nabiki could
doubt that fact for a second. "The stupid pervert! And
after what he did this morning... I ought to..."
She made a wringing motion with her hands and scrunched
up her face.
"So are you mad because he held your hand this morning,
or are you mad because he's still on speaking terms with
Ukyou?"
"Neither. I just..."
Nabiki waited.
"I just don't see why he can't make up his mind."
"Have you made up your mind?"
"Because if he'd just make up his mind, then I could...
What did you say?"
Nabiki smiled, then sat up next to her sister on the
bed. "Have you..." She pointed to Akane. "made up..."
She was making an important point and exaggerated the fact
by speaking very slowly. "your mind?"
"About Ranma?"
"Yes."
Trembling, Akane closed her eyes. *Had* she made up her
mind?
Not really expecting an answer, Nabiki gave her sister
a few moments, then said "You know, you've got to give Ranma
a little credit. He's got no shortage of possible female
companions, but have you ever seen him *really* come on to
any other girl? Has he ever held anyone *else's* hand? He
could have taken advantage of his situation with Shampoo, or
with Ukyou. He probably could have done a lot worse."
She paused for effect. She knew that her next
observation would make Akane angry, but it was a truth that
needed to be spoken. "You", she said solemnly "are too hard
on him."
Akane fumed. How dare Nabiki suggest such a thing.
"How can you side with that pervert?"
"I'm not siding with anyone. I'm just stating the
facts as I see them. Even though you've publicly denounced
Ranma as your fiance time and time again, he's still loyal
to you. Even though you call each other names, and you get
violent with him at the slightest provocation, he hasn't
tried to get out of his engagement to you for several months
now. And now, you say he held your hand on the way to
school." She slid a little closer to the still seething
Akane and put an arm around her shoulder. "Honestly, sis,
can't you see that he's trying to find out how you feel
about him? You complain that he's insensitive and then you
turn around and miss every signal that he sends your way.
You shouldn't ignore too many more of them, because he's
just not capable of sending out any bigger ones, and it may
be a long time before he gets the courage to hold your hand
again."
She turned Akane towards her and looked into her eyes.
"He may wait forever, but then again, he may not."
Her anger effectively melted, Akane stared back at her
older sister. "What should I do?" she asked, wide eyed and
a little frightened.
A lightbulb went on in Nabiki's head. A big one. She
almost didn't manage to suppress the evil grin that was
tugging at her lips.
She shrugged innocently. "I don't know."
Akane looked disappointed. "You don't have any ideas
at all?"
"None. If it was anyone else, I'd just tell them to go
and talk to him, try to let him know how they really felt,
but I don't think that's a good idea for you."
Stunned almost failed to describe the look on Akane's
face. "Why not?"
"Isn't it obvious, Akane?" Nabiki shook her head a
little, almost like she was disappointed that her sister
could be so dense. "When was the last time you talked
honestly about your feelings with *anybody*? You just don't
have the patience. Or the depth. I mean, have you even
admitted to *yourself* how you really feel about Ranma?
There's no *way* you'll be able to tell him the truth."
Glaring, Akane protested. "Yes I can! I can tell him
if I want to!"
"Nope. I'm sorry, sis, but I just don't think it's in
you."
"It is *too*! I'll tell him! Just you watch!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah."
Folding her arms across her chest, Nabiki looked
skeptically at her visitor. "I don't believe it." she said.
"I'll bet you can't even tell me. I'll bet you five hundred
yen that you can't tell me the truth right now."
Akane blinked. Then she blinked again.
"Okay." she whispered weakly.
Nabiki waited.
Swallowing, Akane crossed and uncrossed her legs. She
looked at her palms, then wiped them on her uniform skirt.
She cleaned some dirt from under her fingernail.
"Well?" Nabiki prompted.
"Well, the truth is that..."
"Yes?"
"I really... I really... don't... hate Ranma as much
as I say I do."
