Sarah: wow its a long night and you have to work tomorrow
Eric: work schmork its more fun to do this.
Sarah: okay well then you just got your butt kicked at Heroes of Might &
Magic so now what?
Eric: i hate that game, even on easy i cant win, its REALLY frustrating.
Sarah: okay heres one we had that first part with Ryouga and that
radiation and stuff.
Eric: ahh its the Sweeto fic
Sarah: Sweeto? Sweeto?
Tim Williams wrote:
The young woman stared into the night after her departed savior,
still too disoriented by the night's events to make her way up the stairs.
Sarah: yes its much safer to wait outside, i mean after i've been
attacked (usually by something really mean) i like to hover around its
lair.
Eric: boy you arent in a good mood tonight.
Sarah: some of your surliness is rubbing off on me.
At that moment, she knew she would never forget the mysterious masked man.
Sarah: wait i thought it was Ryouga who did the saving when did Zorro
pop in?
"He was so handsome... I think. He didn't take off that silly cloth
Eric: well he wouldnt be the mysterious masked man if he had taken it
off.
the whole time... oh well... it certainly got cold all of a sudden..."
Sarah: I knew it Ryouga stole her panties!
Eric: were they silky?
Sarah: you need a life, shouldnt you call Amber or something?
Eric: Quiet you!
With
that the woman adjusted her clothes, only to find that she had less then she
had started the night with.
Eric: *waves some cloth in the air* i got em right here!
Sarah: have you been scratched as well?
She was right about one thing, she would never forget her encounter
with Ryouga... and if she ever got her hands on him....
Eric: we'd have a lemon on our hands
Sarah: how come she's sure Ryouga stole'em?
Eric: i mean it coulda been that would-be rapist.
***
Eric: nothing like good ole gary's underscores.
Ryouga looked at the undergarments in his hands and thought, "What is
happening to me? Have I turned into some sort of pervert?"
Eric: well since this is an alternate verse, i suppose he wouldnt
realize he is the worst kind of pervert
Sarah: well considering he likes to pop into Akane's bed as a pig, well
a pervert he be.
Unconsciously,
Ryouga slips the silkies into his backpack where they rest beside a
Eric: you wanna keep it all in the same tense.
fairly
large number of others. " Everything was fine until... that day..."
Sarah: oh he has been busy. I thought the effects only started a little
bit ago.
***
Eric: mmm transitions.
It was actually quite interesting the way some new discoveries come
about. For instance, take Ryouga's latest discovery. The Baksi Tenketsu was
developed by the Amazons for use in mining, but over the years, the Amazons
gradually ran out of places to mine so the technique was more or less
relegated to the roll of a neat combat trick.
Sarah: neat combat trick?
Eric: that thing is pretty powerful.
Sarah: are we in a flash back?
That and the added endurance it provided, via the training, were
enough to keep the technique from fading out entirely.
Eric: its a good technique.
Sarah: humm this part is actually pretty interesting.
The warriors still trained in the method for at least a century, but
even the most destructive warrior woman used it no more than, maybe, a half
dozen times a month.
Eric: and usually on during that "special time" of the month.
Sarah: *glows green with power* for all women out there I'm going to
blast you!
Eric: *screams and narrowly evades being powerblasted by diving behind a
porcelain duck* Sorry!
Since most combats were just duels with other Amazons, it became even
more pointless. I mean, what's the point in using an attack that your
Sarah: woah! where did the I come from?
Eric: humm good point is the author reminicsing or did we switch solely
to Ryouga's view?
opponent is just as immune to as you are. The only fights where it came in
hand where with outsiders, and those and dwindled greatly in past years as
all outsiders soon became either too wise to encroach on the Amazon territory
or too powerful to challenge directly.
Eric: but then why did shampoo never learn it?
Sarah: cuz it was a useless technique. besides shush this is an altverse
fic.
Ryouga, however, was a different story.
Sarah: oh i see. humm okay...
Eric: did you lose your train of thought?
Sarah: ummm no?
He had a much easier time of getting from place to place if he could
just "remove" obstacles instead of walking around them (sometimes several
times).
