*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7"
EPISODE 8: MEN OF BOKKEN
(A Ranma 1/2 MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7 and Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....
"Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and all the
distributors of her work.
"Men of Bokken" is the property of M. Llave and he's welcome to it.
I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but
I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this
as another form of C&C. ;)
THE HOLOCABANA
21:02 HOURS
"I guess it's not a good day to be a bad guy, eh, Forrester?"
Crow T. Robot stood over the terrified form of Dr. Clayton
Forrester. His face was painted white and he wore a black trenchcoat
while the lime green labcoat of Dr. F was torn and tattered.
A videotape suddenly appeared in Crow's hand and he threw it
into Dr. F's face, another tape taking it's place. "Each of these represents
a film....A film that you made us watch....Manos.....Santa Claus Vs. The
Martians....Mr. B. Natural....not to mention all the Sailor Moon fanfics
you've subjected us to lately...." Crow growled menacingly.
"P....Please....Have mercy...." Dr. F. begged him.
"Mercy? The same mercy you showed us when you made us
watch Artemis's Lover? NEVER! It's time you find out what it feels
like to be on the receiving end of your....EXPERIMENTS!!!"
And with that, Crow slammed his hand on Dr. Forrester's
forehead. Dr. F screamed as the tortured images of numerous bad
films, flooded his mind.
"It's too much! TOO MUCH!!!" Dr. F bellowed as he
covered his eyes, trying to rid himself of the images he was forced
to witness. Corny special effects, long winded dialogue, gratuitous
overacting, lack of interesting plot, strings used for levitaion, actors
looking off-screen for their lines, flies buzzing around the actors as they
tried to carry a conversation, and it just kept going on and on....
"All the pictures you forced us to watch....ALL AT ONCE....
ALL FOR YOU, CLAYTON...." Crow finished in a deadly whisper.
"Crow?"
Crow spun around to see Joel standing by the door, unaffected
by the simulated rain pouring from the black sky. "Not now, Joel!
Crow begged. This is the best part of the program!"
Joel shook his head. "As much as I enjoy seeing Dr. F getting
what he deserves, the loadpan needs cleaning and you've already left
it for two nights in a row. It has to be done now."
"Aw, man!" Crow sighed. "All right. Magic Voice, end program
and save." A moment later, the scenario vanished.
"Sorry about that Crow but it's not like you haven't run that
program a million times already in the last week...." Joel said.
"Yeah, yeah...." Crow grumbled as he followed Joel out of the
Holocabana. As they made their way to the bridge, they noticed a red
light flashing.
"Hey Joel, the Mads are calling." Tom announced.
* * *
DEEP 13
"Ah, if it isn't Hewey Lewis and the News...." Dr. Forrester
exclaimed as his viewscreen came to life. "I trust you have your
experiment ready for my evaluation, Joel?"
"Yes, sir...." Joel replied as he placed a Sony Playstation on
the counter. Attached to the playstation was a small black box with
the initials *FFSUCK* in gold letters. Taking a few moments to set up
everything, he proceeded with the demonstration of his invention.
"You may have heard about Final Fantasy VII, one of the
hottest games out at the moment. Just about everybody with a PSX
is giving this game a crack and just about everyone seems to love it.
People are flooding into stores to buy them, some of them going as far as
renting the games several times in a row at local Blockbusters to play this
game."
"So what I've done is taken the basic graphic design of the game
and transferred it into this machine attached to the playstation...." Joel
gestured at the black box. "Which in turn, allows you to create any
type of RPG fantasy world that you want, any characters, locations,
powers, weapons, etc. that you want and when you're done, you simply
program the box to send the design back into the playstation and viola!
Instantly, you've got the game of your dreams with the same quality in
graphics, sound and everything else as the original Final Fantasy VII!
"You can even transfer all the characters you have from
previous games into the new ones. Imagine being about to see Tifa
Lockheart in every FMV sequence. You would never miss out on her
*talent*." Crow added.
