D.Fire wrote:
Sword and Sorcery (tentative)
Chapter 4
by D.Fire
phongb9@idt.net
Ranma sat cross-legged on the floor of the basement. He was
currently in his male form with his hair tied back in a simple
ponytail. He meditated with a clear, purpose in mind. Over the past
several days, he had tried to recall the period of his life
immediately preceding his entry into this world, but had failed
miserably. Ranma was there now to hurdle the mental stumbling block.
Azure lay crouched beside him for both emotional and moral support.
He sure has changed a lot. Maybe we could see a little of the old Ranma
peeking through soon.
Simply recalling old memories was not the problem. Ranma
could still remember most of his time spent in the Tendou Dojo quite
well. He could remember all the various mishaps and magical mayhem
that plagued his life ever since Jusenkyo's power was brought to bear,
up until a certain point.
That point lay somewhere, as far as Ranma could tell, about
two years after his arrival at the Tendou Dojo. He concentrated hard
as he slipped into a deep trance. And then remembered. The final day
of his life on Earth came suddenly rushing back into his mind.
***
The day had started off in its usual way. Pop woke him at the
crack of dawn for their usual morning sparring match. Luck was on his
side that day as he managed to knock his father into the Tendou pond
without getting drenched.
Breakfast was normal. No fear of Akane's cooking. Whenever
Kasumi cooked, the feast that followed was inevitably great. In fact,
Ranma managed to escape the breakfast without being clobbered by
Akane, an event marking a continuing streak of luck.
Both Akane and he managed to get to school without mishap, and
both managed to get into class on time, only pausing briefly to knock
out an irritating nuisance at the school gate. That, though uncommon,
was not an unusual circumstance.
At lunch time, Shampoo crashed into the cafeteria, delivering
once again a load of magic-spiced food. For some reason, Ranma was
able to avoid eating it (probably because Akane slammed the meal over
him in a pique of anger). Mousse managed by this time to show up,
glomping one fern after another calling them, "Shampoo!"
Normal martial arts mayhem ensued after this, eventually
resulting in the forcible ejection of the two foreigners from the
school and the normal punishment in the hallway for Ranma, all in all,
a typical day for him.
This part was a little boring. Lots of authors use pretty much this
same scenario as an example of an "ordinary day" for Ranma. Maybe you
could show an actual normal day, no attacks or anything. The demon's
entrance would be more of a contrast then.
Things started going wrong for him when school ended.
Unusually enough, Nabiki cornered him (no incredible feat) after
school, in order to kick off some twisted money-making scheme of hers.
Pestering him, Nabiki accompanied them on his way home with Akane.
Then the demon showed up. That's when everything went
literally to hell in handbasket.
***
"Danma Saotomi, prepare to die!" roared the demon as it picked
up a handy car and tossed it at the trio of startled teens. "I, the
Great Malquat, will destroy you and all you hold dear."
How did the demomn identify Ranma? Does it have a picture?
Reacting with honed martial arts reflexes, Ranma launched a
ki-blast at the flying car. "Mouko Takabisha," he yelled as the blast
left his hands. He manged to direct the car to the side, sending it
crashing into a building to his side. Of course, this ruptured a
water pipe hidden within the wall, showering him and the two girls
with water.
Spluttering a bit, Ranma, now a she, shook the water out her
eyes. "Damn," she muttered as she gazed upon the destruction the car
had caused. "Gotta find a clear area to fight." Grabbing the two
shocked sisters beside him, she bounded to the roof of a nearby
building and took off at top speed toward a nearby soccer field.
"Come after me, you overgrown lobster," she taunted the demon as she
bounded away. Oh did I mention that the demon looked life a seafood
chef's worst nightmare?
You slipped into personal voice here, with the "I". Try to stay
consistent.
Halfway to the field, Akane snapped out her shocked state and
started struggling, demanding, "Ranma, put me down, I can run on my
own."
Giving her a stare, but not missing a beat in her stride,
Ranma pointedly told her, "This ain't the right time to be acting like
a tomboy, Akane. Did you see that thing pick up that car and throw it
at us. This is serious!"
Akane subsided as they finally reached the field.
