revised the Akane/Kurmi battle, corrected a few typos,
padded the battle scenes more, all around, a close-to-finished
product.
any C&C appreciated.
-rodM
-----------------------------------------------------------------
========================
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
ACT 2
The Kings of Nerima
Day 1
Minor Arcana
========================
---------ROUND ONE---------
"Be careful, Sentaro!" cried Miss Satsuki, holding Sentaro in a
desperate embrace.
Sentaro returned his beloved's embrace, his face solemn and grim.
"Do not fear, my love. I will have my vengence on this day. In the
name of the Daimonji School of Tea Ceremony Martial Arts, I CANNOT
fail."
Reluctantly, he and Satsuki seperated from each other, and he
strode (actually, glided on his knees as those who practice Tea
Ceremony Martial Arts were apt to do) into the battlefield, the
football field of Furinkan High. The small crowd watching included
many of his fellow students, and those of the Miyako School of Tea
Ceremony Martial Arts as well.
"DO YOUR BEST!" yelled his grandmother.
"I WILL NOT FAIL!" he yelled back.
"YOU'D BETTER NOT, YOU HALFWIT USELESS MORON!!!"
Ignoring his Grandmother's cheer, Sentaro Daimonji mentally
prepared himself, eyeing his most hateful enemy. The one that
defeated the entire Tea Ceremony Martial Arts dojo one fateful night a
year ago. He that brought shame to them all.
Sentaro locked eyes with his nemesis and struck a mighty pose (an
amazing thing, considering that he was kneeling).
"TODAY, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"
Ryo Muhoshin idly twirled his umbrella, looked Sentaro over once,
and said a single word.
"Five."
*
Focus.
Ryouga repeated that simple mantra to himself as he prepared for
the upcoming fight. The scene of the fight was a stretch of land by
the canal, a place he knew Ranma frequented for practice.
Strategically, this was good and bad. Had he been the 'feature match'
of the day (the feature match today being some people he didn't
know... apparently the champion of last year's match versus some
promising and new martial artist), he'd be fighting in the auditorium,
and he MUCH preferred open-air matches. Of course, the canal nearby
was a water hazzard, but he felt he shouldn't worry about that too
much or else he might be overly distracted during the match.
A medium sized stand was errected nearby for viewers who bought
tickets to this match. He could see a great many students from
Furinkan (the girls circling around talking to everyone being Nabiki's
Agents, he suspected) watching the match amongst the spectators and to
his surprise some carrying banners cheering him on.
He wished Ukyou was there, but she had a match of her own to fight.
With a bit of a sigh, he looked at his umbrella, currently
plastered by various logos from companies (YOKOHAMA TIRES // SONY //
CAPCOM // SHONEN KNIFE ) and local merchants (UCCHAN'S OKONOMIYAKI //
KING'S CAFE // UCCHAN'S OKONOMIYAKI // TERRI'S TERIYAKI &
STEAK//UCCHAN'S OKONOMIYAKI//). He never thought promotional money
could be earned from martial arts... but then again, this was a new
day and age.
And Ukyou insisted on it.
His opponent for this first round looked serious. He was a young
man with a strong, thick build and a shaved head. A buhdist monk,
perhaps? A warrior of the shaolin? Ryouga braced himself for the
worst, refusing to take his enemy lightly.
As the announcer approaced with portable microphone in hand, the
two combattants stepped forward and the crowd hushed in anticipation.
*TODAY'S MATCH, RYOUGA HIBIKI VS. LAI-RI KU-LEE MOH!*
Lai-Ri Ku-Lee Moh? Bizzare name... almost... Chinese. There was
something familiar about it, though...
*THE FIGHT PROCEEDS UNTIL ONE SURRENDERS OR IS KNOCKED OUT!*
Ryouga tried to assess Moh by his stance stance, but could assess
nothing. It wasn't because his stance was unreadable, but that he
was't in a stance. Moh merely stood there impatiently, arms crossed
in front of him.
Clearly, an arrogant guy. This, he felt, would be an easy match.
*FIGHT!*
*
She could feel the warmth of the gigantic grill that they both
stood on, knowing that this was _her_ home turf. She had the
advantage here.
She was surprised that the King of Nerima officials accepted it as
a place to hold a match, but she wasn't about to complain. Actually,
she was grateful for the advantage. It'd make pounding her enemy that
much easier.
"So, Joe, back for more?" sneered Ukyou.
"This time... you fall."
Joe the crepe chef. This was the last person Ukyou expected to see
in the match. She hadn't seen him since she defeated him in their
crepe vs. okonomiyaki duel a while back when he'd threatened to drive
her out of business. She thought she'd seen the last of him.
Joe, meanwhile, was tetermined not to waste this shot at
redemption. It'd taken him quite a lot of money to get this match
arranged, and he had to outbid that weird guy in the octopus mask to
get this arranged too...
It was at this point that someone in the stands decided to be a
wiseguy.
"TAAAAAKEEEEOOOUT KOOOOOMBAAAAAAAT!"
Joe and Ukyou both scowled.
