Eric Adams wrote:

Eric: humph you went and chagned the tag!

Sarah: you'll get over it.  You're not feeling up to speed today are
you?

Eric: humph I talked to Amber

Sarah: gee that would always put you in a bad mood.
 

Flora says Corwin's got his memories back.

Eric: well lets see here on to the second part of Someday Never Comes.

David Homerick wrote:

 Chapter 1: A Perfect Day.

Eric: no such thing just bad ones, one after the other.
 

I heard about this "irony" thing, and I wanted to try it out. 

     "RAN -- KO -- CHAN!"

     "RAN -- KO -- CHAN!"

Sarah: RAN-KO-CHAN!  RAN-KO-CHAN!

Eric: you're so easily amused.
 

Let's ALL do it!

     The chant swelled as Ranma's opponent slumped to the floor of

the

ring.  The referee raised Ranma's hand and raised it high over his

head.

Eric: you should change the sentence drop the and.  sorta like:  The
referee raised Ranma's hand high over his head.
 

AAH!  Dang.  I can't believe I missed that.

Sarah: ahh of course Ranma won does he ever lose?

     "Winnerrrr..." he bellowed into the mike, "RANKO-CHAN!"  The

crowd

roared as Ranma waved enthusiastically to it and racked his brain

for

Sarah: he waved enthusaistically at what?
 

The crowd, silly.

something suitably girlish to say.

Eric: tee hee often works.

     The championship belt was returned to him, along with a giant
bouquet of roses.  Someone pushed a mike in his face.  "Oh, wow!" he

squealed.  "Did I really win?  I'd like to thank all my wonderful
fans...  I LOVE YOU ALL!" he called, bouncing excitedly on his toes

Sarah: humm if thats his idea of apropriately girly then i'm beginning

to feel insulted.  What do you think Eric?
 

He's working the crowd.

Eric: sorry i'm still stuck on teh bouncing bit.
 

Wipe your mouth.

and
waving the bouquet.  His girl-body's breasts bounced too, and the

roar

Eric: oh more bouncing, do we have to leave this image?

Sarah: god what has Amber done to you?
 

All the girls there are related to him.

of the crowd increased.  That should sell a few extra tickets, he
thought, and turned to leave the arena.

Eric: oh dont go! come back!

     Trouble.  The crowd poured out of the seats and onto the floor.

Sarah: trouble? what kind of.  humm there's something odd about
throwing
trouble out like that.

Eric: i agree, i'm not big on grammar or anything but it just doesnt
seem right.
 

It's JUST!  NOT!  RIGHT!

It's fine.

Ranma dashed down the rapidly closing aisle towards the exit like an

Egyptian getting the hell out of the Red Sea.  The crowd crashed

Sarah: an amusing analogy.
 

Thank you.

together behind him as he reached the tunnel and surged after him.

Eric: nothing like a crowd of perverts and freaks chasing after you.

     I wonder what set them off? he thought.  I've finished fights

Eric: probably the bouncing
 

Probably.

stark
naked and never had them charge me like this.  'Course, maybe that's

Eric: oh well i wish i had seen that.

it.  Maybe they didn't get to see as much of Ranko-chan as they

thought

they'd paid for.

Sarah: humm boy he's doing some odd stuff these days.

Eric: i dont mind, personally i'd like to see more as well.

Sarah: you have no life yet do you?

     He dashed around a corner, past two security guards, up a

hallway,

and into his dressing room.  He slammed the door and threw the bolt,

Eric: the clever crowd never saw him run into his dressing room?

Sarah: he did say he went around a corner, but even so.
 

A terrible mistake.  I shall fix it forthwith.

then leaned against it, panting.  This girl-body may look young and
sexy, he thought, but I'm still a forty-year-old man inside.  You're

slowing down, Ranma m'boy.

Eric: uhhh.... i no longer feel as chirper.

Sarah: heheh, you knew this was set in the future. what did you
expect?

Eric: well i never found Ranma-chan attractive in the way that I find
Ukyou precisely cuz she's a guy.
 

Ukyou's a guy!?  This changes EVERYthing!

     The pounding of footsteps reminded him that he needed to hurry.

Sarah: oi i see the crowd is smart enough to follow.
 

See?  I fixed it.

He
peeled off the sheer red-and-black leotard and, with a splash of hot

water, reverted to a middle-aged man.  He dressed quickly, pulling

on

pants, shoes, shirt, and coat as the door began to bow inward.

Eric: heh too bad they didnt catch him naked.

Zap him for me, Sarah.

Finishing with a pair of sunglasses, he sent a quick message over

the

intercom and drew the bolt.  The crowd tore it out of his hands,

poured

through the opening, then stopped short, disappointed.

Sarah: looked at the bloody mess of the middle aged man beneath their
feet and went their merry way.

     "As you can see," announced Ranma, "Ranko-chan isn't here. 

Now, if

you don't mind, I'd like you to clear out of her room."

Sarah: i'd be surprised if the crowd didnt ransack the room while they

were at it.  you never know what Ranko may have left behind.

Eric: true their maybe some personal belongings around.

Sarah: humm you are becoming more like Happosai everyday.

     "Ladies and gentlemen," came an announcement over the PA,
"Ranko-chan has left the building."

Sarah: she was seen leaving with Elvis.

     The crowd sagged and filed out.  One young man hung back,

gazing

about the room.

Eric: oh he;s looking for silkies i bet... its the son of happosai!

Sarah: my bet is hidoshi.

     "Yes?  Can I help you?" asked Ranma.

     "I... I wanted to talk to her.  To tell her..."  He blushed.

     "I thought so. Kid, you can't just barge into someone's

dressing

room just because you think you like her.  It's rude.  Hell, it's
downright criminal.  How would you like it if some snot-nosed kid

broke

into your bedroom and jumped on you?  Would you think that was cute?