"And best of all..." Joel continued. "When Final Fantasy VII
gets old after a few years and the next one comes up, it automatically
upgrades the box to meet the specifications of the new game by utilizing
a special memory chip that releases a series of nanoprobes into the
game's matrix, altering it to meet the specifications of the game you
choose to design. Since each game in unique, space can be made for
what you DO want in your game and what you don't want can be
compressed and quietly tucked away. I've decided to call it "Final
Fantasy Seven Universe Construction Kit" or "FFSUCK" What do
you think, sirs?"
Dr. Forrester cocked an eyebrow. "I must admit, Joel, that's
quite an invention. You might want to work a bit on that short form
name though...."
Joel shrugged. "Best I could come up with in short notice."
Dr. Forrester nodded in understanding. Then an evil grin
came over his face as he prepared to unleash his own diabolical
creation.
"My invention this week deals with the recent addition of
a new cast member to "Star Trek: Voyager" This Borg turned human
female has vastly improved the ratings for this show thanks to the
fact she's wearing a skin tight suit and all the males who previously
dismissed the show as a weak spinoff are now tuning in to the program
in droves. This has encouraged me to do something similar to boost
out own ratings...."
Joel blinked in surprise. "You're sending someone else up
here with us? A gorgeous girl like the one on Voyager?"
Dr. Forrester laughed. "Of course not, you doorknob! No, I
plan to use the very satellite you're living in to broadcast a massive
jamming signal that will effectively black out any scenes with the girl
on Voyager and instead, broadcast her image on OUR show so all of
Voyager's viewers will tune in to us and we'll double, perhaps even
triple our sales revenue!"
"Sayyyyy....that doesn't sound half bad." Crow remarked.
"Sure, millions of Trekkers will be denied the chance to see this woman
but we'll still get to see her every week and our rating's will skyrocket!"
"Sounds great to me, sirs!" Tom agreed enthusiastically.
"I'm glad you think so, boys....because if you're right and the
ratings DO go through the roof because of her presence, then I dare
say, I won't be needing the three of you on the bridge any more....and
you know what THAT means...."
Joel and the bots stared at the screen with horror....
"Y....You don't mean....?" Crow stammered.
"That's right! Since our ex-voyager employee will be capturing
the viewer's....ahem....attentions, I can keep you inside the theater,
showing you crappy movies and fanfics non-stop for the rest of your
lives! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Joel found his mouth had gone dry. Then suddenly he spoke
again. "Wait a minute, sirs! What about the female viewers?
"That's easy." Dr. Forrester replied smugly. "We'll put in a
silhouette of Duo Maxwell in the theater since most woman seem to be
attracted to him for some reason." Dr. Forrester shrugged. "Anyway,
while you await your replacement, your experiment this week is a
delightfully horrid short,"Men of Bokken" by M. Llave, who you may
remember as the creator of one of your past experiments, "The War"
Until later, TTFN!"
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"You're evil! EVIL!!!" Tom shouted as the image of Dr.
Forrester winked off the screen. Then Tom turned to Joel, a look
of deep concern on his face. "What are we going to do now, Joel?
Dr. F's going to replace us like Kari Wuhrer replaced John
Rhyes-Daves on Sliders!"
"Hey, I happen to like Kari Wuhrer!" Crow retorted.
"You would...." Tom grumbled as he turned away.
Joel placed a sympathetic hand on Tom's shoulder. "It's not
all that bad, Tom. Even if Dr. Forrester does keep us in the theater
all the time, at least none of us will be alone...."
Before Tom could say anything else, alarms and sirens
suddenly rang out.
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.
"So what? Why should we go into the theater if we're going
to be kicked out anyway?" Tom replied angrily.
"Come on, Tom....You know what Dr. F will do if any of us
refuse to enter the theater...." Joel cautioned his friend.
Tom seemed to hesitate a moment longer and then reluctantly
allowed Joel to scoop him up into his arms. Joel then walked towards
the theater doors, Crow walking behind him....
