Zen is kicking back in his dorm room on Academy, wondering how to kill a
few hours til bedtime. Briefly, he considers working on one of his fics,
but it is revenge season again. Looking around the dorm room, with a
poignant pause at the rather androgynous wardrobe that his present
condition requires, Zen decides that he has been revenged enough, thanks.
Thinking that maybe he'd log into the 3WA Central computer for a quick game
of Global Thermonuclear War, Zen is interrupted by the doorchime.
Zen: Come in...
The door opens, and Kei and Yuri wander in.
Kei: Heya, Zen... guess what?
Zen: <suspicious> What?
Yuri: <brightly> It's Revenge Season!
Zen: <groaning> No, it's Duck Season!
Yuri: Duck Season? No... it's Revenge Season.
Zen: <patiently> If YOU'RE Revenging, then Zen is Ducking. Duck Season.
Kei: <rolls eye> THAT joke has more hair on it than...
Zen: Your...
Yuri: <menacing> DON'T go there...
Zen: <sighs> Okay... so what did Zen do THIS time?
Kei: Not a lot. That's the problem. You've been slacking off on your stories.
Zen: Eh?
Yuri: We've been getting a lot of complaints that one of your fics is WAY
behind schedule... So we figured that if you weren't going to do what you
were *supposed* to do with your copious spare time, that we'd come up with
something else for you.
Zen: <notices data cartridge in Yuri's hand... pales> You don't mean...
Kei: <grinning evilly> That's right! Fanfic Reviews! Until you get back
to work!
Zen: <turning frantically to terminal> Zen is working! Zen is working!
Yuri: <sweetly> Too late, Zen-chan... you're gonna HAVE to do this one,
just so that you know we mean business...
Kei moves toward the terminal and slides the data cart into the reader.
She presses a button, and the screen blanks, and text and images start to
scroll.
Zen: <whimper>
At 8:04 10/8/97, Robert Morrison wrote:
Zen: <relaxes slightly> This might not be too bad...
Foreword: This is where I *really* begin to take some creative liberties.
If I manage to screw anything up *too* badly, be sure to flag me on it.
Special thanks to Jorge Pratt, who provided some much-needed missing info,
and gave some great plot suggestions for this act, helping me shape the
coming chapters more smoothly.
Zen: <startled> More creative than killing off Hikaru and shoving her
into Ranma's body?
Yuri: <darkly> At least when HE kills them, he brings them *back*...
Zen: <sweatdrop>
Chapter 19: Quests
Akane, Ryouga, Ukyou, Mousse, and Shampoo stood gathered in Presea's
Armory, along with the master weaponsmith herself, Clef, and Cologne.
"You'll all be pleased to know that I've located the Escudo,"
Presea said.
"Unfortunately, it's on the other side of Cephiro."
Zen: <Maxwell Smart Voice> Ahh, the old "Good News / Bad News trick...
Third time... Ite!
Kei: <waves @Bap-stick in warning> Hey, you... Eighty-six the Don Adams
Jokes...
Zen: ...
Everyone groaned. They knew just how big Cephiro was.
"However," Presea said, "By caravan, we can cover the distance in
under a
week."
The young warriors blinked. "Caravan?"
Zen: From Dodge. The industry's safest minivan...
Kei: <warning tone> Zen...
Zen: Though, wouldn't a Quest be more appropriate?
Yuri: <suspicious> Another Van?
Zen: <nodding> Yes... though it makes sense... none of them have an older
brother.
Yuri: <taking the bait, knowing she'll regret it> What has THAT got to do
with it?
Zen: <innocently> No Niisan!
Kei: <groans and stalks over to the replicator for snacks>
Presea grinned. "I've had Prince Ferio arrange for transportation," she
said.
Clef interrupted. "I can summon several land-roaming seijyu, which can
pull wagons," he said. "Ferio will provide the wagons."
"Clef, Cologne, and myself will be accompanying you," Presea continued.
"I'm taking along a special wagon, so that I can craft your weapons as soon
as you retreive the Escudo."
Kei: <mouth full of popcorn> That'd have to be a *big* wagon...