*FIGHT!*
And soon, the air was filled with violent waves of okonomiyaki and
crepe as the two culinary warriors collided.
*
"What's that?!" asked Moh, gaping while pointing at Ryouga's shirt.
"Huh? What?" Ryouga looked down briefly. "What's what?"
"That!" yelled Moh, striking forward with his single finger,
stinging Ryouga's chest. Before Ryouga could react to the underhanded
attack, Moh clenched his hand into a fist and moved it from Ryouga's
chest to his jaw, connecting solidly, then poked Ryouga in both eyes.
The lost boy staggered back, rubbing his eyes, while Moh remained
in a 'cool pose' (or so he thought) with two fingers jutting out like
fangs from his hand.
"Now you know the force of STOOGE-FU! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Woooooo!"
The time bomb that was Ryouga's rage began ticking. He'd just
fallen for the oldest trick in the book, and he was getting humiliated
by someone using Stooge-Fu.
Stooge. Fu.
Ranma would never let him hear the end of it.
"Why youuuu...."
*
"FIGHT HARDER, BOY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" bellowed Genma from
the stands. "HOW DARE YOU SHAME YOUR FATHER THIS WAY!"
"Not now, DAD!"
Ranma's first round match was against a foe he'd taken on before,
the Dojo Destroyer. The Destroyer seemed as wide as he was tall, and
his height was approximately seven feet tall. His technique was the
use of signboards of dojos that he'd defeated, weilding them somehow
with telekenesis of some sort, or possibly just incredibly strong
fighting spirit. He'd defeated 99 dojos, and thus had a swarm of 99
dojo sign boards to attack with, constantly circling him like insects.
He and Akane took the Destroyer down before, as a team, but now he
was facing him alone.
The fight was not going as well as Ranma thought it should. The
Dojo Destroyer was still standing, and five minutes had already gone
by. Not only that, but his fighting style had improved, becoming much
more effective defensively. Almost every blow was somehow blocked by
a signboard. The strikes that did make it through were hits to his
massive stomach, which didn't affect the Destroyer much at all.
However, the Destroyer hadn't managed to land many hits on Ranma
either. The few hits he did manage, though, were still stinging.
And so after a furious exchange of attacks, the two stood apart by
several yards, each assessing their foe to try and find that one weak
spot (and get a small rest). Ranma was in his combat stance, ready to
spring at a moment's notice, while the Dojo Destroyer stood mightily,
his signboards circling around him like a swarm of bees.
<Damn> he thought, <this isn't gonna be as easy as I thought.>
*
"AND *WHAM* STAY *WHAM* DOWN! *WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM*"
A royal stomping wasn't good enough for this clown, or so Ryouga
believed as he continued to viciously stomp on Moh's prone form on the
ground. Moh had previously yanked his hair, stepped on his feet,
stomped on his feet, threw PIES in his face, all after many ridiculous
distractions he shoudn't have fallen for in the first place. The
second Moh left himself open, Ryouga began pounding him to the ground
and hadn't stopped yet.
If Ranma made one joke, just ONE joke about this, Ryouga swore he'd
kill him.
Finally, Ryouga stopped his stomping and cautiously checked Moh for
signs of consciousness.
Nope, out like a light.
He sighed and smiled in relief. Round one of the King of Nerima
tournament was over, at least for him. He idly wondered if Ranma was
faring as well.
*
Ranma was plowed into the ground by an unmerciful swarm of dojo
signboards, feeling strike after strike impact on him, finally ending
after approximately 48 hits. He was dimly aware of the Dojo Destroyer
toppling backwards and hoped that his plan worked.
The plan was fairly simple. He noticed that just before the
Destroyer unleashed a 'heavy' volley of signs, he left himself wide
open for a brief amount of time. Ranma thought he could exploit that,
and did, zooming for several chestnut-fist strikes to his vital
points.
What he didn't expect was for the Dojo Destroyer to be standing
AFTER his vital points were hit and continue with the volley of
signboards. Hence his current position imbedded in the floor.
He slowly pulled himself from the floor as the Dojo Destroyer
stomped menacingly towards him. Ranma was hurting, but his willpower
shrugged that aside.
The Dojo Destroyer staggered in his step, then fell to one knee.
Ranma smiled. The attack _had_ taken its toll, and now the Destroyer
was leaving himself open again. Now was the time to attack.
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
*
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
Ukyou was gloating. She wasn't normally the type to gloat, but she
really _hated_ Joe. This was also her first time to gloat after a
glorious battle, so she was really trying to enjoy it.
"You aren't looking so hot NOW, are ya sugar? Eh? What's that?"
She kicked aside small bits of crepe and booted a gigantic okonomiyaki
casually.
"Ow!" it said. "Let me outta here!"
"Let you out?" asked Ukyou. Her grin became somewhat scary as she
brought out a match. "Say... did you know that I use gunpowder in my
okonomiyaki mix?"
"N-no... you wouldn't!"
"Ooooh yes I would!"
"FINISH HIM!" boomed the obnoxious heckler. Ukyou took a moment to
glare at the stands, then dropped a lit match.
------BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM-------
*AND THE WINNER, UKYOU KUONJI!*
The crowd cheered. Ukyou flashed a winning smile and waved her
battle spatula. Somewhere in the crowds, the wiseguy came back...
"FATALITY!"
Ukyou took a moment to grab a chunk of crepe that was on the floor
and heaved it at the wiseguy.
Meanwhile, the automatic commercial queuing kicked in.
*FOR THE BEST OKONOMIYAKI IN NERIMA, VISIT UCCHAN'S! OPEN SIX DAYS
A WEEK, CATERING AVAILABLE! CALL 42-UCCHAN FOR DETAILS!*
"Damn you," whimpered Joe.
*
"FALL DOWN, DAMN YOU!" yelled Ranma as he pounded away at the Dojo
Destroyer. This was Ranma's tenth time to take advantage of the
Destroyer's opening, pounding away at his vital points with the
chestnut fist. At times it seemed that the Destroyer was about to
topple, but he just kept on going.
And the chestnut fist was _very_ draining on Ranma's endurance.
For this, the tenth time he managed to sneak in, Ranma decided it
was time for all or nothing. As he pounded away at the Destroyer's
vital points yet again, he built up his ki and confidence, ending his
furious barrage with a cry of "Mokou-Takabishi!" that lifted the titan
off of his feet and thundering down to the ground.
"Is... is it over?" He fell to one knee, breathing heavily. The
Dojo Destroyer, meanwhile, hadn't moved a muscle. Ten seconds passed
in silence.
*AND THE WINNER BY KNOCKOUT, RANMA SAOTOME OF THE SAOTOME/TENDO
DOJO!*
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. He still could have fought on for
quite a few more minutes, but he wouldn't like the level at which he'd
be fighting. Using those chestnut fist attacks were really draining
on his endurance. He was already reviewing the fight in his mind,
seeing where he went wrong and making notes on how to do better in the
next match as he staggered to the sidelines.
"That took a bit long, boy," said Genma.
He would have liked to have said, "shut up pop!" if only he wasn't
so tired. For now, he had to get his wind back and find out how the
other guys were doing.
"Well, my match begins soon," said Genma. "See you later."
"You mean... you hadn't fought yet?"
"No. They're holding the first round matches at different times, so
that people may attend more of them. Mine is in about... thirty
minutes at the main stadium."
"Wait a sec... the main stadium?"
Genma nodded proudly. "We are, after all, the two masters of the
Saotome/Tendo dojo."
"If I find the guys in time, we'll try to watch it."
"Thanks, son."
Genma stolled out to his destiny, while Ranma took long pulls from
his gatoraide bottle and wobbled to the nearby bulletin board to
figure out where the others were and if he had a chance to watch their
matches as well.
Ryouga had a match against some guy with a weird name.
Ukyou was facing... Joe? The crepe chef? And it was probably too
late to catch that match. She was facing off against him in her own
gigantic grill / fight ring.
Akane... Akane... she was at the Furinkan High Gymnasium, facing
off against...
Before he could read further, he was bumped from the side, spilling
his drink all over the place, including on himself.
"Hey," he, now she, scowled, "watch where yer goin!"
"Sorry, sorry," said a bandanna-clad girl with fangs. "Do you know
how to get to... to... Ranma?"
"Ryouga? Hey, I was just about to look for you. Seen Ukyou
around?"
"No, I was trying to find her."
"Well, come on, let's go find her," said Ranma-chan. "But before
we do..." She whapped Ryouga-chan on the head savagely.
"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" yelled Ryouga.
"For gettin'us both wet, moron!"
"It was an accident, you jerk!"
Before the two could begin a fight, a gigantic spatula sliced
between them.
"Boys, boys, I just can't leave you two alone for a minute." Ukyou
sighed, pulling her spatula back up.
"He started it!" yelled Ryouga.
"Did not!"
*CLANG*CLANG* "CUT IT OUT, MORONS!"
The two wobbled away while Ukyou put her spatula in its holder.
"Come on, boys, let's go find Akane... we should be able to catch
some of the action... unless her opponent trashes her totally. Who's
she fighting anyways?"
"I was about to find out until lost boy here made me spill my
drink," said Ranma.
Before the two could start bickering again, Ukyou yelled, "Drop it
already!" Ryouga and Ranma grumbled and turned away from each other,
while Ukyou checked the bulletin board.
"Heeey... she's fighting a 'Kurumi Tendo'."
"WHO?" both Ranma and Ryouga said.
*
The ribbon swirled madly in chaotic patters, a red gash in the air
moving in impossible ways. Even though she was dodging them, just to
be near their presence sent a slight burning sensation into her skin.
Akane sprang away to a safe range and tried to get her second wind.
Her opponent did likewise, quickly tying her ribbon back in her hair
with deceptive ease. Although she was younger, Akane knew better than
to be overconfident against the girl. After all, she'd beaten Akane
once before.
Kurumi knew her strengths and weaknesses in this match. From a
distance, she could wear Akane down with her ribbon whip, but at close
range Akane's strength would surely wear her down.