(Door 6: It's made of "Barbed Wire" director cuts. You force yourself
not to sneak a peak.)
(Door 5: It's made of hay. You search it and find a needle to pick the lock.
(Door 4: It falls towards you, missing your foot by millimeters.)
(Door 3: It's made of ice. You use a bag of road salt to melt a hole.)
(Door 2: It's made of solid rock. Fortunately, Ryouga was wandering by
at the time and smashed a path for you.)
(Door 1: It swirls open from the center.)
(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)
Joel walks into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow
following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom
from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of
the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right.
Men Of Bokken
Joel: Previous Title: Men with blunt wooden sticks.
Crow: (Singing) The blue thunder's rumblin' and It's raining men of
bokken all over....
Tom: Hallelujah!
a Fan fic by: M. Llave
Joel: Hey! I though peace was suppose to come after The War....
Hi again all you Ranma fan fic lovers!
Tom: (imitating M. Llave) And for you all you Artemis lovers out
there, take a hike!
This is my fourth try at one and I hope I'm up to it. It's still in its
draft stage and pls.
Tom:Let's hope it remains in its draft stage. That way, it'll never really see
the light of day on RAAC.
Crow: Pls? What the hell's with this pls crap? Didn't M. Llave do this
in his other story?
Joel: Someone PLS read my fanfics...
comment so that it would get better. If it sucks
Crow: If it DIDN'T suck, then we wouldn't be reading this, right?
Tom: Well said.
Joel: Give it a chance, guys....
then mail me at mig@philonline.com.ph and if it doesn't then still
mail me to tell me how to improve this thing.
Crow: (imitating Howard Stern) Put in LESBIANS! More LESBIANS!!!
Joel: Crow....
Pls. Enjoy my trash!
Joel: It's cheap, white and it's delivered to you *gladly* by a guy in a
white leisure suit and a deep voice....
Crow:There it is again?! What's with that damn pls?! It's more annoying that
reading the word *smarter* in that 'Transitions' story.
Tom: Hey! We're not suppose to know about that! That was the
alternate universe, remember?!
Crow: It's a fanfic....You should really just relax.
-Book One-
Tom: Book em, Danno...
Crow: You've seen one book, you've seen em all....
Joel: If you only read one book this year....You must be watching too
much anime....
Intro:
Tom: Gasp! You're KIDDING me!?!
Crow: Also known as the beginning, start or opening....
Nabiki walked up the hill with her small daughter.
Joel: To fetch a pail of water?
She held her daughters soft hand calmly. As she neared the top of the
hill she looked at the graves around them.
Tom: Let's see....Ranko's life....Ryouga: Futureshock....Ranma's Sudden
Switch: Revenge of the Oni....The Price of Passion....Catkiller....
Crow: Let's pray "The Long and Winding Road" Pt. 2 never shows up
up here....
Joel: Amen to that....
Crow: (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge, finish the darn fic. ;)
The wooden boards which served as the grave stones glowed a dark
yellow as the sun was setting. She held a
Tom:Hmm, I never thought Nabiki would actually stoop low enough to
grave robbing for some money.
Crow: Why not? She stooped to necrophilia in "The War"....
Joel: Crow....
flower in her other hand and so did her daughter. She looked pretty
much the same after all this time and her daughter was an exact replica
of her only smaller.
Tom: (imitating Nabiki) She's about the same as me as a child....well, shorter.
Crow: Nabiki better hope her daughter never learns the Happo-Five-Yen
technique from Hinako....
Joel: Knowing she's Nabiki's daughter, she'll probably never go below a
Happo-hundred-yen technique...
Her eyes slowly glistened with tears as she neared a grave with a sword
stabbed on the middle of it.
Tom: Those bastards! It's bad enough they spray painted his tombstone
but this is going too far!!
Joel: Maybe they put that there in the hope that a bolt of lightning would
strike it and bring Kunou back to life....
Crow: Hey, it worked for Johnny 5....
She stopped for awhile to look at it as a cold wind blew on the both of
them.
