This is C&C in more ways than one....

Christopher Angel, God of Moments (Oh! My Brother!)
and
Crimson, a Shieldsman (Shieldsman)

Fiction Reviews.

Lurker: Wai! I'm getting MSTed again!  ^_^

*************************

[Scene opens on a movie theater.  From one door, in comes Crimson.  In

the

other, enters Christopher.  They head for their seats, and stop when they
see each other.  They break out in grins and point at each other.]

Both: YOU!  I loved you in-

Chris: Shieldsman!
Crimson: [at same time] Oh! My Brother!

Chris: Wait, aren't you dead?

Crimson: Aren't you the author?

Booming Voice: Is the mutual appreciation society done? We have a fic to
review.

Chris: HE's the author.

Crimson: [shrugging] Whatever.

Lurker: There's a simple way enough to solve this...<opens a small pouch,
and a furry, multilegged rabbit-like critter hops out, and bounces from
Crimson's head to Chris's head and back again. A young girl with dark hair
and a *big* hammer runs into the room, shouting "Let me at it!", and lets
loose with the hammer, bashing the critter on Chris's head. Chris falls
down.>

Skuld: <realizing who she hit and getting embarrassed> Ack! Gomen nasai!

	Some believe the universe is run by a gigantic computer system.
Invariably, this system screws up. Usually it's not a big deal, but
sometimes it has disatrous consequences.

Chris: [shudders] Like that whole Lemon Sherbert thing....oh, wait, you
didn't hear that Crimson.

Crimson: <sweatdrop>

Lurker: <snicker>

Skuld: <pouting> Hey! It's not our fault things get messed up sometimes! We
do the best we can!

Lurker: <piku> Oi, Skuld...how the heck did you wind up in *my* crew booth
anyway?

Skuld: <lecturing tone> It has something to do with the fact that you just
got finished watching all five Aa! Megami-sama OAVs without stopping.

Lurker: Oh. Yeah, that could do it.

	Say, for instance, that somewhere, a computer is monitoring the
distribution of special abilities handed down to special people, whose
purpose in life has already been fated: the people we refer to as
superheroes. 
	Generally, the system makes sure that the right abilities go to the

right

heroes at the right time and place.
	However, no system is completely foolproof.

Crimson: Living proof sitting right beside me.

Chris: HEY!

Lurker: Ne, Skuld...shouldn't you whack red-boy upside the head there?

Skuld: <shakes her head> Nah. This is too funny.

	"What is that?" Usagi asked.
	"It's your destiny," Luna said. "Wear this pendant, and repeat after

me:

Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!"
	Usagi did as she was asked. Nothing happened. "Well, now that we have
*that* out of our system..." Usagi smirked.

Crimson: Since when was Usagi a smart-alec?

Lurker: She has her moments...

	Standing in the center of the store was a young woman, probably a
teenager. She wore knee-high red boots with crescent moon emblems near

the

tops, and long white gloves with red trim. She also wore a mask which
covered her entire head. The mask itself was white, but the front had a
large golden ornament shaped like a crescent moon, which covered her

lower

face, and curved around her eyes, which were visible through shielded
openings in the mask. 
	Aside from that, she was completely nude. 

Crimson: <speechless>

Chris: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Hey, I didn't know Usagi was a
natural blonde.

Skuld: <grabs her hammer> Hentai!!!

Crimson: It's....EVIL!  [starts to snicker]  Funny though.

Lurker: <grins, but the grin is wiped off his face when he takes a
telescoping mallet head to the nose> Ite...

Skuld: Hmph! <retracts mallet>

	After her speech, she hissed out of the side of her mouth, "Luna, I

swear

when this is over I'm going to *kill* you."
	In the shadows of the store, the black cat bigsweated. 

Chris: Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Crimson: I bet they're overjoyed they have masks.

Lurker: Not that it's actually going to do any good if anyone ever notices
those pendants of theirs...

	Kekko Moon grabbed the black cat and strangled her. "DO I LOOK LIKE I

HAVE

A TIARA!?"

Both: Nope!

Skuld: <growls and starts building a Really Big Friggin' Mallet>

	"Gimme a minute. It's stuck," Kekko Moon said. She arched her back,

and

raised one leg to the sky. The youma saw a glint of silver between her
legs. Kekko Moon began pulling at it. 
	Several seconds later, the youma, Naru, and Luna all stared in shock.
Kekko Moon blinked at the four-foot long, shimmering silver rapier in

her

hand. Its hilt was a golden crescent moon. "How the--!?" 
	"Didn't that *hurt*?" the youma asked.

Chris:  That gives whole new meaning to "it's not the size that counts"

Crimson: It's how you use it.