The spectators were many and cheering, mainly beause quite a lot of
them were from the old Akane Tendo Fan Club. They were worried about
their number one heroine, but had to admit, this match against her
apparent relative of sorts was a good one, filled with precision
martial arts and thrilling moments of suspense.
In the back of her mind, Akane wondered where Ranma was.
"Go for it, Akane!"
"We know you can do it!"
"Don't give up, sugar!"
The Akane Tendo Fan Club waved their banners (GO AKANE! WE LOVE
YOU AKANE! AKANE RULES!) more vigoriously.
Akane smiled, recognizing Ranma, Ryouga, and Ukyou's cheers. Her
confidence swelled, and she felt her second wind coming to her.
The problem, she thought, was definitely the ribbon. Had to get
rid of the ribbon.
Suddenly, it all became obvious. It might hurt, but it would
definitely get rid of the ribbon. Akane was, actually, rather
embarrased she didn't think of this in the first place, since she did
it before.
Kurumi's whip snaked out again, snaking through the air as if it
was alive. Akane dodged to the side, advanced slightly, ducked under
another wave of the ribbon, then swung her arm across at the next
strike. There was a hard, sharp sting, then she felt the firm grip of
Kurumi's ribbon as it wrapped itself around her arm.
Kurumi's eyes went wide as she realized what Akane was up to. She
pulled back on her ribbon, trying to get it away. That tug backfired
when Akane gave a mighty pull of her own, lifting Kurumi off her feet
and forward for a short distance.
When Kurumi looked around again, Akane was nowhere to be found.
She scanned her left, her right, behind her, and in front of her once
more quickly.
Then she saw the shadow.
By the time she looked up, it was too late. Akane's flying kick
struck her straight in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and
sending Kurumi to her knees, then to the floor.
Ten seconds later, with Kurumi not rising, the announcer bellowed
*AND THE WINNER, AKANE TENDO OF THE TENDO DOJO ANYTHING GOES SCHOOL
OF MARTIAL ARTS!*
She could hear the cheer of the crowd, roaring in the air. She
could hear Ranma call out her name, and see him rushing out to the
field.
Akane smiled, then went to Kurumi to make sure she wasn't seriously
injured. They both thought the same thing.
<I _really_ need a rest.>
*
---------INTERMISSION---------
*
An hour later, Akane and a crowd of several others were gathered at one
of the few places to carry the pay-per-view broadcast of the King of
Nerima tournament, King's Cafe. Several other tournament fighters were
lounging there as well, winners and losers, in an almost carival-like
atmosphere.
"Hey, are you alright?" asked Akane, looking with concern at Kurumi.
"I'm okay," said Kurumi with a bit of a smile. "You fought well."
"You did too," said Akane encouragingly. She turned to the elder
of the sisters and asked, "So, how'd your match go, Natsume?"
Natsume, the elder of the two 'other Tendo sisters', shrugged. "It
was... dissapointing, I suppose. My adversary was not worthy."
"Oh? Who was your opponent?"
"He was named.... Shen Pu," said Natsume, "and he kept on ranting
on the sacred tactics of the Fourth Stooge Fist." Everyone seemed
puzzled, except for Ryouga who knew exactly what she was talking
about.
//In one of the most spectacular defeats of the day, Ryo Muhoshin
defeated Sentaro Daimonji in record time...//
"Daimonji... wasn't he the one from the Tea Ceremony Martial Arts
Dojo?" wondered Akane.
"Yeah, that's him," said Ranma.
// ...and now, here's a replay of the entire match. Yes, the
entire match.//
****
One...
Ryo blazed forward with alarming speed, his umbrella spinning in a
blur. Sentaro refused to panic, and calmly lifted up a tea pot and ladel
to block and counterstrike.
Two...
Sentaro raised the pot to block the umbrella slash. He felt the pot
shudder, but with a surprisingly light touch instead of the brutal heavy
strike he was expecting.
Three...
As he swung his ladel forward to strike, the tea pot suddenly exploded,
sending water and metal shards everywhere. Surprised by this, Sentaro
could only reel backwards and try to cover his face while his ears rang
from the sound of the explosion.
Four....
Still reeling back, Sentaro was alarmed when he felt Ryo's hand snare
his throat tightly. The world spun madly as he felt himself lifted into
the sky, then slammed head first into the ground unmercifully. His world
immediately faded into black.
Five.
The crowd was speechless, except for a girl cheering enthusiastically,
sitting next to a gigantic pig. Ryo smiled and bowed to her. Elsewhere,
Satsuki and Grandmother Daimonji looked at the ground in sorrow, lamenting
Sentaro's brutal defeat.
The almost-silence continued for several seconds more, as the judges
waited to see if Sentaro would stir. When it obvious that he wouldn't,
the announcer stepped into the field, microphone in hand.
"AND THE WINNER, RYO MUHOSHIN!"
The crowd cheered politely, a few of them very much impressed (and a
few of them not, after all Sentaro was a martial artist of the _tea_
variety), and Ryo bowed to them all, taking a moment to glance downward at
his enemy with contempt.