Joel: (imitating the wind) Am I....turning you on?
She continued walking slowly towards this grave stabbed with a sword.
When she reached the front of it she knelt down and embraced the
cold piece of wood that was erected on the grave.
Crow: Hey, check it out, Nabiki's getting an erection!
Joel: She's just holding the wood that's erected!
Crow: So that means she's holding erected wood, huh? Hm...it's is morning
afterall, and you know how guys are in the morning....
Joel:Crow...
"Oh Bokeru…, I will be with you soon…", she said tears flowing
down her face.
All: (singing) BOKERU! How do ya do? BOKERU! What did you say?
BOKERU! BO-KE-RU!!!
Joel: (snaps his fingers) And I missed him again!
Her daughter was beside her also embracing the piece of wood,
tears in her eyes, murmuring, "Daddy ! Daddy !".
Tom: I don't know whether to laugh or throw up....
Crow: (imitating daughter) Ow! A splinter! Daddy, you need a shave!
Joel: Boy, I hope the wind doesn't pick up any more or they'll have to
burn their father just to stay warm....
Tom: Kinda gives new meaning to *cremation* doesn't it?
Nabiki looked at her beautiful little daughter and she turned
back again to the wooden board and said, "We miss you so much!",
and her tears flowed even harder.
Tom: Geez, It's just wood!!! Go out and cut down another tree, buy a
couple of baseball bats or something but get on with your life already!!!
Crow: (imitating Nabiki sobbing) Oh, sweet, sweet, board of wood....I
miss you even more than my worthless husband. I miss those days when
Kunou left to fight somewhere and I would open my kimono a little bit
and ever so slowly....
Joel: Crow....
She looked at her back and saw the object that started it all, the object
that had brought her to him and the object that would soon later take
him from her.
Tom: A lit candle?
Joel: A gun?
Crow: A rubber chicken with a pulley in a middle?
She looked at the white bandanna which was tied loosely at its handle.
Tom: That's what Ryouga gets for trying to bleach the stripes from his
bandanna....
She slowly reached for it and tightened it a little more. As she touched
the old fabric she memories came rushing by, as if it was only a moment
ago;
Tom: Birth, childhood, teenager, Kunou, Ranma, money, more money,
lot's and lot's of money, even more money, adulthood, second childhood,
first child, death of husband, loss of wood. Whew, that's the whole lot!
that this metal bokken had changed their lives and had made her
husband a man of the bokken...
Tom: Metal bokken? I always thought bokkens were considered wooden
swords....
Crow: Bokken: Version 1.2
Joel:He must've been and honorable man. To live by the bokken is to die by the
bokken....
Crow: Why do I suddenly have the urge to hum the theme to Braveheart?
Men of Bokken -Book One-
by: M. Llave
Chapter 1: "The Stick"
Tom: Wow....I tell ya, some people have trouble coming up with titles
for their chapters that not only sound cool but are relevant to the
upcoming scene, but not M. Llave, he knows what works and he sticks
to it....
Joel: I dunno....If this chapter is as bad as the prologue, we might as
well starting calling it "The Shtick"
The wind blew weakly on Furikan High.
Crow: The wind should cut down on smoking.....
Tom: Either that or it's worn out from blowing Nabiki....
Joel: Tom!
Tom: What? The wind WAS blowing Nabiki and her daughter,
wasn't it?!?
Joel: (sighs) Never mind.
It was another typical day there with the exclusion of the fact that
there was a new being entering the school.
Tom: Being? What kind of Being? It must be a very different kind of
being if it's in Nerima....
Crow: Yeah, maybe it's human.
He wore the uniform of a bokkeneir but had no stick on his side.
Joel: Bokkeneir?
Crow: I never knew Kunou had groupies....
Tom: (imitating Kunou) All for one and both Akane and the pigtailed
girl for myself!
Only a wooden ruler about a foot long filled the place for his sword.
Tom: You can always tell the measure of a man by the size of his ruler....