Lurker: <snicker>

Skuld: <scowls, and adds an electrocution mechanism to her RBFM>

	"What--?" the youma wondered as it recovered its senses. Kekko Moon

dived

into a forward flip. "FULL MOON!" she shouted. In the middle of the

flip,

a

beam of light shot from between her legs, tearing through the youma and
disintegrating it. Kekko Moon landed on her feet, and blinked. Luna

emerged

from the shadows. 

Crimson: Now THAT's a special attack!

Lurker: If you ask me, it was just a flash in the pan...

	Ami flushed. *What kind of pervert is she!?*

Chris: One that's having a better time fighting monsters than some other
Senshi we all know and love.

Crimson: Rei is going to KILL me...

Skuld: <mutters> not if I beat her to it... <bangs away at the engine
powering her RBFM>

	The youma had been warned about this, and was trying in vain to ignore

the

strangeness of it. Ami, however, gaped in shock as Kekko Moon extracted

her

silver rapier from her...Ami winced in pain at the *thought* of that.

Chris:  You know, if it's four feet long...

Crimson: Don't go there.

Chris:...that would mean that the end has got to be....

Crimson: DON'T GO THERE.  [Brains Chris with his shield.]

Lurker: <snicker>

	"Yes! There's no time for this. You are the senshi of Mercury. You

must

use this pendant to transform, and help Kekko Moon!"
	Ami frowned in confusion. "I don't understand..."
	The cat sighed. "My name is Luna. I'm a guardian and advisor to the
Sa...the *Kekko* Senshi," she amended, turning slightly red. "When the
youma tried to kill you, the sigil of Mercury appeared on your

forehead.

That marks you as the warrior of the planet Mercury. Now, quickly, take
that pendant, and say "Mercury Flash!"
	From across the room, Kekko Moon screamed. The youma laughed

maniacally.

Ami frowned, and picked up the pendant. "Mercury Flash!"

Chris:  You know, considering what Kekko Moon looks like, she's taking

the

prospect of becoming one of them awfully well.

Lurker: Well, it's better than letting someone get killed, ne?

Crimson: Yeah, I would have run screaming.

Lurker: She probably will after the shock fades away.

Chris:  I wonder what the Kekko Shieldsman is like.  [disappears and
reappears three rows away]

Crimson: [bringing his shield down where Chris once sat.] DON'T GO THERE.

Skuld: <blinks, ponders that for a moment, blushes *really* hard, and
returns to work on her RBFM>

	Suddenly, a nervous, *very* embarrassed voice rang out. "Shouben

Spray!"

The youma looked up, startled, as a thick, pungent yellow fog filled

the

room.
	Kekko Moon's nose wrinkled. "Eeew, what is that *smell*?" Hearing the
youma grunt and shuffle off, she reached down and picked up her sword.

Chris: [standing up, looking towards the back of the theater.] Hmm...yep.

Thought so.

Crimson: [greenish] What?

Chris: Well, we crossed the line into poor taste at the beginning of this
farce...

Crimson: [takes a couple Akla Seltzer] And?

Chris:  Well, we just crossed the line into no taste.  Seriously, this

was

RUDE.  Take it out and change it.

Lurker: Oh, come on. That joke was just waiting to happen...

Crimson: [punching one fist into the other]  He better be NICE to Rei....
 

Lurker: <evil grin>

	Moon sighed, and reversed her transformation, grateful for the school
uniform which covered her body. Kekko Mercury blinked. "Usagi-chan!?"
	Usagi nodded. Mercury fell off the desk.

Crimson: It's EVIL! Kill it! Kill it! Make it dead!

Chris: Oh, come on, it's funny.

Crimson: YOUR girlfriend isn't going to kill you for reviewing this...

Chris: Why would she be mad...you said you hated it..right?

Crimson:  Well it wasn't all bad....mostly just the Mercury part.

Chris: True.  That was far...FAR too rude.  Other than that, I like it. 
I'd say keep going, if you fix the Mercury stuff.

Crimson:  Yeah, this should be funny, not...SICK.

Lurker: Well, guys, sorry to say this, but the Mercury part stays. It's too
good a joke to let go to waste.

Skuld: <throws a lever. The Really Big Friggin Mallet chugs and sputters,
sparks a couple times, then begins to descend toward Chris, Crimson, and
Lurker. Suddenly, it jerks to a halt, and flings itself backward. Skuld
does the Tokyo Shuffle for all of 1.5 seconds before being squished.>

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Zankoku na tenshi no TEEZE
Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu
Hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de
Omoide wo uragiru nara
Kono sora wo daite kagayaku
Shounen yo shinwa ni nare

The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

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