Enjoy ^_^
Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong
Ranma 1/2 /Gundam Wing /Marmalade Boy /DragonBall Z /Fushigi Yuugi: Life with
the boys 2
Duo: (Pushing shopping cart)Man, we're can't believe I'm doing this.
Tamahome: (Shrugs shoulders)Hey, it's our turn to do the grocery
shopping.
Hiro: .......
Yuu: Well, what do you expect? Yeah, but why did all seven of us have to
come, just to buy groceries?
Ranma: Have you guys ever gone grocery shopping before?
All: Nope.
Ranma: Me neither.
Trunks: (Looking around)Man, this supermarket is pretty big. You could
get lost in here,
Ranma: Well, if Ryoga here gets lost, I ain't looking for him.
Ryoga: I'm not going to get lost.
Gohan: (Shakes his head)C'mon Ryoga, you get lost all the time. What's
the chance that you won't get lost in here.
Ryoga: ........
Duo: (Reading list)Okay, first on the list is corn flakes. Corn flakes?
What the hell's that?
Trowa: It's some kinda cereal I think.
Gohan: Of course it is. How can you not know what corn flakes are?
Duo: Hey, we're not from around here.
Hiro: .......
Tamahome: (Looks at Hiro)Man, what's with you. Why're you always quiet.
Why don't you say something for god sakes.
Hiro: How about 'I'll kill you'?
Duo: Calm down Hiro. We're here to shop for food, that's all. Now,
where's the corn flakes isle?
Trowa: We passed it.
(All the guys turn around and head back toward the front of the store)
Ranma: Hey, where's Ryoga?
Yuu: Man, he was with us just a minute ago..
Ranma: Oh well, who cares. He can take care of himself.
Duo: Oh no.
Gohan: What's wrong?
Duo: There's more than one kinda corn flakes. What do we do?
Yuu: What kinda corn flakes are we supposed to get? What does the list
tell you?
Duo: (Reads list)It just says corn flakes. Wait. It says buy the brown
box.
Gohan: (Relaxing)Thank goodness she put down a description.
Trunks: (Picks up corn flakes and tosses it into cart) That's all we
need to get? That was easy.
Duo: Are you kidding me? There's much more we have to get.
Gohan: What do you expect, Trunks? Of course we have to buy more food.
We all eat like horses. This box of corn flakes aren't going to hold all
of us guys over till the end of the week.
Yuu: Judging by the way Gohan and Ranma eat, this box'll be gone before
we leave the store.
Ranma: Hey, what are you tryin' to get at?
Duo: What he means is that we should buy more corn flakes. Since there's
seven of us, we should buy seven boxes of corn flakes.(Grabs six more
boxes)That should be enough.
Gohan: Are you sure? Maybe we should get more.
Duo: (Grabs seven more boxes)There. fourteen boxes should be good
enough.
Trunks: Okay Now that we have have cereal, what's next on the list.
Duo: (Reads list)It says iced tea here.
Tamahome: I'll go get it.(Walks awak)
Yuu: I guess I'll come with you.(Follows)
Ranma: I still think you should get more cereal, but I guess that's good
enough. What's next?
Duo: (Looks at list)Steak.
Ranma: I got that!!!(Runs off)
Gohan: No. I'll get it!!!(Flies off)
Trunks: I'll go also!!!(Flies off)
Duo: Man, I hope they get enough.
Hiro: Okay, since they're getting the steaks. What's next?
Duo: (Reads list)We have to get some pasta. Hiro, you wanna go get it?
Hiro: No.
Trowa: If you don't want to help out, why are you with us? Look, just
help us out with the shopping. None of us have ever done this before so
we're all pretty new to this.
Hiro: ......
Yuu: Hey, think of it this way, if you don't help, we'll tell Alexis you
didn't help out with the shopping.
Hiro: Fine, I'll go get your damn pasta. Where the hell is it?
Tamahome: I didn't find any of that iced tea that was on the list, but I
did find these boxes of tes bag.
Yuu: (Carrying two bags of ice)And here's some ice. This should be a
good enough substitute.
Duo: But you only bought six boxes of tea bags. Are you sure that's
enough?