Crow: That's sick, Tom....
He walked slowly into the building not minding the huge crowed of
men who were waiting for something to enter the gate.
Crow: Crowed of men'? What does that mean?
Tom: Perhaps they were all in fanfics we MSTed?
Joel: You're right! There's Judge Brainitite having a drink with Nuku
Nuku! And over there! It's Solider 1 from "Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla"
Hey, gotten over the guilt of leaving your partner to die yet?
Crow: Hey look! Maieson, Megumi and Miko from "Hellraisers" are
having a threesome in the corner! Isn't that cute! And there's Blooditite
trying to make a pass at the female Ryouga from "Accused"....Ouch!
That's going to hurt, come the morning.
Tom: (imitating Oscar) So, Shampoo....I hear you change into a cat with
cold water....
He walked calmly down he aisle towards the Kendo Club training hall. He
reached the place and slid the door open to reveal a multitude of
men waving sticks at each other.
Tom: Oh, look. They're playing fetch....
Crow: Is it just me or do those last two sentences produce some very
unpleasant images in my head?
Joel: Maybe this was where Sailor Moon learned how to use that moon
scepter of hers?
Tom: Damn, these flies are hard to swat with just a bokken.
"Who is the leader of thus Kendo Club, I challenge him to duel",
he said with a low deep voice.
Crow: (imitating bokkeneir) How do you like my Grimlock impression?
Tom: He's been taking lessons from Michael Dorn.
All the men turned around and looked at him. They say a sight
resemblance of this man with their infamous leader, Kuno.
Crow: Huh? Why would they say that?
Joel: It's not what they say, it's how they say it....
Tom: I think the author got the words *say* and *sight* mixed up. It
should be *saw* and *slight*
Crow: Too bad the author couldn't *say* that *sight* error before
posting this story.
They all laughed and ran toward the new student. Thirty seven sticks
pointed towards this new student as he took his ruler out.
Tom: Time to see who the true *ruler* of the Kendo Club shall be!
Crow: Having forgotten their bokkens at home, the Kendo Club quickly
improvised by wielding their pool cues.
Joel: It's the Magnificent Thirty Seven!
Crow and Tom: (hums theme to the Magnificent Seven)
The Kendo club members all gave a battle cry before hitting the new guy.
All: (imitating Kendo Club) WE SHALL SMITE THEE!!!!
Akane finished off the second to the last man who blocked her
path into the school.
Tom: Where'd she come from?!?
Crow: Uh oh....I think the scene changed on us, guys.....
Joel: Aw, man! Not another fic with no breaks in the action.....
Kuno was next and he was about to pronounce his daily stupid
"Welcome to School Akane" speech,
Crow: Immediately followed by his "Welcome to School Pig Tailed Girl"
speech....
Joel: And concluded with him getting the living crap beaten out of him.
when thirty seven men screamed in pain as they flew out of the
school building.
Tom: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's 37 guys with sticks waving
around everywhere!
Crow: (imitating Akane) But I wanted 40 thieves!
"What the!", Ranma blurted in shock.
Tom: That's what I was about to say! Where the hell did Ranma come
from?
Crow: Maybe he was one of the 37 people?
Joel: Wow. Imagine if that Bokkeneir had a yardstick....
"Ranma!!! What did you do now!", Akane yelled at him.
"Nothing Akane! Geez always blaming everything on me!"
Crow: Geez's sure got a temper, that's for sure....
"Silence insolent whelp! You have caused enough damage to the
people of this school. Die Ranma Saotome!!!!!!!!!!!!", yelled Kuno as
he ran towards Ranma bokken in his hands.
Joel: (imitating Kunou) This attack might have failed the last 3000 times
I tried it, but THIS time, I've got Ranma for sure!
As he ran he heard the sound of a falling body over his head.
Joel: Must be a board meeting....
Crow: More specifically, Kunou heard the screams of fear and a rendition
of the lord's prayer coming from the body as it plummeted towards the
earth....