"Okay, I'll hold it here while you two get away," Ranma
commanded, as she cracked her knuckles in anticipation. "Fightin'
monsters is my job. I can beat anything."
Akane replied, "No way! I'm a martial artist, too. I can
fight it."
"Are you nuts? This thing threw a car without breakin' a
sweat, err, uhh, getting red. If you stay, you'll only be in the
way!"
Akane started turning red and glowing blue as Nabiki, still in
shock, broke into the conversation saying, "Uh, Ranma. Why did you
drag me here anyway? The demon was after you, wasn't it?"
Even for Akane, this is a bit much. You'd think she'd be a little more
shook up.
Ranma replied with a question, "Would you rather I left you
there so it could have a snack first?"
"Now that you mention it, no. Bye!" said Nabiki as she
dragged Akane away toward the field opposite from the direction they
came.
Relieved that the two were safely leaving, Ranma turned back
to the far side of the field where she expected the demon to show.
She was soon rewarded with the demon's appearance.
"So, Kumquat, what's buzzing up your shell?" she asked as
readied herself.
Making fun of opponents. Classic Ranma. heh-heh
"That's Malquat, you puny mortal," the demon bellowed back.
"I have come to vanquish the champion foretold in the prophecy, Danma
Saotomi."
"I don't know who Danma Saotomi? I'm Ranma Saotome, of the
Saotome School of Indiscrimate Grappling. And I'm gonna kick your
skinny little oyster butt!" With that said, she closed in to go
hand-to-hand with the demon.
The demon swiped at her with one of its claws. Ranma ducked
under the swing and launched a retaliatory strike. "Kashuu Tenshin
Amaguriken", she yelled as she let loose a volley of 642 punches into
Malquat's chest.
Unfortunately, demon shell was a lot harder than a normal
lobster shell. In fact, it felt very much like punching a steel door,
642 times. Ranma cradled her hand as she leapt away from the demon in
pain.
'Damn! That hurt!' she thought as she took in the scene before
her. Her hand was bruised badly, but no bones were broken.
The demon laughed at her saying, "What did you expect to do?
That little punch didn't hurt at all."
"Well, laugh this off!" she yelled. Gathering her confidence,
she cupped her hands together, launching a ki-blast, "Mouko
Takabisha." To her horror, the ki-blast only pushed the demon back
slightly, causing it to stumble.
A piece of paper fluttered to the ground beside the demon,
having been jarred away from it by the ki-blast. Before it could
recover the parchment, Ranma dove in and snatched the paper,
immediately jumping away.
Distancing herself from demon, she read the parchment.
"Something ... something ... prophecy ... hero...Kumquat ...
something... Danma Saotomi. Hey waitaminute!" 'Danma Saotomi' was
written in Katakana over an obviously scratched group of Kanji
characters. "The hero is supposed to be... Hmm, I can't make this
out. ...aru ... nkugi?? Hey, this is Happosai's handwriting. Why,
that old fart!" Ranma fumed in anger but continued, "Oh well. I
guess I'll have to kill this demon anyway. It is a monster after
all." Crumpling the paper, she tossed it far away.
Maybe having two of his daughters sucked into another dimension will
make Soun angry enough to stand up to Happosai.
Turning back to the demon, she called out, "Even if I'm the
hero of your so called prophecy, didn't it occur to you that I didn't
know about it (which I didn't)? By coming here and finding me, you
fulfilled the prophecy."
Unusually clear thinking for Ranma. This might be better coming from
someone else. (Nabiki maybe?)
At this, the demon paused, saying "D'oh!" Waving its claws,
it continued, "Never mind that. The hero would eventually find out.
Yeah! That's it!" it tried to reassure itself.
Using the distraction, Ranma threw a massive ki-blast this
time. "MOUKO TAKABISHA." Same result happened as before.
A moment later, Malquat was back on its feet, still looking
unhurt. "Time to end this game," it bubbled as it charged Ranma.
Because Ranma was still in shock from the lack of effect her ki-blast
had on the demon, it managed to snag her in one of its giant pincers.
Then it started squeezing.
Ranma gritted her teeth in pain as she fought off the
blackness threatening to overwhelm her. Her last thought as the
darkness came was, 'I-I failed.' Suddenly, she heard giant KLANG!
