Hmm.... It's EVA, so that's one point in its favor. ^_^ One
question; where does this take place within the anime storyline? Between
episodes 17 and 18?
	A few plot points, though: the birthdays of the Children,
according to "official" sources (meaning character books and the like that
the Gainax writers released) are nowhere near each other in reality. That
bit about them being born "nine months after the Second Impact" turns out
to be BS. I don't know why, but that's how it is. For example, I think
Touji is born around 15 months after the Second Impact. The only one who
does fit into the time schedule is Shinji...I think. I'm not sure. I'll go
take a look at the EVA ML faq sometime.
	Somehow, I don't quite see Ritsuko popping off like that at
Misato...or Misato joking so much about age. <shrug> But that's kind of
minor.
	You might want to include translations of the longer Japanese
phrases that you use. I _think_ that Rei and Gendou are saying, "Happy
birthdaym Shinji," but I'm not quite sure.
	Otherwise, it seems to be a nice start. I agree about Gendou,
though I still don't like him much.... And Shinji is a cool guy. Looking
forward to the next parts...though I'm not at all familiar with Teknoman.

>From Andrew Huang, brought to you by his computer, Oddzilla
Oddzilla says, "Mmmmm...Evanjellydonut...."
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/
Harvard Anime Society, Secretary