Tom: If a body falls over someone's head, and that someone is Kunou,
and no one is around to hear it, does anyone care?
He looked up and saw the new student. He yelled at him as he got
squished.
Crow: (imitating Kunou) OH SHI.....
Joel: Crow....
"Oh sorry, do you know a Tatewaki Kuno here?", he asked the
flattened Kuno beside him.
Tom: Wait a minute! If the student is on top of Kunou, then how can
he be talking beside him?
Crow: A transporter beam with a millisecond delay? How the hell should
I know?!?
"I am him! Tatewaki Kuno the team captain of Furikan High's
Kendo Club, you insolent whelp!
Joel: Correct me if I'm wrong, but since when has Kunou ever used the
term "whelp"?
Tom: Poetic license.
Crow: In Kunou's hands, that's a license to kill....
For this prepare to see Hell!", Kuno shouted at this new being.
Joel: Hey! It's bad enough you rip off Shakespeare but now you have to
go stealing Ryouga's rantings as well?
Crow: Never mind that. I want to know what species this new student
is. They keep referring to him as a *being*.....
"Wait I'm… Ah…", the new student said as he dodged Kuno's
bokken.
Joel: ....Megami-Sama?
Crow and Tom: My Goddess! Joel finally got it right!
***So he has got some skill in him, well let us put thy to
test!***
Tom: Was that supposed to be one of Kunou's thoughts?
Crow: Either that or the author decided to make a cameo appearance....
"You mock the great Tatewaki Kuno by flattening him, die
fiend!!! Take this tembatsu dadadadaddadadadada!!!"
Tom: Kuno's trying to smite the student by imitating a machine gun?
Crow: Why don't these guys just buy a gun in the first place? The battles
will end in just one second.
Joel: If they did, they'd be out of character, like Akane from Slayer 1/2
"Ah!!!", the new student shouted. ***He knows the secret move!
Well then I will fight fire with fire***
Joel: (imitating new student) Eat this, punk! RAT-TATTATATATAT
ATATATATAT!!!!
Crow: First person to run out of spit, loses!
"TEMBATSU DADADADADADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", the new student
screamed at Kuno as he replaced his ruler with a bokken kept at his
back.
Tom: Along with the wind....
"What the!", Ranma blurted out as he saw the two beings slashing
their bokkens at each other.
Joel: You know, both of them are so good, I just can't decide who to
cheer for....
Crow: How about Nabiki? She's probably cleaning up at the betting table
because of this.
Suddenly the two went flying and slammed on to trees opposite
each other. The two stood up again and Kuno asked the new student a
question, "How does thy know thou attack!?", he said weakly
"What? What did you say? I'm a little deaf can you please peak
louder."
Crow: (imitating Kunou) Well....okay. Just give me a few seconds to
pull out my half naked pictures of the pig-tailed girl and....
Joel: Crow!
Tom: (imitating new student) orry! an ou epeat hat ne ore ime?
Kuno ran forward and cried, "DIE!!!".
Crow: (imitating Kunou) Die! Die Hard! Die Harder! Die Hard with
a Vengence! Just Die, already!!!:
The new student jumped up a tree and greeted Kuno with his
tongue.
All: AUUUUUUGHHH!!!
Tom: Let me guess....The new student is french?
Crow: I betcha the girls LOVE him.
Joel: Crow...
"Beeeeeh!!! Pwpwpwpwwh! You think I would.. agh aghhh…",
Bokeru said as he grasped his stomach and fell down the tree.
Tom: (imitating Bokeru) I just realized what I did....it was really gross!
Crow: Maybe he got a whiff of "Artemis' Lover"
Tom: It's not THAT bad. It's probably the Eboa virus.
Joel: By the way....Who's Bokeru?
Tom: The guy from the beginning remember? Hey....that means he's
the one Nabiki was crying over with her daughter.
Crow: Crying over his erect wood, you mean?
Kuno stopped for a while and wondered how could this be?