And then he began strutting rather fashionably, showing off the
jacket, shirt, tie...
"RYO MUHOSHIN'S WARDROBE PROVIDED BY HIKARI'S. SUIT BY ARMANI.
TIE BY TOMJONAVICH. SHOES COURTESY OF BRUNO MAGLI..."
****
//and once again, Sentaro Daimonji leaves the King of Nerima tournament
in defeat and embarrasment.//
"Well... what do you expect from a guy that practices TEA CEREMONY
martial arts?" said Ranma.
"Don't be so mean, Ranma," chided Akane, giving him a light elbow.
"Well it's true, ain't it?"
//And on an opposite theme was the match between Anything Goes Martial
Arts masters Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome.//
"Aw man! I knew I forgot something!" said Ranma. "I was supposed to
watch Pop's fight right after Akane's."
"Well, technically, you are," pointed out Ukyou.
"Oh yeah... good point." Satisfied that he was technically in the
right, Ranma relaxed again.
//This grueling match of masters just ended minutes ago, lasting almost
an hour. This spectacular match had several highlights, almost all of
them in the final minutes as they seemed to give all their strength in an
effort to defeat each other.//
"This is either gonna be real interesting or real stupid," muttered
Ranma.
****
Soun and Genma sweated heavily, both feeling their bodies reminding
them of exactly how old they really were. Each was doing exactly what the
other expected of them. Genma, despite his massive girth, continually
sprung into the air for some impressive offensive manouvers, while Soun
stayed mostly on the ground and tried to end it quickly with powerful
strikes to Genma's vital points.
After almost an hour, each had landed many blows on the other. They
knew each other too well to make it an easy fight.
"You're still as good as I remember, Tendo."
"As are you, Saotome."
"But... I'm afraid it's time to end this match, don't you?"
"Definitely, old friend."
Suddenly, the two martial artists glowed brightly with battle aura.
With a dramatic sweeping of their arms, they simultaneously launched
solid beams of ki that canceled each other out.
*
"Whoa, no way," said Ukyou, mouth half-full of peanuts.
Akane and Ranma could only stare at the screen in surprise.
Kurumi was giggling badly at a few carefully selected words
whispered in her ear by Prince Toma. Natsumi was itching to thwap the
boy.
"Hey, Ranma, pass the chips?" asked Ryouga.
*
Genma displayed an amazing variety of aerial assault techniques,
while Soun clearly held advantage while they were both on the ground.
It was, by the looks of the audience, a crowd-pleasing battle.
Unfortunately for the fighters, it was also a very tiring battle.
Things had to end soon.
Genma sprang in the air again, aiming for Soun's jaw. This time,
however, he was suddenly surrounded by a battle aura that solidified into
a gigantic version of himself. Either this wound end it for Soun, or for
himself. The effort of using his battle aura in this manner was
so tremendous that he would surely be too exhausted to fight on after it
was done.
Surprisingly, Soun didn't panic at the sight of a monster-sized Genma
flying foot-first at him. He decided to unleash his most powerful attack
and hope it was strong enough to deflect Genma's titanic foot.
"GEEEEEEEEEEEENMAAAAAAAA!!!"
The spectators fled in panic and several cameramen were blown away as
the full might of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Demon's
Head attack was unleased, shattering the battleground. It was the most
effort he'd ever put into it, and the Demon's Head he was generating was
large enough to swallow Genma, battle aura and all.
Genma, as was his nature, panicked. In fact, he was scared
witless, having never seen Soun's demon head strike _that_ powerful.
He passed out from fright and his battle aura immediately flickered
into non-existence.
Unfortunately for Soun, there was still the matter of physics. Demon's
Head or not, there was still the matter of Genma's rather large body
flying at him. Soun couldn't dodge because he was still locked in the
Demon's Head attack, so the end result was a titanic demon's head with
eyes bulging out in panic and fear as Genma's rump flew towards his face.
With an absolute lack of grace, Genma's prone form plowed INTO the
massive ki-projection of the Satanic Soun Face and into its mouth. It
was immediately distorted in an odd way (some witnesses would say that
it looked like it swallowed something rather distasteful), turning a
deeper shade of purple, then exploded with a bang.
When the dust settled, both masters of the Anything Goes School of
Martial Arts were on the floor, deeply unconscious.
****
//... and while fighters who had matches that end in a double
knockout are usually allowed to advance to the next round, Tendo and
Saotome both declined, citing health concerns and previous obligations
to their withdrawl from the tournament.//
"Oh my gosh," said Akane, burying her face in her hands.
"I have no idea what to say," said Ranma quietly.
Ryouga patted Ukyou on the back. "Hey, are you alright?"
Ukyou wasn't saying anything, she was too busy snickering, and
already shaking badly from the effort to not laugh hysterically out
loud.
//Meanwhile, four other members of the Anything Goes School of Martial
Arts fared better, winning their matches. Ranma Saotome fought a grueling
match against the famous Dojo Destroyer, knocking him out after fourty
minutes of combat.//
"Hey! They're showing me! Turn up the volume, man!" shouted Ranma.
