Subject: [fanfic][Ranma]Ranma Goes Fishing
From: Big Bore
Date: 10/10/1997, 12:34 AM
To: Fanfiction Mailing List

**Warning!Warning!Warning!Warning!Warning!**
**Writer Self-Insertion fic Ahead!**

Here is a fic I couldn't resist.  This is an Alpha version, fresh off of my
mind.  It will probably require a little work to make it as funny as it
could be, so C&C is greatly appreciated. There will be at least one more
part to this, possibly two...the first will deal with the trip to the
Russian River that is mentioned in the story--this is where the term
"Combat Fishing" originated.  The second...if I decide to do it...would be
fishing for either trout or Grayling, and involve a couple of
canoes....tippy craft those canoes.....If I really get crazy, I might do
something on Halibut fishing-saltwater fishing in a place with huge tides
(fishing at the base of a volcano/island at one hole I know of!)  Anyhoo,
let me know what you think.

All Ranma characters belong to R. Takahashi, Viz, Kitty and probably a
whole bunch of other people.



Prologue

	It was a beautiful spring day in Nerima.   The sun was shining, the
air smelled sweet, and the few billowy clouds merely served to offset the
deep blue of the sky.

	At the Tendo Dojo, Soun Tendo and his friend Genma Saotome sat on
the porch playing a game of Shogi and enjoying the warm sunshine.  Soun's
daughter Kasumi sat not far from them mending a pile of damaged red shirts.
Genma sighed and looked at the clock.

	"Well, Tendo, it seems our quiet time is about up.  School got out
about ten minutes ago.  The children should be along any time now."

	"Quite right Saotome," responded Soun as he stopped to listen to
something.  "I think I can hear Ranma coming now!"  Casually the two men
got up and walked behind the door into the dojo.

	Starting quietly, a whistling sound could be heard.  As the moments
passed, the whistling got louder and louder.  A speck appeared high in the
sky, and it too began to grow.  Very soon, the speck became the figure of a
young man.  He was falling with his back towards the ground, arms and legs
akimbo.   He knew, just knew, where this flight was going to end, and
didn't want to watch.  With the speed and accuracy of an artillery shell,
he impacted exactly on the koi pond in the yard of the Tendo dojo.

	Soun and Genma came out from behind the door as soon as the
splashing noise retreated.  Their cushions and Shogi board were soaked,
proving their good sense in moving.  "I wonder what he did to upset Akane
this time?"  Genma asked.  Soun didn't bother to answer.  There was simply
no understanding why his youngest daughter and her fiancee had it in for
each other.

	At ground zero, a red haired girl crawled out of the pond.  The koi
also wished they could leave for a quieter place, but were unfortunately
stuck there.  After the nth time, they were used to the sudden appearance
of falling objects in their domain, and had taken to staying as far away
from the center of the pond as possible.

	"Well boy,"  shouted Genma as the girl started to walk past him.
"What did you do to Akane this time?  Why can't you just come out and admit
your true feelings?  Why can't you-"

	"Why can't you shut up, old man?!"  Exclaimed the red head as she
grabbed Genma by the shirt front and picked him up.  With a mighty heave
she threw him in the direction of the pond she had just left.  Another
splash, though a smaller one owing to the lower velocity of impact,
startled the poor koi yet again.

	The hulking figure of a panda stood up in the middle of the koi
pond.  It produced a sign:  {You must learn to control yourself better!!!}
However, the subject of the sign was lost on the girl as she hadn't
bothered to read it.

	"Oh, hi Ranma!"  Said Kasumi brightly.  "I have some mail for you."
Reaching across her mending, she picks up a thick envelope and hands it to
Ranma.  "It came registered, so I had to sign for it.  I hope it's good
news!"

	"Thanks, Kasumi,"  mumbled Ranma in reply.  'I don't remember
anything that would be coming to me registered mail...I wonder what it is?'
Deciding to find out after getting some hot water and changing back to a
guy, Ranma trudged upstairs to his room for clean clothing.

A few minutes later

	Genma and Soun had resumed their game of Shogi, though Genma had
not bothered to change back to a man.  Kasumi had been joined by her
sisters Akane and Nabiki who were talking about how great it was that
school was over for the summer.  Suddenly, from upstairs came a shout of
joy.

