This is C&C in more ways than one....

Christopher Angel, God of Moments (Oh! My Brother!)
and
Crimson, a Shieldsman (Shieldsman)

Fiction Reviews.

*************************

[Scene opens on a movie theater.  From one door, in comes Crimson.  In the
other, enters Christopher.  They head for their seats, and stop when they
see each other.  They break out in grins and point at each other.]

Both: YOU!  I loved you in-

Chris: Shieldsman!
Crimson: [at same time] Oh! My Brother!

Chris: Wait, aren't you dead?

Crimson: Aren't you the author?

Booming Voice: Is the mutual appreciation society done? We have a fic to
review.

Chris: HE's the author.

Crimson: [shrugging] Whatever.

	Some believe the universe is run by a gigantic computer system.
Invariably, this system screws up. Usually it's not a big deal, but
sometimes it has disatrous consequences.

Chris: [shudders] Like that whole Lemon Sherbert thing....oh, wait, you
didn't hear that Crimson.

Crimson: <sweatdrop>

	Say, for instance, that somewhere, a computer is monitoring the
distribution of special abilities handed down to special people, whose
purpose in life has already been fated: the people we refer to as
superheroes. 
	Generally, the system makes sure that the right abilities go to the

right

heroes at the right time and place.
	However, no system is completely foolproof.

Crimson: Living proof sitting right beside me.

Chris: HEY!

	In Juuban, a girl named Osaka Naru was screaming for help, as a demonic
creature which had impersonated her mother mercilessly attacked her,
hell-bent on draining her of her precious life energy.

Crimson: All those suprised? [looks around]  Didn't think so.

	Across town, a black cat with a crescent moon on its forehead revealed a
precious secret to a young girl with long hair tied up in odango: the

fact

that she could speak.
	"Listen to me, Usagi," the cat said. "My name is Luna..."
	"No way! A talking cat! It's not possible!"

Chris: Deals well with the obvious, doesn't she?

Crimson: You have NO idea...

	Luna sighed. "Usagi, listen to me, this is important! Your friend Naru

is

in danger!"
	This brought Usagi up short. "Wha? Naru-chan? What...?"
	"There's no time for this!" the cat snapped, and leapt into the air,

doing

a backflip. A crescent-moon shaped pendant appeared in midair, and fell

to

the bed. Luna stared at it, blinking. "Odd...it was supposed to be a
brooch..."
	"What is that?" Usagi asked.
	"It's your destiny," Luna said. "Wear this pendant, and repeat after me:
Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!"
	Usagi did as she was asked. Nothing happened. "Well, now that we have
*that* out of our system..." Usagi smirked.

Crimson: Since when was Usagi a smart-alec?

	Luna sweated. "I...I don't understand. That was supposed...you're

supposed

to be..."
	"Supposed to be *what*?"
	Luna blinked. "I know it's you. You're supposed to be Sailor Moon! You
should have transformed into the warrior of the Moon Kingdom!"
	Usagi snorted. "Yeah, whatever..."
	"You must believe me! It's true! Would I make up something like that?"
	Usagi shrugged. "I think this is all just a weird dream anyway."
	Luna shook her head. "No...you *must* try again! Please!"
	Usagi sighed. "If I do, will you shut up and go away?" Luna nodded,
growing a sweatdrop. Usagi smirked, and began to shout, "Moon Prism..."
then she stopped, and shook her head, as if to clear it. "Wait...that's

not

right," she said. Luna blinked. "Something...I feel words...I'm just not
sure..."
	Luna's eyes widened. "Usagi, whatever the words are, say them! Quickly!"
	Usagi nodded, and clutched her pendant. "Moon...FLASH!"
	The room exploded in blinding light...

Chris: Right about now, I had that sinking feeling.

Crimson: That's because your chair's broken.

Chris: Really? [gets up and moves]  No, even without the ecchi tag I
expected it from this alone.

	"Now, foolish girl, your energy will be MINE!!!"
	"NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Naru screamed as the youma advanced...
	"Hold it right there!" intruded a fairly embarrassed sounding voice.