Tom: We've been wondering the same thing since this fanfic began.....
Meanwhile Akane ran towards the new student in pain. Ranma walked
closely by her and though, ***Geez guess he ate some of Akane's food.***
Crow: Geez, I'm getting sick of Ranma using the word *Geez* to start
a sentence.
Joel: (imitating Akane) Geez, always blaming everything on my cooking!
"Hey buddy are you all right?", Ranma asked as Akane neared the
being in pain.
Tom: There it is again....*being*....just what the hell is this guy anyway?
"Hahahahaha, insolent fool, this is your fate for messing with
the great Tatewake Kuno! I smite thee!!!"
Crow: Glad to see Kunou's as humble as ever when it comes to winning....
"Dumb jerk its my liver!!! I have some sickness idiot! And I'm
the guy you ordered from the agency, I'm Bokeru!!!",
Joel: (imitating Bokeru) Eat my polka dot shorts, Kunou! I'm
BOKERU!!!
Crow: Just wait till the rest of Bokeru's posse hears about this! Bear,
Marigold and Humpty Dumpy are going to get medieval on Kunou's ass....
hey yelled at him as Ranma and Akane helped bring Bokeru to the
clinic.
Tom: Hey! HEY! I'm talking to you! HEY YOU! HEY!!!
Joel: Hey is for horses and cows, grass is cheaper.
Crow: Bite me.
Out of curiosity Ranma left Akane and Bokeru for a while and
asked Kuno what that was all about.
Crow: How the hell do you run out of curiosity?
Joel: When you've killed the cat?
"Hey Kuno what was that guy talking about?"
"Ah murmuring about his defeat! Alas he is not worthy to be
called an opponent of Tatewake Kuno! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"
Joel: I guess Kunou's got a right to gloat after getting his ass kicked by
Ranma all the time....
"Well he really is the brother of Kodatchi", Ranma said to
himself.
Crow: True, but Kodachi's got a killer body to go with the laugh so it's
worth putting up with....if you have ear plugs and are immune to every
known type of poison that is....
Tom: And don't forget, when she laughs, her chest needs to move up
and down...
Joel: Tom...
"RANMA!!!", a Bokeru carrying Akane shouted.
Tom: You mean there's more than one Bokeru? And they're carrying Akane?
Crow: (imitating Ranma) Geez, Akane! You get all bent out of shape
when I do that for Shampoo or Ukyou so why do you get to do it?!?
Joel: (imitating P-Chan) Hey! That's MY spot!
"Quit blabbering and help me carry this guy you dummy!", she
yelled at him.
"Okay! Okay, I'm coming I'm coming!", he yelled back as he
turned his face away from Kuno.
Crow: I'd turn my face away too if I came so brazenly in front of....
Joel: Crow.....
Chapter 2: "In the Navy!!!"
Tom and Crow: (singing) We can sail the seven seas!
Joel: I'd rather put my mind at ease....
If you want to suggest, comment or anything about this fan fic
Crow: Might I suggest clarifying what that scene at the beginning of the
story was all about?
Tom: Anything? Can we feed it to the sharks?
then mail me at: mig@philonline.com.ph
Joel: I don't know about you guys, but I've had my phil of this fanfic.
Tom: Let us depart to a better place....
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Joel, the Madds are calling again...."
Joel hit the red button without much enthusiasm.
Dr. Forrester's image appeared on the screen, a scowl evident
on his features. Joel took this immediately as a good sign. "What's going
on, sir?" Joel inquired curiously.
Dr. Forrester heaved a sigh as he replied. "It....seems that I
was wrong about the Borg woman replacing you on the bridge. When
word got out to the fans that you were going to be set decorations instead
of featured players, they threatened to switch to Bob Saget and America's
Funniest Home Videos. Personally, I would have let them all go but I
can't keep my budget up without your ratings so it appears you'll be resuming
your normal duties on board the Satellite....for the moment."
Joel couldn't help but grin as Dr. Forrester's image winked off
the screen once more. "Isn't that great guys? Now we can go wherever we
want on the Satellite like before!"