The grip around waist loosened and she fell to the ground landing
hard. Still partially blind, she scrambled away from the demon in a
panicked crab-walk.
After her sight cleared, she was greeted with an almost
comical sight. The demon was jumping up and down, holding its
crushed tail. Ranma lost all humor as she saw the mallet lying off to
the side. Akane lay a few feet beyond the mallet with a line of red
trailing down her face.
Warily circling the mad demon, Ranma reached Akane's side and
cradled her head in her lap. Tears threatened to fall as Ranma bent
over the silent girl. "You dummy, I told you to run away," she
whispered tearfully.
Akane suddenly shifted and moaned, "Owww. What hit me?"
"You're alive!" Ranma almost shouted as she gripped Akane in a
fierce bearhug. "Uh, I mean, I knew that demon couldn't have hurt an
uncute tomboy like you," she amended as she slightly distanced herself
from Akane.
Leveling a stare at Ranma, Akane said in a serious tone, "I
wasn't completely out of it you know. I'll deal with you later."
Then she winked and a glimmer of smile appeared on her face.
Is she angry, or not?
Meanwhile, the demon by this time had recovered from the
painful loss of it's tail and had managed to circle around to the
backside of Ranma. Ranma, in the moment of emotion, had lost track of
it, so Malquat prepared to deliver a death blow to the two teens on
the ground.
"Ran-chan! Look out!" Ukyou yelled as she entered the fray.
Throwing spatulas with pinpoint precision, Ukyou nailed the demon dead
center. The spatulas bounced off the demon's shell, deflecting into
the ground and the air. Ukyou managed to distract the demon, however.
Ranma used the distraction to leap away with Akane in her
arms.
Ryouga, who followed Ukyou into the field, saw Akane hurt in
Ranma's arms. He yelled at Ranma, "What did you to Akane, you
honorless bastard?"
Maybe you could mention that "they had heard the commotion and followed
it to its source" or something. To have them just show up without
explanation grates.
'Honorless bastard, indeed,' Ranma thought. 'Talk about a
kettle calling the pot black.' She yelled back, "Look, moron! See
that big lobster demon over there. It did this to her. Use your
brain, P-chan."
Staring daggers at Ranma that promised later retribution,
Ryouga jumped at the demon, throwing black and yellow bandanas at it.
Most of the flying cloth missed the demon as it ducked and dodged.
The few ones that did hit merely skidded off it's hard shell. Quickly
following in after his whirlwind bandanas, Ryouga managed to reach the
demon and stuck his finger into the ground. He yelled, "Bakusei
Tenketsu." The ground underneath both he and the demon exploded,
throwing the lobster five feet into the air. Ryouga leapt away before
the dust settled.
Landing badly but apparently unhurt, Malquat jumped to its
feet roaring, "Enough!" Gathering itself, it leapt at its original
target, namely Ranma, and incidently at Akane, since she was in
Ranma's arms. Before it could reach them, Ukyou was before it with
giant spatula at the ready.
Ukyou neatly batted the monster away from her Ran-chan. Off
to the side came a shout, "Shi Shi Houkodan!", as Ryouga ki-blasted
Malquat even farther away.
Suddenly, Shampoo appeared with Mousse trailing her. Nabiki,
who had led them here, quickly ran over to where Ranma and Akane
crouched.
Having led them there, why does Nabiki hang around? She didn't hesitate
to leave before.
Shampoo jumped at the creature, wielding her bonbori with
skill. She yelled, "Aiyah! Shampoo kill demon for ai ren!" as she
closed in with the demon and struck several times. Unlike before with
Ryouga's bandanas and Ukyou's spatulas, Shampoo's bonbori did visible
damage to Malquat's shell, leaving huge dents.
Malquat reeled back from the blows and in a move of
desperation, back-handed (or is that back-clawed) Shampoo away,
knocking her out and away.
Mouss, seeing this (a miracle for the blind boy), yelled out
an anguished, "Shampoo!" With the fury of a beserker, he tossed ten
metal chains at the demon, wrapping and ensnaring it. This gave the
whole crew some breathing room as the monster struggled to free
itself.