"Not getting a little egotistical, now are we Ranchan?"
The television went on to display a few choice moments of Ranma's
match, including the several times he was struck by a signboard flury from
the Dojo Destroyer as well as the final blow via Mokou Takabisha.
"Alright, they're makin'me look cool."
"Egomaniac," muttered Ryouga.
"Aw, getting jealous, Ryouga?"
"Shut up, you!"
//Akane Tendo also went on to the second round, taking on fellow
Anything Goes student Kurumi Tendo in a grueling twenty minute bout,
Natsume Tendo emerged victorious over Stooge Fu practicioner Shem Pu,
and Anything Goes Master Happosai defeated his old friend and rival
Hentosai.//
The screen briefly flickered the finishing blow of each of the matches,
then the announcer took a break for commercials, promising more
hard-hitting action when they returned.
//The full versions of these matches and more will be broadcast
tonight at ten.//
"That... was it?" wondered an unhappy Akane.
"My match was worth more than a ten second clip," mumbled Natsume.
"Don't feel too bad about it," said Ranma. "Not everyone gets the
spotlight... like me."
*CLANG*WHAM*THUD*CRACK*
"J-just... joking.... owwww."
"So," said Ryouga, "when do we know who we're going to fight next?"
"I dunno, I think I heard'em say that they'll release the schedule in
about an hour," said Ukyou.
"Great, and our next matches all start in about two hours," said
Ranma. "I'm still worn out from the first match."
//And in a great upset today...//
*
//... Kinnii of the legendary cult of the Muscle Sword was defeated
in stunning fashon by Furinkan's own Blue Thunder, Tatewaki Kuno.//
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"
The footage played out, to Nabiki, like a scene from a horror
movie: a terribe, terrible act that you knew was about to happen, yet
could not prevent.
Kinnii, massive swordsman of the deadly Muscle Sword cult was
struck by a blazing upward slash of Kuno's bokken, sending him flying
several feet back until striking the ground, unconscious.
Nabiki was speechless, utterly totally speechless. The other girls
in Nabiki's temporary base of operations (Furinkan High, third floor)
were also stunned beyond vocal ability. The odds against Kuno were
pretty high, and they all figured to get a little easy money from that
matchup.
Instead, Kuno won, and a handful of lucky bastards just hit the
jackpot.
"You just HAD to pick NOW to start winning again, Kuno-chan,"
growled Nabiki. "Someone get me footage of that match! I need it
NOW! And who the hell DID bet on Kuno anyways?"
*
"Hiroshi, my friend, I shall never doubt you again."
"Why thank you, Daisuke."
"Who'd have thunk that betting a modest amount of yen would've
nailed us the jackpot?"
"These are beautiful days indeed, my friend. Now c'mon, let's go
find Sayuri and Yuka. We can finally afford to give'em a good date."
*
In a darkened room, a figure leaned back on the plush office chair,
examining a sheet of paper. A pencil was twirled for a moment, then
it was moved towards a set of names.
[ROUND TWO: R. Saotome vs. G. Yotaro]
"Hmmm... no."
The name Yotaro was scratched off, and replaced with something far
more interesting.
*
---------ROUND TWO---------
*
"Ranma Saotome, it seems we meet again."
The aforementioned Saotome winced. First the Dojo Destroyer, now
Kirin. Ranma had taken Kirin on quite a while ago, and it took
unusual circumstances for Ranma to bring him down. Now, under normal
circumstances, this would be a tough match. Kirin's speed matched
Ranma's. He used his chopsticks in alarmingly deadly ways, including
ki blasts. Unless Kirin had been slacking off, this was not going to
be easy.
"Heya, Kirin. How's married life treatin'ya?"
"It goes well. And you?"
"Eh... not there yet."
"Say, how'd you end up hearin'about this tournament anyway? I
thought the King of Nerima tournament was a local thing."
"Local?" Kirin frowned. "How odd, then. An invitation was sent
to the Seven Lucky Gods Dojo, and thus invited, the Seven Lucky Gods
came."
"Wait... you mean the OTHERS are here?"
"That is correct."
"Oh boy," grumbled Ranma. "Great. Who else showed up, Prince
Toma an'his guys?"
*
"Alas, Prince Toma, we meet again."
"Ah... Tatewaki Kuno, yes?"
*
Ryouga's match wasn't quite as... it just...
He was facing... well...
"Ook!"
A monkey.
"Hey, is this a joke?" asked Ryouga.
The announcer shook his his head. "Nope, no joke. That's your
opponent. Sanae of the Tea Ceremony School of Martial Arts."
"Ook!" The monkey martial artist flashed a toothy grin.
"I'm not fighting a... a... a MONKEY! This is stupid!"
"EEK!" Sanae definitely looked insulted, and rattled off a long
string of 'eek's and 'ook's along with agitated facial expressions and
a bit of poking at Ryouga's knees (it was a rather short monkey).