An arched eyebrow later, Nabiki said "And?"
"And... the truth is that I really kind of like him."
"And?"
"And... I hope that he'll hold my hand again sometime."
"Because?"
"Because it feels really good."
"Because?"
"Because... I... really..."
Akane's voice trailed off. When it didn't trail back
on again, Nabiki decided to send out a Boy Scout to find it
and get it *back* to the trail.
"I knew it." she smirked. "Hand over the money."
Anger and frustration crinkled Akane's face. Her fists
clenched and she turned bright red.
"I LOVE HIM!!! ALRIGHT?!?!? I'M CRAZY ABOUT HIM!!!
IT MAKES ME *INSANE* WHEN ANOTHER GIRL GETS CLOSE TO HIM!!!
I *HATE* IT WHEN HE'S AROUND UKYOU OR SHAMPOO BECAUSE *THEY*
CAN TELL HIM THE TRUTH AND I *CAN'T!!! IT MAKES ME WANT TO
SCREAM!!!"
Nabiki leaned back. The strength of Akane's pent up
emotions surprising her. She smiled, flabbergasted.
_I'll put this on your tab, Ranma._ she thought. Then
she pulled some money out of her pocket and handed it to
Akane who stared at it as if she didn't know what it was.
"Okay sis, you win." She stood and pointed towards the
door. "Now go tell *him* that."
It took Akane a few moments to recover. She stared at
Nabiki, then shook her head, confused. She stood up slowly
and made her way to the door.
"Oh, and Akane?"
"Hmm?"
"Try not to get angry at him. Okay?"
Nodding, Akane walked out into the hall, still a little
dazed, and went to her room to think and to change her
clothes.
##################
Ch. 5
Saying the words
"I'm here, Nabiki-san." Mousse panted, recovering from
the dead run that had brought him here.
"You got the time off work?"
"I'm only part time. Remember?"
Nabiki nodded. She looked around to make sure that
they were alone. "Okay. Ranma is in the dojo. Akane will
be joining him there in moments. If all goes well, they're
going to have a nice little heart to heart. We have to make
sure that they're not interrupted." She pointed to the back
yard. "I'm going to make sure that no one goes in through
the door. It's your job to make sure that no one goes in
through the walls. You go around to the back."
Nodding, Mousse turned to go.
"And make sure Akane doesn't see you."
***
The remains of the heavy duty punching bag that her
father had hung only a week ago were the first things that
Akane noticed as she walked into the dojo. Sand and ragged
pieces of thick black vinyl lay on the floor below the
lonely looking chain. Someone had really done a number on
it. Someone with a lot of adrenaline.
His eyes closed tightly and his muscles tense, Ranma
sat in a corner in a meditation position. The expression on
his sweat-covered face made Akane doubt that he had been
able to clear his mind. She sighed and walked over to him.
"Ranma."
There was no answer.
"Ranma?"
He still didn't answer. In fact, there was no change
at all. He didn't even breathe differently. Something was
definitely on his mind.
Guilt washed over Akane. She closed her eyes and tried
to calm her pounding heart. He'd deserved it, hadn't he.
Ukyou had *hugged* him. She'd been right to be angry at him
for that. Hadn't she?
Hadn't she?
She knelt next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Ranma?" she said quietly.
Ranma's eyes opened as his mind pulled reluctantly away
from the thoughts he'd been thinking. He turned slowly to
look at her. He blinked, his eyes taking longer to focus
than usual. It was Akane. Was it his imagination or did
she look worried. And why was she wearing her gi at this
time of day?
She smiled nervously.
_I'm imagining things._ Ranma thought. _My mind is
going._
"Hey." Akane said. "Aren't we going to train?"
Ranma blinkblinked. "What?" he said intelligently.
"Training." she said. "We were going to spar.
Remember?"
"Umm... Right." His eyes closed again as he tried to
gather his wits and stuff them back into his head. He
wanted to talk to her, so he was going to need them.