Would you like that?  Huh?"

Sarah: pretty harsh but an accurate assessment by Ranma, maybe he has
matured as a male.

Eric: mmm jumped on...

     "I... I guess not.  I'm sorry."

     "Good.  I'll tell you what, kid.  You give me your name and
address, and I'll see Miss Ranko sends you something nice."

Eric: humm i wonder what Ranma thinks of as 'nice'

Sarah: *starting to glow green* thats it get your mind of the gutter!

     "A pair of her panties?" the boy asked hopefully.

Eric: I was only joking, boy i didnt see this one coming.
 

"Whoah, got riffed back!"    --Crow T. Robot

     "Don't be obscene.  How about a nice autographed picture

instead?"

Sarah: humm so much for my bet on it being Hidoshi
 

Pay up.

     "That would be fine, sir."

Eric: so polite and yet so perverse.

     When Ranma arrived home, Akane was waiting up for him and had

him

sit down while she cooked dinner.  This meant heating prepackaged

eel

teriyaki meals in the microwave, but if Akane wanted to call that

Eric: oh no the cooked my pet Gobo the Eel!!!!  They killed Gobo, you
bastards!

Sarah: interesting how Akane hasnt' changed her cooking.
 

Nope.  She eventually just accepted it.

cooking, Ranma wasn't going to argue.  When the meals were done,

Ranma

opened his, stirred the rice, and popped the tab on a can of Kirin.

Sarah: she popped the tab of the leader of the seven lucky gods
martial
artists?

Eric: apparently akane has decided to keep all her suitors.
 

"Kirin" is a brand of beer, as you well know.

Akane poked at her meal silently.

Sarah: even if all she did was warm it up, it doesnt hurt to make sure

its actually dead.

     "I was talking to Ryoga today," she said.

Eric: oi i see she is still stringing her suitors along.

     Ranma winced and put down his chopsticks.  "Yeah?"

Sarah: humm aparently Akane's heating is just as bad as her cooking.

     "He asked me if we had any plans to reopen the dojo."

Eric: ohh interesting why did they close it in the first place?

     This was an old argument.  "What did you tell him?"

Sarah: this marriage seems dull and lifeless, i wonder what happened.
 

They both know they're about to have a fight.

     "To talk to you."

     "I suppose he'll do that, then."  Ranma turned back to his

meal.

     Akane's voice took on an edge.  "It's been four years, Ranma. 

You

said prizefighting was only temporary, until the scandal died down.

Sarah: what scandal?
 

Her sister's thievery.

Well, it's died down.  Don't you think it's time you stopped

shirking

your responsibilities?"

Eric: i never bought into that responsibility crap and i wonder why
Ryouga would care though.  this story is rife with possibilities.

      Ranma scowled.  "I've made more money in four years of
prizefighting than we did in fifteen years of running that dojo.  If

Sarah: oh Ranma who needs money.  you were supposed to carry on the
school

Ryoga needs a job, he can help his wife in the restaurant, or go

break

rocks or something.  I don't see that I owe him a job."

Eric: i wonder who he ended up with?

Sarah: running a restuarant could be either Ukyou or Shampoo.

Eric: my guess is Shampoo.

Sarah: thats only cuz you want Ukyou for yourself.

Eric: So? wheres the harm in that?

     "You promised Father you'd run the dojo..."

     "Your father doesn't care," interrupted Ranma.

Sarah: he doesnt care? what happened to Soun and Genma?  they may be
old
but how could they stop caring?
 

It's not like SOUN ever ran the dojo.

     "Well, *I* care!" shouted Akane.  "I want my family name

associated

with martial arts, not my sister's thievery!  If you had an ounce of

Eric: oh more and more interesting.

decency, you'd drop this Ranko-chan charade, reopen the dojo, and

give

poor Ryoga a job.  You know why he can't find work."

Sarah: damn this is good, i mean so much hinting and you cant really
guess at what might happen.

Eric: or what might've happeend.

     "The same reason he can't find anything else.  Ryoga was a

lousy

teacher, anyway.  If I had to hire someone from that family, I'd

hire

his wife."

Sarah: apparently Ranma still carries a grudge.
 

Oh, yes.

     "Oh, I see.  You'll hire Shampoo but not Ryoga.  I wonder why

that

is."

Eric: woah, i was only joking about him marrying Shampoo.  Oh now i
need
to know how that happened.

Sarah: yes we also need to know "why that is"

     "Shampoo's a classically trained martial artist.  Ryoga's a
self-trained brawler.  What's he going to teach kids -- getting

lost?"

Eric: thats it?  I hope not.  there has to be something more to it,

This is partly Ranma just being nasty, and partly Ryoga's not having
been good at passing on his unique style.

He also tends to wander off.

besides Ryouga would probably fall into the anything goes style more
then Shampoo.

Shampoo could teach her brand of Kung Fu.  Offering two different
schools would attract more students than just one.  Of course, Shampoo's
far too busy with the restaurant.

Sarah: true but this is a different Ranma we're dealing with.

     "Akane rose stiffly.  "Maybe he could teach them about honor." 

She

rose and stalked away.

Eric: Ouch.

Sarah: this is great.

     Ranma stared at his meal for a long time, then picked it up and

stuffed it into the trash.  What a lousy way to end the day.

Eric: its also a lousy place to end the fic.

Sarah: this is great! the characterizations are well done and there is

an amazing amount of tension that you only hint at.  Well done.

Eric: also you have alot of unanswered questions that are dying to be
answered.

Sarah: this is one of the most interesting fics i've read to date and
i
hope you finish it.

Eric: laters!
 

I have the backstory down pretty well, but much of the actual plot is
still loose.

-- David.