"Shut up!" yelled Ryouga. "Jeez, I'm fighting a monk-"
*********CLANG*********
"Eeeeaaagh." Ryouga shuddered in anger while he took the small
iron pot off of his head. "Why yo-"
*********CLANG*********
Removing the large iron pot from his head, Ryouga's battle aura
began to rev up.
"THAT'S IT! THE MONKEY DIES!"
"EEK!"
What followed wasn't so much a martial arts duel as it was a public
display of animal abuse.
*
Another barrage of small, chopstick-shaped ki blasts flew through
the air, and Ranma twisted around in an attempt to dodge them. He
felt a sting and a hiss as several of the projectiles hit his clothes,
stung his flesh, and left their burn marks. This was, yet again, not
an easy match for the young Saotome.
Ranma frowned. Same old problem. Toma was too fast. His arms
could move to parry whatever assault Ranma attempted. The analytical
part of his mind was churning the situation over, looking for that
weakness. Everyone had a weakness, he just needed more time to
pinpoint it.
The analytical part of his mind finally had an idea. It'd rely on
him taking on more punishment again, but at least this was the last
match of the day.
He landed, getting into the stance for the mokou takabisha, and
built up his ki. A swarm of ki blasts was heading his way.
This was going to hurt.
*
The Blue Thunder nodded to his opponent, who nodded back.
"En garde, Prince!" Kuno charged forward, bokken at the ready.
Prince Toma smiled. A rolling wave of fire swept out from Prince
Toma's hand, enveloping the Blue Thunder.
The audience gasped.
Tatewaki Kuno didn't even stop. To Toma's utter surprise, Kuno was
on him and lashed out with a devastating midsection slash. For a
brief flickering moment, Toma thought he saw blue flames...
*
- an hour later-
Once more, in King's cafe, Ranma & company gathered for rest and
nourishment. The festivities around him seemed rather crowded, with
Akane, Nabiki, Ryouga, Ukyou, Natsumi, Kurumi, and Prince Toma.
Aside from Prince Toma, they were all there to talk of battles won
and lost, how their own battles had gone, and to egg each other
mercilessly. Prince Toma was busy hitting on Kurumi for a date.
Natsumi frowned while Toma flirted, but didn't interfere in any other
way.
"Saw your match, Ryouga," said Ranma. "Good job beatin'the
monkey. You really spanked that monkey. Got the monkey off your
back. No monkey business h-"
"SHUT UP RANMA!"
"Sheesh, no sense of humor," he replied, rubbing his arms. "Ow.
Damn, that wasn't a fun match."
"Who was your matchup?" asked Ukyou.
"Kirin," said Ranma. "Head of the Seven Lucky Gods Dojo."
Ukyou hmmed. "Oh, wait, you told me about him... he was the one
that used chopsticks and kidnapped Akane?"
Akane nodded. "That's the one."
"So that would explain those," said Ukyou, pointing to the many
narrow chopstic-esque burn marks on Ranma's shirt and hands.
"Yeah, he was no pushover. Figured out his weakness, though."
"Which was?" asked Akane.
"Well... his arms were fast, but his legs weren't. He usually
stood in place when he was doin'his stuff."
"And?" asked Akane.
"His ki blasts. They were small. I figured a really solid mokou
takabisha would blaze right through'em, and Kirin'd be too slow to
dodge. Of course, that meant I hadda take some hits to build up ki
before I could do it." He took that moment to apply a damp warm towel
to the various burn marks on his arms and face. "I'm beginning to
think the guy that makes the matchups really hates me... and sending
all the clowns your way, Ryouga."
Ignoring the discussion, Kurumi giggled and blushed as Toma
mentioned how very much her eyes reminded him of thte sunsets on his
island. Natsumi was splitting her attention between her meal and
occasional glares at the young prince.
"It isn't my fault all my matchups were against... just...
RIDICULOUS martial artists!" Ryouga gritted his teeth. "They're
making me look like a joke out there!"
"Well hey, if the shoe fits..."
"YOU SAYING I'M A JOKE?!?!"
As the conversation between the two rambled on into a shouting
match, Ukyou and Akane rolled their eyes. Kurumi, meanwhile, talked
about her wanderings through Japan with her elder sister, with Prince
Toma listening attentively.
"And there they go again," sighed Akane as Ranma and Ryouga yelled
loudly and gestured with much sweeps of arms and pointing of fingers.
"So, Ukyou, how'd your match go?"
Ukyou shrugged. "Took on some polearm fighter. Not easy, but not
too hard either. How about you?"
"Kaori Daikoku."
"Never heard'a her," said Ukyou.
"She hasn't been around in a long time... she was an ex-fiancee of
Ranma's."
Ukyou raised an eyebrow. "Another one? Genma's fault, yeah?"
Akane nodded.
They both became distracted by the rather loud clacking of keys as
Nabiki impatiently pounded on her laptop.
"Say, what's that you're looking at?" asked Ukyou.
"King of Nerima website," said Nabiki.
Akane leaned towards Nabiki, trying to get a glimpse of her
screen. "This thing has a website?"
"Yeah, it's got statistics and bios for all of the fighters in the
tournament, as well as stats on today's matches."