The warriors were agreeable to that prospect. "Clef and I will be
coming
along," Cologne said, "to train you during the hours in which we are not
traveling."
Zen: Ahh...
Yuri: DON'T
Zen: <oblivious> A Wagon Train....
Kei: <whaps Zen> THAT was a warning...
"So where's the Escudo?" Ukyou asked.
Presea picked up a pointer and tapped a map hanging on the wall.
"It's in
the tunnel system of the Wasteworms, south of Edosel Canyon, in the
wastelands of Cephiro."
Clef frowned. "That's dangerous territory, especially in the tunnels
themselves."
Zen: <Chichiri voice> Well Duh, no duh!
Kei: <Whaps Zen> Cut that out!
Presea nodded. "Hai, it is. You'll all have to be extra-careful. In the
wastes of Cephiro dwell giant carrion worms...and they don't particularly
care if their meals are dead yet or not."
Zen: So they keep carrion on...
Yuri: ugh. I son't know which is worse... that joke, or the worms...
The five martial artists gulped.
"Not to worry, though. You have your weapons, your fighting skills, and
your magic. You should be alright. The Escudo is buried in the Nest region
of the tunnels. You'll have to be on guard at all times while retrieving
it. Find it, and make it out of the tunnels, and I'll make your weapons."
Zen: Anou... what weapons do they have? Have they chosen their temps already?
Kei: <pats her BFG-1500> They need one of THESE babies...
Yuri: <scornful> It wouldn't have to be that big, if you knew how to *use*
it...
Zen: ...
Kei: Oh? Shall we find out? I'll show you how to use...
Zen: Look at that!
Ferio entered. "The wagons are ready."
Yuri: Look at what? It's just Ferio...
Ryouga raised a fist to the sky. "Let's do it!" The group cheered an
affirmative, and filed out to the wagons.
Kei: Whoa... harsh transition... Maybe a scene-break would go well here...
Yuri: Or maybe a short commercial, so the reader could go to the restroom...
Zen: ...
Lantis looked around appreciatively at the buildings in Tokyo. "So
this is
the other world," he mused.
"That's right," Fuu said.
Lantis smiled. "Reminds me a little of Autozam," he said. "Only not as
bright, I think."
Umi's brow furrowed. "Autozam?"
Lantis nodded. "It's one of the worlds neighboring Cephiro," he said.
"When Guru Cologne was talking about the technology here, it reminded me of
Autozam, although they use different sources of power than
this...electricity."
Zen: Dilithium Crystals?
"What's it like?" Ranma asked.
"It has many buildings, and carriages which move themselves, and lights
that do not require fire or magic."
"Sounds like Earth," Umi mused.
"It's similar," Lantis admitted, "except that nature has been
completely
eliminated there. As a result, the planet suffers from choking pollution
which grows worse by the year."
Kei: Nope. NOT Dilithium Crystals...
Zen: Then their environment was a victim of battery...
Yuri: <moans>
Kei: <smirking evilly> Look Zen, if you want to *really* make a girl
moan... <whispers in Zen's ear>
Zen: <pales - sweatdrops>
Fuu nodded. "Earth is beginning to have similar problems. Large
corporations are destroying its forests and jungles, and filling the air
and water with toxic chemicals. Some people are trying hard to combat it,
but..." she shrugged.
Zen: Wow... Sermon...
Kei: It *is* kinda preachy... oh well, at least they're not blaming *us*!
Umi frowned. "Yeah...after seeing how beautiful Cephiro is, it makes me
appreciate things I used to take for granted...the things that are being
torn apart by people here."
Yuri: They're just too concerned about Fencing Tournaments, don'cha know...
Zen: Now now, be nice... She's learned a lot since then...
Ranma nodded. "I know what you mean. I spent a lot of my time in the
wilderness over the last decade, training with my Pop. We've only been back
in the Tokyo area for a year now. When I was in China, I didn't see many
places where stuff had been cut down or paved over. It was nice. Clean air,
water you could drink without having to boil it first..."
Zen: So... this is an ALTERNATE Earth, ne? Drink water in China without
boiling? With all those yaks around? Not in *this* lifetime... <<bleah>>
Kei: <turning green> Thanks a lot, Zen. <looks at the soda in her hand,
shrugs, and chugs>
The three natives of Earth sighed. Lantis shook his head.