	"YEEAAAAHHH!"  Screamed Ranma as he jumped down the stairs to the
floor below.  Three long strides later he was in the living room with his
father and the Tendos.

	"What is it Ranma?"  Asked Akane.  "What is all the yelling about?"

	"I just got this in the mail!"  He shouted, flashing an envelope.
"I, uh that is we have won a vacation!  A weeks food and lodging plus
airfare to and from Alaska for six people!  What do you think of that!"

Ranma 1/2 Goes Fishing

	I was getting ready to finish up my day at work when I met them.
Meeting tourists in Alaska for the first time is nothing new for me.  See,
I run the sporting goods department for a major west coast retailer here in
Soldotna, Alaska.  What startled me about these was the way I met them.

	I had just finished helping an older couple from Arizona get ready
to go to the Russian River after Sockeye Salmon.  I then heard a load
conversation, well, actually argument , in Japanese.  I don't speak
Japanese myself, but on of my co-workers does.  "Uh, Gordon?  Can you
understand what they are saying?"  Though we couldn't see the people yet,
they were obviously heading in our direction.

	Gordon cocked his ear for a minute and listened.  "Well, it seems
to be a boy and a girl arguing about something....wait a minute, she just
called him an idiot and a pervert....he just called her a uncute
tomboy....oh, here they come around the corner."

	Just then, a crowd of six people came around the corner, led by the
teen-aged couple that was doing all the arguing.  There were also two grown
men and two good looking young women.

	[Listen Akane, let's quit arguing.  Pops,  Mr. Tendo and I want to
do a little fishing while we are here.  They say this is the where the
biggest salmon in the world come from.  You, Nabiki and Kasumi can go on a
tour or something!]

	[You listen Ranma!  Nabiki and Kasumi do want to go on a tour, but
I want to go fishing.  So just live with it!]

	"Um, can we help you folks?"  I asked as they came up before the
counter.  I didn't figure I'd get an English response, but with Gordon
right there with me, I figured we could handle it.  I was quite surprised
when I was addressed in excellent English....better than my own if the
truth be told.

	"Yes, the three of us," the dark haired boy said, waving to
indicate the other two men.   He then looked at the youngest of the
girls...the one he had been arguing with.  She was glowering at him.  If I
didn't know better, I would have said she was glowing a bit too--bright
blue.  "I mean the four of us need to get set up to go fishing.  We are
here for a week and want to try out all the different kinds of fishing we
can."

	Oh, I do love it when someone talks like that.  We get a lot of
Japanese tourists, and quite a few of them are fanatical about going
fishing.  "Okay, so you want four complete set ups for Reds, Kings, and
trout.  Does that sound about right?"

	The short haired girl that had not said anything to this point
stepped forward.  "Hi, um,"  she said taking a quick look at my name tag,
"Bob.  Just exactly how much will all of that cost?"

	This girl seemed to be a shrewd operator.  Probably the one
controlling the purse strings for the group, judging by the way her voice
caught on the word 'cost'.  "Well, it depends on what quality of gear you
buy.  Is this a one shot thing, or will you be taking the gear home to use
again and again?"

	The boy spoke up again.   "This is a one shot deal.  We won a
vacation to Alaska, but I don't think we will be coming back again."

	Gordon wandered off about then to help some other customers.  I
spent the next hour (a fair bit of overtime) getting these newcomers set up
to do some fishing.  Explaining that it would be expensive to set up for
each species of fish for a one time vacation, I got them into basic Sockeye
(Red) Salmon combos.  I also set them up with some lightweight trout rods.
Since decent Chinook (King) Salmon gear is relatively expensive, they
decided not to buy any.  They also decided they didn't have enough cash for
all of them to go on a charter (the easiest way for a tourist to fish Kings
anyways).

	Finally, they were all set up and had paid for their purchases.
Ranma (I had been introduced to all of them by now) was pretty disappointed
that they wouldn't be able to go King fishing.  I decided to do something I
don't normally do.

	"Tell you guys what.  As of this very minute, I'm off for the next
few days.  My wife is up in the Interior doing some research, so I'd be
willing to take the four of you fishing with me tomorrow morning in my
boat.  What do you say?"  Looking back, this was probably not the wisest
choice I have ever made.