Ukyou's curiosity was raised a little. "Really? What kinda of
stats?"
"Longest matches, shortest matches, martial artist with the
shortest average match, longest average match, wins by knockout, wins
by submission, etc."
"Really? So who's got the longest time per match?" asked Ukyou.
"Let's see... Kaeru Yaroshi, Yaroshi School of Grappling.
Twenty-three minutes and forty seconds average per match."
"How about the shortest?" asked Ukyou.
"Hm.... Ryo Muhoshin, Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts,
eight point seven seconds per match."
"Eight point seven???" Ranma looked irritated, possibly because
someone was doing better than he was. "Who the heck did he fight in
the second round?"
"Freddy Takoma, Martial Arts Basket Weaving," said Nabiki.
"How'd a BASKET WEAVER get into the second round?!" yelled Ranma.
"He beat Ken Kashu, Martial Arts Poetry."
"Okay, now I've heard it all," said Ukyou.
"Get outta here! Lemme see that." Ranma nudged Nabiki aside and
stared at the screen. "Ken Kasu, Martial Arts Poetry. Aw geez."
"As silly as that may seem, there's something even odder
happening," said Nabiki. "And I don't like it one bit."
"Like what?" asked Ukyou.
"Like Kuno making it to the third round."
The table fell silet, except for Toma, who was telling Kurumi about
this great stretch of beach on the south end of Togenkyou Island...
"Waitaminute," said Ranma. "Kuno won AGAIN?"
Nabiki nodded.
"Who'd he beat this time? Must be someone pretty pathetic," said
Ranma smugly.
Nabiki pointed at Toma, who at that moment grinned rather
sheepishly.
"I... guess I underestimated him," offered Toma sheepishly as an
excuse.
"Two strong wins in a row is no coincidence," said Nabiki. "I had
footage of his two victories sent to a few analysts. Before
tomorrow's matches, I should have an answer."
"Maybe this... Kuno is just better than you thought?" asked
Natsumi.
"You don't know Kuno like we know Kuno," said Ranma.
*
Mio hit the pause button again... backed up a few frames... then
sat back with a puzzled expression on her face.
On her television was Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High,
paused in mid-strike. There was something disturbing in his aura. It
was almost like... like...
She flipped through a nearby occult reference book, pausing at
several pages, then stopped.
Then she moved the footage of Kuno's fight forwards a bit, pausing
as a brief but large flash of dark aura flamed from Kuno's bokken.
"Oh no... it can't be..."
-end part 1-
WRITER'S NOTES:
The Big Index of Obscure Ranma 1/2 Characters
for The King of Nerima Tournament
--------------------------------------------
Kaori Daikoku: (ANIME)
Heiress to Takeout Martial Arts and a fiancee
of Ranma. Lost her 'fiancee' status when
she was defeteated by Ranma-chan in a
takeout martial arts race. Has shown
a surprisingly deadly use of noodles.
Crepe Joe: (MANGA)
crepe chef that briefly took away Ukyou's
business and defeated her in combat. She
trained hard and returned, defeating Joe
soundly. A competent martial artist, but
not terribly impressive.
Sentaro Daimonji: (ANIME/MANGA)
Heir to the Tea Ceremony Martial Arts Dojo.
Was under the impression that he was engaged
to a monkey, until someone arrived to clarify
things.
Sanae (ANIME/MANGA)
Pet Monkey of Lady Satsuke, heiress to the
Tea Ceremony Martial Arts Dojo. Nasty little
monkey.
Prince Toma (MOVIE)
young Prince (younger than Akane) of a magic and
mobile island whose underground spring turned any
animal into a male human, causing a severe shortage
of women on the isle. He briefly kidnapped Akane
to take as his bride. Wields a sword, and has
a _very_ strong power of illusion.
Kirin: (MOVIE)
Master of the seven lucky gods dojo. Was under the mistaken
impression that Akane was his destined fiancee, so he
(what else?) kidnapped her. Has displayed arm speed
matching Ranma's, and always fights with a bowl of rice
topped with a pickle.
Natsumi & Kurumi 'Tendo': (OAV)
orphans rescued by a man claiming to be Soun Tendo at
a young age, they were promised the Tendo Dojo if they
became strong and worthy enough of the responsibility.
Natsumi is the elder one, fighting with a specialized
staff, she can send waves of wind with it. Kurumi is
the younger, and the ribbon in her hair is actually
a deceptively long whip-like weapon, wielded as such
in combat.
Kinii: (ANIME)
Servant and Enforcer of the Jusenkyou Guardians, and
disciple of the Muscle Sword technique, where the
warrior and sword become one. His technique is
incredibly destructive in nature.
--------------------------------------------------
No, there is no King of Nerima website, but there
is a 'The Pursuit Of Happiness' website, to be
found at
http://www.uh.edu/~rpm/fanfic.htm
If I can find pictures for Ryuu Kumon, Kurumi, Natsumi, Crepe Joe,
the Takiyoki man, Kinii, Kaori, and a few others, I will make a
King of Nerima page, but it really doesn't feel right without
the pics.
-rodM