Naru

and the youma both turned to look at the shop entrance. A female

silhouette

stood in the doorway.
	"Who dares?" the youma demanded.
	"I do," the voice said. It mumbled something about feeling ridiculous

and

being embarrassed, then continued, "I stand for love and justice, and

won't

allow you to harm innocent people!" 
	"Is that so?" the youma sneered, and took a shot at the figure. The
mystery woman leapt into the air, and somersaulted forward, landing in
plain view. The youma and Naru were both caught off-guard.
	Standing in the center of the store was a young woman, probably a
teenager. She wore knee-high red boots with crescent moon emblems near

the

tops, and long white gloves with red trim. She also wore a mask which
covered her entire head. The mask itself was white, but the front had a
large golden ornament shaped like a crescent moon, which covered her

lower

face, and curved around her eyes, which were visible through shielded
openings in the mask. 
	Aside from that, she was completely nude. 

Crimson: <speechless>

Chris: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Hey, I didn't know Usagi was a
natural blonde.

Crimson: It's....EVIL!  [starts to snicker]  Funny though.

	"Who the hell!?" the youma asked.
	Performing silly gestures with her hands, the naked girl said, "Ai to
seigi no, kekko bishoujo senshi...Kekko Moon! Tsuki ni kawatte, oshioki
yo!"
	After her speech, she hissed out of the side of her mouth, "Luna, I

swear

when this is over I'm going to *kill* you."
	In the shadows of the store, the black cat bigsweated. 

Chris: Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Crimson: I bet they're overjoyed they have masks.

	*****bishoujo senshi kekko moon*****

	The youma snarled. "Well, Kekko Moon...whoever you are...prepare to

die!"

It grew several needle-like projections out of its shoulders, and began
firing them at Kekko Moon, who dodged frantically. Rolling to the side,
Moon whined, "Luna! What am I supposed to *do*?"
	Luna frowned. "Well, ordinarily you would use your tiara to defeat

it..."

	Kekko Moon grabbed the black cat and strangled her. "DO I LOOK LIKE I

HAVE

A TIARA!?"

Both: Nope!

Chris: If she does the Species thing, I'm leaving.

Crimson: You mean the cable thing with the...[makes a motion indicating the
chest]

Chris: yup.

	"Calm...down...urk..." Luna frowned. "You must have some sort of
weapon..."
	"I don't even have anything to carry a weapon *with*," Usagi grumbled.
	Luna frowned, then slowly said, "Well..." and looked pointedly at

Usagi's

nether-regions.
	Usagi blinked, then looked down, and blushed furiously. "Kono hentai

neko!

That's too disgusting to think about!"
	Luna shrugged as best as she could. "You never know..."
	Kekko Moon suddenly had to dodge a few more needles, and landed several
meters from the youma. *Well, it's worth a shot,* she decided. Blushing
furiously, she reached down...

	The youma stared incredulously as Kekko Moon appeared to be... "What the
hell? In the middle of a fight? Are you that perverted, girl?" it yelled.
	Kekko Moon blushed. "Shut up! It's not like that! I'm trying to find
something to kill you with!"
	The youma smirked. "I don't think the odor of your..."
	Kekko Moon glared at the youma. "HEY! That's rude!" She crossed her

arms.

"Besides, it doesn't stink..."

Chris: Yeah, that's someone else's attack.

Crimson: [turning green] Don't remind me.

	Luna and Naru both sweatdropped. "Get ON WITH IT!" Luna snapped.
	"Okay okay," Kekko Moon said, and began searching herself. After a

moment,

she shouted, "Aha! Got it!" She started to pull her hand out from between
her legs, then frowned. "What the-? Hey! What's the deal here?"
	"Are you finished yet?" the youma asked.
	"Gimme a minute. It's stuck," Kekko Moon said. She arched her back, and
raised one leg to the sky. The youma saw a glint of silver between her
legs. Kekko Moon began pulling at it. 
	Several seconds later, the youma, Naru, and Luna all stared in shock.
Kekko Moon blinked at the four-foot long, shimmering silver rapier in her
hand. Its hilt was a golden crescent moon. "How the--!?" 
	"Didn't that *hurt*?" the youma asked.