*******

	I picked up the four  the next morning at 4 am in front of my
store.  My wife had our Ford Expedition with her on her research trip, so I
was driving my F-250 Crew Cab Diesel.  Genma sat up front with me and Soun,
Ranma and Akane crawled into the back seat.  We trailered the boat on over
to The Pillars, a boat landing near my home.  We had no problem launching
the 20 ft Alumaweld Intruder, and after a quick safety lecture (mainly
showing everybody where the life vests were) we ran on upstream to a really
good spot I know.

	"Boy, " said Ranma, "I figured this river would be more crowded.  I
only see a few other boats."  He peered around into the lightening morning
looking at the sights.

	"Well, guides aren't allowed on the river until 6 am.  After that
is when we will be seeing more boats."   We were coming up to Falling in
Hole about then, so I eased back on the throttle and got us into position
for our first back troll.  "Okay, everybody pick up one of the rods near
you....Great, now unhook the lure from lower rod guide...Careful Genma,
those Gamakatsu hooks are sharp...Okay, there is a small bucket of salmon
roe by each one of you, just take one of the precut chunks and put it
through the loop near the upper hook."  About then I noticed that Akane was
balking at putting on the smelly salmon eggs.  "Hey Ranma, how about
helping out Akane.  She looks like she is having a bit of trouble."

	"What, me help that tomboy?  Besides, she wanted to come along, so
she can bait her own hook."

	"What did you call me!?!"  Akane began taking on that vague blue
glow I noticed the day before.

	"An uncute, unsexy tomboy!  Thats what!  You want to go fishing,
but you're afraid to bait your own hook!"  Suddenly, Akane sets her pole
down and reaches behind her back.  She whips out an evil looking wooden
mallet and hammers Ranma right on the noggin.  He seems to lose about two
inches of height in the seat.  I figure I better intervene...though it
takes a moment for my jaw to start working again.

	"Alright, that's enough you two.  I don't want a hole in my boat,
and I don't want to waste fishing time chasing down somebody that gets
knocked overboard.  And, pardon me for asking Akane, but where did that
mallet come from?"

	Akane looks at me innocently and says "What mallet?"  The mallet is
gone, and I have no idea where she could have gotten it or where it had
gone.

	While all of this is going on, Genma and Soun look on with
indifferent expressions, as if they are used to this.  Deciding I better
press on, I finish getting everybody set up (baiting Akane's rig myself)
and their lines in the water.  I then stream out my own pole and settle
down into the routine.

	After two three passes through Falling In Hole, I decide the fish
aren't their.  I tell everybody to reel their lines in.  "Go ahead and put
on fresh bait while I run down to the next hole.  Akane, I'll bait yours up
when I do mine."

	"Thanks, Bob, by the way what is the name of the next spot we are
going to?"

	"It's called Honeymoon Cove."

	"Perfect!"  Shout Genma and Soun in Unison.  "I don't suppose you
have a minister nearby do you?"  Asked Genma.

	"Watch it Pops!"  Snarled Ranma, "It's a cold morning to have wet
fur!"  Curious comment, that.  Genma looked like he was going to make an
issue of it, but backed down.

	As we started our first pass through Honeymoon Cove, the guide
boats started hitting the river.  I had understated things to Ranma by
saying we would see more boats.  Actually, there were a LOT more boats.
Most of them were Alumaweld Intruders like mine, or Willie Predators.  Both
are big, wide boats that make for a comfortable ride for the people on
board.  Though the Kenai River is limited to 35 horsepower motors (or
less), the wakes of a lot of boats moving can still throw you around a bit.
When we started the second pass through the hole, I noticed that Ranma was
looking a little green around the gills.

	"Uh, you okay Ranma?"  I asked.

	"Yeah, just  a little-"  Ranma turned to the side and began hurling
over the side of the boat.  I'm glad he had the presence of mind to face
over the side, as I hate having to hose out somebody's breakfast....

	"I told you not to eat so much this morning!"  Fumed Akane.  "You
baka!"