Tamahome: Let's hope so.(Looks at labels)It says there's a hundred tea
bags per box. That makes six hundred tea bags. That should be
enough.(Puts the boxes in cart)
Yuu: That's plenty.(Puts ice in cart)I'll go get more.(Walks away)
Duo: (Looks at bags of ice)Ice? You can buy ice? Man, what ever happened
to just making it?
Tamahome: Hey, thats not just all of it. We passed this is where they
sell, get this, water. What kinda place is this where you have to buy
water. All you have to do is pick it up from some river. It must really
cost you a lot of money to take a bath. I mean, you'll have to buy a few
hundred of those things.
Duo: Those are for drinking.
Tamahome: Oh..
Ranma: (Carrying ten steaks)Here's the stake(Puts it in cart)That's
about thirty pounds worth.
Gohan: Carrying twenty steaks)Here's some more, just in case(Puts it in
cart)I hope this is the steak we all like. All I know is that it's
really red before it's cooked.
Trunks: (Carrying twenty steaks)Same here. I hope this is the right
kind. But just in case, I grabbed all the steaks you didn't.(Puts steak
in cart)
Ranma: You think we should get more meat?
Duo: Better not, the cart's full already.
Trowa: I'll go get another cart(Leaves)
Hiro: So where's the pasta isle?
Duo: I dunno, why're you asking me?
Yuu: There're signs hanging above each isle. Just keep on walking until
you see the sign with `pasta' on it.
Hiro: (Shrugs his shoulders)Fine(Walks away)
Ryoga: (Carrying ten steaks)Hey guys, look what I found, some
meat.(Looks at full cart)Uh, where should I put it?
Trowa: (Walking up with cart)Put it in this cart.
(Ryoga puts ten steaks in the empty cart)
Ranma: So, you didn't get lost afterall..
Ryoga: Well, actually I did, but I found my way back.
Yuu: Well, what's next on the list?
Duo: (Reads list)It says orange juice. Who wants to go get it?
Yuu: I guess I'll go get it.
Trunks: I'll go with you. We better get a lot.
Duo: Okay, now that we got orange juice outta the way, next on the list
is.(Reads list).salad?
Ryoga: Salad?
Ranma: You know. That green stuff you put dressing on.
Trowa: Isn't salad supposed to be some kinda vegetable?
Gohan: Vegetables? Gross. Who would eat those?
Duo: I think this is for Alexis.
Ryoga: I'll go get it.
Ranma: Yeah right. We'll probably never see you again if you leave our
sight again.
Ryoga: You take that back!!!
Ranma: Just go. Jeez, you get mad at everything.
(Ryoga and Ranma head toward vegetable isle)
Yuu: (Carrying three cartons of orange juice)Here's three. Trunks is
getting more.(Put them into cart)
Trunks: (Carrying thirty cartons of juice)Here you go.(Puts it into
cart)Man, this cart's already full.
Tamahome: Hey, are you sure that's orange juice?
Trunks: (Pick up bottle)This looks like orange juice. I mean, the juice
_is_ orange.
Yuu: ........
Trowa: (Looks at cartoon)That doesn't really look like orange juice.
Trunks: Well, if it isn't, I'll drink it anyway.
Tamahome: So, Duo, we've got the meat, the cereal, and orange juice.
Hiro went to get the pasta and Ranma and Ryoga went to get the salad.
What's next?
Duo: (Reads list)Milk. I'll go get it. I'm sick and tired of pushin'
this cart anyway. Someone else ca do it.(Hands list to Trunks)Here,
Trunks, you read the rest of the list off.
Hiro: (Carrying cardboard box of pasta)Here.
Yuu: That box ain't gonna if.
Hiro: So, what do I care.
Tamahome: Fine, I'll go get a third cart.(Walks away)
Ranma: (Carrying ten lettuce heads)Here's the salad.
Ryoga: (Also carrying ten lettuce heads)Where should we put this?
Trowa: Just hold on for a minute. Tama-chan went to get a third cart.
Tamahome: (Pushing cart)I heard that. Don't call me Tama-chan!!!
(Ryoga and Ranma put the lettuce heads in the cart)
Ranma: Now what? Where's Duo?
