Ranma: WAHAHAHHAAA!!!  AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

(Ranma is rolling in his seat, convulsing with laughter. Ryoga is nowhere to
be seen until the camera pans down to show him lying face up on a sheet of
plastic drenched in blood, groaning, trying vainly to stick a red tissue up
his nose while undergoing convulsions of his own.)

Ryoga: (moaning) Ohhh...no more...feel dizzy....lost too much blood....

Ranma: Oh, man, that was soooo great!  That was hilarious!  Man, what a
great concept!  I wanna see more! Woooohoooo!!!!

Ryoga: Ranma...(gasp)...you p-pervert...(wheeze)...you're a
sick...sick...(gag)...oh...God...

Ranma: (getting up to kneel next to Ryoga) Awww...whatsa matter, little
piggy? Is poor widdle Kekko Moon punishing you for even looking at Kekko
Mercury?

Ryoga: Ranma....you're gonna pay...as soon as I...stop seeing dots in
front...of my eyes...

Ranma: Awww...maybe we can get Kekko Moon to stop by and help you, hm?

Ryoga: No...

Ranma: She'll probably be able to heal you.

Ryoga: Stop it, Ranma...

Ranma: I wonder what other goodies she has up her...

(Ryoga shrieks and passes out.  Ranma lifts his head, frowns, and lets it
thunk back on the floor.)

Ranma: Geez, if you can't stand the heat.  Oh well. I thought it was a great
story, though a translation of Japanese phrases would be great for
non-native speakers.  Anyway...(Stands) Hey, um T-bone? We, uh, need...

(A mop comes sailing into the screen. Ranma catches it one-handed.)

Ranma: Huh?

T-bone: (o.s.) It is a mop. It is used to clean things. It is my lunch
break. It is your responsibility now.

Ranma: Aww, man. (Whacks Ryoga with the mop) This is all your fault, stupid.
Can't even see a girl naked without your nose going ballastic. Man, your
nose is just as red as Kekko Mercury's body. (More to himself) You know,
fanfic writers are always trying to match him and Mercury up because she's
supposed to look a lot like...

Akane: Like *who*, Ranma?

Ranma: Akane??!! How did you...

Akane: I was passing by and thought I would stop in on you to see how you're
doing.  What do I find? You reviewing ecchi fics! I should've known, you
pervert!

Ranma: No...wait...it's not what you think...

Ryoga: (in a blood-drained haze) No...no...one leg pointing towards the
sky...glint of silver between her legs...stuff like that aren't *meant* to
come from there!  Ami-chan...no! Must think pure thoughts!

Akane: (glowing blue) It's not what I think, eh?

Ranma: Wait! He's babbling! He's in a bad dream! Besides, it's not my fault
you and Mercury look a lot alike...I mean, oops.

Akane: Ranma no BAKA HENTAI!!!

(She grabs the mop. Fade out on ensuing carnage.)
===================================================================
/===\     LaShawn M. Taylor (tbone@ccm.net)     MSTie#83924
|^ ^|\    May you find meaning before you find death.
 \v/\|                          -Ancient Kurdish Proverb   
    |\    "And I try not to think on things that can't be done.
    \|    Each day at a time, I never give up hope.
	  I've just begun."
		                -Phil Keaggy
T-bone's cafe will be opening real soon. Really. I mean it.
===================================================================