"Unbelievable,
that people could be so destructive to their own world..."
Yuri: Well *that's* cute - coming from a world where the 'pillar' abdicated...
The group continued on in silence for a while, until they reached the
train station.
"We're going to need supplies, if we're going to have to go to China,"
Ranma said as the group sat down on a vacant bench some distance from the
ticket windows.
Zen: What about the Magic Rabbit? It carried all the supplies last time!
Kei: There *is* that... Maybe it doesn't work on Earth?
Yuri: Oh, Pu.
Zen & Kei: <sweatdrop>
Fuu nodded. "Also, there's one other thing: we're in our own world
now, so
time is going to pass."
Umi nodded. "Which means our families are going to be sick with worry
about us."
Ranma frowned, and rubbed his chin. "The two of you live in the Juuban
area, right?"
Kei: Juuban? Hey, isn't that where those Bimbos in the skimpy outfits
fight all those monsters?
Zen: ...
Kei: What are YOU lookin' at, Zen-CHAN!? <waves soda threateningly>
Zen: <innocent look> Nothing... nothing...
Kei: ...
Fuu nodded. "Hai, Ranma-san."
"Hikaru lives there too, I recall..." Ranma paused to think for a
moment.
"Mokona?"
"Puu?"
"Do you think you can create some documents that look official
enough to
convince Umi and Fuu's families that they're going to China as exchange
students?"
Mokona considered this for a moment. "Puuuuuuuuu......" it said at
length,
and the jewel on its forehead flashed. Then, a pair of folders materialized
on the bench beside it. Ranma picked up the folders, and examined their
contents. He grinned. "This'll definitely do it," he said. He handed the
two girls a folder each. "Excellent work, Mokona-san," Fuu said.
Zen: "Each of the girls a folder" would sound more natural...
Kei: AND it's bad form to have multiple speakers in one paragraph.
Yuri: <looks suspicious> Who are you and what did you do with the real Kei?
Kei: Hey!
"I take back a third of the bad things I ever said about you,
Mokona," Umi
said. Mokona beamed.
Zen: Nabiki'd like Umi... always hedging her bets...
"Okay, here's the plan," Ranma said. "You two should go see your
families,
and tell them you'll be away for a while. Meet back at the Tendou Dojo in
Nerima, and we'll stay there until we've got everything we need for the
trip."
Zen: Yo, Ranma! Weren't you watching? <points at Rabbit> You got Harvey
there.
Yuri: Hate to admit it, but this *does* seem inconsistent...
Mokona tuned the group out for a moment, scanning the ticket
windows. It
frowned in concentration. Meanwhile, Fuu asked, "What about you, Ranma-san?
What will you be doing while we're with our families?"
Ranma's face became unreadable. "Taking care of some business," he
said.
As an afterthought, he added, "Lantis...you'll be with me." The swordsman
nodded.
Yuri: Well, THAT was mysterious... HAS Ranma got any rivals left on Earth
to deal with?
Zen: <shrugs> Dunno... <looks at display> And Zen is willing to bet
it'll be at LEAST another chapter before anyone finds out.
Kei: <Growls> It had better NOT be a LONG wait...
Zen: <hmphs> Maybe YOU can 'persuade' Morrison-san to finish "Faux
Existance" while you're at it...
Suddenly, Mokona began chattering rapidly, as it bounced up and
down. The
rest of the group looked at it in confusion. "What's it doing?" Lantis
wondered.
Zen: Obviously not trying to remain inconspicuous...
Kei: <grins>
Mokona's jewel began flashing, and four wallets appeared on the
bench. One
was red, one was green, one was blue, and one was black. It began gesturing
>from the wallets to each of the four warriors respectively. "These are for
us, Mokona-san?" Fuu asked.
Kei: No doubt about it. She's the clever one...
"Puu!" Mokona nodded. It shoved the green wallet towards Fuu with its
foot. It then shoved the red one towards Ranma.
"I get it!" Ranma said. "The blue one's for Umi, then, and the
black one
is for Lantis."