Trunks: He went to get the milk. Okay,(Looks at list)next on the list is
rice and then comes soy sauce.
Tamahome: I'll go get the rice.(Walks away)
Gohan: I'll go with you(Follows)
Ranma: I`ll go get the soy sauce.(Walks away)
Duo: (Carrying cartload of milk)I hope this is enough. Ten cartons
should be enough right?
(Duo gently moves aside the letups heads so they won't be crushed
underneath the cartons of milk)
Yuu: I dunno. Maybe you should get more.
Duo: Fine, I'll go get another crateload.(Walks away)
Trowa: Okay, what next?
Trunks: Hm, after the soy sauce is (Reads list)ramen.
Ranma: (Carrying four jugs of soy sauce)You call?
Trunks: No.
Ranma: I thought you called my name. Nevermind.(Puts jug in cart and
realizes it's full)Damn, we better get a forth cart.
Trowa: I'll go get one(Walks away)
Ranma: What's next?
Trunks: Ramen.
Ryoga: I'll go get it.(Walks away)
Trunks: ......
Ranma: Ah forget about him. The area is closed off. Let's just hope he
doesn't make his way outside and we'll be all right.
Duo: Here's the extra crateload of milk(Looks around)Um, where should I
put it?
Trowa: (Pulling up with empty cart)In here. I grabbed four more empty
carts since we seem to be going through a cart every two items on the
list. That's one cart per person.
(Duo puts crateload of milk in forth cart)
Ryoga: (Carrying box of ramen)Cool, I didn't get lost.(Puts box in
cart)Um, how much is a gross of ramen? That's how many I grabbed.
Hiro: That's one hundred forty bags of ramen.
Ryoga: What, you think I should get more?
Ranma: Yeah, go get more. Better safe than sorry.
Ryoga: Okay(Walks away)
Tamahome: (Carrying two bags of salt over each shoulder)Here's the
rice.(Notices forth cart is full and puts it in fifth cart)
Gohan: (Carrying four bags of rice)Here's four more.(Puts it in the
cart)
Trunks: (Chuckles)Man, I can't believe we just filled up the entire
fifth cart with just rice.
Ranma: C'mon, what next? I wanna go home.
Trunks: (Reads list).......
Yuu: Well, what is it?
Trunks: (Blushing)T-tam-tamp..
Duo: Speak up. We can't hear you.
Trunks: (Blushing)Tampons.
(Long pause of silence)
Yuu: Are you sure?
Trunks(Shows list of everyone)See?
Trowa: Oh man. We hafta get those?
Tamahome: I ain't getting it.
(All eyes rest on Ranma)
Ranma: Huh? No way!!! I ain't gonna get no tampons!!! Uh uh!!! No way!!!
What if someone see me!?
Duo: Well, who else. You're the only one here who can turn into a girl,
so you're most qualified to get it. And if you get seen, you're in girl
form and it doesn't matter.
Ryoga: (Carrying another box of ramen)Here's the extra box. Cool, I
found my way back again. That's three times in a row. I must be on a
roll.
Ranma: No!!!
(Splash)
Tamahome: (Holding a empty bottle of Poland Spring)Well, you are now.
Ranma-chan: I still ain't gonna do it!!!
Yuu: Just get it already.
Ranma: Me? You go get it, Mr. pretty boy!!!
Yuu: Me? No way. It's much too embarrassing.
Ryoga: (Looks around)What's going on here? Whatcha talking about?
Gohan: We want Ranma to go get tampons, but he won't.
Ryoga: Tampons?
Yuu: Don't tell me you've never heard of it.
Ryoga: Sorry.
Ranma-chan: Well, if Ryoga's never heard of it, then he shouldn't be
embarrassed to get them then!!(Turns to run away)
Trunks: (Grabs Ranma)Nope, you ain't getting away. You're gonna get
those.
Gohan: Stop him.I mean her(Grabs Ranma)
Ranma-chan: Letgo, you fools!!!(Realizes something and screams)Eek!!!
Help!!!! These perverts are grabbing me!!!!
Gohan and Trunks: What?!?
Ranma-chan: (Smiles)Heh heh.
Yuu: Man, that's low.
