Sarah: ahh the second part of that story based off of the hugh grant
movie.
Eric: it is not the same thing.
Sarah: whatever.
Eric: dont make me get the ferrets out again
Sarah: but they were so cute.
Emperor Stephen The Mega Man Schlueter wrote:
I recently recieved an item from someone who said they really
hated the last fanfic I sent out. If this person is reading this
Sarah: i wonder if he means our little review?
Eric: i never claimed i hated it, just that the story umm lacked.
I have sent a couple of guys in Italian suits to... discuss the
particular viewpoint. I'm not saying that if you disagree with
Sarah: okay so if he sends these guys towards i'll powerblast them so
hard they'll land sometime next month.
Eric: yeah like a couple of spiffily dressed goons are going to be much
of a threat to you but it might be amusing to watch.
the Empire or me that I'll have you lined up against a wall and
Eric: so be it young jedi, if you will not be turned you will be
destroyed.
shot several times with .22 assault rifles. Ha! Ha! Of course
not! We usually use .38s.
Sarah: i use a concentrated power build up from within myself and the
earth is often used a conduit or a storage base. What's a .38?
-The Emperor
Eric: Sanzenin Mikado?
Ranma 1/2: Four Weddings And A Catastrophe
By Stephen Schlueter
Chapter Three: We're here today to join Ranma Saotome and....
Eric: and Ryouga Hibiki in holy matrimony.
Sarah: you're thinking of mirror images.
Eric: oopps i think you're right.
"I don't care who is... or isn't your fiancee."
-Akane Tendo
Ryoga stumbled his way up the church stairs. He had been
Sarah: oh wait maybe it is Ranma's and Ryouga's wedding.
wandering for days trying to find the address on the invitation.
It had been a good thing he had left a week ago.
Eric: nothing like planning ahead.
He had managed to beat everyone else there. Something that
would probably never happen again.
Eric: but if you continously plan you way ahead you never know.
"What?!" shouted Kodachi loud enough to be heard in other
towns "Ranma darling is getting married to HER?!! And he didn't
tell me?!!"
Eric: you might want to consider using something else for your
transitions instead of a blank line.
"I don't understand it myself..." began Kuno "Oh, Akane Tendo..
How could you marry one such as him."
Sarah: well its easy you see you put them in front of a priest.
It's a well-known fact that the Kuno family is not known for
it's alertness or it's modesty. Though it is known for it's
occasional and uncommonly frequent acts of stupidity.
Sarah: actually they're known for a large set of potted plants that
Kodachi guards religiously.
Kodachi had a plan. She was going to have to take Akane's
place at the wedding. This was the same plan concocted by Ukyo
and Shampoo. Fortunatly, Kodachi had not thought of the marriage
license angle.
Eric: Fortunately, you'd think someone would've been original.
"You did what?!!!" shouted Soun Tendo "How could you send them
invitations?!!! We planned this to AVOID them!!!"
Sarah: so much for a clever ruse.
"Well..." began Genma trying desperately to come up with an explanation.
He had obviously screwed up yet again.
Eric: thats it? we're going to chalk this up to stupidity? Even in the
manga volume it was nabiki being greedy.
It took roughly two hours for Genma and Mr. Tendo to drag Akane and
Ranma to the church. Every mailbox, street light and pretty much every
large blunt object along the way had been picked up by someone and used
as a weapon. These were hardly the actions of a happy, or even sane,
couple.
Sarah: no no its the actions of truly loving couple.
The majority of the people who had shown up had some kind of agenda
intended to serve their own purpose. Those who didn't wanted to see what
was actually going to happen. Events involving Ranma and Akane were big
entertainment to those in the community who were not afraid of dying
should something go wrong. Those who avoided the wedding did so because
they really liked living and did not want to get caught up in whatever
was going to happen. Some individuals planned to be in other countries
that day. There was obviously not a lot of confidence in how this
wedding would turn out.