Zen: <Chichiri voice> Well duh, no duh...
Kei: Whaps Zen harder. I TOLD you to cut that out!
"Puu!" The four retrieved their respective wallets. Umi looked inside
hers, and gasped. "What the--? Where'd you come up with all this, Mokona?"
She produced a sizeable wad of yen from the wallet.
Yuri: No doubt about it. She's NOT the clever one...
Fuu looked around for a moment, and her eyes caught on the ticket
windows.
"I see," she mused. "Mokona-san provided us with train fare," she said.
Counting hers, she added, "And a little extra."
"Puu."
"Sugoi, Mokona!" Umi said. "I take back another third of the mean
things I
ever said about you."
Kei: Only one more third to go... Then she;ll have to start on the bad
things she's GOING to say about that... thing...
The group wrapped up their plans for the day, while Mokona hopped
around
acting cute.
Zen: <drawing blaster>
Yuri: Zen! All that'll do is blow up the monitor...
Zen: <sighs> Drat... and it was gonna be *such* an easy shot...
After Umi and Fuu boarded their train, Lantis and Ranma spent some time
making plans. Both knew what a long wilderness hike entailed, having been
on them many times. While they talked, Mokona began grimacing, as though it
was constipated. Ranma noticed, and frowned. "Mokona? What's wrong?"
Zen: It can't manage to forge a token for the pay toilet?
Yuri: Eeeeewww!
"Puuu...." Mokona said, its voice strangled. It shuddered
violently for a
moment, and then began to hunch down. It looked for all the world like the
egg-shaped rabbit was going to relieve itself. Ranma glanced around
nervously, hoping nobody was watching.
Suddenly, there was a loud *pop*, and something glitterly tumbled away
>from Mokona, bounced twice on the ground, and fluttered up into Lantis's
hair, hiding. Ranma blinked.
Zen: Eeeeeeeewwwwww!
Mokona, for its part, looked immensely relieved.
"Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu," it
said.
"You sure did," Ranma remarked, earning a glare from the creature.
Zen: <glares at Ranma> Oh, wot the hell... Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaah ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha!
Kei: I *hate* pungent humour... **oof**
Yuri: <elbowing Kei in the ribs> Stop that. You're starting to sound like Zen.
Zen: HEY!
Meanwhile, a tiny voice rang out from Lantis's hair, "Laaaannntiiisss! Did
you see what that horrible creature did to me?"
Lantis blinked. "Primera?" Oddly, he realized that there had not been a
trace of the fairy since they'd arrived on Earth.
Zen, Kei & Yuri: Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww....
"It aaaaate meeeeeeeee!!!!" Primera wailed. "Kiiiilllll iiiiit,
pleeeeeaaaaaaase?"
Kei: Yes!
Ranma rolled his eyes. Mokona acted cute.
Zen: Yes! Please?
Lantis sighed. "Primera, please, calm down. We're on another
world, and I
don't think they believe in fairies here."
Zen: Huh. YOU'VE never been to San Francisco...
Kei: Well, YOU'D fit RIGHT in, Zen... <splashes Zen with soda>
Zen-chan: <glares at Kei> ...
This only served to make Primera cry more.
"Primera," Ranma said, "if I make Mokona promise not to eat you
anymore,
will you stop crying and calm down?"
There was a pause in the wailing. "If it *promises*," Primera said.
"Puu," Mokona offered solemnly.
"Sounds like a promise to me," Ranma said. Lantis idly wondered how the
martial artist understood Mokona.
Yuri: Dimwit. Hikaru did, so Ranma can.
Kei: Don't get so worked up, Yuri. He's *only* a man...
Zen-chan: ...
"So, what do we do now?" Lantis asked.
Ranma looked apprehensive for a moment, then said, "First, I need
a cup of
cold water. Then, we have a family to reunite." Without warning, Ranma
slipped out of consciousness.
Kei: Time out! And they go into a huddle...