Eric: still walking in straight line can be bad especially if you are
starting off in the wrong direction.
Sarah: i'd hate to see the property damage Ryouga causes in his hunts.
That meant one thing: practice. And lots of it, too. With daily
(sometimes hourly) use, Ryouga began to unlock some of the secrets of the
Blasting Point that had been buried by the sands of time.
Sarah: ohh it is flashback!
Eric: cool i like flowing through the sands of time!
Sarah: we're the first non-brazilians to travel backwards through time!
Mr. Peabody: correction Sarah, you're the second.
Little Boy: thats right Mr. Peabody!
Mr. Peabody: Quiet You!
Sarah: umm what was that?
Eric: really i have no clue.
The greatest and most important of these was that an object had not
one, but multiple points that would cause it to pulverize. Each point had
it's own unique "flavor."
Eric: this is pretty interesting, an indepth look at the breaking point.
Sarah: are we going back through time yet?
Over time, Ryouga managed to hone his skill to the point where when
faced with an obstacle like a 2 ton boulder, he could make it explode into
millions of razor sharp pieces, fall apart into fist sized chunks, vanish into
a mound of sand, or just fall in half, all with the touch of a finger and a
liberal jolt of chi.
Sarah: thats a pretty interesting idea.
Besides that, Ryouga made another discovery, he found that he didn't
get lost as much underground.
Eric: why?
Sarah: I'm sure he ended up in china numerous times though.
Eric: why china, japan is only a short hop away.
Sarah: humm the US?
That meant, when Ryouga was near to his destination (usually the Tendo
Dojo), he would begin to "tunnel" instead of walking on the surface.
Eric: the tendo dojo? how much of altverse fic is this?
Sarah: i'm a bit confused how much has happened from the manga/anime and
how much hasnt.
Three
times out of seven he got where he was going in a matter of hours
Eric: those are odds i wouldn't take in Atlantic City.
Sarah: *on the phone* Hello Vegas? Hundred dollars on black.
Eric: what are you doing?
Sarah: RED? uhhh... I'll send you a check. *quickly hangs up phone and
whistles innocently*
instead of
days, which, for Ryouga, is a remarkable percentage.
Eric: i suppose for Ryouga thats not bad. I mean considering he's lost
normally 100% of the time.
Sarah: still imagine the damage to cities infrastructures this boy can
cause.
Though it took him quite a while to figure out exactly how far down
he had to be to avoid the water pipes.
Sarah: ahh so he is p-chan!
Eric: at least he's being careful of destroying the infrastructure.
***
Deep in his lair, the old one slept the sleep of the dead. Which
wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as frightening if he actually was dead.
Sarah: humm is he out? where are we?
Eric: better question is when are we?
Suddenly, there was sound in the crypt of the ancient master.
Eric: its not quite a crypt if he's still alive
Sarah: the sound was ... booga booga!
A faint yell followed by one wall caving in. Then a form... a human
form walked into the forgotten prison with his lantern held high.
Eric: ahh i see we are still back in time.
Sarah: very interesting way creating a meeting.
"Hmmm, that's strange, this isn't the surface...." it said.
Sarah: oh c'mon we all know its Ryouga.
Maddened by his years of imprisonment and pained by the strange
radiations that had tormenting him for the last twenty years, the old
Eric: been tormenting
man was
incapable of rational thought...
Sarah: as opposed to normally?
Well, he did have one thought: "That... human... humans... put...
me... here... take...away... panties... must... hurt..."
Eric: mmm... panties...
Sarah: *sighs*
Too late did it notice the wizened form on the ground now in > the
Eric: too late did who notice? careful here you're causing confusion on
who is who.
middle of a leap.
***
Ryouga screamed as the... thing... bit into his arm. He swung > his arm
wildly and eventually managed to dislodge the creature which then > bounded away
Eric: damn that cujo i thought i had him tied out back.
down the tunnel. Fire crept into the bite, which caused it to pulse and
Sarah: you use which to much, you really dont have to: Fire crept into
the bite causing it to pulse and throb
throb, and his mind filled with desires and voices not his own.