(Three security guards rush to Ranma-chan)
Guard: Are you all right, miss?
Ranma-chan: (Smiles and point)They all groped me.
All: That's a lie!!!
Ranma-chan: (Acting innocent)Who're you gonna believe officer, little me
or those brutes over there?
Guard: Well, you of course.
Trunks: Ranma, if we get in trouble, we're all gonna come after you!!!
And we're gonna tell Alexis what you did.
Ranma-chan: ......
Gohan: Well, what are you going to do?
Ranma-chan: (Sighs and turns toward officer)Sorry about that mister.
They're really my friends. It's just that they snuk up behind me and
caught me by surprise. I thought they were someone else. Sorry `bout
that.(Giggles weakly)
(The guards eye Ranma a short while before shrugging their shoulders and
leaving)
Ranma-chan: (Turns toward group)I don't care. I still ain't gettin' no
tampons.(Peers down isle)Besides, there's girls standing in that isle.
Gohan: (Peers down isle)Damn, you're right.
Duo: Quite being such a wimp and get it.
Ranma-chan: Me? Why me?
Duo: Cause you`re a girl.
Ranma-chan: I don't care. What about you?
Duo: What about me?
Ranma-chan: Well, with hair like you're you could pass as a girl. You go
get it.
Duo: ......
Ranma-chan: Ryoga, you go get `em.
Trunks: Ryoga don't know what they look like.
Ranma-chan: So what?
Tamahome: (Gets an idea)Oh, I know how to get those girls away from that
isle.
Trowa: How?
Tamahome: Back in a sec.(Walks off)
Duo: I wonder where he's off to.
Gohan: What's he up to?
(Tamahome comes back, carrying another bottle of Poland Spring. This
time, he splashes Ryoga, changing him into a piglet)
P-chan: Bwee!!!(Bites Tamahome) Bwee!!!
Tamahome: Arghh!!!!
(He grabs P-chan and throws him down the isle. The little piglet lands
right by the females)
Girl: (Notices piglet)Aw, what a cute little pig. How'd he get in her.
SecondGirl: He's adorable.
P-chan: Bwee!!!
ThridGirl: He's so cute. I wanna hold him.
Girl: Oh, I have to hold him. Come here little piggy. I won't hurt you.
P-chan: Bwee!!!
Gohan: (To Ranma)When Ryoga runs away, those girls'll follow after him.
That's when you can go grab those tampons.
Ranma-chan: ......
Yuu: Hey, you do it or we tell Alexis.
Ranma-chan: All right. All right. I'll do it.
(All the guys at wait patiently as they watch the scene unfold down the
isle)
P-chan: Bwee!!!!
(Girl leans forward to pick up P-chan. Unfortunately, her shirt is gaped
at the neck, showing quite a bit of cleavage. P-chan faints)
Girl: It fainted.
SecondGirl: (Picks up P-chan)Are you all right, little guy?
ThirdGirl: I wonder why it fainted.
(Down the isle, every watch in horror. Their plan wasn't turning out the
way they expected)
Gohan: Hm, that wasn't supposed to happen.
Tamahome: Now what?
Ranma-chan: I know.
All: What?
(Ranma-chan kicks Tamahome forward)
Ranma-chan: C'mon, Tama-chan, go fetch him. Consider that payback for
splashing me.
(Tamahome was kicked from behind with such force that he was forced to
stumble forward, trying to regain his balance. He ends up running into
all three girls, falling on top of all three of them)
Ranma-chan: What the hell're you waitin' for, grab the damn pig and jet.
(Tamahome is too shocked to move. He realizes that not only did he fall
on top of three girls, but his hands were on two of the girls' breasts)
Girl: Pervert!!!!(Slaps Tamahome)
Gohan: (Watching Tamahome get slapped)Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
Trowa: (Sympathetically)Most definitely.
Tamahome: I-I'm s-sorry.
Trunks: Grab the pig!!! Grab the pig!!!
Girl: (Hearing Trunk)What did you say?!? I just heard you say grab the
pig!!! Are you calling me a pig?!?(Stalks off toward Trunks)
SecondGirl: (Slaps Tamahome)Get your filthy hands off me!!!
