On Sun, 12 Oct 1997, Emily Siazon wrote:

I saved this in my mailbox for weeks. I saw it all reposted, had never
read any of it, and decided to try it out. Short, and concise, but not
at all lacking in content. It really does seem to zip by, tho',
doesn't it? ^_^

Aaanyhoo..


@>> >"Yeah. As long as I can remember," she sighed. "It hurts, you know?
@>> >It's so obvious that they're in love, but I can't seem to let him go."

@>> This bit is kind of hard for me tro believe. More explanation is needed
@>> of how Nabsy, the girl with a heart of cold cash, could be in love with
@>> Tofu. I also think she admitted it way too easily.
@>
@>It shows just how much experience I lack when it comes to writing Nabiki, 
@>doesn't it?  I'll work on this part a bit more.

Actually, I rather liked this part. Let's face it, not many people are
acting like normal. I don't remember Nabiki and Kasumi fighting at any
point (lack of Akane to take up the slack? :), so it's entirely
possible that Nabiki is still placid, but not such a hard person. I
mean, losing your Mom *and* your sister is quite a lot of trauma.
It's nice to see that you can't change Kasumi *too* much, though. :)

@>> >     "Honestly? Yeah, sometimes. But I'm not mad. I mean, how else
@>> >could we have become friends?"
@>> >
@>> >     "I can think of other alternatives," he answered with a rueful
@>> >smile.
@>> >
@>> Ryoga seems a bit too confident here, unless his crush on Akane is not
@>> as strong as in the original.
@>Yep. They haven't spent enough time together for it to be as strong
@>as in the original.

I think I like that. Ryouga's crush was too frivolously generated in
the original series, I think.

@>
@>> >     She let out a gasp of surprise while she took out the contents of
@>> >the cheery red and yellow box. "My necklace! H-how did you find it?"
@>> 
@>> Aw, that's nice.
@>
@>Yeah. What was I thinking?! 

The calm before the storm. The calm before the storm...

@>> >AUTHORS NOTES: Can anyone guess what Shinnosuke's other present is?
@>> The same necklace? Maybe it's one of those kinds that's sold in stores
@>> everywhere for $19.98.
@>
@>Nope. Try again.

It cost $24.98?

@>> >   Why? I'm doing that because it's very important to the plot. Its
@>> >not like I _enjoy_ making them suffer <innocent look>
@>> Hey, *I* do, I admit that freely.
@>
@>Why bother writing fanfics if you can't kill any of them or make them
@>go through hell :)

Stories are about strife and suffering and conflict. Some people just
like to take it further than others. :)

Jan

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