Chris:  That gives whole new meaning to "it's not the size that counts"

Crimson: It's how you use it.

	Kekko Moon shook her head, then charged. The youma dodged and tried to
parry swing after swing with the rapier. Finally, Kekko Moon managed to
impale the creature through the arm. It screamed in pain.
	"Finish it off now, Kekko Moon!" Luna yelled.
	"Right!" Moon shouted. Then, something came to her, and she knew how to
finish off the youma. Withdrawing her sword, she backflipped away twice,
and began running forward again.
	"What--?" the youma wondered as it recovered its senses. Kekko Moon

dived

into a forward flip. "FULL MOON!" she shouted. In the middle of the flip,

a

beam of light shot from between her legs, tearing through the youma and
disintegrating it. Kekko Moon landed on her feet, and blinked. Luna

emerged

from the shadows. 

Crimson: Now THAT's a special attack!

Chris: Better not let Rei hear you say that.

	"Well done, Kekko Moon," the cat said. Kekko Moon glared at her. 
	"Luna...does the word "spayed" mean anything to you?"
	Luna gulped, and bolted for the door. 

	*****

	It was Kekko Moon's fourth battle, and things weren't going very well. 
	The youma in question had invaded a cram school, where the
less-than-dressed warrior's new friend Ami was studying. 
	Mizuno Ami, for her part, was watching the battle, thinking, "How can

that

girl be so calm about running around naked?"
	The youma snarled and fired a volley of sharpened paper at Kekko Moon.

She

managed to dodge all but one piece, which tagged her on the chest,

leaving

a small but noticeable papercut on her right breast. "Alright, that's

it!"

Kekko Moon shouted. She raised one leg high into the air, and reached

into

her...
	Ami flushed. *What kind of pervert is she!?*

Chris: One that's having a better time fighting monsters than some other
Senshi we all know and love.

Crimson: Rei is going to KILL me...

	The youma had been warned about this, and was trying in vain to ignore

the

strangeness of it. Ami, however, gaped in shock as Kekko Moon extracted

her

silver rapier from her...Ami winced in pain at the *thought* of that.

Chris:  You know, if it's four feet long...

Crimson: Don't go there.

Chris:...that would mean that the end has got to be....

Crimson: DON'T GO THERE.  [Brains Chris with his shield.]

	The youma, not particularly impressed, wadded up a huge ball of paper as
Kekko Moon began to charge. It flung the paper, striking Kekko Moon
full-on. The nude girl was knocked across the room, and slammed into the
wall. She slumped to the floor, dazed. The youma laughed evilly, and
tightened its grip on its hostage's neck. Ami screamed as the youma

raised

a sharp-looking blade...
	Luna, who had been watching from under a desk, gasped. The sigil of
Mercury flared brightly on Ami's forehead. The youma, surprised and
thinking it was under attack, relaxed its grip, and Ami dove free,
scrambling for cover under a desk.
	Luna did a backflip, and a blue pendant with the sigil of Mercury
appeared. She caught it with her teeth, and dashed over to where the
blue-haired girl had hidden. Meanwhile, Kekko Moon had recovered her
senses, and stood shakily, gripping her sword tightly. The youma noticed
her, and stalked towards her.

	"Ami!" hissed a voice. The girl looked around for the source of the
whisper, and blinked as a black cat with a crescent-moon shaped mark on

its

forehead padded towards her, carrying something in its mouth. The cat
dropped its burden, a blue pendant, in front of her, and spoke. "Quickly!
You must use this pendant, and help Kekko Moon!"
	Ami stared at the cat. "What--what's going on? You can talk?"
	"Yes! There's no time for this. You are the senshi of Mercury. You must
use this pendant to transform, and help Kekko Moon!"
	Ami frowned in confusion. "I don't understand..."
	The cat sighed. "My name is Luna. I'm a guardian and advisor to the
Sa...the *Kekko* Senshi," she amended, turning slightly red. "When the
youma tried to kill you, the sigil of Mercury appeared on your forehead.
That marks you as the warrior of the planet Mercury. Now, quickly, take
that pendant, and say "Mercury Flash!"
	From across the room, Kekko Moon screamed. The youma laughed maniacally.
Ami frowned, and picked up the pendant. "Mercury Flash!"