Akane was in the dressing room dusting herself off from the struggle on
the way to the church. She had to think of some way to get out of this.
She couldn't see many options to get out of it, but, unknown to her,
three options were sneaking up behind her. None of whom were conciously
aware of the other two. This is the kind of narrow mindedness that
Sarah: i would hope they were all creeping in from a different direction
or something.
keeps
these people from ever accomplishing anything.
Everyone looked towards the back of the church. It sounded like someone
was fighting out in the foyer. Just then, four girls, all in wedding
Sarah: i thought they didnt notice each other.
dresses, burst through the closed doors, each one trying to beat the
other three senseless. One of whom was using a spatula the size of a
snow shovel. Ranma decided to take advantage of this. Since everyone's
Eric: what about ribbons, and mallets and bonbori.
Sarah: oh my.
attention was on the four brawling brides he decided to make a break for
the exit on the left side of the church.
Chapter Four: The Race For Glory, Happiness And The Exit.
"Are you going to let some girl come out of nowhere and claim your
fiancee?!!"
-Ukyo Kuonji (to Ryoga)
It took Genma a couple of seconds to notice Ranma running towards the
exit. The remarkable thing was that he was the first to notice it. This
was an uncommon occurance for someone like him.
Eric: what?
Sarah: what?
Ranma had just gotten outside of the church when he noticed that Genma
was following him. This, unfortunately, diverted his attention from
where he was going, namely towards the water fountain. SPLASH!
Sarah: woopsie
Ryoga, who had put on a tux so that he could blend in, wandered into the
dressing room. Akane wasn't there! He stopped and noticed three
envelopes with Ranma's name on them. He shrugged, picked the envelopes
up and left to find Akane.
Eric: why did he pick them up, for what nefarious purpose?
It took the four girls several minutes to notice that Ranma, who was a
fairly vital point in the ceremony, was not, technically, there.
Eric: some dialogue between the girls might have added more humor and
more meaning behind the fight.
Sarah: as it is now, akane who usually stands out of the fights seems to
have been involved in a fight for a fiancee she claims to not want.
"Ran-Chan?" said Ukyo as she looked away from the people she had just
been beating to a pulp.
"Aiyaa!" shouted Shampoo "Where Ranma go?"
Akane got to her feet. Obviously wedding dresses we're not designed for
fighting in.
Sarah: why? its to show us the reason why they're not and not
necessarily rely on our common sense to know why, it makes the story
more intersting and more potentiall humorous which is what i think you
were trying to achieve.
Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi looked around the room for Ranma but Akane was
the only one to notice the open door on the left side of the church.
Eric: because the other three are idiots?
Ranma-Chan stumbled to her feet. This was not going well. Genma was only
a few feet away now. Ranma-Chan jumped towards Genma, bounced off his
head and landed on the church roof. Genma stumbled for a moment and then
fell head first into the fountain.
Ranma paused to catch her breath. What could possibly happen next?
"Saotome!! Prepare to die!!!"
Ranma spun around just in time to see Ryoga charging towards him at what
had to be at least Mach one.
Sarah: wow he must've started a long charge.
Kodachi was about to follow Akane out the open door when Ukyo hit her
over the head with her shovel sized spatula. Kodachi slumped to the
floor as Ukyo and Shampoo chased after Akane.
Sarah: Kodachi no longer needed?
Naturally, Ryoga wasn't the only one who felt the need to pound the tar
out of Ranma right now. About three seconds later, Mousse, who had shown
up specifically to kill Ranma before he could marry Shampoo, showed up.
Eric: you used showed up twice in the same sentence
Ranma was having a lot of trouble fighting on the slanted rooftop.
Sarah: the others would as well then would they not.
Mousse was about to attack when Ranma slammed his elbow into Mousse's
face sending him flying off the roof into the fountain far below.
"I shall destroy you before I let you marry Akane!" shouted Ryoga.
Sarah: now you find tabs?