Yuu: I-I didn't mean it.
(He grabs P-chan and runs away. Two of the girls chase after him. The
other girl is heading toward Trunks down the isle)
Trunks: (Runs away)Oh man, I ain't saying to find out what she's going
to do with me.
(The rest watch, laughing out loud, as Trunks and Tamahome run for their
lives)
Gohan: Go get those tampons, Ranma, while the isle is clear and no one's
looking.
Ranma-chan: Fine.(Runs down isles)
(He reaches the shelf where all the tampons are laid out. He freezes)
Yuu: What the hell're you waiting for? Grab the damn tampons!
Ranma-chan: (Turns around)I don't know which ones! What color is the
box? There's so many of them! What does the list say?!
Hiro: Trunks! He has the list!
Gohan: And of course, he's a little busy right now.
Ranma-chan: (Looks back at shelf)Are you sure it said tampons? These
things say tampax?
Tamahome: They're probably the same thing. Just grab one of each color!
Trunks: (Running past them)Help!!!
Girl: (Also running past them)You come back here!!!!
Trowa: (Sighs)Man, this shopping thing's a lot harder than I thought.
Ranma-chan: (Holding twenty boxes of both tampax and tampons)This better
be enough!!!(Puts half of them in the sixth cart and the rest in the
seventh)Let's get outta here.(Realizes there's still one extra empty
cart)Oh well, I guess we won't be needing this one.
(The five guys, the other three still being chased, skillfully push all
seven carts to the cashier. The young female cashier regard all four
guys rather fondly)
Cashier: (Looks at cart)That's quite a lot of food you've got
there.(Notices tampons and tampaxs)And tampons and tampaxs.
Duo: (Points toward Ranma)It's for him.I mean it's for her.
Ranma-chan: No they're not!!!
Yuu: (Glares)Yes they are...
Ranma-chan: (Sighs)Yes, they're all mine.
(The cashier punch in the prices for all the food. She stares at the
little screen in disbelief)
Cashier: T-that'll be.wow, that's a lot.
Duo: How much?
Cashier: Sixty thousand five hundred and twenty yen.
Duo: (Takes wad of cash out of pocket)Here's seventy thousand yen. Keep
the change.
Ranma-chan: Jeez, Duo, where'd ya get all that damn money? Why dontcha
give me some, I'm always broke.
Duo: Get real. I earned this money.
Yuu: I would hardly call ripping off major corporations earning your
money.
Duo: Hey, it's what I do. Let's get outta here.
Gohan: (Smiling)Man, doing this stuff is much more fun than fighting
monsters.
Duo: Definitely.
Ranma-chan: Hmph
Gohan: C'mon, Ranma, you can't tell me you didn't have fun.
Ranma-chan: Well, I gotta admit, it was fun kicking Toma-chan into those
girls.
(They all step outside)
Ranma-chan: So how do we do this? I mean, there is a lot of food to
carry.
Duo: (Looks at Hiro and then Trowa)Well, I guess we could use our mechs
to carry `em home.
Ranma-chan: Fine then. We'll meetcha back at the apartment.
Duo: All right. See ya then.
(Fade to black)
<End for now>
Well, there you go. Another fanfic. As you can tell this is a
multi-crossover fanfic. Basically, I took all the supposedly guys that
girls considered cute in anime, and threw them together. This is just my
interpretation of what just might happen if a whole bunch of guys went
shopping for groceries. I hope you found this a bit funny, even though I
didn't. I just think the first part is funnier. With this one, I could
have basically threw any character into the story. In the other, at
least there was a girl in it so it would help show what kinda person
they are when there's a girl around ;) Naturally, I would like to thank
the creators of the series from whom I used their characters, but
there's just too many that I don't really want to bother. That, and the
fact that I don't know most of the creators for most of the people in
this story. Anyway, comments are welcomed. I'm sorry for any grammar or
spelling mistakes.
Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong
<Bye>
-OneShot
Jeffrey Keith Wong: jeffwong@li.net
http://www.rit.edu/~jkw7063/fanfic/index.htm
http://www.li.net/~jeffwong/index.htm
The latter site has been updated on Sept 29th.