"We need to talk." said Akane, and she sat down next to
him.
His wits jumped back out of his head and scattered on
the floor. He looked at her and blinked again. "Okay."
There was silence for a few moments. Ranma stared at
Akane and Akane stared at the floor.
_She's the one who said she wanted to talk._ he thought
in irritation. Then he realized that wasn't really fair.
_I wanted to talk to her too._ He reminded himself.
"Akane... I'm..." he put a hand on her shoulder.
"sorry."
Looking up at him in wonder, Akane turned. "Sorry for
what?" she asked quietly.
"Sorry..." Ranma closed his eyes. "for..." every muscle
in his body tensed as if he expected to be hit
"whateverIdidthatmadeyoumad!"
The silence returned and brought friends.
When no blows or angry words came his way, Ranma slowly
relaxed and opened his eyes. Akane was looking at him
strangely. "Oh." she said.
After a moment, she turned putting her back against the
wall and stared towards the center of the dojo. Where were
all the words that she'd planned to say? What had happened
to all those important things that she needed to tell him?
She was very confused.
_What's the matter Akane?_ a nasty voice somewhere in
her mind taunted. It sounded suspiciously like Nabiki. _I
knew you didn't have the patience or the depth. I knew
you'd never be able to tell him the truth._
Anger began to build in Akane. She wasn't sure exactly
what she was mad about or why, but she was mad. She just
knew that something was going wrong, and she didn't seem to
have the power to stop it. She was about to explode, to
pick a convenient target and start attacking, when something
stopped her.
_"Oh, and Akane? Try not to get angry at him. Okay?"_
It was still Nabiki's voice, but it was different this time.
It wasn't nasty or condescending, but soft, and sincere.
That's what she'd said after their discussion. How had she
known to say that?
Was this how she always behaved?
With a sinking certainty, she realized that it was.
Nabiki had been right about a lot of things. Most
importantly, now that the pattern of love to nervousness to
fear to anger had become clear in her own mind, she knew
that she really had been too hard on Ranma. Nabiki was
certainly right about that. Too hard in so many ways.
_She's sure been quiet for a long time._ thought Ranma.
He looked at her and noticed how tight her face was. _Uh-oh.
I hope she's not still mad at me._
He wondered what else he could say to appease her anger
if it surfaced again. When he couldn't think of anything,
panic began to rise.
And then, something changed. Her expression softened
to sadness, and then to something that on anyone else might
have been regret. Even guilt.
This was quickly replaced by a more familiar
expression; determination. After a second or two of
deliberating, she made her decision. _If he can do it, so
can I._ In a rapid gesture, she grabbed Ranma's hand,
pulled it into her lap and held it tightly.
Ranma's wits (which he had just succeeded in collecting
again) decided that they'd had enough and left for a nice
relaxing vacation.
She grit her teeth for a moment, willing the words to
come back to her. Perhaps a few warm-up confessions would
help. She'd waited too long already. There had been so
many times when one or the other of them had almost given up
for good. By simple laws of averages, things couldn't stay
the way they'd been forever.
She had to tell him now. If she didn't, who knew what
would happen? Today in her sister's room, she'd said the
word out loud to herself for the first time. She'd finally
called it what it was. She'd called it love.
And if she didn't say it to Ranma now, she might never
get another chance.
"I'm... I'm sorry too Ranma." she said.
Ranma sighed. There they were again. Those feelings.
"Oh. Well... it's okay Akane." He smiled a little,
wondering what he could say next. "I know that I... that
I'm a jerk sometimes."
Akane's eyes closed. "Yes." she said. "And
sometimes..." she put her other hand on his cheek.
"Sometimes you're very sweet."
_Wow._ Though Ranma. Then he realized (to his horror)
that he was grinning like a maniac. At the same time, he
found himself completely incapable of any speech. Akane
seemed to sense this, and took it as a sign that it was her
turn to do the talking.