"Would you quit babbling, you moron!!" Ranma-Chan yelled back.
Ranma attempted to punch Ryoga but narrowly missed. The three envelopes
that were in Ryoga's pocket fell out.
Eric: because he narrowly missed?
Ranma gave Ryoga a swift kick to the head which sent him tumbling
backwards. Ranma noticed the fallen envelopes.
"Hey! What're these?" she said as she picked them up.
Sarah: something must've caught his eye about the envelopes, its not
like Ranma to be distracted in a fight.
Just then, Ukyo, Shampoo and Akane climbed up onto the roof.
"Jeez..." Ukyo grumbled trying to catch her breath "That's the last time
I climb a the wall of a building in this outfit."
Ranma however wasn't paying attention to the minor conversation between
the three would-be brides. She was to busy reading the contents of the
envelopes.
"I'm definetly going to have to kill pop for this one." she grumbled.
Eric: its the marriage liscenes. he's now mostly married to Ukyou,
Shampoo and Akane.
Epilogue:
"Do these eyes that lie?"
-Shampoo
"What is it?" asked Akane as she looked over Ranma's shoulder trying to
read what was in her hands.
Ryoga had managed to get to his feet. "What are those anyway?" he asked.
"Marriage licences..." said Ranma. "Three of them..."
"Three??!!" said Akane.
"Yeah.." said Ranma as she handed Akane the papers "pop wasn't paying
attention to what he was signing I think."
"Hold it." said Ukyo "Does this mean we're all married to Ranma?"
"Is no fun have to share Ranma with Akane and Ukyo." grumbled Shampoo.
Sarah: oh but it could be more fun..
Eric: yes imagine the wedding night, the honeymoon... mmmm Ukyou....
"So, what now?" asked Ryoga.
Sarah: you mean Ryouga wouldnt just continue on his blind rage like he
normally does, he stops and acts calmly and rationally for a change?
Eric: Tres OOC
Ranma thought about it for a moment. "These aren't legal if they aren't
signed, right?" she asked.
"Yeah.." said Ryoga. "So?" Ranma looked towards the fountain.
"Well.." she said sticking all three papers into an envelope "If
something unfortunate were to happen that would cause the ink to run..."
Ranma let go of the envelope causing it to drift down and land in the
fountain. "Oops.." she said casually.
Eric: if it moved so slowly the other girls might have tried to save
theirs.
Sarah: so they could be the only ones married to Ranma
A small black cloud of ink started to appear in the water.
"Why didn't I think of that?" said Ryoga.
Sarah: why did you care? shouldnt you be attacking Ranma.
Ranma sighed and started to walk off. "The next time any of you gets an
invitation to something like this.." she said. "Do me a favor and just
kill pop and leave it at that."
THE END
Sarah; *pondering the fic* the problem with the story isnt so much what
its about, is how its presented.
Eric: It appears like a sitcom episode, where everything that happens
in between occurs for no rhyme or reason and the ending returns to the
status quo.
Sarah: you passsed up parts that you could've expanded on, like the
fight between the four girls and the envelope drifting down.
Eric: There are times when the characterizations appear to be off as
well.
Sarah: on the positive side you managed to capture some of the essence
of the chaos. It felt chaotic and messy but you failed to expand on how
much more chaotic it couldve been.
Eric: I'm guessing here but it felt rushed, like the details didnt
matter as much as reaching the end.
Sarah: finally making wedding stories stand out must be difficult but
this one came to close the vol 38.
Eric: a good effort and decently done but I just found it lacking in
many ways.
Sarah: later and i better not see any goons *erupts into a pillar of
flame* in italian suits around here.
Eric: trust me you wont like her when she's angry.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emperor Stephen "The Mega Man" Schlueter
Leader Of The Crimson Empire
"It's not like I start the fights or anything.She just overreacts to
every little thing!" -Ranma Saotome
------------------------------------------------------------------------