Crow shrugged while Tom yawned.
Joel leaned over close to them. "Guys....I REALLY think you
should be a LITTLE more enthusiastic....considering our audience just
saved our butts...."
Crow and Tom immediately perked up and began cheering and
whistling. Joel rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself. "Sometimes you
guys are a real pantload...."
* * *
DEEP 13
Dr. Forrester grumbled to himself as he stared into the file
drawer where some of the very worst in fanfiction and movies were
kept, just waiting to be unleashed on Joel and his friends. He
absentmindedly reached into the file drawer and randomly withdrew
a fanfic. He stared at the title for a few moments and was about to
return it to the drawer when he paused and looked closer at the title.
Then he read the first few pages, not daring to go any further without
risking his own mental health. Then he closed the fanfic and smiled.
"Dr. F?"
Dr. Forrester looked up to see his assistant, T.V's Frank,
standing nearby, looking nervous. "Well, Frank, what are you waiting
for? Push the button!"
"Uh, yes Dr. F!" Frank replied as he sauntered over to the
console and deftly pressed the button just as Dr. Forrester muttered
under his breath....
"Perhaps I've been a little too soft on Joel, lately....
THE REAL END.
(Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.)
MSTing number 8....Whew! I can't believe I've actually managed to
write and maintain a series. I know this MSTing was short compared
to the others. I wanted to find out if you prefer MSTings of this size or
whether you prefer the longer ones. Let me know what you think.
Normally, at this point, I would give very special thanks to Jeffrey
"Oneshot" Wong, whom, without his help and C&C, I wouldn't have
been able to finish this MSTing. However, this time he went above and
beyond the call of duty by working together with me on this project and
he deserves as much credit for this MSTing as I do. :)
I'd also like to thank Timothy McLees, Luna and Artemis, Chris
Bergstrom, Jay Dee Archer (Jupiter Knight) and Sakura for being nice
enough to post my MSTings on their webpages.
If there's anyone else I missed, I apologize.
Finally I'd like to thank M. Llave for writing "Men of Bokken" and
giving us a lot of material to work with. I hope you're not too offended.
If you are, feel free to MST my own works, I won't mind a bit.
C&C, as always, is appreciated. (fcasper@yesic.com) (jeffwong@li.net)
Feel free to send in any anime fanfic that you would like to see MSTed
and I'll take a look at it. Also, if you're interested in seeing any previous
episodes of this series, you can check them out at the following webpages
or, if you wish, I'd be happy to e-mail them to you. ;)
Also, there's a meeting of fanfic writers every Sunday, starting at 3:30
P.M. at Anime.Terratron.Com on IRC. New members are always welcome.
Sincerely,
Megane 6.7 and Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html
(Home of my MSTings and the MSTings of many other talented authors.)
The Official Homepage of Jeffrey "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.isc.rit.edu/~jkw7063/fanfic/index.htm
(Author of the popular "Usagi's Usual Morning" series and a great human being.)
100% Anime Fanfiction
http://www.smoky.org/~cberg/fanfics/
(216+ fanfics and going strong. Be sure to check out the Review page!)
Jupiter Knight's Great Sailor Moon Fanfic Archive
http://www.dragonfire.net/~JupiterKnight/fanfics.htm
(A great source of Sailor Moon Fanfics.)
Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html
(One of the most controversial fanfic writers today and one of my favorites.)
The New Luna and Artemis Central Command
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9897/
(The source of most of my MSTings and updated weekly with new fics.)
Sakura's Lemon Fan-Fiction Archive
http://anime.muck.com/~sakura/main.html
(Ever growing collection of Lemon Fanfiction from all walks of Anime.)
Oscar's Sailormoon Z and Hentai Fanfics, Archive Page
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3272/
(Proceed at your own risk....)
"Her daughter was beside her also embracing the piece of wood, tears
in her eyes, murmuring, "Daddy ! Daddy !"."
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics....