In the sudden silence, only the breaking of metal links could
be heard. Mousse yelled, "Ranma, its breaking free! Do something!"
Someone else should probably have this line, maybe one of the girls. I
don't think Mousse would be crying to Ranma for help.
Furiously, Ranma thought, 'This thing is tough. Bladed
weapons don't seem to affect it, but Shampoo's bonbori seemed to
really hurt it! And so did Akane's mallet, for that matter.' "That's
it!" she yelled out loud. "Ryouga, it's up to you and me to kill this
thing!"
Ryouga, for his part, stared at her and said, "Huh?!"
Ranma outlined her plan to Ryouga, "We need to be on opposite
sides of that thing. Then we both throw our strongest ki-attacks at
it at the same time."
Again, Ryouga most intelligently said, "Huh?!"
Cm'on. Ryouga is usually quick enough to grasp battle tactics.
"Never mind why. I don't have any time to explain! Just do
it!" Ranma yelled as she bounded at the creature.
"Sheesh! Okay," Ryouga grumbled as he followed Ranma.
The two managed to get into position just as the last of
Mousse's chains broke sending Mousse flying.
"On two!" yelled Ranma. "One. Two. MOUKO TAKABISHA!" she
yelled as she released her blast.
"SHI SHI HOUKODAN!" came from Ryouga on the other side as he
released his blast.
The two powerful ki-blasts came together and met head-on with
the demon Malquat firmly sandwiched in between. For a full five
seconds, both blasts raged as a high-keening sound emerged from the
conflagration. Suddenly, a sickening squish resounded over the field.
As the light from the blasts died away, revealing Malquat's broken
form in the center.
Ranma's plan worked. Because Malquat had his armor, most
blows were deflected, not causing any substantial damage. The force
of the blows caused damage, but single-directional blows only push the
demon around. With the two powerful blasts occurring at the same time
and in direct opposition, Malquat was caught in between and was
crushed like a giant bug.
A broken voice floated from the crushed armor. "You .. have
beaten .. me, ... mortals. But .. you will not .. live .. to enjoy..
it. When ... I go ... to ... Hell .. so .. shall ... you."
The gathered teens could not make any sense of that statement
because Malquat was down and was obviously unable to rise. Then the
ground began rumbing.
Sensing imminent danger, Ranma yelled to the rest, "RUN!", but
it was too late.
A shimmering hole opening up over the body of demon, and a
fierce wind started sucking all of them toward it's center. The
corpse got sucked in first. Mousse and Shampoo came next, being
unconscious. The others, however grabbed whatever they could, to stop
When did Mousse become unconscious?
from being pulled in. Akane held onto her sister and a goal post.
Ukyou jammed her spatula into the ground and held onto that. Ryouga,
following Ukyou's example, planted his umbrella in the ground and held
on to dear life. Ranma, having no weapon nor convenient goal post,
used the last of her strength to punch into the ground and held on
that way.
The wind crescendoed to an incredible roar as hurricane and
tornado-strength winds buffeted the hapless teens. Ukyou lost her
grip on her spatula and was sucked in. Then came Ryouga, whose fierce
strength could not save him. Nabiki spiralled in next, after Akane
lost her hold on her wrist. Akane soon followed as her strength
waned. Only Ranma was left.
Just as suddenly as they started, the winds stopped. Ranma,
looking around saw none of her friends, nor her fiancee. "Akane," she
whispered to no one, as she took stock of the situation. The
shimmering hole, once 10-foot wide quickly shrunk. Decision made,
Ranma uprooted herself and running, took a diving leap, entering the
hole as it shrunk to a bare body's width in size.
I see why Ranma was the last for dramatic reasons, but with Ryouga's
strength you'd think he'd be the last one left and dive after Akane. By
the way, no Kunos? This means Tatewaki has lost both his loves! How
can you do this to him. :)
The glowing hole shrunk to nothing, as dead silence covered
the field.
That was just the beginning of the weirdness.
This is a really interesting story so far. I want to see where you go
with it. I hope they didn't all get amnesia (though youthening them all
so they'll all be the same age is OK). It would be neat to see a
perspective on this world unchanged by being raised there. (Besides,
just imagine a 6-year old Nabiki with a teenage mind. What havoc might
she wreck!)