	Ranma finished his business, and turned to start yelling at Akane.
Just then
Ranma's rod bent double and his reel started screaming like a banshee.
"Okay,"  I said, "Everybody but Ranma reel up.  Ranma grab the rod with
both hands and set the hook like you mean it!"  I reached behind me and
grabbed my rod and started reeling.  I also kicked my Evinrude outboard
into neutral.  Ranma did a great hook set, then waited for instructions.
"Ranma, just keep the line tight, reeling in as the fish comes closer.
Don't put too much pressure on it yet, until everybody has got their line
in."  I looked around and saw that everybody had their poles in now.  I
finished reeling mine in and turned to Genma.

	"Genma, grab that big net and extend the handle.  Then hold it
straight up with the butt of the handle on the floor.  That will let the
other boats know that we have a fish on and they will get out of our way.
Since I'm running the boat, you will have to net the fish."  Genma nodded.
I turned the boat sideways to the current to hasten our trip downstream.
The king was still ripping line off of Ranma's reel.  "Okay, Ranma, tighten
the drag slightly....good, now reel as you drop the rod tip just a
little....now pull up on the rod tip again....now reel down...excellent,
keep that up, but be careful not to snap the pole or the line!"

	We fought the King for about fifteen minutes, and drifted by
several guide friends of mine.  They all gave thumbs up and shouted
encouragement to Ranma as we went by.  Ranma was loving it, being the
center of attention and fighting a great fish.  Finally, he got the fish up
to the boat as we came to a sharp corner in the river down by Eagle's Rock.


	I really had to watch the boat to keep from either hitting the bank
or another boat in that spot.  Though the rules of the river were to get
out of the way of somebody with a fish on, there just aren't many places to
go on that corner.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Genma dip the net
into the water.  I looked around to see a big wake coming right at us.
"Nuts, hang on you might get a little wet when that wake hits us!"  I
shouted.

	Just as the side of the boat dipped down into the wake, the King
went into the net.  I heard Genma grunt as he started to pull the salmon
out of the water.  I also heard the salmon do the normal thing--go berserk
and start splashing.  I heard a heavy thump meaning the fish was in, so I
kicked the motor into gear and steered upstream.

	Now that we were no longer drifting, I could spare some attention
to my passengers.  Once again my mouth fell open in shock.  In the place of
Ranma and Genma there was a drop dead gorgeous red head girl, and a Panda!
The Panda was holding onto the net and trying to kill the fish with a fish
thumper.  The girl had her arms crossed and was glaring at the Panda.  I
was so shocked I almost run down a 14' Starcraft.

	Akane looked at me and took pity.  "Perhaps we should explain...."

*********

	"Let me get this straight.   When Ranma gets splashed with cold
water he turns into  a girl.  Genma gets turned into a Panda?"  I felt a
major league headache coming on.

	"That's right.  Hot water, or at least hot liquid changes them back."

	Grabbing a thermos out from under the console, I handed it to
Akane.  "This is some hot coffee.  Please change them back.  I really don't
want one of the guys with Fish and Feathers (local slang, it is used for
the Alaska Department of Fish and Game) to see a Panda in my boat.  I don't
know what the penalty is for harboring exotic wildlife without a permit,
and I don't want to find out!"

*********

	It took a while, but I adapted to my new friends.  We fished most
of the rest of the day, but only caught one more fish.  At the weigh in
Ranma's King Salmon went 68lbs 9 oz.  Akane's was 74lbs 2 oz.  Ranma was
not happy.

	"Ranma, that is a poor attitude to have.  Lots of people come to
Alaska and never get to catch a King at all, let alone one as nice as
that!"

	"Yeah, but this tomboy will probably never let me live down the
fact that she caught a bigger fish than me!"

	"Who are you calling a tomboy !?!"  That mysterious mallet appeared
again, and Ranma was struck...again.

	"Tell you guys what.  I'm going up to the Russian River tomorrow to
try to bag some Red Salmon.  They just raised the bag limit to six fish per
person by emergency order.  You want to go?"

	Will I ever learn?

Once Again, C&C is greatly appreciated.  Thanks for taking the time to read
this!

Big Bore and the Nitro Express!


Visit Bob and Tanya's Alaskan Homepage at
www.geocities.com/Yosemite/Trails/5144