<Ranma-kun...what are you planning?>
<I got to thinkin', Hikaru...it just ain't right. I mean, you miss your
family. I know you do. And it sucks that they don't know you're still
alive.>
<But...it's too complicated. How can I...?>
<Hikaru...I spent ten years of my life away from my mom. When I
came back
home, I couldn't let her know I was back, even when we were in the same
room, because of the stupid promise my old man made. I...haven't been able
to see her, as her son, even when she came to the Tendou dojo to visit.>
Yuri: Awwwwwww... that's so sweet!
Zen-chan: It *is*, isn't it? Alright, who are you and what did you do with
the REAL Ranma?
<Ranma-kun...>
<You...you just, gotta be with your family, Hikaru. Even if it's
just for
a little while. To let them know you're alive. I don't wanna see them hurt
the same way I see my mom hurt when she doesn't find me at the dojo. I...I
don't wanna see you hurt, either. I know you miss 'em. You can be with
them. There's not any kind of stupid promise hangin' over your head.>
<Ranma-kun...I don't know what to say...>
<Say you'll go let your brothers and your mom know you're alive.>
<...I'll do it. Ranma-kun? Thanks.>
<No problem, Hikaru.>
Zen-chan: Well, aside from the fact that She'll have to go back to the dojo
to live, and that she's about to go off to China...
Yuri: You think her parents would let her go?
Kei: <shrugs> We'll see... If it weren't Ranma, I'd say he had a plan...
A pair of red eyes blinked open, to find Mokona and Lantis peering into
them intently. "Sorry about that," Hikaru, in male form, said sleepily.
Zen-chan: These two *really* need to get a multi-tasking OS...
"Just a little conference." Mokona pushed a small flask of water across the
bench. "Thank you, Mokona," Hikaru said, and upended the flask over
himself. Now in the more comfortable female form, Hikaru stretched. "Okay,
let's see about catching a train," she said, and shuffled off to the ticket
booth.
Kei: Oi! You! Yes, you! The Writer! You could use a scene break
thingie here!
Deep in the Qinghai province of China, something stirred. It sensed the
presence of the One it had waited millenia to meet.
As it stirred, its power began to turn inward. It had settled far
too long
in this place, and had unwillingly become part of the land itself. It would
take a tremendous amount of its own power to restore itself so that it
could present itself upon the arrival of the One and issue its test of
Heart.
Zen-chan: Oooh. Hope Ranma has studied for this test...
Yuri: <Baps Zen-chan> Philistine
Zen-chan: <rubbing head> That's MISS Phyllis Steen to you...
It became vaguely aware that something outside of the shell of
rock it had
become encased in was siphoning its power. It struggled to sever the link,
and realized with irritation that it was going to take a great deal of
doing.
Zen-chan: Water's like that... insidious stuff...
Kei: <grins>
The source of the drain was a large spring atop the mountain. Bracing
itself for the effort, and sighing at the amount of power it would have to
expend, it began to exude more heat through the connection than it had been
for all these centuries. It was going to take some time, but the spring
would eventually evaporate...and then, it could concentrate on the task of
repairing itself.
Zen-chan: Go to Volume 38 - Go directly to Volume 38 - do not pass go, do
not collect 20,000 yen...
Kei: Well, THAT was interesting...
Yuri: I *liked* it. Nice job, Lurker-san!
Zen-chan: Oh, so did Zen... things are really gonna start getting
interesting now. But if they are gonna be heading to Mount Phoenix... you
think there's gonna be a cure for Ranma and Hikaru?
Kei: Naaaaah. That'd be too easy. Still, with magic water...
Zen-chan: <growling> DON'T remind Zen...
Kei: <oblivious> and HOT magic water at that...
Zen-chan: <grabs bowl of popcorn and upends it over Kei's head>
Kei: Hey! <taps replicator for a tin of chocolate syrup, and dumps it on
Zen-chan>
Yuri: <moving away from the scrapping pair> Well... If Zen doesn't get
back to work on his... er... HER fics, we'll be back soon...
Zen-chan dumps hot caramel on Kei, followed by more popcorn. Kei looks
like she's been tarred and feathered, and is reaching for the custard pie
on the replicator stage...
Yuri: Bye, y'all! <bolts for the door>
Fade to black on scene of total culinary carnage...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
Zen no Itan-sha
(Always wanted to do one of these...)