You know, if's funny how I'm in the Revenge Wars, and I've not a revengefic.
 As my place in that project doesn't really require me to have one, the
following is not related to that.  Rather, this is more of a generic fic,
geared more towards the average ficwriter than me in particular.

Note:  This is not meant to be funny.

PXDN

It seems the Oasis of Fantasy has gone a bit brackish...

-----

Perfect Revenge
A revengefic by Jonathan Lung

	I sit here in this dank cell, the straitjacket fitted snugly around me.
 Occasionally, I stare at the  dripping ceiling, the only source of
entertainment in this room.  Why am I here, you ask?  Quite simple...I wrote
something.  It wasn't much, it was a fanfic actually.  Just a humorous (in my
opinion)  Ranma 1/2 fic, nice and happy...okay, so maybe I made Ukyo slightly
partial to the new character I inserted... but other than that, it was okay.
 I posted it to a mailing list, and received little response.  That's done
with, I had thought at the time, but...I was wrong.
	I still lurked on that list afterwards, occasionally placing a comment or
two to a fic or so.  Then, I received it, an e-mail.  Address came from
Ukyo@revenge.rw.org, header was simply "Revenge is Subtle." No message.  I
had heard of the revengefics, and what they symbolized.  Quite simply, the
ones that you have written about would come, and extract what they believed
was appropriate revenge upon you.  Most received a Jusenkyo curse or similar.
 Heh!  If only I were so lucky...  They merely lost their physical form,
whilst I lost my life, and some would say my sanity.
	You see, after that little message, I had "encounters."  At school, on the
street, everywhere, at least one of them would be there.  Sometimes, it would
be a "konnichi-wa," or a "nihao" from a peculiar crew of people, ranging from
the Asian with the pigtail to the bokken-wielding poetry-spouter.  Then it
became worse; lengthy soliloquies, a near miss from a thrown spatula, and a
maniacal laugh from the darkness.  Yes, if you guessed the Ranma cast, ten
points for you.  Of course, I was the only one to see or hear them, and to
double the problem, the only one around to see them.  It had gone on for so
long, and slowly, slowly, it unnerved me, and caused me to stay in my room,
utterly locked away from the light, away from _them_.  Then one day, Ukyo
decided to drop by _in my room_, just for kicks, and a little fake flirting.
 What did I do?  Simple really, I _freaking screamed_ bloody murder.
	It was a shame that my parents were home at the time.
	So, after a small amount of half-insane (yes, at that time, I was insane)
gibbering of fanfics and anime and the whole bit, a quick eval on the part of
a psychiatrist, and here I am...in the sanitarium of the damned.
	Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo did decide to stop by and chat for a while earlier.
	"Why?"  I asked simply.
	"Well," Ranma started, "Jusenkyo's getting empty from all the revenges..."
	Ukyo flashed me a saccharine smile.  "And we knew that you would have
probably adapted to any curse we could have given you."
	"Why this though?  I've done nothing," I stated rather pathetically.  I was
at their whim, what with me in a straitjacket and their combined martial arts
skill, I could do little more than whimper.
	"You do remember that fanfic you wrote a few months ago, right?"
	"_What?!_" I nearly yelled, incredulous at the reason.  "That thing?  It
wasn't even worth the hard drive space anyway, why hash it out on me?"
	Akane cut in before the other two could respond.  "Because you didn't try,
and as a result, we lived through the terrible story you created."
	"Not only that, " Ukyo said, spatula out, "you made me attracted to some
god-awful self-insertion character!"
	"WHAT!!!"  This time I yelled.  "I never did such a thing!"
	"But you implied it, didn't you?" Ukyo said, her even tone cutting through
my soul like a laser through ice.
	"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, _ne_?" I retorted, some of my wits regained.
	"Either way, you deserve to stay in this room," Ranma said, "for what you
did to me!  You made me _lose_ to that new character of yours!"
	Now I knew my fate was sealed.  I had committed what could have been
considered the most heinous act against Ranma:  making him lose in a fight.
	"But...as we're fair people," Akane started again, "we'll give you a way out
of this place..."
	That was when they faded out of sight and the men came into my room, ready
to sedate me.  I didn't bother to struggle, as it would have been pointless.

***

	When I awoke again, I was alone with my thoughts and the dripping ceiling.
 Or maybe not.  As I looked around my cell, I noticed something in the
corner.  It was a bucket, and I could almost smell the Jusenkyo water in it.
 Looks like it didn't get emptied, I thought wryly.
	I realized what they meant by a way out.  I could simply dunk my head into
that bucket, and I'd be a different person, most undoubtedly one of the
opposite gender.  The sanitarium would have to let me out, on the account of
mistaken identity.
	But at what cost freedom for me?  Sure, I could use the bucket, but where
would I be once I got out?  I couldn't go home again, with the curse hanging
over me and the asylum officials looking for my hide.  Either way, I would
lose, and they would win.
	"So this is subtle revenge..." I muttered to myself.
	The decision could wait, I thought to myself before I went to sleep again.
 I have all the time in the world.