Eric: oh sure it just released the latent pervert in you.
He had to get out of here, had to get back... to Akane... had to...
find... some... panties...
Eric: well i suppose those are sentiments i can understand.
And with that he lapsed into unconsciousness.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah: oh no tooo many.... ..... dashes.... being... crushed.
Eric: and you tell me to grow up?
To be continued? Well, send me a comment and tell me what you think! If not,
my lazy behind will never manage to finish it up...
Author's Notes:
Ok, so I finally got it cleaned up :) I hope it's a lot better now,
but my style needs a little work, I'm a bit rusty and all.
Sarah: true you still have a lot of typos and tense switches.
This whole thing was brought about by a thought that drifted through
my head while I was mowing the lawn: "My pervert senses are tingling!"
Sarah: i think i'll refrain from commenting on this.
Eric: is that that odd sensation only men feel.
Um, I'd appreciate any and all criticism and comments. This thing
didn't really get proof read too much but I ran a spell checker over it (well,
Eric: well you didnt have any typos!
Sarah: you should read over it though, it would clear up alot of
mistakes.
Eric: i tend to read mine out loud too make sure it soudns alright.
Sarah: and he even affects voices for all the characters...
Eric: I do no such thing.
Sarah: in your sleep you do.
on this version) and I've decided that I'll probably continue it into a series
if I get positive results out of this posting... Though I'm still a little
stuck on where to go from here. I'm going to stick in a scene with Dr. Tofu
analyzing the mutation of Ryouga's DNA and maybe a scene with Akane,
Sarah: humm Tofu probably wouldnt do that kind of thing though. he's
more along the lines of a general practioner.
Eric: a very hyped up chiropracter?
though I
really can't write her very well.
Eric: you could reduce her to a stereotype
The title is from Saturday morning cartoons, since that's where I saw
most of my Spiderman, etc. If you can't tell, this is meant to be very comic
Sarah: ahh now i understand the title and the implications.
Eric: pretty clever actually.
bookish in the American sense (heavy on the original Spidy). I'd appreciate
any ideas on "powers" I can stick in for Ryouga... though I'm not sure
Sarah: ability to generate an enormous amount chi might be one? this is
happosai after all.
Eric: and he takes up drinking habits.
how
being able to cling to breasts upside down will get worked in... Oh, well.
Eric: doing that for someone his size might be intersting too,
considering you suggested early on in the story that he weighs a ton.
Sarah: and will he be affected by Happy's problems.
Eric: and why didnt he say sweeto in this one?
Sarah: Sweeto? Sweeto?
Oh, and I'd really like to thank AloshaSitaJasmine (a.k.a. Sailor Avalon)
for his C&C of this because it would have been totally lost to the mists of
time without his post (ie, my Eudora ate the original... I only had one copy,
which was stupid of me, but his post didn't disappear and is where this whole
thing came from). I took most of his suggestions, though he made the comment
that my revision of the Breaking Point was unbelieveable... umm... and the
original version of it is? *grin*
Sarah: really i thought that your revision of the breaking point was
great.
Eric: one of the strengths of your story and everything like that.
Sarah: the description of the breaking point was well done.
I have some thoughts for another project (actually a pair of projects)
that involve Discworld (Terry Pratchett :) and either (or both) OMG and
Ranma... ideas for either would be appreciated... though I think Ranma vs.
Genghis Cohen would be pretty neat... or maybe Gosunkugi enrolled at Unseen
University... that could be neat... though the odds of them getting written
(especially any time soon) are pretty slim.
Sarah: all these are over my head.
Eric: mine too.
Later :) Tim Williams
twillia4@utk.edu rogerl@usit.net
It'd probably be best if you send any comments, etc, to the rogerl@usit.net
address since I check it more often.
Sarah: well it was interesting. Like we said the big strength of it
your breaking point.
Eric: its a pretty cool concept and I hope you finish it eventually
--
"I always hated stories that ended poorly. I
always felt cheated. But you can't feel cheated
forever. And then she woke up...
I suppose there are worse endings."
--Rose Walker, Lost Hearts
http://www.erols.com/eda104/