Chris:  You know, considering what Kekko Moon looks like, she's taking the
prospect of becoming one of them awfully well.

Crimson: Yeah, I would have run screaming.

Chris:  I wonder what the Kekko Shieldsman is like.  [disappears and
reappears three rows away]

Crimson: [bringing his shield down where Chris once sat.] DON'T GO THERE.

	Kekko Moon backed nervously into the wall. The youma had grown wicked
ten-inch claws, and was slashing at her. She dodged and parried. Then,

one

swipe clipped her wrist, causing her to scream in pain and drop her

sword.

The youma laughed. 
	The young, unclad superheroine scrambled to figure out what to do. She
didn't have enough distance to use her Full Moon attack, and she doubted
she could get to her sword without being skewered. 
	Suddenly, a nervous, *very* embarrassed voice rang out. "Shouben Spray!"
The youma looked up, startled, as a thick, pungent yellow fog filled the
room.
	Kekko Moon's nose wrinkled. "Eeew, what is that *smell*?" Hearing the
youma grunt and shuffle off, she reached down and picked up her sword.

Chris: [standing up, looking towards the back of the theater.] Hmm...yep.  
Thought so.

Crimson: [greenish] What?

Chris: Well, we crossed the line into poor taste at the beginning of this
farce...

Crimson: [takes a couple Akla Seltzer] And?

Chris:  Well, we just crossed the line into no taste.  Seriously, this was
RUDE.  Take it out and change it.

Crimson: [punching one fist into the other]  He better be NICE to Rei....
 

	The mist began to clear, to the relief of everyone in the room. Kekko

Moon

saw the youma, and another person. Standing atop a desk was a girl,
probably about Kekko Moon's age, attired in blue knee-length boots, white
gloves with blue trim, and a blue mask with an astrological symbol on the
forehead. Aside from that, the new girl was naked as well.
	"I...I'm...Kekko Mercury," she stammered. Judging by the flushed color

of

her bare body, her face was probably *very* red. The voice sounded
familiar...
	Kekko Moon walked up to the new warrior, and whispered, "Ami?"
	Kekko Mercury started. Meanwhile, the youma recovered, and began to
attack. Kekko Mercury arched her body backwards, spread her legs slightly
apart, and shouted, "Shouben Spray!" A yellow fog began to issue from her
body, filling the room.
	"Eeeeeeeeewwwww!" Kekko Moon said. "So *that's* what that was!"
	The outline of the youma was still visible through the foul mist. With a
short running start, Moon began a forward flip, near the end of which she
shouted, "FULL MOON!" A blinding beam of light shot from between her

legs,

and with a final bellow of pain, the youma disintegrated.
	The mist dissipated. Kekko Mercury landed beside Kekko Moon. "Luna?"

Moon

called. The cat appeared.
	"Kekko Moon, meet the second Senshi, Kekko Mercury."
	"We've met," Moon said. Quietly, she asked, "Is Mercury Ami-chan?"
	"H--hai," Mercury said, shuffling her booted feet. "H--how do you know
me?"
	Moon sighed, and reversed her transformation, grateful for the school
uniform which covered her body. Kekko Mercury blinked. "Usagi-chan!?"
	Usagi nodded. Mercury fell off the desk.

Crimson: It's EVIL! Kill it! Kill it! Make it dead!

Chris: Oh, come on, it's funny.

Crimson: YOUR girlfriend isn't going to kill you for reviewing this...

Chris: Why would she be mad...you said you hated it..right?

Crimson:  Well it wasn't all bad....mostly just the Mercury part.

Chris: True.  That was far...FAR too rude.  Other than that, I like it. 
I'd say keep going, if you fix the Mercury stuff.

Crimson:  Yeah, this should be funny, not...SICK.

--
Christopher Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
-The road to hell is paved with good intentions. -Old proverb.
-People forget that the same road leads to heaven. -Response