"It's really hard for me. I mean, boys. No boys have
ever treated me like a real person before." She looked down
again, and traced a line on his hand with one finger. "I
don't know why they all liked me, but they never just talked
to me or asked me out. They were always too scared, so they
just followed me around or tried to fight me." She looked
up into his eyes. "I always dreamed about being in love. I
thought it would have to be someone very mature. All the
guys my own age just acted so strangely."
Her eyes began to water a little. "I was lonely. All
I ever wanted was somebody who'd enjoy being with me without
being weird about it. Somebody who'd look at me and smile
once in a while like there was nothing in the world that
he'd rather see. Somebody that would watch out for me and
help me when I needed it. Someone that I could do the same
for. That's always been my idea of perfect love, but I've
been so scared. So scared that it wouldn't ever be like
that, I almost didn't see it. I almost didn't realize that
it was you. That everything I ever wanted, you've already
given me."
"Akane, I-"
"No. Let me finish." Akane's eyes closed, and she
gripped his hand a little tighter. "It was so much easier
to fight. To be angry and offended so that I wouldn't have
to admit that I'd treated you badly. I couldn't see beyond
my own fear that it'd be like all the other times and all
the other boys if you ever decided you liked me. It was so
much easier just to be that uncute tomboy. To push you away
so that it'd never turn into another Kuno or Gosenkugi
thing."
"You've tried so hard these last few months. At the
Weaver Festival, and this morning, and..." _Come on, Akane.
You've come this far._ "I've been really unfair to you.
That's how new all of this is to me. I was scared and
unsure. But I realize now that I'm not as afraid of being
honest with you as I am of losing you."
As she paused to gather her thoughts, Ranma slowly
pulled his hand out of hers, and put his arm around her
shoulder. She was openly weeping now, quietly and
copiously, the tracks of tears shining on her face. _She's
never been so beautiful._ he thought, wishing that he could
speak, to comfort or encourage her. His chest tightened
from seeing her like this and from thinking of the words
that now hung between them in the air. He pulled her to him
as he wondered which of them would be the first to say them
and if they'd be interrupted like they always seemed to be.
Her arm went around his waist and she clung to him
desperately, thinking similar thoughts.
For all her brave self talk and determination, Akane
now found herself tongue-tied. She reached for his free
hand again, and he gave it to her silently. They sat that
way for long moments.
Finally, Ranma spoke. "I aint so good at this stuff
either." he said. "Whaddo I know about girls? Nothin'.
But I know that I... I know that I care very deeply for
you. I know that I want you to be happy. I don't know if
*I* can make you happy, but I'd like to try... if you'll let
me. But you have to trust me, Akane. Can you do that? Can
you trust me?"
Akane looked up at him and smiled. She didn't know how
many times she'd dreamed of a moment like this. All she
could do was nod and hold him closer. She saw the tender
look on his face and tried to memorize it, thinking briefly
that the memory could easily keep her warm for a thousand
winter's nights. For now, though, it gave her the final
push she needed. The words came to her, not like a clap of
thunder, but like a soft breeze.
"I love you Ranma."
"Oh Akane." he whispered, and pulled her head down into
his chest so that she wouldn't see if he started to cry. "I
love you too.
***
Floating a foot or two above the ground, Ranma made his
way to his room. He wanted a few minutes alone think about
what had happened.
Fate had other ideas, and so did Nabiki.
"So, how'd it go?" she asked casually from where she
sat on his floor. Mousse, who lay next to her merely
groaned and twitched a little.
"What happened to him?" Ranma asked, concerned.
"Oh, he'll be fine in a little while." she said,
dismissing Ranma's worries with the wave of a hand. "He
just got caught in the crossfire." She pointed to a couple
of boxes sitting beside her. "These came for you."
Ranma stared mutely at the ramen and okinomiyaki
containers and wondered what Nabiki wasn't telling him.